Neighbours complaining about my sons drumming

[sunshine05]

So my 9 year old son has been learning the drums for 1.5 years now. The neighbours (who made our lives hell during our extension) have complained to the council numerous times and now someone from the council is coming round to talk to us about this. We live in a detatched house, the bedroom where the drumming takes place is 3 rooms away from a brick wall then there's a gap then the neighbours house. So it's not like we're in a semi detatched house.

Does anyone know do they have a claim against us?? Does my son have to give up something he loves?? He's learning a musical instrument!! I am so stressed about this- I'm shaking as I type. I was so stressed when they were unreasonable during our extension. He plays during the day only 5-10 mins and between the times of 8am and 8pm so we're as considerate as we can be.

I'm not sure where we stand legally

You can also make sure windows are closed and line the drumming room with soundproofing wall tiles.

I do find the op’s report suspect because for the most part it is the people doing the extension imposing on the neighbors. Realistically, what could you be neighbors have done except expect the builders to follow the rules on time and not trespass on their property.

well thanks for the responses people. I never knew mumsnet was so full of bullies and keyboard warriors. It's a good thing my mental health is ok, as people like some of you could push someone over the edge.

I have friends i can talk to about this, so my mistake, I won't be coming on here again. It saddens me that people will type anything without thinking of the consequences of how their words can make people feel. This saddens me for my kids who are trying to find their way in the world. I hope they don't come across people like the ones who have made mean comments on here.

Terrace58 thanks for the suggestions. I'll do my best to minimise any sound to the neighbours. But with respect you know nothing about what happened with the exension and the harrassment and bullying we got from them.

Sorry but you are being very unfair to anyone living on your street , I knew someone who played drums and he would either hire a studio or take his kit out to a lay-by area in the middle of nowhere to practice as it simply wasn't fair on local residents , not only do you get the noise but shock waves causing vibration too. Maybe hire a studio once a week and in between practice with electric set and earphones, however brilliant your son is inflicting drumming or any other loud instrument on other people isn't fair

Change his drum kit to an electric and he can play as long as he wants with headphones.

You can buy sound absorbing pads (pretty cheap - Amazon, eBay) that you can stick on the walls of the room he’s drumming in. It should mask the noise quite well so long as the window is closed etc.

You’re getting unnecessary stick here op, hope your son can carry on doing something he enjoys.

Of course we know nothing about the extension troubles as you haven't told us!

The responses you're getting are directly in proportion to how unreasonable you're being. Drums are great, but you have to expect that they're the type of instrument people are likely to complain about.

Soundproof the room and go and talk to the neighbours.

You say little and often, but then you say 5 to 10 minutes a day, so which is it?

feathermucker first of all I don't really feel like opening up to you lot as you haven't been welcoming or particularly nice- some people far from it! plus the extension issue isn't what I'm discussing here.

little and often meaning 5-10 minutes each day. Does that clarify things?

And i disagree. i was hoping for constructive advice not abuse. 2 very different things.

thank you Redwine123 for your 'normal' and nice comments! I only know 'normal' nice people so it's a shock to have such abuse.

I'll look into the shock absorber pads- good idea.

(see, everyone else, a good supportive bit of advice which may solve all my problems!)

lunar1 this is an option however an expensive one as we already have a drum kit. I'll see what the council say when they come and discuss things with us.

Sounds like you have put your neighbour through hell, what with construction works and drums. Then you have the audacity to call him “cowardly”. You might want to think about a word to describe yourself - inconsiderate is one that springs to mind. I don’t think anyone would willingly live next door to the noise your household makes.

And calling him cowardly for not coming to talk to you? Have you ever been over to apologise to him? He probably thinks you are too unreasonable to talk to after the extension business. And besides, what reasonable person has a drum kit blasting out every day?

like i said popcornlover you know nothing about the extension- we did nothing wrong.

When our son was learning the drums, we lived in a terraced house. Before he played a note, I went round to both neighbours and asked them to suggest a one hour slot that would suit them, and that he would never play them outside that time. I think we all agreed on the one hour between 5 and 6pm (it was several decades ago so not certain of the exact hour). This worked really well, as the neighbours knew when they were “safe“ from the noise.

@sunshine05

well thanks for the responses people. I never knew mumsnet was so full of bullies and keyboard warriors. It's a good thing my mental health is ok, as people like some of you could push someone over the edge.

I have friends i can talk to about this, so my mistake, I won't be coming on here again. It saddens me that people will type anything without thinking of the consequences of how their words can make people feel. This saddens me for my kids who are trying to find their way in the world. I hope they don't come across people like the ones who have made mean comments on here.

🙄 Have you always had a overreaction problem 😂😂

You’re also a laugh going on about your mental health after posting a thread - what do you think you are doing to your neighbour’s mental health? That’s why he rang the council. He is in the right.

This is nothing to do with human rights lol. Get some pads for the drums and keep windows closed

Mwaaaah ha ha - this must be a joke ? Your neighbour must be longing for the day you move out to torment someone else

Methinks the lady doth protest too much!

Tbh op you sound very defensive, I thought I'd come up with a good suggestion i.e. having a pre-arranged time. Living in a community you have to be aware of neighbours having different values, foibles, personalities, thresholds etc and attempt to rub along with them. It sounds like they are too scared to talk to you face to face which is a shame. Obviously we don't know about the extension business but assume it wasn't harmonious. The fact that the neighbours opposite can hear it should be obvious it's intrusive. You seem to think that because it doesn't bother them it shouldn't bother anyone else.

Op - I was a child musician and practised regularly for 3/4 hours per day. Went to a music college. Luckily my parents and neighbours came to an agreement that there would be no open windows and permitted hours - not any time I felt like it between 8am-8pm. Neighbours were also lucky that none of my instruments were drums. So I have some sympathy.
However - just because they have been to you to talk it through doesn’t mean you can approach them, apologise and see what you can do. If it is only 10 mins per day why don’t you see if a 1 hour window would help. There’s nothing worse than unexpectedly noise at all hours of the day. Something as simple as never outside of say 4-5pm or whatever. That might be a start. And then never for more than 15 mins wishing that time. Mi don’t understand why you don’t understand what a noise nuisance smoggy be being experienced by your neighbours.
If and when he needs or wants more time either an electric set with headphones or rent a practice space.
Drums are loud !
Good luck. Try to see their POV. Personally if I had sudden drumming at any hours of the day I’d be furious my neighbour hadn’t thought to come round and see how best to manage/minimise it for me in my home.

Can't you soundproof the room? Not really fair on your neighbors

@popcornlover

You’re also a laugh going on about your mental health after posting a thread - what do you think you are doing to your neighbour’s mental health? That’s why he rang the council. He is in the right.

This. Looking at your post and answers it looks like you only see your side and your needs. He might have some mental health issues and speaking with you might be to stressful to him. He called the council as the drums are too intrusive and you have some issues after extension. You need to look at the issue from the other point of view.