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Original poster

If you are a 'shoes off' household, do you/how do you get guests to comply without being rude?

174 replies

Gemzooks · 07/10/2008 11:17

We always take our shoes off and wear slippers at home. lived in Russia and Kazakhstan where that is the norm and got used to it, now it seems gross to come in and tread in all the dirt from outside.

However, how do we manage with guests? As most people aren't used to it? Do you just bite your lip and ignore it, or just provide slippers in a rather obvious way?/ have loads of outdoor shoes in the hall (the passive-aggressive approach)

any tips appreciated!

OP posts:
bythepowerofgreyskull · 07/10/2008 13:01

I never ask people to take their shoes off but my Mum always says - you don't mind me keeping my shoes on do you.. in answer to that I always say - Well I would prefer you to change to indoor shoes but it is up to you..
Last time she came she bought some indoor shoes to keep here.

Most people see the shoe locker at the door and take their shoes off without being asked.

Yes we do have a door mat - a HUGE one that the kids stand on to take their shoes off.

BloodAndMutts · 07/10/2008 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

choosyfloosy · 07/10/2008 13:08

A guest is sacred and should do whatever they like in my house - rule of hospitality IMO.

(rule of being a good guest is another matter).

ghosty · 07/10/2008 13:09

I don't know anyone with smelly feet.

ghosty · 07/10/2008 13:09

but then I wouldn't know as I encourage them to keep their shoes on

Nearly went on to the wrong side of the argument there

hotmama · 07/10/2008 13:12

Generally have a no shoe rule - hence the row of shoes by the front door. However, have stone kitchen floor and wooden floor in the dining room and hall.

However, we have a cream carpet in the lounge and that is a definite no shoes room and have no problem telling anyone who wants to go in there to take their shoes off - otherwise you don't go in!

Apart from the lounge would prefer shoes not worn but am not particularly precious about it!

whispywhisp · 07/10/2008 13:15

I agree...its rude to ask someone to remove their shoes BUT I would definitely ask them to take them off if they've got mud on them or they've trodden in something! Most people that come here tend to take their shoes off before I've even noticed or even ask me if they should take them off...and providing they're not filthy dirty I don't mind them keeping them on.

We don't wear shoes in my house mainly because my house is fully carpeted (apart from kitchen) and the carpets last longer especially on the stairs. Plus I hate to see shoe prints on the kitchen floor...it's bad enough dealing with paw prints let alone dirty shoe prints.

taipo · 07/10/2008 13:17

We take our shoes off but wouldn't ever ask a guest to do so. It's not that much dirt that is brought in anyway, although my dad somehow manages to bring great clods of earth with him whenever he comes in from outside and then leaves a trail of mud around the house.

LadySanders · 07/10/2008 13:19

i ask visiting kids to take shoes off, but not adults. adults seem generally less likely to have been wandering in mud, and in my house at least, a lot less likely to be jumping on the sofa or standing on the baby's playmat

JuneBugJen · 07/10/2008 13:19

Sorry, you dont ask. They are guests. If they pick up on the hint then great. If not grin and bear it and invest in a vax.

bosch · 07/10/2008 13:21

Friends have gently pointed out that they would like us to take our shoes off. Would not consider leaving them on.

Did once listen to long diatribe about small boy who hadn't taken his shoes off and got mud everywhere - then realised when I came to leave that I'd forgotten to take mine off. Oh, what trials the middleclasses have to face....

Have floorboards and dustballs in my house, don't bother taking your shoes off, you'll get dusty socks!

Bramshott · 07/10/2008 13:24

DD1 (5) is my shoe police

Original poster
Gemzooks · 07/10/2008 13:26

thanks for responses! Will go with the pile of shoes thing and not asking directly.

Funnily enough in Kazakhstan it's so totally not done to come into a house with shoes on that tradesmen always take their shoes off, plumbers or whatever! Quite sweet really..

I agree with expat that carpets are minging, however we thought we were being clever by having WHITE laminate that shows every speck (quite good for the homebirth I am contemplating as you can wash anything off it). High heels etc are not very good for it..

I would never like to be that woman on that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode who screams at Larry 'Take your F@&$*ing shoes off in my house!'(I had to laugh though)..

OP posts:
Original poster
Gemzooks · 07/10/2008 13:27

forgot to say that DS is 2 now but when he was a baby I did ask people to take them off because I thought he was crawling around etc and hated the thought of some dirt or dog shit or whatever being brought in and him getting at it...

OP posts:
crokky · 07/10/2008 13:32

I think this is difficult.

I take the "they are guests" point and therefore you shouldn't ask them HOWEVER I do think they should offer if it is clearly a no shoes household. Otherwise the guests are being rude.

So basically, it should be unspoken and obvious - if host asks, it's rude but if guest doesn't observe the obvious, that's also rude.

I find that most people remove their shoes when the come to my house. It is obvious (pile of shoes) that it is a no shoes house.

LadySanders - I have had an adult come into my house in shoes and stand on my baby's playmat (in corner of room). I was a bit pissed off about it.

tryingtoleave · 07/10/2008 13:58

My in-laws do the no shoes thing and I must say I hate it. I hate having to change my shoes when I go in and out, I hate wearing slippers inside (makes me feel like going to bed) and I hate manky piles of shoes in the hall when you walk in. But if I do see a pile of shoes in someone's hall I will always offer to take off my shoes. I think that should be an obvious enough hint.

What I do find annoying is when my mil comes to stay with me she pointedly shows me the slippers she has brought and then leaves her piles of shoes in my hall. Also my fil said my carpet was a microbial swamp (I agree with expat that he is probably right but I can't afford to change it at the moment).

bronze · 07/10/2008 14:03

I'm guessing none of the shoes off people have cats or dogs and the like.

GrapefruitMoon · 07/10/2008 14:05

Our house seems to have become a "shoes off" one somehow - at least for our kids who do it automatically now. But neither dh nor I come from such a house! I would never expect guests to do it, unless they had muddy feet, etc but we don't have carpets downstairs anyway now so it's no big deal...

mazzystartled · 07/10/2008 14:07

buy a doormat

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 07/10/2008 14:20

Lady Sanders - lol at the thought of guests jumping on the sofa! |We have always been shoes off, wooden floors (ugh at carpets!!) but do not ask guests. Children always do just take their shoes off anyway.

Boyswillbeboys · 07/10/2008 14:28

I don't ask adults but I definitely ask visiting children. And I ask women friends to keep their stilletoes on the rug after a friend of mine left little dents all over my lovely new wood floor .

Have several Japanese friends who insist on everyone taking their shoes off at the door, it's a cultural thing I suppose. I don't mind, just make sure I wear my best socks when I visit

motherinferior · 07/10/2008 14:32

I don't notice, really. I take my shoes off because I want to - I do it in other people's houses too, always have.

Shoes gag me, as the great Mizz Monroe said. Although she was talking about pants, not shoes.

motherinferior · 07/10/2008 14:35

You do walk past a row of shoes in our front hall, though. DP takes his off too. It's an Asian thang.

Heated · 07/10/2008 14:41

Had a furniture delivery and installation from Holland and the men tooks their clogs off at the door

hifi · 07/10/2008 14:51

what about dog shit? wouldnt want it trailed in.