Cleaner gave out my gate code and invited her husband in

[JuniperAndLamplight]

I'd really appreciate any advice re what to do re my cleaner who I've had for many years. I've been away for two weeks and gave her a key to our home and the gate code. I also gave her a schedule of hours required, and paid her in advance. Our home security system sends notifications of all activities, which revealed that she only worked 2hr shifts when I paid her for 3hrs, gave our security gate code to her her husband (not a very pleasant man who she is always about to divorce on account of account of his untrustworthy and troubled behaviour), and let him into our home for 12 minutes, when there was nobody home. I have no way of knowing what he was doing in that time, and it's been a great worry, as there was all sorts of sensitive paperwork lying around etc. I know she really needs the money (which ironically is why I made the arrangements, even though I didn't need her to clean in my absence), and she always does a great job, and is reliable in every other way, but I just don't know what to do? I am usually at home when she's here, so maybe I could keep her on, but not leave her home alone again..?

When you say in your OP that she let her husband in, was that when she was there (ie he maybe came to pick her up) or on his own.

If the latter, no excuses..

She was there alone, and he came at some point during her shift, using our gate code to access our home and then entering our home where he stayed with her (doing I can't be sure what) before departing 12 mins later.

I do get it. Good cleaners are like gold dust. So many take the piss with not working their set hours, not doing a good enough job, only having a set range of tasks they'll do or insisting their routine is all they'll do.

So if she does a good job, I'd keep her on. But I'd take precautions. Lock any valuables away. Only have her in when you're home. Change the gate code. Get the key back. The key issue is that the dodgy husband could have copied it.

This. Bloody hell. I thought I was soft, but people are agreeing you should keep her on, after she didn't do the hours required, gave out your security details and let her dodgy husband into the house.

I'd change the code, ask her why he was there and then if she doesn't have a great answer, dismiss her. There's just a tiny chance he came to change the washer on a dripping tap or a fuse that had blown. But she should have asked you first.

I'd never trust that person again. And I'd hate to have to hang around at home every time the cleaner came, just because I couldn't trust her. I'd rather put on some good music and do the cleaning myself.

Yeah i would let her go.

She has shown she is not trustworthy out of your presence.

I would also echo PP’s suggestion of changing your locks as well as your gate code.

I leave my cleaner alone in the house without any concern whatsoever.

And don’t ever put someone else’s financial situation on your own shoulders.

Even if he needed to bring her something, she should have met him at the gate.

I don't think that's such an issue, maybe he came to help her with something, bring something etc.

I'd have a word, but not let her go for that.

I think it's worth a conversation before firing her. I mean, she let her husband in while she was there - presumably he needed to speak to her about something. Leaving an hour early each shift isn't on, but what is there to clean when there is no one in the home? Maybe after washing the floors/dusting, there was nothing left for her to do? Do you have any agreement of things she should get on with once the 'must do' cleaning jobs are finished?

I agree, the main issue was entering and staying in home for a considerable period of time with no knowledge of his actions (not least when she was supposed to be working), and of course giving him our gate code which we never give out to anyone other than her.

I would say the issue is that had op not had or checked her security system, she would still be unaware that an extra person knew her gate code.

Realistically I doubt he was up to no good - likely having a chat about something (which she could do whilst working) helping her with a task, bringing her something like say her phone. And 12 mins is not really a lot of time. If he was there on his own, that would be different.

My wife has come to properties I'm working on to drop off my lunch, give me a hand with something heavy etc. when the customer is out or away.

She has to go. We had this with a cleaner once, and I made my DH sack her. You can't give people access to your home when they've shown themselves to be untrustworthy, you don't know what she's going to do next.

You have to ask what her husband was doing there, there could be an explanation if she was having trouble with something and asked him to pop in and help. Can't really think what, but you never know.

The odd hour I would probably forget if the house was clean and tidy when you got back, you really knew it wouldn't need much cleaning and you were just paying for a few hours because she was broke.

And remind her that you have cameras and can see everyone that comes and goes.

No matter how secure you think your home is, never leave bank statements out. I've gone completely digital with them now and they're all on my banking app. At least lock your paperwork away when you're on holiday,

You left banking paperwork visible and accessible. Unwise.

You cleaner stole from you when she billed hours she didn't work. This would s after you giving her work you didn't really need done.

She gave out your door code and gave an unauthorized person access to your home.

There is no way you should keep her after this, she lied, stole, and let her husband in your home. She's an opportunist and untrustworthy.

I have a habit of always looking for the best in people. If he's really that bad, could it be that he knew you were away so was badgering her to let him have a look. She might have just given in for a peaceful home life.

That said, I would perhaps say to her that you're aware that he was there and that you're very disappointed with that and the fact that she has worked less hours than you've paid her for.

Her reaction to that would drive my decision about whether to let her go.

In any event, when you're home you need to change your gate and alarm code, and possibly the barrels on your locks, because he may have tried to sneak copies.

Sack her. Change your locks and your key code. You don't trust her. You can't have her in your home.

In the first instance I would speak to her because she is struggling to pay bills but she might have thought she was done early so went.

I would let her know you paid for 3 hours but she only done 2.
I would let her know she was unreasonable in giving her DH your gate code and allowing them in the house.

I would put her on a final good behaviour warning and see how she went.

In future i wouldn't allow her to work in your hse when you are away. I would pay her maybe 2hrs when you were away so your still covering her wage but minimising your risk. The reason i say cover her wage because if you use a child minder for instance you still pay them when you are away, you still pay your gym membership when your away - you pay for lots of services when you are off on holiday but don't use.

I would get rid immediately. How dare she give him your passcode? He could use that any time he wanted. I can't think of one reason to keep her - she's cheating on you regarding the hours and she let her husband have your code. He was in your house, when you wouldn't normally have wanted him to come in - there was no reason for him to be there except to nose around.

No good deed goes unpunished as they say.

You need to check your valuables and electronics when you get home and make sure nothing's missing. I'd also check for anything the husband might have placed in your home for monitoring. This is a really significant breach of your security. Change all your passwords and monitor your banking and any credit cards.

I think you should tell her you're really disappointed about the fact she let husband in (not even to join her, when house was empty), and ask why.

It could be she left something there and he was much nearer the house? I'm presuming nothing was missing or looked 'moved'?

I'd change the gate code, not give it to her and just only have her there when you are from now on.

Does she know the CCTV is there?

I would talk to her and see what she says beforehand, there could be a reasonable explanation. No explanation to dodge hours but I feel that’s fairly common.

In the past my mother had to sack someone due to her letting her addict son in the home. It sucked and she was lovely but he was too much of a risk. We’re still friendly many years later, it was just the circumstances.

So you sent and deleted this message hours ago-have you spoken to her?

The WhatsApp message I accidentally sent her and deleted was sent while I was away last week. I've not seen her yet, no, just trying to figure out best way forward.