Decluttering Thread 6 - hit those targets before New Year!

[Pigtailsandall]

So the last thread got filled up and I think I seem to have taken it on myself to start a new one every time, lol! I hope everyone finds us because I'm too lazy to tag everyone, but here's few who spring to mind. It also doesn't let me add some people, for some reason

@realfastfoodie
@IndianSummer78
@stealthninjamum
@cornedbeef451
@EllieQ
@Gassylady
@IncessantNameChanger

@nordicmom
@Vinorosso74

Now it's the last push until the holidays to get it all out and done (before new cr*p comes in)

@stealthninjamum - would you be willing to share your list of 60 places? I feel like it might be helpful!

And any top tips to deal with toys? The kids are 0 and 3 so I feel like if we are already overwhelmed it’s only going to get worse. I actually don’t mind a decent quantity of toys out and about so long as it isn’t chaos.

realfastfoodie I’d love to share the list but I put it on our tiny decisions app. It was a mixture of types of items and places.

it’s really specific to my house and so far I’ve only done about half the rooms. It’ll be organising / decluttering so when I do an area I’ll do both. This is because most of the time with Toss I end up moving items out of the area and putting them in the right place. So I did my bathroom cabinets last week and ended up moving about 6 loads of medicines to the medicine cabinet. I reckon it’ll only take a couple of minutes a day to declutter most areas and a couple of minutes to move items to the correct places.

examples were
kitchen baking stuff and cereals cupboard
baking trays cupboard
recipe books
crap drawe under recipe books
tupperware
pans
larder Cupboard
medicines
plasatic plates / cups/ drinks bottles / reusable plasticcoffee mugs
Mugs
glasses
cleaning products
under sink
pastas and pulses
kitchen fridge
utility room fridge
kitchen freezer
utility room freezer
corner cupboard
cupboard above fridge

tools
decorating equipment
utility room ‘big’ cupboard
electrical items eg adapters and wires and disco lights

CDs/ DVDs

downstairs toilet

airing cupboard
bedding
siseboard
dining table
chest of drawers dining room
console table dining room

sitting room book case
sitting room chest of drawers

Hats/ scarfs / gloves
sandles, boots and shoes
cupboard under stairs

batteries
lightbulbs
greeting cards
wrapping paper

Everyone is doing so well. I can relate to revisting areas and it seeming like its never going down, but at same thing its getting easier.

Yesterday I went to the tip and loaded the car for charity but got sidetracked and the shop was shut. Will go on Saturday now.

Yesterday I was trying to find dd shoe. Found one under the bed so I'm cleaning the floor to find the other one today.

This morning I chose a clothes rail in dds room. Counted all the items on it. Took them ALL out. All the ones in size 7-8 ( dd is 9, tiny never grows - its honestly concerning, a size 8-9 is too big) all photographed all of it. I will then upload ten things a day to Vinted. I'm setting a limit this time to get rid of the Vinted stuff. The rail has just absorbed the overflow from random hanging on back of doors but that's OK. The doors are clear and next week I will do the same in another off dd draw or cupboard and eventually, over a few weeks, her wardrobe will be ready to swop over for summer. Little bits that feel never ending add up. I could not have done this last winter as it was overwhelming.

I know that when I get the winter jumpers out next autumn it will only be stuff that fits, not various sizes ranging from age 5-9. So thinning will be easier still.

The key is not buying anything I spot to grow into for her. I'm only going to buy what she needs as she needs it. It's not a bargain if I have bought and forgotten 5 jumpers to grow into then buy five more forgetting what I have. I have a kalix box to grow into and two kalax of summer bits. Again this time next year I'm aiming for 1 kalax box of out of season. Slowly slowly it works.

@IncessantNameChanger I'm guilty of overbuying for the kids' future clothes too. My kids are almost 4 and almost 2, yet they're almost in the same size clothes.

I tend to buy a lot for my DD as I find better bargains but also as she grows so slowly stuff will probably get used eventually. I try not to buy so much for my DS as he's growing faster.

I'm aiming to stop buying early as it causes waste but I'm struggling with this urge to collect 'bargains'.

@Nordicmom Well done on carrying on when you're ill. You always seem to have a huge pile of outs!

@IndianSummer78 Some of my hoarding issues definitely come from growing up poor.

I rarely had decent clothes, always hand me downs that didn't fit, second hand shoes bought from the market and having to go without coats etc. I know this is why I hoard clothing and as much as I try to force myself to buy less but better pieces, I'm always attracted to more but cheaper items.

My mum used to throw anything we left lying around on the fire. If she was in a mood she would take toys off us and throw them on the fire and make us watch them burn. As we couldn't afford much, we had very little of our own growing up. This has made me hoard things and as soon as I could, I started buying more and more things.

I also come from a family who all kept things far longer than normal. My dad has hoarding tendencies but he's also obsessively tidy so manages to keep everything pristine which is my aim for the future. I used to be able to do it but it all fell apart when my marriage went down the pan and I struggled with my MH.

I want to get the house sorted so that the kids don't grow up with weird tendencies like I have.

It's a shame that these legacies make such a mark on us.

@PissedOffNeighbour22 you sound quite similar to me. I had about ten items hanging in my wardrobe growing up, mostly hand me downs. Dad gave mum money to buy us clothes but dad didn't seem to notice had very little.

What is insane as I'm about to inherit 220k of mums money. I could have done with spent on me as a kid or when I had my first child. Dad had a massive sweets jar - the type you get a old fashion puck and mix shops, full of £2 coins. Dad died when I was 34 weeks pg. Mum showed me the jar and said "dad was saving this to buy you a cot" then kept it. My first three kids slept in a second cot with its original mattress that a fellow work colleague gave me. Five of his dc and sdc had used it.

It add adds to the hoarding mh soup. I keep saying how could I not be hoarder with all this mental stuff in my past.

Another large item collected today - yay!

For those with phones - well worth selling on eBay. Especially if you have the box! This is something I do actually keep up-to-date with as unused electronics hanging around really bothers me. Not sure why! You could use musicmagpie or similar but you'll get more using an auction on eBay.

I've added more bits to various piles today but can't shift them yet.

I also got rid of some boxes I had saved for vinted but clearly don't need.

I would love to see all the things that have left the house all in a big pile so I can get an idea of what I've achieved. I guess that's why it's worth counting!

I've finally made it to the tip today & the post office, so am feeling lighter today.

I have one box of stuff that needs sorting in my bedroom that I just can't seem to get around to - that's my aim for tonight!

I’ve gone through my car and the medicines cabinet today. I won’t add the items to the total as they weren’t proper clutter but it was 1 gone off olbas oil and in the car a receipt, empty de icer bottle from yesterday and a drinks bottle from before Christmas.

i decided to throw away a radio in the kitchen as we all use our phones for music. It’s in a bag with other wires and electrical stuff to take to Currys this week.

@IncessantNameChanger our mums sound very similar. Mine kept inheritances that belonged to me and my brother and refused to spend anything on us day to day. Even now she's the same - she's inheriting £110k that had been verbally agreed to be shared out but she won't be sharing it with anyone.

I find it very strange that they'll happily watch family struggle. The cot money your mum took is especially cold behaviour.

No wonder we have messed up heads. I suppose it could have caused a lot worse than hoarding though!
My brother somehow seems to have escaped unscathed and is pretty normal.

Gah I'm reading these stories, and - I'm really sorry. Sounds like many of you have struggled with really cold and unusual family environments and I'm not surprised that MH issues have raised their head in hoarding. My parents were poor when I was very little, but our family finances did improve around the time I was 9-10, I think the early 90s boom of better salaries and jobs was more evident. But they were still reluctant to let things go, and we had a big farmhouse with outbuildings where you could keep storing stuff... My mum's gotten so much better over the course of time, but she still can't resist a "bargain" and often overbuys. She definitely has a scarcity mindset.

I'm still jetlagged and I'm going back to work tomorrow. I spent today cleaning and tidying and doing small odd jobs. Found some stuff to let go of, and listed a few things on Vinted too. I did buy some stuff, I must admit - 2 new pairs of trousers for me, a fleece and an outdoor coat (all needed), but also 2 new t-shirts (def not needed), so I am going to try to declutter a few things. I also got some new books for DC, a fleece and some school trousers and a little lego box, so I'll have to declutter the same amount out. One in, one out.

Out so far today:
pair of wrecked kids socks
almost empty jojoba oil which is really old
pdf version of a book
cracked phone cover
small satin pouch that came with something
3 greeting cards
5 smelly tea lights
small pocket mirror, broken
kids memory game we got on the plane
colouring book

Total is 40

@PissedOffNeighbour22 I have 96k of mums money just sitting in an account that I can't bear to touch since late last year. I know mum left it to me and it was in her will but imagine she would be seething. But then I think dad would want me to have it and improve my life. Me and dh are never rolling in cash but we get by relatively fine. Once mums house is sold I'm paying my mortgage off. Then I'm going to spend about 4k on old F type as I have always wanted a Jag since I was little girl. I wanted a XJS but they have gone through the roof recently. I can't justify the running cost so will probably sell if after 12 months.

I did my bedroom floor. Used a coat hanger to dig out anything I could reach under the devan frame. Then found the shoes outside on the landing!! Argh! I listen yo podcast 3 of a slob comes clean whilst doing it. Put the floor findings in piles that went back to their homes. I filled a small bin bag too!

I'm thinking that taking stuff to it's rightful home isn't decluttering. However once it's all in its proper home you can thin it from there.

So many odd socks under the bed. My daughter straps off next to my my bed to read on it and obviously things have somehow gone under under the bed.

Mental note to fish things out once a month before hoovering. The bed is super kind so impossible to move often.

Still feeling positive.

It's funny how you sometimes don't realise how your upbringing effects you. We weren't poor by any stretch of the imagination but were never really allowed ownership of our own things, my mum would give my things away and it frustrates me to see her doing the same thing to my niece. One year I had a birthday party and she went around my room and picked out things to use as prizes for party games, I didn't notice until they started being given to the guests!

The end result is I'm a bit of a hoarder and my sister has no care at all about her belingings!

More on topic, I've sold a pair of jeans on Vinted which were posted out today, chucked out some ready made icing from 2017 and 'decluttered' a miniature of Bacardi I got at Christmas. Really struggling with these long dark days after Christmas, having to drag myself out of bed when my alarm goes off so just don't have the time for serious decluttering on a work day!

Thanks so much @stealthninjamum - I’m going to try it. It’s made me think about what would be on my list too!

Cleaned the fridge fully today before the supermarket delivery arrived. We generally do this weekly but I’m more thorough so I did it all with the last bit of energy I had .
Otherwise I did less today in general since my back was horrible from yesterday’s decluttering and cleaning . I did the daily tidying and cleaning plus laundry but not weekly stuff like dusting that needs doing or extra stuff that will just have to wait like the tree ornaments that are on 2 trays in the living room or the second food cupboard which will take more effort than yesterday’s one . Feeling very sleepy but I’ll try to get a few more admin things done today .

Out today :
-a bunch of expired food from the fridge including jars and bottles we’ll recycle
-3 old dental items from kids bathroom
-1 DD gift block of soap that’ll never be used
-1 lone games sock
-2 parts of a lint roller we don’t need

Total is 203

Sold two things on Vinted and used up a small travel toothpaste. Total is 43 now

Sorry to read all the sad stories, can’t believe how mean some parents can be!

My childhood wasn’t like that but we did move a lot and often had to part with stuff that wouldn’t come with us. I know I went through a serious hoarder phase as a teen but I grew out of it/moved too many times again to keep everything.

I think when I was settled in this house and started having DC, I just accumulated more and more and more things. Good intentions, nice toys, books, clothes for the kids and so on. I’m not sure what finally tipped the balance but accepting not having the 4th DC meant I could start clearing out the baby stuff, then the toddler stuff, etc etc

Now it’s not so much that we have hoarded stuff, just we are victims of a consumer society and I want less crap around me!

OUT
2 x Christmas jigsaw advent calendars collected

35+2=37

Had a quick look through my clothes drawers.

Out:
6 x tatty holey pairs of socks
2 x old T-shirts that have done their time

35+8=43

@IncessantNameChanger I’m sorry you’re going through an emotional time. I think these threads and diet threads really draw out those of us whose parents perhaps weren’t as they should be and the resulting problems we have. Anyway it sounds like you have made amazing progress. You deserve your car so don’t feel bad about enjoying the money.

@Realfastfoodie i hope the list helps. My house is clean and sort of decluttered but even though I’m on the third day of doing this I think it could be good in the long term.

Toss asked me to do a bathroom cabinet. I did two whole bathrooms in less than 5 minutes. I got rid of 8 items - sun creams and eczema creams and a dirty toiletries bag. Dd1 had 6 toothbrushes so I will declutter those with her later and dd2 had 3 shower puffs and I know she doesn’t use them. So I will declutter with her later. my own list told me to do bedding. I plan for dds to own two sets of bedding and I own 3 but I know they have 3/4 each so at the weekend I’ll ask them to get rid of 1 or 2. They have complained some are rough on their skin. I am getting rid of an old blanket.

So total items out is 9 today.

total this year 124

I cleared out my baking cupboard yesterday and thinned out a lot of things which were all collected this morn by someone - great to get all that out. Also posted a parcel to Vinted, and did the latest Orjenise task of stationery - not in depth but I found 7 bits to get rid of.

My total so far this year is 157.

Does anyone know of another app like Toss? I really want to try it but doesn't seem to be available for the latest versions of Android any more

Only small outs really.
Got rid of all the soft plastics on Tuesday; finished a handcream; used a sample size moisturiser up; cut an old towel into cloth size pieces and took them to where I volunteer.
One of my friends got me something for Christmas which really isn't my thing so I've listed it on Vinted. I feel bad but I need to change my thoughts around keeping things just because so and so gave me it.

Lots of you have been through so much but it's really empowering to read these stories of everyone taking care of themselves 🥰

@stealthninjamum I love that you're going back round and still finding bits but how it's so much quicker. I've done all of the upstairs now apart from one cupboard and even though it gets messy it only takes about 15 mins to tidy up now because everything has a place, unlike downstairs which is way longer, but once I'm done with downstairs I think I'll go back round for any extra bits :)