Flying through August & the summer holidays with Flylady!

[BloomingHazel]

Welcome to this long running thread, we may seem clicky, but all are welcome to join in!

Do NOT sign up for the Flylady emails - it's an excessive amount sent every day.

There are Baby Steps for starting out, add one thing at a time to start good habits and routines.

There are 5 zones that we will rotate through, don't worry about finishing it all this month, it'll come around again next month! Flylady is NOT about perfectionism!

Habit of the month of August is Laundry

Daily missions: each day of the week has a different mission.

• Monday: Home Blessing (or as we call it, home bleugh)
• Tuesday: plan & play
• Wednesday: anti-procrastination
• Thursday: errand day
• Friday: clean car & purse out and date night (what's that again?? 🤔)
• Saturday: family fun day
• Sunday: renew your spirit

Common acronyms we use:

• LOL: load of laundry (washing is certainly NOT funny!)
• DW: dishwasher, we are not rotating wives by any means, although an extra pair of hands could come in handy sometimes 😆
• LMS: lose/lost my shit
• DNLMS: did not lose my shit

I'm sure there's more I haven't mentioned, feel free to ask us to explain something. I'll try to update links every day, although if you can, it's worth downloading the app, you can even have it send you notifications (although I only have it for when the zones change).

As a side note, this is my first time leading this thread, please be patient with me if I miss something. We really are a friendly bunch!
Links are below 👇 if I happen to not add links in time, they do update at midnight for you.

Launch Pad: www.flylady.net/d/new-links/

Zones: www.flylady.net/d/zones/

Baby Steps: www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/

Cherry I'm assuming he didn't want the Ragu & meatballs that you were cooking? He sounds like a twat as well!
THAT does he feel the same way re separating? Or would that be a fight as well? We are here for you if you need to vent!

@THATissoooFETCH I appreciate the logistics must be very daunting, but these problems aren't short term, his behaviour has been noted on this thread over several years. Do you have any family support?

blooming he will think i am unreasonable i am sure

ed i do have some very good family support when i am ready to reach out for it

I just need to stick to my decision. We have reached this point a few times this year. I think emotionally ive been done for a while. We generally patch things up because he is sorry and i cant be arsed

@BloomingHazel he's gone out to the pub, said he'll be back by 7.30, which means anywhere after 8pm. He knows I struggle with cooking, and I won't stand for him rocking up whenever like a teenager late for dinner.
So everything will be ready at 8, and if he's not back by the time I've finished eating it will be in the freezer.
@THATissoooFETCH we're at crisis stage, but I get the can't be arsed feeling too. He does help me in so many ways, he's hopeless with money but he does do maintenance, so saves me in that respect. It's my house and no children together, so haven't got all that upheaval, it must be really hard for you 💐

Cherry i kinda envy you there! We own our house jointly. When we get around to having any form of conversation about it all i will suggest getting someone in to value it. This however likely wont be for days. He will just be on one now. Living like hes 18 and carefree 🙄

Anyway. The dc are all fed. I had caught up on all the washing. But then two of the smallest threw up, one on their bed. So now i need to deal with that!

Cherry and That, I am going to join you in the 'non-appreciation society of manchild 'D'H' club. We tend to just grumble along, and it comes to a head every now and again. Last time I even went as far as getting details of a lawyer, but we patched things up and carried on. Lo and behold, I am approaching that point again. Every time though, I always find an excuse of why I am not happy with him. In the past it was stressful period at work, moving house, my latest excuse is immediate post partum and wild hormones. He is communicating in grumps, gets annoyed at toddler for the slightest of things, endless moaning about everything and spends his day in his phone. I can't even talk to him properly, which is sad. I worry that I am the problem, surely if I was interesting enough communication would be better? I don't know.

That's probably why I am dragging my heels a bit over buying a house (waiting to see what the market does). I'd be devastated if he would go for 50:50 with DCs if we separate. Anyhow, on that cheerful note...

Ta das:
✍️Kitchen cupboard fronts wiped
✍️Hoover high traffic areas
✍️Kitchen surfaces cleaned
✍️DW rotated

Really need to sort out fishtanks tomorrow.

Cherry I like your plan, especially as he knows when it'll be ready.
THAT I hope your DC feel better soon! I suspected he wouldn't agree with you. It sounds like in the long run it would be better for you and the DC, you would be happier and they would sense that difference in you. But that would be a tough decision to make and can be scary to do it alone (although you wouldn't be alone with support on here & in RL) 💐

I worry that I am the problem, surely if I was interesting enough communication would be better? I don't know.

I do. Seriously Elf, you fail at having a two-way conversation all by yourself and you think you're the problem? I know people have to work to their strengths and to an extent we all step up to cover our DP's weaknesses (and they ours) but what are you supposed to do here? You can't develop a second personality to cover for him! You don't exist to be entertaining for him, you're not a performing monkey 🐒

Although if you swapped him for a performing monkey you might have more fun and get more help with DC, the housework and everything else he doesn't do 🤔

OMG Cherry what a sabotaging knob he is! Everyone would struggle with cooking with a dickhead in the way. Nothing quite like a bit of angry housework for calming the nerves though. Bet you scrubbed that sink imagining it was his face didn't you 👻

They always think others are unreasonable for not putting up with their nonsense, THAT. If you ever decide you can be arsed, I can assure you the taste of freedom is sweet. Stepping out from under the cloud ☁️⛈️🌦️⛈️☁️ of the atmosphere they create is like stepping into a warm sunbeam on a chilly day 🌥️⛅🌤️☀️ and feeling yourself smile

That's seriously scary your ceiling came down Hills I hope nobody was hurt and repairs are progressing well

My time is more valuable

I need to remember that when it comes to certain things Sing. You're on 🔥 today with that ta-da list

Wish I was chilling with a drink in the garden today Hazel 🥂🍾

I'm panicking a bit with decluttering. I've got nowhere to put books. Mainly because I have too much other shite. Having no shelves isn't helping though. I'm at the "making everything more messy before it gets better" stage and just looking at it all is giving me palpitations 🥴

Elf you are certainly not the problem, he really needs to make more effort. You are worth more than the way he is treating you. That's the same for Cherry & THAT you are valuable and not being treated with the respect and love that you deserve.
DH & I are snapping at each other, which we never used to do. But I recognise that it's the stress we are under from the fire. I'm hoping that'll calm down sooner rather than later.

YesTaDas (Saturday):
🌻 went shopping in next big town and spent so much money, but we had to replace both TVs and get DS some clothes for school
🌻 put everything away, including getting the chicken ready and put in freezers
🌻 handwashed dishes & put them away
🌻 had ILs over for dinner
🌻 rotated DW
🌻 watered plants outside, they are all looking sad and in need of some TLC

I have failed on links so far this weekend, I'm sorry. It's late here now so it'll have to wait until morning 😴

Morning you lovely lot, what a shame such a lot of us have man issues

I really want this to be it. I just have to stay strong when the appologising begins ..... he slept downstairs again

Hazel did you have a fire at your house? That is terrifying 😫

Well DP surprised me and came home at 7.40, cooked the pasta and plated up the dinner.
And then went to bed so he didn't annoy me by snoring on the sofa.
I might need a sandwich next time he's cooking. This will go one of two ways. He'll pretend it doesn't bother him. Or say I'm doing it to get at him, and that's far worse than what he does, as he simply wants a sandwich and isn't doing it on purpose to annoy me.

Anyway, so many ToDo's I'm spoilt for choice 😅
Maybe today's the day I finally use my Vax. Or put my laundry away. Or start digging the patio up 😅

That good to see you, but I’m sorry about the circumstances 💐 you have been managing (even studying too!) without his help for a long time, I suspect it really will be easier without him in the way. But of course it is daunting having to sort the finances etc. We are here cheering you on!

I’m also sorry there’s such a lot of NonDHes around on the thread! All the more reason for our naughty corner, no men allowed.

YesTaDa
🔰put dryer on again as stuff from previous day wasn’t dry
🔰moved last night’s LOL into dryer
🔰sorted one of DS’ birthday presents
🔰collected a bit of Lego that can be just for Cagletini, it’s now in a bag as I want to sort more soon and then wash it in one go
🔰found a suitable basket for Cagletini’s dinosaurs and got her to choose a shelf for it
🔰put Cagletini to bed
🔰kept food diary

Not such a good day but oh well. DH is out today, I will potter about organising I think.

po3.1
❗️Breakfast
❗️Finish tesco order as I managed to book a slot for this evening
❗️Make a decision on what will be stored in the big Kallax in DC2&3’s room, and order the baskets and clear luggage tags

Hi sing hows the OU going? Your right i have been managing for a long time and life would be easier without him. Its just the drama of actually getting rid which is urgh!

THAT I do hope you have the strength to keep going, without him.
Yes, we did have a house fire. The fence, shed and all the contents were destroyed, but the fire made it into the roof of the house, and we got smoke damage throughout the inside of the house. One room is completely unusable right at the moment, no ceiling, hole to the outside that's been covered by plastic. No work has started yet, I'd be surprised if anything does start before September. The fire happened the end of June 😪

Cherry that's shocking! Is it possibly he had told someone down the pub what happened and they told him what a prick he was being!

In my man news, we just had a discussion about the brick.. so they need to rebuild the one wall that was affected by the fire. Heat damage means it needs to be rebuilt. Our adjuster wants the whole house rebricked, but we agreed on just the one wall. It probably will not match. I told DH this morning, if it's too noticeable, I want to have them stain the whole house. He doesn't think it's necessary, but I put my foot down and said that's what I would like done. That would need to be done before the shed is rebuilt though, as it's attached to the house.
He's gone off in a huff to throw away our old TVs, which I think he would struggle with (one is really heavy) but said he didn't need help 🤦‍♀️

I'm currently sitting on my garden swing, drinking my coffee, debating on what I want to do first today!

Sing you are right about the naughty corner! I've stocked up naughty corner with a full bar, other non-alcoholic drinks available also, it's got a swing, lots of cushions and blankets, and there's a pool for if you get too hot! No men allowed!

TaDa's
Went into town, filled up with diesel.
I bought a Pink scrubby thing which packed up after 30 seconds, so swapped that for another one.
Went shopping, bought a marrow which I've been craving for ages 😋
Came home and ate loads.

Cherry Pink scrubby thing is that magic sponge thingy? The one that removes marks from pretty much anything?
Hazel the delay sounds long. Hopefully they will be able to fix holes before weather gets cold. And re huffy man, well, let him struggle with TV. Physical effort tends to cure huffiness 😛
THAT hope your littles are feeling better, and that you don't catch it whatever lurgy they've got.
Hills how are you feeling?

Ta das:
🐟All 3 fishtanks sorted
🐟Finally caught up with laundry - all dry put away, two other LOLs out to dry.
🐟Some beds stripped and remade. The rest will do tomorrow.
🐟Usual kitchen clean up and DW rotation after cooking
🐟Bleached baby bath
🐟Managed to keep two little humans alive, fed, and entertained

I really need to sort out my nails. Hopefully will get a chance to do mani tomorrow or Tuesday.

Cherry marrow sounds so good right now!
Elf I'm thinking he's probably happier now, thankfully. He went out with his friend with the dirt bike they have been working on. He'll be back soon, then I'll go with him through the car wash and we'll vacuum the new pickup. I need to detail it, they said they would, but didn't. It's gross, so needs to be done. Hopefully you can get your nails done tomorrow.

Ta Das:
🌻 finally sorted outside plants out (deadhead and clean up)
🌻 swept the patio
🌻 watered my plants
🌻 pulled weeds in the back garden
🌻 sprayed weeds around the whole house
🌻 showered, scrubbed, shaved & applied self tanner

To do:
🛻 clean, vacuum & detail new pickup
🛻 eat dinner
🛻 relax!

@DomesticElf it's one of these.

But when I got the replacement home that one didn't work either.
Until DP put the batteries in the right way round 🤒😅 whoops!

Monday starts in zone 3 the bathroom and one other room. This should be a room that needs decluttering the most.

Mission do the 27 fling boogie. Set your timer for 15 minutes and declutter 27 items in the other room. In the bathroom, clear the hotspots that have appeared.

Monday is also the day for the home bleugh as we like to call it, quickly run the vacuum through, empty bins, change the sheets, you know, everything that actually takes longer than an hour to do! I usually end up doing that on Tuesdays, but that's because I don't work that day, so it works best for me. If you need to change up the days, so be it!

Baby step is to go into the flylady website to learn about how to use a calendar https://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/day-14/
Zones: Zones: https://www.flylady.net/d/zones/

Morning 🌄 everyone 👋
I'm off for my pre-op in preparation for my third hand surgery, DP offered to do the horses for me so I didn't have to get up even earlier. Much as I moan he's a good egg when it's practical help I need.
Have a great day everyone.

That thank you, OU is going well - finished second module last term and got distinction 🥳 actually really need to sort out my next module now. I also bought a desk (not built yet as we are prioritising the Caglets’ rooms) as it was ridiculous that I was doing all my studying AND working 16h weekly without one. Using a laptop on the bed/sofa is not good for posture!

Cherry my DH is better with the immediate practical stuff too - better than I am actually. It’s the other longer term stuff (and due to his own issues, the emotional stuff) that he struggles with, although he’s made an effort recently - hoping that’ll last once term-time chaos sets back in.

Glad you got your marrow 😁 I wish my food cravings were so healthy, it’s usually sugary things for me. I remember years ago we were given a marrow and toddler DS carried it round all day like it was a favourite teddy 🥺🤣

YesTaDa
🌿towel LOL
🌿ordered Tesco
🌿sorted more Lego for Cagletini
🌿ordered baskets and clear luggage tags for Cagletini’s clothes (currently stored in our room so this is exciting!)
🌿did most of Cagletini’s puzzles (some with her 🤣) checking all pieces and mending boxes, then fitting them into one of her new shelves
🌿towels in dryer
🌿regular LOL

TBH the sorting I did probably wasn’t the biggest priority, and maybe the books weren’t either the other day, but it is waaaaay too hard actually decluttering with the family around. DH is taking the Caglets out on Wednesday so I can power through collecting stuff to bag up (🤞 for good weather!) - I’ve been adding to my list of stuff I can just go and grab. But anyway, I’m glad I have sorted her some toys for her bed shelves (it’s a “mid” sleeper but pretty low really, just has some shelves and drawers underneath with a very cute little ladder). As she’s finally got nice floor space she’s playing with the stuff I’ve put there and it’s easy to put it back (along with books after bedtime now they’re all sorted), which is giving us more practice at keeping things tidy (doesn’t come naturally to ANY of us).

I’ve been finding decluttering videos really inspiring and reassuring. My favourite three are Minimal Mom, Clutterbug and A Slob Comes Clean. Eg the latter’s “container concept” really helped with the jigsaws. To my surprise not a single puzzle I sorted yesterday had a missing piece, which would’ve made it so much easier to reduce the collection. Why get rid of perfectly good ones? 😩 BUT having decided that there would be ONE shelf for puzzles, I “let the container be the bad guy” (resisting temptation to adjust the shelf size!) and that somehow made it easier to choose a few we can donate - ones that just aren’t as nice or are a bit too easy. It also means I will stop looking for bargains in charity shops and I won’t buy her any for birthday/Christmas this year. I have also had some nice puzzles with more pieces set aside in my room for ages, I need to put them in one box but again having the designated shelf ready means I won’t then buy more unless I decide some of the current stash can go!

po3.1
❗️Breakfast
❗️Move last night’s LOL into dryer
❗️Phone OU

@SingToTheSky not often I get healthy cravings, currently sat in McD's having a breakfast 😋