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Original poster

My stuff has taken over our house and DP hates it

74 replies

TheBeesKnee · 23/06/2023 18:33

DP is a minimalist and I am a maximalist hoarder, apparently.

I've chosen all the furniture and decorations and the bookcases are full of my books and our storage cabinets are full of my hobby things that I want to get round to but don't have time - I have a new baby and if I was honest with myself I'd have to accept that I will probably not use those supplies ever again. But I'd like to and getting rid of everything feels like accepting I'll never have fun again?!

DP is complaining about all the stuff everywhere and how there's no room for anything and I don't know what to do. I feel very stuck.

Any help or advice? Sad

OP posts:
pastabest · 23/06/2023 18:37

What is the hobby?

Eyesopenwideawake · 23/06/2023 18:39

Box everything up and store it until you're able to restart it?

Whenwillitallmakesense · 23/06/2023 18:40

Compromise, clear out all your stuff that you know you won't get around yo using anytime in next, say, 6-12 months and put them in storage. This could be in loft, basement, garage or renting a suitably sized storage unit. Then they'll always be accessible when you feel the urge to take up your hobbies again but are not cluttering up the place whilst you have no use for them. Then if you've not used them withing that time frame, plan to sell them on or give to charity

SirChenjins · 23/06/2023 18:40

Box it up and put it out of the way.

EvenmoreDisorganised · 23/06/2023 18:42

You will have fun again but maybe not with the same stuff. Can you maybe get rid of some books and use a kindle instead? If the hobby stuff is inexpensive then maybe try telling yourself it would be better to give it away so someone else can make use of it, then when you do have time again you can start afresh? Perhaps keep equipment but not materials?

Noicant · 23/06/2023 18:43

Box it up now, as your baby gets bigger their stuff will take over your home, so may as well make space now.

MerryChristmasToYou · 23/06/2023 18:46

Box up your DH and pop him in the shed. Job done.

MerryChristmasToYou · 23/06/2023 18:51

Seriously, keep a tiny project that you can finish, and put the rest into storage/sell/donate.

Babies tend to have a lot of stuff, and take up a lot of time and energy.

Pringleface · 23/06/2023 18:56

MerryChristmasToYou · 23/06/2023 18:46

Box up your DH and pop him in the shed. Job done.

I don’t think that’s helpful or fair.

There needs to be a compromise between the OP still having her stuff and not feeling as though losing her identity and it not cluttering up the whole house or taking up all storage space.

@TheBeesKnee Can you review your hobby stuff a bit at a time and keep back a few small things that you can realistically do with a baby around and ask DP to help you box the rest up and store it away somewhere? That way, you still have it but it’s not getting in the way and you can pick it up again when you have more time.

If you do it in sections, it will feel less overwhelming hopefully.

MrsElsa · 23/06/2023 18:59

What does he mean "all over the place" and what does he mean "no room for anything else" ?

It sounds like your stuff is neatly organised, out of the way. And what is this "anything else" he wants space for?

It's your home too and presumably you have been paying the mgage too so he doesn't get to dictate

OhComeOnFFS · 23/06/2023 19:01

What does he mean "all over the place" and what does he mean "no room for anything else"?

What do you think that means?!

mewkins · 23/06/2023 19:05

OhComeOnFFS · 23/06/2023 19:01

What does he mean "all over the place" and what does he mean "no room for anything else"?

What do you think that means?!

To minimalists it could mean that the stuff is hidden out of the way in storage cupboards but just knowing it's there is bugging him. Or it could mean it is lying about all over the place. I suspect the former.

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 23/06/2023 19:13

pastabest · 23/06/2023 18:37

What is the hobby?

Mostly arty stuff, canvases, paints, various media. Some textile things like embroidery.

OP posts:
dickheed · 23/06/2023 19:27

Is all your hobby stuff in storage units or is it spilling out?
Or is he complaining because the hobby stuff is in the units which means there is no room for other stuff in there so everything else ends up lying around?
Or does he just want no stuff anywhere, even in cupboards, because he's a minimalist?

BestZebbie · 23/06/2023 19:50

You could try getting fairly plain doors on the front of all your bookcases and shelving, that reduces the visual impact of having lots of objects in view at all times (obviously easier if your furniture is IKEA than vintage). Box up hobby stuff you won't be needing soon in clearly labelled boxes and put them under a bed/in the loft (it is still reasonable to have a small selection "to hand" as you are still allowed some personal possessions whatever).

Also, before the baby comes, buy a large quantity of A4 sized fairly deep baskets and prepare to have one in each room for the zillion baby-sized items that accompany having a baby, so you can just sweep everything loose into the closest basket constantly throughout the day.

BestZebbie · 23/06/2023 19:51

(I see the baby has already come, but I still suggest baskets it is the baby stuff now tipping him over the edge - if you bought most it and use it most, maybe on some level he thinks all the baby's stuff is "yours" too?)

lunar1 · 23/06/2023 19:52

Does he have any space that isn't cluttered?

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 23/06/2023 22:37

Are you being honest (with yourself) s out how much stuff you’ve filled the house with?

SwordToFlamethrower · 23/06/2023 23:13

DO NOT get rid of that! This is all excellent stuff you can teach to your child when they are old enough! What a joy it will be to teah painting and embriodery. DO NOT get rid!!!!

CornedBeef451 · 23/06/2023 23:41

I think it depends on how much stuff there is and realistically, will you actually use it?

I have kept yarn and bits and pieces for crocheting as I do actually do that, but got rid of various other things I'd tried but hadn't stuck.

You have a baby now. In the near future, say in the next year, will you realistically use these things?

It's ok to keep your favourite things and get rid of the rest. You can re-buy in 5-10 years when you might have more time again, and you might fancy trying something different.

Mothwingdust · 24/06/2023 01:44

I have one cupboard with various sewing and craft stuff in and my sewing machine is in another cupboard. My friend has hobby stuff in cupboards, on shelves, in bags scattered about it does look really messy.

Gingernaut · 24/06/2023 02:38

Be honest with yourself

You're never getting round to most of the hobby and craft stuff you've bought

Get rid of anything you haven't opened, consolidate everything else and stop buying stuff

mathanxiety · 24/06/2023 05:30

Has your husband's issue with the 'stuff' arisen since the arrival of the baby? If it has been ongoing for a while, has it ramped up since the baby arrived?

If the answer to either question is Yes, then I'm going to suggest the problem is baby-related anxiety on the part of your H.

If it has been an issue for a while and there hasn't been any change since the baby arrived, maybe tell him now isn't the time to tackle you about it all the same. You're both tired, and you have a lot on your plates already with the baby.

There will be time to have a realistic conversation about it when the baby is sleeping through and you in particular will have a chance to recover from the exhaustion of childbirth followed by the sleeplessness thst comes with ha ing a baby.

Hollyppp · 24/06/2023 06:00

I feel a bit for DH, a house full of stuff when you have a baby just makes life more difficult when you are tripping over stuff.

can you put hobby stuff in a loft, garage or in boxes at your parents or in laws house?

GoodChat · 24/06/2023 06:06

Sell the hobby stuff that you're not going to use. Set the money aside to treat yourself.

Are your books organised nicely?

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