Complete house declutter - feeling overwhelmed

[foodiemum80]

Looking for some help and tips as to how to approach a complete house declutter please as I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I've never been a tidy person unfortunately but my husband left last year and the house just seems to have swallowed me up and gotten out of control. That, together with my messy mind is due tipping me over the edge. There is literally stuff everywhere. I have sweats about people coming to visit unannounced.

I'm taking a week off work soon and have organised a skip. I just don't know where to start. I've got my young kids on board and they are ready to help. Can anyone give me some advice?

Absolutely get and read Marie Kondo's book - the life changing magic of tidying up. You sort things by category and really work out what you need to keep. Really works.

I'm no expert, but I would recommend getting a stash of boxes, bin bags and strong bags etc to stash stuff to donate. Bins bags for rubbish. If you have a car, have somewhere to drive and donate/tip the stuff. Once you start getting rid of stuff, you gather momentum.

If you have one room you can trash, use that for temporary storage and keep everywhere else tidy, especially the rooms you use. If you don't drive, get someone else ready to move it for you, or sort a shed/garage ... if none of those available, think about where you will put what needs to leave the house.

Then just do it!

I found it helped to pack things into boxes at first so I could gather the same types of things together before sorting them.

When I frozen completely because my house was full of my mum's stuff, 2 friends helped me clear and organise my desk. Once that was done and I had one tidy corner, it got easier.

I haven't ever done the Marie Kondo so her version might be better. But I would focus on one small area at a time. A complete set of shelves, a cupboard. Then move on to another area in the same room.

You may need to call a good friend who can be brutally honest with you if you find it hard to declutter.

Aim to declutter and tidy. Not clean. Not yet.

Touch things the fewest times possible.

Have a mantra - rubbish, recycle, relocate, donate. Everything belongs in one of those categories. Carry a thick bin bag around the house with you. This is no time to skimp and save and have a bin bag burst. The bin bag is for rubbish. Another bag or a cardboard box for recycling. And a laundry basket or box for relocate items. Those are things you want to keep but they belong in another place or another room. And another laundry basket or box for donations.

Start in the far corner of the room away from the door and work toward the door.

When the donations basket or box is full, put in the boot of the car. Be honest though about what will and won’t be sold on at a charity shop. And if you have a lot of stuff be ruthless and accept that somethings are just going in the skip for ease. There is nothing wrong with that in a big clearout.

Watch space invaders for inspiration!

Good luck!

Honestly, if you have a skip, don't complicate things by sorting into piles to recycle, donate, etc.

Just fill up the skip and be done with all the stuff you don't want or need any more.

Charities can barely cope as it is with a fraction of what is donated. You're just kicking the can down the road, offloading your keep/ dump decisions on the charity instead of making them yourself.

Start with your kitchen.
If you haven't used cake / pie pans, utensils, or plastic storage items in the last 6 months, dump them.
Also, get rid of things that are broken, cracked, rusty, blunt, etc.
Go through your sauces, herbs, and spices and dump everything that's out of date.
Go through your tinned foods and stuff like pasta, ride, dried beans - anything close to expiry or beyond, dump.
Go through your cleaning supplies - dump all but the bare minimum. Dump all cloths that are literally rags.
Dump all your extra mugs / novelty stuff.
Dump all novelty items, souvenirs from Butlins or wherever.
Dump all broken appliances.
Drawer full of bits and bobs that might come in handy - empty and dump all bits and bobs.

Next up, bathroom:
Dump all rarely used cleaning supplies and bottles with very little left in them. Keep the minimum, only what you know you'll use.
Dump all shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, and other toiletry products that have less than an inch or very little left in them. Dump all little slivers of soap.
Check your towels, washcloths, and bathmats - get rid of all that are worn, threadbare, stained.

Your hall:
Sort through the family's coats and jackets, hoodies, tracksuit tops, etc. Make decisions based on what you truly need. Be ruthless.
Same goes for hats, scarves, gloves.
Ditto footwear. Get rid of items that are worn, down at heel, in poor shape, uncomfortable.
Throw out old/ broken umbrellas, tote bags, etc, that you don't use. Keep the minimum. Check stuff like skates, bats, balls - do the kids want to keep them...

Dining room/ sitting room:
Anything that's broken, stained, or that you haven't used for a while. Knick knacks you're tired of dusting, that don't mean anything to you. Anything you just plain don't like... Dump.
Candles and other decor you don't like/ want - dump.

Bedrooms:
The main offender here is usually too many clothes and too much spare bedding.
If there are clothes you're keeping for yourself 'for when you lose weight', dump.
If there are clothes you haven't worn for 12 months, dump.
Clothes your children have grown out of and can't be passed down - dump.
Children's clothes that are holey, very stained, anything that likely won't be worn again, dump.
More than two sets of sheets/ duvet covers, pillow slips per bed - dump.
Old, grungy pillows - dump.
Make up - sort through. Only keep what you love and need.
Perfumes - same.
Jewelery - same.

Toys: the children can help decide what stays and what goes. Err on the side of caution where toys are concerned. Children can get upset when they realise the finality of a clean out and it's too late to get their stuff back.
All the same, there might be a good deal of junk, little items from happy meals, small pieces of tat, and they take up space.

May or may not apply -
Books:
Keep children's books if there's any doubt.
If you have a lot of books, maybe dump books you've read, books you've started but didn't keep reading, books you know you'll never get around to reading, amything you can get via Kindle.
( I personally can't imagine ever getting rid of books and I'm not a regular Kindle user.)

Old cords, chargers, electronics no longer used, incl old phones - you may need to find a special electronics collection facility. Don't get rid of anything that ever had personal/ financial information on it without getting it properly wiped first.

Craft supplies:
Any stash of yarn, fabric, patterns, collage supplies, beads, paints, brushes, embroidery threads, etc - decide what's reasonable to keep.

Take a photo of each room before you start. Take one when you're finished. Compare and contrast.

When the DCs are in bed tonight, sit down and get inspired by some YouTube cleaning/ clearing videos.

Have you heard of "A Slob Comes Clean?" - it's an American website, but the woman who designed it suffered from EXACTLY the kind of over-whelming situation you are in. It's a very practical way to approach decluttering even in really difficult situations. You can do this!

I haven't ever done the Marie Kondo so her version might be better. But I would focus on one small area at a time. A complete set of shelves, a cupboard. Then move on to another area in the same room.

This is what I'm doing. One area at a time.

When the DCs are in bed tonight, sit down and get inspired by some YouTube cleaning/ clearing videos.

LOL. I'd rather settle into Netflix..... or a good documentary.

But I get what you're saying. You can always pick up good ideas from them.

Marie Kondo method involves a load of pfaffing around. You have ordered your skip so just start in the worst room and chuck it all in unless it is sth you have used in the last 3 months or has sentimental value. Kondo's method of putting all your clothes in a big pile would likely make you feel worse. Handle each item once and either bin in the skip, keep or donate. Good luck skip hire doesn't come cheap so make the most of it.

Let us know how you get on , I'm really excited for you I hope you get rid of lots of stuff and feel amazing after it all . I'd love a skip if chick lots out I have cupboards full needing stuff chucked away too . Good luck and enjoy!

This is a brilliant list mathanxiety I have saved it to help when I decide to make a start on mine!

I recently did this for my mum as she became overwhelmed with it herself - just one room, but it took a few hours over two sessions.
My advice would be to categorise, so anything that "goes together" is grouped up. For example, pile up tools in one area, kids toys in another area, clothes somewhere else, etc.
Once everything is grouped together, then you can work out where you'd actually like to put it and put everything away neatly.
Also, have lots of bin bags ready and be ruthless!! Put some music on and try to enjoy getting stuck in

If I had a skip and a really messed up house, I'd play a game. I'd get big boxes and pretend I was moving house to start a new minimalist lifestyle. Box up everything I wanted to keep, so the favourites, the essentials and the sentimental. In the meantime while you wait for the skip to arrive you've got all the other things to use. Either you'll rediscover why you love them and add them to the keeps boxes. Or you'll remember why you hate them and be happy to skip them. Don't bother with laundry or washing up unless you're keeping it (or donating it, if you're doing that too). Then when the skip comes everything that's not in the keeps boxes goes in the skip (or to donate).

My go to is;

1. start in the room closest to the skip and work backwards then you're not carrying rubbish over rubbish.

2. divide each room into zones (a surface/a corner/a piece of furniture with stuff in it). Complete a zone move on. Complete a room, move on.

3. sort into three boxes/piles: rubbish, recycling, donate.

I know there's much recommendation for Mary kondos book. But if youre not in the headspace for reading. I recommend getting in inspired by Stacey Solomon's sort your life out on BBC iPlayer.

Oh my goodness, just woke up to all these messages, thank you so much! I'm not really in the heads pace for reading books but I will definitely watch some of the videos/programmes you have recommended. @mamathanxiety I think you're method is closest to what I need to do. Be absolutely ruthless and try and get my life back a bit.

Before you start watch The Minimalists one night on Netflix. It’s only about an hour and it will really get you in the frame of mind to get rid of stuff you don’t need in your life!

You'll have the motivation too of needing to fill the skip before the collection date, so no time for faffing.

Make sure you have a policy of only touching an item once. Pick it up, decide what you're going to do with it, do it. Go round the room methodically. You might need some packing boxes for stuff you want to keep but can't put back because you're trying to clear what was behind/underneath them.

Good luck, you will feel so much better when it's done.

Having actually done the Marie Kondo method and lived with it for 6 years I can recommend - even if you do have the added pressure of a skip. We got rid of about 60% of our belongings and it's transformed living here. My whole family embraced it when they could start to see the results.

In summary:
Have a vision of how you want your home to be and feel

Start with the easy stuff - there is an order that's tried and tested to work psychologically, and with what you are facing this is important. I've attached a checklist, but again in summary

• obvious rubbish
• clothes (how many T-shirts ?????) . Be ruthless and honest about what you fit in, feel good in and actually wear
• books (yes, gather all in one place. Sold loads and made ££££)
• paperwork (staggering how much shit you keep )
• dvds/Cds (sold mine and made £200)
• toys
• electronics (we had over 20 old phones and a massive table of cables, we now have a single small, well organised drawer)
• cleaning stuff (millions of duplicates )
• kitchen (useless appliances, chipped mugs galore)
• bedding and towels
• misc (the junk drawer, the bits and pieces)

Power of the pile - gather EVERYTHING of one type together from all over the house. And then sort it. Keep the things you love or are essential to your way of living. It seems mad but totally works and makes you more ruthless. It actually makes you feel a bit sick when you see the excess.

IMMEDIATELY get the discards out of the house - either into the skip, or sell/donate

ORGANISE - only when you have got rid of everything can you do the final 'what goes where'. You might have intermediate stages where you put something then change it. That's fine.

IT GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER - it's hard to live through. If you can designate a sorting space, do it. Be prepared for the 'oh god what have I done to my house?' Phase.

GET HELP - the family should ideally sort their own stuff. Kids will need help. Get a friend to help you with clothes to get you started.

I can't stress enough how different this is to sorting by room, where you often end up with just a tidier mess and duplicates all over the place and then you degenerate from there. Kondo is a lasting change for the better.

We now have more money too - we found load in the form of gift cards and actual cash, plus we only buy what we need now (eg batteries) because we know exactly where they are and what we have. Ditto clothes and cleaning products. Saves so much £

www.google.com/search?q=marie+kondo+checklist&rlz=1C9BKJA_enGB857GB863&oq=marie+kondo+che&aqs=chrome.0.0i512j69i57j0i512j0i22i30l3.6024j0j4&hl=en-GB&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=NjAPUYyCcETEpM

How thoroughly exciting!

1. Trash out of all rooms, including in the bins.
2. Kitchenware to kitchen.
3. Clothes to laundry place.
4. Put on the first wash. Keep going from there as machines are ready.
5. Do all kitchenware washing up.
6. Then do each room as follow, starting with the rooms you spend most time in:

• put everything that DOESN'T belong in the room in one place.
• put everything that does belong in the room in its place.
• leave the pile of doesn't belong there, but make sure it's safe from being disturbed (cats? Kids?). In a washing basket maybe. Or 6 washing baskets, if necessary.
• go to the next room. follow the steps above.
• when you are done, get all the stuff in the "doesn't belong pile" that lives in the all-ready tidy room, and put it where it lives.
• continue with the next rooms.

1. At the end you are left with only stuff that doesn't have a home:

• ask yourself: if I were looking for this, where is the first place I would look? That's where it should live. If you wouldn't look for it, are you sure you should keep it at all?

1. THEN if you want you can start decluttering.

• stuff in bad shape goes out first.
• then doubles.

After this, I guess Marie Kondo or insta or whatever.

The rule for me for bringing order is: your number 1 task is to not make things worse. So you can stop whenever life happens and the house will not be worse. So putting all the stuff that doesn't belong in a room, in a basket in that room? Not worse than before. Heaping all your clothes on your bed MarieKondo style? Definitely worse, I would never do that. Heaven knows a kid would distract me and four weeks later all the clothes are still piled up next to my bed...

Definitely don’t try to do it by area or by room. You just end up moving the mess. Better to take a more holistic approach as PP have said.

Brilliant advice!!!

@foodiemum80 ive been doing a long slow declutter (one thing a day threads on here) well done on deciding to go for it. I found the Dana K White book useful - same lady as the Slob comes clean podcast. Her method doesnt involve pulling everything out at once which can make things much much worse before they get better. Sounds like even if all you do is get rid of obvious rubbish like broken toys etc you will be able to make a real difference in your week off. Good luck however you decide to go for it

I did a whole house declutter about 6 years ago and it changed how the house and I functioned.
Picking things out of a drawer of crap to throw out is hard, and negative. Start with the mindset "everything in this drawer is going the bin except..." then pick out the things you want to KEEP. That feels more postive and encourages you - at a certain point you'll feel ENOUGH, what's left DOES go in the bin.