Complete house declutter - feeling overwhelmed

[foodiemum80]

Looking for some help and tips as to how to approach a complete house declutter please as I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I've never been a tidy person unfortunately but my husband left last year and the house just seems to have swallowed me up and gotten out of control. That, together with my messy mind is due tipping me over the edge. There is literally stuff everywhere. I have sweats about people coming to visit unannounced.

I'm taking a week off work soon and have organised a skip. I just don't know where to start. I've got my young kids on board and they are ready to help. Can anyone give me some advice?

I was in this situation a few months ago. Twenty years of not clearing out and I was overwhelmed. I realised it was because of all the sorting that I felt I needed to do.

So… I got bin bags and put almost absolutely everything in them. If I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away, it stayed. I drove it all to the rubbish dump and chucked. Yeah - not everything got recycled. 2 car journeys and I’m clutter free. All in 2 days.

The end.

What would a good result look like for you? Maybe for each child 10 days worth of Summer clothes, 10 days worth of Winter clothes, one or two boxes full of toys, the amount of books that fit in the bookshelf and 2 sets of bedlinen? And in the kitchen, no more than 8 mugs, glasses, plates etc. 1 frypan, 3 saucepans etc.? "A place for everything and everything in its place".

As someone with a partner and two children all with ADHD, I was wondering if you have ADHD? I might be off with that, but my kids with ADHD definitely function best with less stuff to manage.

I like to set myself challenges with the number of black sacks i can fill. It makes it feel really satisfying if I get x bags more done today than yesterday

@mathanxiety like like like

Just reading this made me feel happy. I would aim for this OP . I'm not joking that my most favourite place is the dump. I love filling the car and driving away unburdened. I loved the list above as that is like heaven to me - my family are clingers on so I can't get rid of as much as I would like, but reading that list fills me with such joy!

Mathanxiety's list is great! I would add this more detailed breakdown for toys:

Anything too young for your kids - dump

Anything with broken pieces - dump

Duplicates (where you wouldn't use multiple at once, e.g. keep duplicate matchbox cars, farm animals) - keep one (per child?), dump the rest

Non-matching collections of things like farm fences, or stuff like Mega Bloks + duplo, or 2 different incompatible train sets - keep the one that works the best and you can buy more of - dump the rest

Anything where the pieces constantly get scattered and it can't be used without the pieces - consolidate all - keep a couple of the most loved items, dump the rest. Dump any that you can't find all the pieces of.

Stuff your kids want to play with but always get frustrated with or makes a mess you can't bear to clean up - dump.

Cuddly toys?? Dare I say it? My kids aren't attached to theirs so I cull quite regularly but if yours are, be more cautious.

Watch them playing - stuff that they typically chuck out of the box to get it out of the way and then abandon - dump.

Stuff they are interested in but then almost immediately abandon - dump.

Kits that need adult supervision - pare down to about 3. Dump the rest. Put them somewhere that you'll think about getting them out on a rainy day.

Pens that are run out - dump. Crayons that make a piffling pointless light mark that is vaguely reminiscient of a colour - dump. Keep the ones that are nice, deep, rich colours. Craft stuff to cut/stick etc - consolidate into one container, dump the rest. Encourage them to use it up!

Consolidate toys into containers by type of game - e.g. we have chunky toddler cars (and all people/street accessories), then toy food/utensils/shop stuff, then another for dolls/doctor kit/other adult role play stuff, one for tools, one for mega bloks, one for little tiny cars and same scale street accessories, one for animals, figures and fences. Put a picture on the front (badly drawn, googled, or take a photo) so even little kids can see and understand what kind of thing goes where.

Stuff that needs adult supervision/help AND stuff that has crucial parts which always get lost - put up out of easy reach so they can ask for it, then you know when it's out and can keep an eye that all the bits go back into it when it gets put away instead of just throwing it in any random toy box.

Toys are one thing that you might like to sell if they are complete sets, popular, and you can be bothered to deal with people. But if it causes stress - DUMP!!!! One tip for this if you have a skip is to put a box next to or at the top of the skip with "FREE" written in it and put the decent toys in there - people love a skip and will come and look and this saves the toys in pass-on-able condition from getting wrecked.

Just been revisting this thread as the skip arrives tomorrow! Not feeling particularly motivated but I only have a week so I need to get my act together. Will watch some of the recommended videos tonight. Wish me luck 🙈

@foodiemum80 get your first bagful ready tonight to go straight in. It will help you build momentum. Just one bag! then you will find your motivation easier to get going tomorrow. Good luck!

Yes start anywhere easiest! Sometimes when I’m overwhelmed I say improve one thing today - good luck, we’ll love to see photos or updates of the transformation!

I am drowning in stuff too, in my case
many half finished or never started projects I meant to do with the kids,
intend to get an idea, stock up, and then when way too much of one enthusiasm.

electronics and cables:
Pc world and curries will take them and have a recycling programme.

Woo best of luck!! I love a good declutter!!

I'd ditch Kondo and stick to A Slob Come Clean.

The first step is a bin bag and cardboard box for rubbish and easy donations. That sounds more like what you need than asking if something brings you joy.

I binge the podcasts while I declutter, it's very effective.

This is a very interesting way to look at it and helpful.

In our consumerist world we are encouraged to have more and the question isn't turned on its head.

I do this for kids clothes and assess what they actually need but not mine!

I also have ADHD and find less stuff much, MUCH easier to manage, but I never would have been able to go through like that and work out an exact number. I find Dana (slob comes clean)'s idea of a "clutter threshold" has been pretty life changing for me and her method of discovering the clutter threshold by starting with the container concept, also genius!

I could probably tell you my numbers for things at the end of the process but I never would start out knowing.

Minimalism doesn't appeal to me at all. I'm not a fan of empty spaces and clean lines. It just seems boring. I'm in a brilliant FB group all about "maximalist" decor, but there is definitely a difference between maximalism, which is still well-chosen and curated/intentional, and just keeping every random thing you've ever owned "just in case", which I'm totally guilty of!

mathsanxiety has given you some great advice.

My house got on top of me for a while when I was working long hours as a single parent (still am!). What I do now is set myself a limit, so I say that I will spend one hour tidying an area at the weekend, and set a timer for it. Every time, when the hour is up I want to carry on, but if you say to yourself at the beginning, I will spend 3 hours tidying then it is overwhelming and off putting.

Also now, every single day, I try to pick things up as I go , so if shopping is a bathroom item, put it straight into the bathroom, not leave it on the dining table to take through later (and forget). Every day pick a corner and tidy it, so one day I went through my make up and jewellery and then another I went through my wardrobe.

I have also made several hundred pounds selling toiletries, makeup , jewellery, clothes, books and toys on vinted which paid for a holiday last year.

I do pack stuff up for the charity shop and advertise things free on local facebook page so people will come to the house and take it away.

However, If you have a skip coming, then just throw it all in there. I hired a local person with a small car trailer to do a couple of tip runs for me as it was cheaper.

Good luck!

I'm terrible for holding onto things I don't need to at times so I have a rule when doing a clear out, if it hasn't been used/worn in the last year, it won't be in the next so it's goes in the bin. I struggled when I first started doing that, had to be brutal with myself and not get sentimental over 'stuff', but it's been great for me and now I'm much better at just clearing out stuff I don't use much sooner these days..
Good luck with your clear out. Just get cracking, if you feel too overwhelmed to start, just start with a power hour and see how you get on... 🤞🏻

One thing I remember from listening to the slob comes clean on another podcast was asking yourself just a few simple questions about where would this item live, if I do need this item where would I go to find it? So for example nail scissors you've found in the living room...they don't naturally live there so put it in the place you would go to first to find them. Also if you do want to keep stuff, which you will obviously then put it in the place it belongs straight away! Don't make piles to put away as you'll never do it!
Good luck
I'm hoping to tackle the kitchen this summer!

Day 1 going well so far. I have filled so many black bags. Trying to go with the mentality that I'm moving house and would I want to take it with me. It might come to that anyway!

Glad to hear you've managed to make a start. Keep up the good work.

I think sometimes it is easier to decide what to keep rather than what goes
my favourite 6-8 mugs , this set of plates and dishes, this set of cutlery i need 4 saucepans a frying pan i never use the breadmaker or yogurt maker
make the easy decisions first the definitely going and definitely staying, try and do all these in 2-3 days then as you have the skip for a week you have 3-4 days to decide on the harder maybe stuff. How much realistically needs to go half 30% 75%?
limit the amount you have by space available
you can only have the clothes that fit in your wardrobe and chest of drawers, only the shoes that fit in shoe rack
only the toiletries and makeup that fit in the cabinet
only the kitchen utensils that comfortable fit in the drawers, do you actually need 3 potato peelers
don't ask kids which toys they want to donate ask them to pick their 3, 5 10 favourite soft toys or whatever( what you realistically have room for), don't encourage collecting collections ( for your future sanity)
just because you wear all 7 coats doesn't mean you need 7 coats
think of your stuff as inventory you have to manage, every item you keep is something you need to clean, dust, iron have a place for
everything we own will be rubbish one day
Objects are to be used, they are not people. your grandmother's teaset is your grandmother's teaset it is not your grandmother or even the memory of your grandmother, the memories are in your head, if you feel bad just keep the milk jug or a single cup and saucer and display them but a whole set carefully packed under the bed is not remembering or honouring your grandmother use it every day or display one piece or give it away or sell it

Well done @foodiemum80 - I like the moving house logic

Storage is key - single mum of 4 in a 3 bed. Everything has a place to be tidied to. Every night before bed everything goes back to where it belongs and we 'reset' be brutal and get rid of anything not needed. More stuff means more mess.

General tidiness is something I struggle with and always have. I definitely need to try and address it once I've done this. Surfaces always seem to be covered with stuff. I don't know why I don't just put it away 🙈. I envy people who have lovely tidy houses.

It’s the mental effort - I have to make a mental effort to put things away in their right place, sometimes something more realistic like a weekly relocating session is a better goal. My dd is the same - currently minus one sandal and who knows where the other has gotten to?
buried under a pile of something!

I can never find anything after I've tidied up .

Good job with starting!

I'm currently starting the same thing as my friend is moving in for a few weeks, so it's given me a kick up the bum to sort the house out.

I've sorted through the whole spare bedroom (dumping ground!) and have boxed up a load of my stuff which I need for my freelance work which is currently on hold at the minute, so I don't need it immediately.

Currently tackling the kitchen cupboards and being ruthless. I'm making a mess but everything is organised into piles of charity shop or tip.

I have some really nice barely worn clothes of dd's and mine which I would usually send to the charity shop. I could do with the extra cash but not desperate for it - should I just suck it up and get rid of try and sell on Vinted? Considering I don't have a lot of spare time to sort it all out. I'm tempted to just charity shop.

Keep going OP. You'll feel amazing once you've done a few bits and it will keep you going. I've done this a few times as we have moved house a lot, but been in our current place a few years so have accumulated so much stuff!

Declutter checklist

I use this list about once every year and love being able to go through, take my time and tick off jobs as I go. It’s based on Marie Kondo, but you don’t really need to have done any reading, just declutter bit by bit one category at a time.

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