May the Fledglings Fly with you

[EspeciallyDistracted]

Hello everyone, and welcome to the May Flylady thread! I have shamelessly copied the OP from the April thread, thank you Sing

We welcome newbies and returnees - if you are curious about the system feel free to ask questions or lurk! We do follow it, erm, loosely to say the least. So there is a lot of chat about random life stuff as well as housework, decluttering and organising.

A key element of flylady is not being a perfectionist!
I don’t think the regulars would mind me saying that most of us here are not naturals at housekeeping etc, so please don’t feel we are some intimidating group who demand perfectly shined sinks. We are human. We fall off the wagon. We commiserate and help each other climb back on, and we stock the virtual naughty corner with snacks and blankets for the days when adulting is just too hard.

So, the system:
🔹Some baby steps which are designed to help you build up a routine.
🔹Daily missions to help with sprucing up particular areas in the zones, for example the first zone of the month is the entry/porch and dining room if you have one.
🔹Try and do 15 minutes decluttering a day. It didn’t get cluttered in a week so it will take a lot longer to clear it!
🔹Daily focuses to help shape the week.
🔹Here on the thread many of us post to do lists, but also “ta da” lists of things we’ve achieved that day.
🔹We also recommend the Power of Three technique - if you’re overwhelmed with too much to do, just pick three things and don’t think about the rest.

Anyway, I will post some links each day (hopefully) but whether you follow the system or not - many of us just take the bits we like or build our own flylady style system to suit our own lives - do join in if you want a place to chat about keeping a house and family running!

dancing that's a tough one. What's her situation? Single mum? No family nearby? Childminder ill? If I felt like she was in a really tough spot I would help her out (especially if she's having a tough financial time as well), however, if she seems like she's just a using CF then I would make up an excuse (going away for the day/ having guests over/ other plans etc.).

I used to always say yes to one of my friends, they only ever came over to our house, never reciprocated, other than her DC birthdays. I have distanced myself from her now. I do still check up on her, but I'm burned out, especially when she doesn't make any effort the other way round. She actually moved away, I've visited her once, she's never seen my new house (moved 1 year ago now), been invited plenty of times. A one sided friendship isn't fun, but especially since she's not really your friend either.
Sorry that was a long response. I'm not against helping people when they really need it, but can't stand CF's!

Graduation was fun, it went well, it was hot, but not stinky of BO, surprisingly. I cried a little when I saw DD in her cap and gown, as it all seemed more real at that point.
It's getting late, one more day of work until my 4 day weekend - it can't come soon enough!

I had a friend who would phone to ask if I could mind her child on Saturday when she went to work but she intended it as a long-term solution while breezily skimming over that. I'd help anyone on a pince but strictly as a one off.

With people who are CF I see it as a duty to not enable them because it's not good for their development.

Ah, red flag there dancing - you only hear when she wants childcare. She possibly has this going on in rotation with other friends to cover awkward Saturday hours - I don't know for sure that's the case but if it is it's not fair or sustainable. My friend was doing that.

Nip in the bud now.

Very wise Bean. Mine are too old for this sort of CFery now but I do have a friend who only contacts me when they need something, it's very annoying.

Tada!

2nd load of laundry on line, 3rd in WM
DD dropped off at school for GCSE Chemistry, chat with other parents in car park
Walked to allotment, stopped at coffee van for caffeine and chat, half an hour light weeding. Need to go back tonight, I am really pleased with how it’s going this year, these last few weeks of the DCs revising instead of needing taxiing here there and everywhere in the evenings has given me lots more gardening time.
Home to load car for tip (only cardboard, nothing heavy).

Friday’s link is here flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-60

Today’s mission is to dust and wipe door jambs and tops of windows in the master bedroom (we have sash windows and the top of the bottom pane is a dust magnet so I must do this one)

Well done That! Hope you’re very proud of yourself.

Hope the exams went ok yesterday ED.

Top parenting Hills.

DH redeemed himself on Wednesday night as I’d arranged to go to a friend’s for a coffee (turned to a wine) and I came home to a tidy house and 2 sleeping DC. The case was nowhere to be seen - he said he genuinely feared Death By Suitcase if he didn’t

Yes it feels like a lot of responsibility solo parenting Bean. It’s bedtimes that seems the most difficult, but we survived. DH being as far away as Australia with no local support must have been tough! I really do admire single parents.

YesTaDas:
✅ decluttered and tidied under clothes rail in boudoir
✅ put some clean clothes away
✅posted letter
✅morning and evening routines done in full and the place generally kept tidy
✅ wrote a list for what we need in IKEA next week

TaDas:
✅ sorted two birthday cards to be delivered later today
✅ monthly budgeting, savings etc sorted
✅bacon sandwich scoffed

How is it half term already?! I made DD do her reading and maths this morning instead of tonight so we can chill when she gets home. DH is off all week and we have a few nice things planned so I’m looking forward to it.

😁🤣🤣🤣🤣 Death by Suitcase by Agatha Christie

At the time my family lived in Australia too so I had noone this side of the planet. Very strange. But I survived.

Bean- aww, that must hv been tough.

Hazel- aww it must.have been emotional seeing your daughter up there graduating.

Ed- gardening sounds so lovely. Did you see any of the RHS show on BBC2? Some lovely rooms today. I only caught the last bit.

You guys on here are brilliant. You understood what I meant by the CF mother!
I had my post removed because I thought the way I had written it - it made no sense.

You were right. She is taking the piss. She called me out of the blue and she said she was going to work on tuesday, later she let it slip she wants time free to pack for her holiday! She is visiting family abroad for 2 weeks and wondered if I would have her kid again in a weeks time- to give the dad a break! She lives with her husband and seems to ferry the kid to different people on rotation so she still gets her allocated holidays. Definately a Cf. They both have well paid jobs and have zero mortgage as they bought their house yonks ago. Only one child and manage to go on lovely holidays abroad multiple times in a year. She is very calculating and I rarely see her at school drop off -(thank goodness.)

I am so drowning in my house- there isnt a clear spot to play.
I spent the day tapping away on the laptop and the job is done.

Now to focus on deep decluttering of the house.
I have to get this house sorted. Its essential.

Up- death by suitcase 🤣

Sounds likes you have made the right decision there Dancing

I have a new physio routine, which as anyone who know physio will know I am currently at pain level OMFG i did not know i was that broken.

Only flying that is going on today is that i need to do washing up. Other than that I am going to plug into my laptop and study. I have 3 days worth of study that has not happened to catch up on and very fast approaching deadlines.

Well done Dancing - you've maintained boundaries and helped her to be a better person by not enabling the poor behaviour 😁

Oh dancing she really is a CF! I'm glad you're able to spot that and set boundaries. Never watch this woman's DC again!
hills it sounds like you'll be multitasking - resting and studying at the same time! Don't forget to take mental breaks though, set a timer and take a 15 minutes break each hour. Get up to get a drink etc, it'll help you not be too stiff also. (If this works for you, I haven't studied for years but know that I ache if I don't get up every once in a while). I need to do our handwash washing up too!
Bean I can't imagine what is like to have no one around to help, I'm glad you were able to get through that. Even though I'm away from my family I still have my ILs, who have been an amazing support system for us.
Up Death By Suitcase did make me chuckle 😅 I'm glad he realised the position he was in - it saved his life!

I've just sat down with my 2nd cup of coffee for the day, thinking about my to Dos 😱

To Dos:
💧 wash floor mat in entryway
💧 wash pillow that's on the couch
💧 wash blankets that live in the living room
💧 dust main living area
💧 treat wood - dining table & chairs & sideboard
💧 pull weeds between rain showers
💧 put flowers in pot to go in the front
💧 plant a couple plants in the ground
💧 put up twinkle lights on the pergola
💧 talk to ILs about dinner tonight
💧 clean doors inside & outside, mostly the glass
💧 possibly bake cupcakes 🧁

We are having a BBQ tomorrow, there's quite a bit to do. Some of my to Dos can get done tomorrow. Some things may not get done at all (outside stuff) it's supposed to be wet and stormy so more than likely the BBQ will end up being inside the house 😡
We are all wondering where the warm weather is at this point, BUT we are in Idaho and the weather can change in a blink of an eye.

There will be more to do tomorrow, mostly food prep, so I'll try to get as much done today as I can.

Hazel- twinkle lights sound lovely!

So my brain decided it was important to be dreaming of driving along the coast, watching giant whirlpools with boats in danger of being sucked in as parents desperately tried to rescue kids who had fallen into the water threatening to kill everyone, complete with all the associated yelling. My brain is an ass and I am awake at stupid o'clock. <sigh>

Oof, Hills that sounds like hard work, I'm sorry.

Dancing definitely better to back away from someone who sees you as childcare first and a friend second. I had one of those - it crystalised a bit when she rang me on holiday and I forgot to put my Socially Acceptable Filter on and answered the phone with "I can't pick him up, I'm in York!". Then I realised her DH wasn't rushing for trains at the end of the day because they knew I'd pick up their youngest and hold onto him until they appeared, which got later and later. Amazingly, once the boys changed schools and I wasn't useful as a homework diary / childcare / reminder of school events I was dropped like a hot brick.

Hazel I love the sound of twinkle lights. Hope the weather improves and you can be outside.

Sorry I disappeared for a bit, MN does not make it easy to just pop by any more. Anyway, generalised Ta Das:
❤️ DS2's car is fixed, hurrah!
🧡 Finally bolted my bookshelves to each other and the wall, so I can paint them
💛 Started cutting out DD's summer dress, with the dog helping by sitting on me / the fabric 🤦💚 spent a morning taking the brambles out of the front hedge and tying up the wild rose and quickthorn to make it more manageable
💙 Resulting in a thrilling trip to the tip
💜 Finished the client report! Just waiting for him to confirm living cousins on his mother's side and then it can go, hurrah
❤️ Started writing up another client
🧡 New business from a former client (may have mentioned this already)
💛 Went down a rabbit hole of Anglo-Saxon charter / landscape research I didnt know was there and now how my summer holiday reading mapped out 😁 (man, I know how to live!)

To do, today
🌞 Change beds and wash linen
🌞 Undercoat bookshelves
🌞 Cut out rest of frock and start sewing
🌞 Pin and cut DS2's GF's frock (birthday present for June 9th)
🌞 Find a birthday gift for my sister (June 13th)
🌞 Start wrapping and order cake for DS3's birthday (June 18th)
🌞 Plan gifts for DH's birthday (June 25th)
🌞 Make my Bullet Journal June pages as it's going to be busy!
🌞 Make Moonpig order for June birthdays
🌞 Roast pork etc for dinner

Looks like I'd better get on! 🍒👋 to everyone!

Willow- hello! You have been doing loads! Cant wait to see the dress! Its true.
Its unfair to expect someone to pick up child care for their kids.

Hills- bloody hell. Thought you were describing a painting!

Here life is like a swing of unhappiness to despair. With sometimes a ray of sunshine.

The shit bit today is forced jollyness with the sil and her family at a farm park.
Cue lots of cutting remarks at me. Jokes(bitchy- damm rude) remarks about me from 'H' to sil to get everyone to laugh.
I am too polite usually to say much, but today they f-ing better watch out.
Its horrible, I have been bought up manners and grace.
They literally have no filter and they spend most of the time ripping people to shreds.
So sorry for writing all this....it helps if I unburden it for awhile.
I will plaster on a smile for my kids.

🍒👋everyone.

Come rant when you get back Dancing if you need. May you have patience and grace, and the fuckwittery be low and minimal.

dancing that sounds miserable! I think you have put up with enough and that you are okay to snap at them, that would be totally acceptable in my eyes. How people who "love" you can be so cruel baffles me! 💐 for you. Rant away here, but try to put them in their place. Your DC could hear what they say about you/ to you, I'm assuming, and that's not okay.
hills that sounds like a horrible nightmare and not a good way to start the day! I hope it turns out to be a good day for you.
willow good to see you again. You have been very busy! I'm in awe of your sewing skills. That's one thing I'm not very good at.

So I did not get as much done yesterday as I should have 🤦‍♀️ so now I've got a lot to do today.
I only managed pulling weeds!

So I'm not sure how much will get done today from yesterday's to Dos. I have to focus on food prep for the BBQ, baking etc. We also have to go to the store to buy some of the food for tonight.

Yesterday I did get to talk to my mum. I had to break the news to her that we cannot go travel to see them this Christmas 😢 with the uncertainty of travel rules (we could be forced to extend our trip if anyone of us tests positive for Covid, and we just don't have that time available to use - plus costs associated with that), as well as not really having anywhere to stay with my brother living with her (he has his DC 50% of the time) and air bnb is so expensive it's just not an option right now.
That was a tough conversation, but necessary.

Anyway, I'm enjoying my 2nd cup of coffee before I get started. I'm going to start with baking cupcakes for DD graduating. The BBQ isn't for that as we've already had a small party for her, but it's nice to acknowledge her accomplishments.

🙄 at your dp and sil dancing. Must be so annoying.

ARF at Anglo-Saxon charters Willow - way out of my comfort zone.

I have cleaned the shower with a toothbrush (now disposed of). It was apocalyptic. Less said the better.

Have cleaned merrily all day and got office work done too. Tesco shop arrived and put away. I have had a bath too.

Am about to oil the garden table which now lives in our conservatory.

Bean- weldone for the detailed 'toothbrush' cleaning.

Hazel- that must have been a hard conversation with your mum. Aww.
Your cupcakes sound lovely.

Hills - thank you.

Willow- did you print the supersized family tree? I keep meaning to say- i love the courses you do!

Thanks, all of you must have sent positive healing vibes as you wont believe it-

-The farm park was set in a beautiful setting- think telly tubby land.
-It had lovely families visiting.
-Sil was on her best behaviour and 'H' managed to not bitch about me in earshot. ( i had decided i would get angry if he told them my future plans.)

My fraggles loved it!
I saw rolling green hills, beautiful trees, lots more hills, very cute well cared for animals. Lovely friendly staff.
It was good to decompress in such beautiful surroundings.
Its so nice there i want to go without the kids!

Tadas-
Got home
Cue dd trantrum - wouldnt get in bath.
Ds-no prob mummy- i will go in bath.
bath kids to relax them.
spent ages trying to get dd out of the bath.
Fed kids
Put pink unicorn lunch bag into the washing machine with 2 scoops of stain remover power in the drum and abit of washing powder in the drawer. 1.5hour wash- it taken 95% of dirty stains out the outside of the bag.
Do most people put the lunch bags through the wash each week?

It was so nice to be out in the fresh air in nature.
Missing you Red, foxes, half, zoo, sing, blue, sc, chic and anyone i missed!

Big 🍒👋 to everyone on here....wish i could share the hills with you.

Dancing glad it went well! Not sure this Tellytubbie would manage hills at the moment - who knew shower cleaning was such an effective work out? I ache this morning! ( Puts getting fitter in midlife firmly back in the list)

Morning all, apologies for being AWOL over the weekend. I had a daytrip to London with DS on Sat and spent most of yesterday in the garden/at the allotment. I'm at the orthodontist with DS at the moment.

Dancing the farm sounds just lovely, glad the behaviour from the other adults was moderated.

Bean - well done on shower cleaning

Hazel - sorry about your plans to come back to the UK aren't working out. How are things with your mum and her house now?