Decluttering Club thread 2 2022 - trying to reduce stuff a little at a time.

[londonmummy1966]

New thread for those wanting to declutter

Old thread here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/4441273-decluttering-club-thread-20-22?pg=1

Oh God yes. Declutter ds18 to my mum. That's karma!

I had therapy for my mum at the start of the pandemic so in my mind in have my boundaries but people want or expect to trample on that.

I keep saying these arent my choices to make.

I can only control what's my direct responsibility and looking for secondary schools is like mourning all over again for what ds10 will never do. But I was talking to someone today who has a adult son with SEN and he saying what a lovely life he has in supported living. So the expected path isnt the only path to a happy life.

I'm having a gin right now ;0)

@IncessantNameChanger - sending you lots of unmumsnetty hugs. I had to have some theray for my DM as well and one of the useful tips I had was that once you've filled a cup to capacity everything else is going to overflow anyway so you might as well take the cup away. Your focus has to be on you and your DC first and if that is what fills your cup to the brim (and you have a lot on with your son etc so it will do) then you need to take the cup away from your not so 'D' M. That may mean that your sister has to step up or that adult services etc may have to step in. You also need to take time to focus on what you need - you know what they say about putting on your lifejacket first. So spend some time doing things that will help you (like decluttering/eating well) and make sure that you also spend a bit of time doing things that you enjoy for your own well being.

I'm dieting during the week but having this weekend off. I go walking with a school mum group every week and do a adult education sewing group weekly so I do have fixed down time.

My sister has no kids and never been a carer of any form. She is happy on the Ilse of denial kicking back in delusion with my mum. That's ok too as if its confirmed we are in for dark days ahead. Let's be happy right now.

I will write out some logic like nothing happens until my mum sees the consultant. Nothing can be decided until then and that dictates the next steps. My mum wont / very unlikely give poa and that dictates a lot etc.

I had a cry and and both my older kids know and was hugging me, telling me nothing is certain yet so again my ds18 can be a very grounding calm presence ( as well as a twat) I'm very lucky. I did a good enough job with them and didnt parent them.to be traumatised adults.

The sun is out. I'm having lunch out with dh and might sort some of the younger twos clothes for the local FB clothing bank this afternoon. Not spending too much time in the process.

I've sold 2 more items of clothes on Vinted, and also got rid of a book I finished and a couple of old puzzles that my son has outgrown.

Catching up on cleaning at the moment but hoping to tackle some more problem areas tomorrow. How do people deal with toys? My son has so many but it feels like he can't get to them so doesn't see/reach for them. Then he is whining for screen time!

There is a school of thought about toy rotation - I only came across it a bit late and it seemed like a lot of work on my part but may be worth looking into? Only one toy from each category out at a time.

one holey sock out.

lots of running clothes in for ds2 though and running socks for me.

215+1=216

I had a day off from all the daily endless housework except for folding wet laundry so DH can hang it faster due to my pain and tiredness . The office chair was picked up so a nice bit of space freed up in the garage and a couple of hundred pounds earned . The bigger buggy is meant to be picked up in the morning and the smaller too but no time agreed yet for the second so I’m not holding my breath . Probably will have to list the panniers again . Anything going is progress though and these items are leaving one way or another soon ! DH was tidying in the garage in preparation for tomorrows dump run so that’ll make more space as well . He did the lawns again and edges and will take that to dump too since we still don’t have a garden waste bin . They’re not giving any new ones out in this area atm . I only decluttered a few newspapers and magazines , dd ones too . Booked a birthday Aft Tea with a friend and theatre tickets for our family on Halfterm after DS is back from his trip . DD loves musicals so wanted her to have something fun to look forward to as well . DS had his first therapy session and it went well so he’ll go back regularly . DH took the kids out in the nice weather DD to roller skating and bought himself roller skates too so they can do it together . When we met we used to do it and I loved it but that’s a distant memory now unfortunately. He took DS cycling as well . Tomorrow a dump trip and more jobs ,general housework and admin (we’ve got more schools to register to for one ) and I will attempt to go deal with more boxes . Also need to go through the pile of assorted stained laundry and see what’s worth trying to clean . I need to get rid of that basket and laundry bin full . Need to pack DD bag for her school trip too and come up with pictures for the landscaper aaarghh…

I'm trying to get some kind of order in the garage, so the tools are all to hand and we know what we have, and there is room for my cross trainer to actually operate again.

I've got so much random kitchen stuff, odd plates and bowls, I have no idea what to do with them. Binning seems a waste but I've offered them for free on facebook and no one is interested. I wonder if school fetes still do the crockery smash!

this reminded me actually I agreed to keep something longer for someone on olio (because of her bereavement) but now I can't find me message trail. emailed them for help.
I just took an easy win yesterday and got two boxes out but actually being able to see into my garden now makes a massive difference, I'm more interested in making the place nice now. I don't think STBXH is ever going to take the children overnight so I can get the house valued so that'll have to just be around them 🤬

The big buggy is gone and that was emotional , I might be crazy but I actually did take a picture of it earlier . How ever I have made my peace with this issue in the past few years and moved on in life so it’s ok . We’re also 300£+ richer so now 500£+ in total from the last two items . If the small buggy goes later I’ll be even more happy !
I need sift through the 2 boxes of Lego and put them and the books on Olio I have yet to use so don’t know how to do that but we’ll find out ! I went to bed very late abd woke up with a head and a hip ache but will have to try to get stuff done today !!! I feel like I need to see progress to keep the momentum going !

It sounds perfectly normal about the buggy Nordic. I also wrestle with being done with kids but I find the next day I'm totally over that item being gone.

I'm a bit worried that my sister isnt replying about my messages about mum. I think she is going to go ahead with looking at moving mum. But if mum agrees than I'm going to have to accept that their choice. I dont want to see my mum move then need to move again relatively quickly into a home but it's not my choice to make. I'm choosing my battles and right now its secondary. Hopefully this time next year secondary will be named anyway.

Nothing out still.m just tidying and sorting

Going to the dump today are a bunch of boxes ,bags to clothing / rag bank , garden waste ,also some garage rubber mats DH decided don’t work .we added the broken printer . I will looked through a bunch of stained stuff from the utility and get rid of what’s pointless to keep . I emptied a whole big laundry bin of things that had just been languishing there for months but wont get clean / are too small etc so what’s the point of keeping them . Also putting to charity shop box too big Ugg outdoor slippers that were only used once . Dh will go to supermarket and drop off the foodbank stuff there as well . I will tonight try to sort through a box or two from the now emptier dining room , I’m thinking the 2 art ones might be quickest or the 2 memory boxes . Have asked DH to help list the three boxes of Lego and books on Olio finally . DD bag for the school trip arrived so I can pack her stuff too . Just a 2 night trip so not much to take . Migraine as soon as I woke but trying to manage regardless and just push through since I know I’ll be so happy about the progress later . Soon DH will have enough space to work of the motorcycle then that can be sold and he can fix the boat and that can go . One day we can hopefully get to the maintenance part and all these projects will be done !!! I have to believe to keep going !

incessant that’s wonderful that you have gone against your background and raised some wonderful, emotionally healthy dc. My mum was slightly abusive and I often stop myself from doing or saying something because I realise it’s how she would’ve behaved and would hurt my dcs. It’s so difficult to reject your upbringing, but important to do. I still think your best policy is to ignore your mum or just say ‘I don’t have time for this, call my sister’ repeatedly.

Im feeling slightly annoyed, I had to bin quite a large toy set as the character that used it needed a battery change and it was impossible to change the battery. The set had tracks and moving bits that worked with the character. I hate throwing plastic away. Anyway I now have a big binbag of incomplete toys from last week and a bag of stuff to be recycled. And I have 4 bags to go to the charity shop. (And about a thousand plastic bits of Lego and playmobil on the playroom floor!)

I have just found a whole load of summer clothes in the youngest sons wardrobe 😭 I'm going to sort through that now as it's not just his but also loads of dds that looks like it too small now. Damm.

I have a xls on my phone of her clothes and what's to grow into but I forgot about this. That's another job to action. Go through each stashed place and get out summer bits!

Joshua Becker had a you tube yesterday on 20 ideas on how to start I can't remember them all but some were
1 just clean one surface your bedside table or coffee table
2, the inside of your car
3, out of date food
4, any spice herb you haven't used in past year
5, any container without a matching lid when it's meant to have one
6, remove one thing from your kitchen counter
7, out of date medicines
8, around bathroom sink
9, excess towels
10, take a box or bag and fill with items to donate ( this was 2 items I think)
11, remove unused toiletries from shower cubicle
12, laundry area
I can't remember the rest

Echoing the others IncessantNameChanger you don't have to become your mum's carer, given how she is I'm surprised you're still in contact. You can choose to be in contact on your terms, your mum, sister and anyone else can't make you be her carer, just say no. You don't even need to give anyone a reason why, "it's not possible" is reason enough. If you start giving specifics people will start arguing why they think you're wrong and that's a waste of your time to hear it.

I found a few more things to let go of over the past week.

Two pillowcases which I no longer have the duvet cover for and they don't match any of the others or the bedroom decor. Quite hard letting go of something that has absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I didn't buy nice things so that I could keep on using unsuitable things.

A lovely jumper that's in excellent condition and a lovely colour but is a fraction too small. Every time I wear it I'm annoyed by it riding up all the time and I'm constantly pulling down the sleeves too.

Had to find my sunglasses, we've had some perfect weather, binned the case which was disintegrating.

Eye cream finished.

also have been through my socks and pants and got rid of anything with holes.

I have sorted out ds wardrobe and next weekend I will Bundle up and get rid of the excess.

Phoned my mum and asked her if she had any plans to move nearer my sister. They haven't had that conversation so its non issue as mum said she would have to move gp, hospital etc so that's that. It's true t's not just the stress of packing up downsizing, selling and buying. Its everything in her entire life she would be setting up again.

That list sounds really good @TeacupDrama I do find it much easier when I'm stressed just to tidy one area and then remove a few more items everyday from there. My kitchen is still tidy with that method

Not really got on with much this weekend as have been busy with activities instead.

out
too small dressing gown into charity box
holey shirts into textile recycling
too small swimming costume into recycling

still haven’t listed/offered out the running stuff I want to get rid of, that won’t happen until Thursday now I guess with work getting in the way.

Ds1’s 16th tomorrow, plus start of GCSEs poor thing.
have mostly bought him edibles, as paying for a paintball party at the end of exams. Have bought him a saxophone which may be a hit or a complete miss 😂

216+3=219

Another weekend where I’ve got some decluttering done! Yesterday I took two bags of previously sorted clothes to the charity shop, and took two pairs of DD’s old shoes to be recycled. Today I filled another bag with DD’s old clothes, which can go to the charity shop next week. I’ve almost finished the box of 9-12 months clothes.

@Nordicmom I take photos of everything I declutter! I’ve found it makes it easier to let go of things.

There have been some ins as well - I bought myself a pair of trainers yesterday, and bought some school uniform in the next size up for DD when I was in Morrison’s today. Last year I left it a bit late and they had sold out of some things in her size, so I vowed to just buy the next size up when it’s in stock.

The second buggy was picked up as well so now dining room looking much emptier again . Need to list the panniers again and those Lego and book boxes ( DH promised to tomorrow ) and sell the elliptical . Otherwise it’s the 6 boxes I’ll have to deal with and 1 of DH sailing stuff plus empty storage boxes . Unused new boxes will go to attic to be used later and old ones I might list on olio as well . We found 2 big ones tonight that were shattered so going to dump next time and put the stained baby hammock to dump pile and a sheepskin to a rag bank bag . I have to go finish DD bag for the morning then to bed . Boxes tomorrow since I won’t have school run until thu thanks to school trip . I must get stuff done ! Just so tired and sore all the time though and our dog is poorly . I just want to sleep !

I fell off the last thread about 8 times, but will try to keep up with this one! The DD's had their birthdays last month and we did a whole class party for each of them a couple of weeks ago - one hall, one day, two parties, morning and afternoon, never again! Lots of generous gifts, which is lovely, but we are now drowning in toys... I have said to the children that they need to go through the toys they already have and get rid of some to make way for the new bits, also hoping to do some sneaky re-gifting for other parties but I can't remember who gave what!😩

I did get rid of an old set of bed linen which must be at least 6 years old as I have pictures of a newborn DD2 lying on the bed and she has just turned 6. It was faded and had a couple of stains which weren't washing out, so I took it to the textile recycling along with an old coat. I have a textile bag on the go with an old rucksack, some torn shorts etc - I keep meaning to go through the DCs clothes and get rid of any winter stuff which will be too small by Oct/Nov time, but the weather is so unpredictable now that they're still wearing half of it!

Today's out: two DVD's that are violent, so I won't rewatch them.

@SydneyCarton we just had a big party and almost all (not all because my DD opened a couple unsupervised!) of the presents I took a quick photo of and sent a WhatsApp to DH with the name of the gifter! I now just search WhatsApp for a child's name to find the photo and make sure we are not regifting the same one back 😂

Such a good idea @Myleakycauldron ! I wish I’d done something similar when my children were younger.

I’ve got a 5x5 ikea kallax storage thing to store craft stuff (not all my craft stuff, unfortunately). I decided that this weekend I’d go through every single box and be ruthless!
Well it took longer than I thought, but I finished today. Lots went in the charity shop box and lots on freegle (lots in the bin too 😟). The good thing is today someone picked up two bags for life full of unwanted felt which is amazing, but it gets better. On talking to her I learned that she and her daughters craft things to sell on a local cancer charity stall. This has made me want to have another look through my craft stuff with even more ruthless eyes! I find it easier to get rid of things if they’ve got a home to go to

Some old swimming arm bands gone today.