I just found out how tidy people keep tidy!!!!!

[MrsBobDylan]

I have not felt this excited since I discovered sanitary towels can prevent new boot blisters.

You had better sit down.

Tidy people have less stuff. That's how they stay tidy.

No one bothered to tell me this life changing information. Bastards.

We are downsizing to a flat from a four bed house with a garage. I reckon I have donated/taken to the tip, at least half of the contents of our house.

We didn't need all that shit. I don't think I liked most of it.

Turns out, two mixing bowls is fine, 3 pans, 10 mugs, one duvet cover/pillowcase for each bed, no spare bedding for guests since they can bring their own, 6 bath towels, one coat each, three pairs of shoes each...I could go on.

Since decanting half of my house, it is lovely and tidy. I move a few things from room to room each day and clear the kitchen at the end of day. All manageable. I even have time for a nap on the sofa fgs.

Now my cupboards are not filled to the brim, I can PUT THINGS IN THEM.

The easiest and most satisfying clear out, was the knick knack cull. Photo frame we got for our wedding? Gone. Glass vase from my Uncle Harry? Gone. Mini collection of ornamental owls? Get in there!

It is easier to clean a house with less stuff in it. Surfaces get a quick wipe, floors are mopped without have to slalom round tables, chairs and plant stands.

If you have a friend who feels overwhelmed by keeping house, please pass this on.

You're welcome

Timely thread. Have spent the last 4 days tearing through my house doing a swedish death clean.
I feel so much freer, my futility room has everything neatly bozed with labels on. I found stuff I didnt know I had. Tools are neatly organised, I have space in my kitchen cupboards again.
Truly liberating.
Working on the paperwork now and getting it all organised, filed and labelled.

Can you come round to mine. We have stuff everywhere but I find it so hard to get rid of any of it. I used to bring used lunch bags back from school as I felt sorry for them going in a strange bin, so I’ve always been a bit weird about chucking things out.

I’m so so with you. Had a flood over the summer which in hindsight was some higher being saying you don’t need all that sh*t on the floor (in a vault and utility room I used to have to jump across). Twelve bin bags later and I still go in there to marvel. Also kickstarted a rest of house overhaul.

I think my epiphany this year might be I can cope with 2 coats (one is for manly dog walks) if I actually identify a coat I like that looks nice. I haven't yet achieved that.....

Also second to emptier houses are tidy is that we get our hoarding habits from our parents and their houses ought to be a lesson. My mother was shocking until her 60's!!

She has recently moved to a small retirement flat and I am in the process of clearing her 4 bedroom house, with attic, garage, sheds and greenhouses. It is a complete nightmare.

Your second paragraph with the list, yes, I could have matched that with my DM.

Sadly, if she's like mine was, she will not understand how all that won't fit in to the new place, and you will forever be criticised for getting rid of the stuff which just wouldn't fit. Even if it was moth eaten, or worn out, or dangerous, like some old electrical goods.

Some of us (thankfully) did NOT inherit a hoarding habit.

I’m all for this but if you can live minimalistic how do you keep your home looking homely. There’s a fine line surely.

A whole new take on the Ian Dury album New Boots And Panties…

@HarryBlaster

I’m all for this but if you can live minimalistic how do you keep your home looking homely. There’s a fine line surely.

It depends if by homely you mean cluttered, I think. Being minimalist is about getting rid of what's not important so you can enjoy what is important. My home is very comfy, we've added splashes of colour, we use textiles etc but we have only what we use and/or think is beautiful. That doesn't mean we have nothing at all

This is a brilliant thread and so true. You can do it in a less extreme way for those who have coat issues. For example, one rain coat, one warm coat and one smart/work coat.
I have decluttered our house significantly during covid and I find it SO much easier to keep things tidy.

But there are certain things we still have multiples of: single bedding (for sick bugs/wet beds), sets on uniform & coats, as above.

I work full time and there is a balance to be had between having enough of things that get dirty with young kids and having a lack of clutter and stuff so you don’t have to spend ages tidying.

A cruel but exceptionally successful part of it was getting rid of 80% of the kids toys. I kept the wooden toys, jigsaws, train tracks, arts and crafts & Lego and got rid of so much of the rest. They play with it so much more now and it can all be tidied away in 10 mins. I think weirdly they were overwhelmed and less satisfied by the toy clutter.

It has changed my life.

I recently read a book called The Life Of Stuff by Susannah Walker. It's a memoir about her life and that of her mother, who was a hoarder. It's a very moving read as she looks into the reasons her mum was hoarding, and how it made her feel as an adult, and what she learned about her mother while she was clearing the house after she died.
It also touches on the author's own potential to become a hoarder. It's ultimately quite uplifting and I would highly recommend it as a way to understand hoarding, without the rather voyeuristic tendencies of the TV programmes that cover it.

One coat though?

And also: our home is simple and quite minimal but also very cosy. Candles, plants, nice lamps, sheepskins, rugs, log burner. And lots of books. But not a lot of extra stuff.
3 pairs of shoes each, 10 t shirts, 5 pairs of trousers. So much more relaxing.

With you on all that @Thedogshow

@Peregrina my mum won't move to a smaller, safer home, because she doesn't know where she'd put all her stuff.
I pointed out that downsizing means minimising on possessions too, but I was met with one of those looks.
She's not a hoarder, is clean, tidy and has a place for all her belongings, but she has a lot of stuff.
Particularly clothes! And still she buys more. She does wear them at least, as she's an active 85year old with a better social live than all her children put together.

I like that!

@NatriumChloride these are the pans with removable handles - they are excellent quality and come with lids for cooking separate plastic lids for storing cooked stuff in the fridge. Really excellent if you a minimalist or, like me, saving space for 100s of other kitchen things. www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B06XHHWSMQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

As far as I can see this only works for about 2 years then you have to do it all again. I don't know where all the tat comes from but it does.

WatchingWait it seems that your Mum hasn't really got a problem since she is still clean and tidy and still active.

It's when the house becomes too big for them, they are having falls because they are tripping over the hoards of stuff, and then have to move, but cannot understand why space can't be found for every Christmas and Birthday card received since 1948 or grandfather's electricity bills from 1953-59, plus, plus, plus - you name it -.......that you have a problem.

Thank you everyone for your kind words about my mums hoarding. I very much appreciate you letting me vent as I know I can get on my husband and kids nerves going in about it.

It is really sad. She's always kept people at arms length even us kids. The only person she was ever close to was my dad who died in his 50s and I think the shopping and hoarding is an attempt to fill that space in her life.

It's a horrible thing to say but in some ways it's a blessing that she is quite frail now and can't get to her house on her own so her brother and I (who are getting POA) can control what she has in the flat. I also have keys to her new flat and will discreetly remove things if she starts to hoard too much there.

She's been tested for dementia and doesn't have it but she is definitely entering her second childhood. It's often like spending time with a recalcitrant toddler.

I draw the line at one set of bedding per bed. I do have a rule that if I buy a new duvet cover, one has to leave!

@Peregrina

WatchingWait it seems that your Mum hasn't really got a problem since she is still clean and tidy and still active.

It's when the house becomes too big for them, they are having falls because they are tripping over the hoards of stuff, and then have to move, but cannot understand why space can't be found for every Christmas and Birthday card received since 1948 or grandfather's electricity bills from 1953-59, plus, plus, plus - you name it -.......that you have a problem.

Yes, I realise this, it was just in the spirit of conversation. The problem being, she would move to somewhere more manageable, but she won't because her belongings are too important to her

Only keep things that you know are beautiful or useful....
Having said that prepandemic we often used to have lots of people for meals so we have cupboards full of crockery and saucepans etc. I want to take them to a charity shop but one day we might need them again...

I made the same discovery 2-3 years ago. I went from room to room looking at objects asking ‘ do I actually like or need this?’ Over several months I had a domestic cull. It clears your mind, too.
And to the posters who are surprised you didn’t know: no, it isn’t obvious to everyone because we often end up hard wired to thinking we need stuff when we don’t.
Now, I regularly throw stuff away instead of shoving it into drawers, cupboards and magazine racks.