I just found out how tidy people keep tidy!!!!!

[MrsBobDylan]

I have not felt this excited since I discovered sanitary towels can prevent new boot blisters.

You had better sit down.

Tidy people have less stuff. That's how they stay tidy.

No one bothered to tell me this life changing information. Bastards.

We are downsizing to a flat from a four bed house with a garage. I reckon I have donated/taken to the tip, at least half of the contents of our house.

We didn't need all that shit. I don't think I liked most of it.

Turns out, two mixing bowls is fine, 3 pans, 10 mugs, one duvet cover/pillowcase for each bed, no spare bedding for guests since they can bring their own, 6 bath towels, one coat each, three pairs of shoes each...I could go on.

Since decanting half of my house, it is lovely and tidy. I move a few things from room to room each day and clear the kitchen at the end of day. All manageable. I even have time for a nap on the sofa fgs.

Now my cupboards are not filled to the brim, I can PUT THINGS IN THEM.

The easiest and most satisfying clear out, was the knick knack cull. Photo frame we got for our wedding? Gone. Glass vase from my Uncle Harry? Gone. Mini collection of ornamental owls? Get in there!

It is easier to clean a house with less stuff in it. Surfaces get a quick wipe, floors are mopped without have to slalom round tables, chairs and plant stands.

If you have a friend who feels overwhelmed by keeping house, please pass this on.

You're welcome

I realised that I had too many objects and needed to declutter some to be tidy. But I also fret and feel anxious in a room which feels too empty to me. I have resolved this problem by drastically reducing the "stuff" but simultaneously investing in a large pantry cupboard and a large cleaning product/toiletries/medicines/loo roll cupboard. If those are full and organised I feel secure, but they are full of consumables we use constantly (and I am hot on stock rotation) so should I need to downsize or move into a nursing home etc I could just use them up without restocking them and be done.

@wantanotherdog

Only keep things that you know are beautiful or useful.... Having said that prepandemic we often used to have lots of people for meals so we have cupboards full of crockery and saucepans etc. I want to take them to a charity shop but one day we might need them again...

You just adjust what you cook.

I had this conversation the other day with my dad. He’s a brilliant cook - the best. On this occasion I’d cooked Sunday lunch for a crowd and he said he couldn’t have done what I did with my kitchen equipment- not enough ovens, pans, workspace etc.

But you adjust. You make sure you plan the meal to suit your equipment, not buy more equipment to do the meal you fancy. You plan to cater one-pot meals, or cook in advance, or use the pressure cooker/slow cooker/microwave judiciously.

It’s just a mindset shift. You can get rid of the extra crockery and saucepans…

@HelpNeedCoolUsername8

Omg OP, you truly are a genius! For years I’ve been wondering why my DH has turned into such an untidy monster. I kept wracking my brain to remember when it started. But I swear he used to be so much tidier when we first moved in together! I was starting to think he might have a problem…stress, depression, brain tumour?! But no, he is just crap at throwing stuff out! We are drowning under his enormous collection of trainers, t shirts, video games, books, paper work, etc which of course he didn’t have in our 20s. You have just saved my marriage (probably) Oh and can’t wait to get a blister, lol.

Love this!

@runthatbymeagain

A whole new take on the Ian Dury album New Boots And Panties…

As someone who only has 3 pans I can confirm it’s never enough. It’s a pain the arse at times.

@DreamTheMoors

I live pretty much crap-free.

I do collect green depression glass though, and I’d never, ever get rid of it because it brings me such joy.

If anyone wants to get rid of theirs, I’m here to take it off their hands.

Argh - my DC2 accidentally smashed my Granny’s green glass water jug I was very fond of (and had bought some uranium green candlesticks to go with). So then I had to rebuy it … and there was an eBay seller offering extra water glasses as a set…

I’ve got rid of lots of ‘stuff’. But I am secretly a collector. It’s a tension… But it’s that William Morris thing again (or indeed Marie Kondo) of what’s beautiful/useful/joyful to you.

My mum enjoyed collecting 1950s etched glassware. There’s loads of it -I bought her some - but now she’s not here it’s not used because it’s not dishwasher safe and no one wants the responsibility of it. I wish I loved it as much as the depression green glasses but I don’t. I’ll happily wash up a sink full of uranium glass but I don’t feel the same about my mum’s glassware.

When that’s the case, ‘stuff’ - even or perhaps especially sentimental ‘stuff’ - should go to a new hone.

I remember the thrill I had finding a set in a pattern that my mum wanted; knowing she’d look after it. She was the right home.

So if you can’t feel the same excitement, just responsibility, then it’s better the ‘stuff’ moves on to be cherished by someone else.

All I can say is that thanks to this thread, I now have a rather large box of stuff heading to Goodwill tomorrow. And I feel somehow lighter because of it.

Great thread, OP you are so funny!

Bits of timber 'that might be useful'

But ... but ... those bits of timber - they really are useful. I used one a few weeks ago.

@Practicebeingpatient

Maybe 20 sealed boxes of the Chanel No5 perfume she has been given and saved for best

Ebay. Seriously. Even if it's really old. Do a Completed Listings search and have a look at the prices - you'll be amazed.

Wait, what's that about the boots?

I've realised that I have two double base units in my kitchen that go in to corners & both are full of miscellaneous crap that I never use, I'm going to have a massive sort out when we get another place to move to & 99% of the stuff in those cupboards is going in the bin, same for the store cupboard in the hall that is full of my old shoes, I dumped them in there when we moved in 8 years ago & have never worn them since, time to get rid. I've been saving for ages since I decided I wanted to move & am going to ditch as much as I can, I have saved enough for all new white goods, everything I have is at least 11 years old & a new sofa suite, my mum has said she will pay for decorating & carpets, we have an area outside for dumping scrap items so I'm going to dump everything I'm scrapping, will have a charity come & collect things like TV unit, coffee tables, book case & sideboard, they are only flat pack but will help put someone on until they can afford better. Then I only need a small removal van & only to move my bed, set of drawers from my room, ds drawers, TV'S, boxes of kitchen stuff, bed linen, clothes, books etc. Everything else will be delivered & installed at new house.

@KloppsTeeth

I need to get rid of boxes and boxes of toys. All small things, like Octonauts, Bob The Builder type characters. Lots of die cast cars. But charity shops don’t want them as they only sell for pennies. Where do people move their on to that isn’t landfill? Then I would be tidier, as it would free up space.

I find this sad. DS and I spent many a happy half hour shopping when he was very small with him looking through the box of second hand toys in second hand shops spending his pocket money . It was often used as an incentive when I needed him to be patient for my ( boring ) bit of the shopping trip

Minimalism is the best! Lots of YT videos on the topic :)

Toy library? Primary school? Nursery? Mums and toddler groups? Dr waiting rooms? All
Might like a toy box donation.

@MrsBobDylan

There is a distressing amount of dh tidy sabotage reported on this thread. They MUST be told that unless they are prepared to cull their belongings, they will be the focus of your next declutter.

Be firm. My dh's books were his heart and soul. And now they are gone

In my house it’s my dh who’s tidy, and I’m what he lovingly refers to as a maximalist.

When I moved in with him, he had 5 bedrooms, plus a study and a second family room, and they were all empty. I thought that maybe paying the mortgage on his own for several years meant he just couldn’t afford stuff. Turns out not everyone likes to fill every corner of their home with —crap— belongings, and he liked it that way.

Suffice to say the house now full to bursting and I don’t know how he’s managed to resist decluttering me!

So many utterly, brilliant people on this thread. I have never been in better company

I have just cleared out ds7's clothes. He only wants to wear clothes which are soft (jeans and canvas gone) and which have a sports/gaming vibe (cute John Lewis t shirts/sweatshirts gone).

At least 30% was too small or too worn (unwearable clothes gone).

I can’t remember who was talking about getting rid of books and charity shops not wanting them. Download the WeBuyBooks app. You just scan the barcodes on your books and it tells you how much money they will give you for it. Lots of them are only pence but it adds up. Then you just box them all up, print a label and they send Hermes to collect (or you can drop at a Hermes point). We have done it twice now and made £80 and know that they will resell the books rather than them clogging up a charity shop. Any that they don’t want I bag up for charity shop.

@NoSquirrels you have expressed the Marie Condo concept of joy very beautifully.

My remaining ornaments are my treasures. Without all the others, they have pride of place, are dusted regularly, because it only takes five minutes, and I see them more.

It's an edit not a deletion.

Agree with keeping things which give pleasure. My DS painted a gorgeous mug for mothers day when he was 5. Unfortunately he dropped it and it cracked on the inside so could never be used. It was stuck in the cupboard with all the other mugs.

When I minimalised I cut us down to 3 mugs (no one drinks hot drinks except the occasional hot chocolate and my parents when they visit) and the painted one was put on a tiny shelf in the living room (you can't see the crack) and it makes me smile every time I see it. Before when opening the cupboard it would depress me cos it was cracked and couldn't be used.

This may be a touch mood hoover...

Sentimental items don't keep those you love closer. Memories do that.

I had a tough childhood. I was loved by my Dad's Mum but she died when I was 13, along with any hope of ever escaping my parents.

My Gran was hard up, not much to pass on and my parents didn't care enough to find something for me to remember her by.

I have remembered my Gran everyday for the last 35 years. I remember how she loved me.

In contrast My Mum's Mum had lots of beautiful expensive ornaments and huge diamonds set in platinum.

We saw her regularly until she died at 95. She had quietly cut my Mum and us out of her will. I don't think of her at all and have subsequently bought my own diamonds in platinum which I love very much.

I recently ended my relationship with my well-off Mother. She will cut me out of her will. The money is worth nothing to me, I just wanted a Mum who loved and cared for me.

@DuvetDayIsEveryDay

Once every 2 years I get a skip and fill it.

It's fab.

but not for the planet, woman!

@SandwichDistraction

I can’t remember who was talking about getting rid of books and charity shops not wanting them. Download the WeBuyBooks app. You just scan the barcodes on your books and it tells you how much money they will give you for it. Lots of them are only pence but it adds up. Then you just box them all up, print a label and they send Hermes to collect (or you can drop at a Hermes point). We have done it twice now and made £80 and know that they will resell the books rather than them clogging up a charity shop. Any that they don’t want I bag up for charity shop.

Thanks, I might just do this. I have a couple of boxes waiting for us to make the trip to Oxfam books, but realistically that's a schlep that will keep being put off. I'm hoping I can persuade DH to go for the container concept with books - we need to get rid of enough so that the ones we have left all fit in the bookcases we have. At the moment there are random piles on tables etc.

I know Dana White of a slob comes clean has been mentioned a few times already. The first time I heard her she was being interviewed and was describing the (imaginary?) situation of having a thousand crayons and only 400 fit in the crayon box.
So you get a second box.
And a third.
But now you need a bigger shelf to hold the extra boxes.
And a bigger room because the shelf doesn’t fit…. and so on.

And as daft as it sounded spoken out loud, I recognised this mindset.

She explains all the barriers to tidiness like slob vision (what mess?), time passage awareness disorder and the ability to think up 50 uses for a piece of junk and why you can form bad habits at the drop of a hat but the good house keeping ones don’t stick.

I wouldn’t recommended it for the “how can you not know that” posters but worth a listen if you’re messiness is a mystery or you think tidiness is a gene that you didn’t get.

@MrsDeaconClaybourne

I've just bought coverless duvets for everyone! I think it's going to be life changing!

I did this about a year ago, it's awesome but I still haven't managed to bin my duvet covers because I've spent so much on them over the years