I just found out how tidy people keep tidy!!!!!

[MrsBobDylan]

I have not felt this excited since I discovered sanitary towels can prevent new boot blisters.

You had better sit down.

Tidy people have less stuff. That's how they stay tidy.

No one bothered to tell me this life changing information. Bastards.

We are downsizing to a flat from a four bed house with a garage. I reckon I have donated/taken to the tip, at least half of the contents of our house.

We didn't need all that shit. I don't think I liked most of it.

Turns out, two mixing bowls is fine, 3 pans, 10 mugs, one duvet cover/pillowcase for each bed, no spare bedding for guests since they can bring their own, 6 bath towels, one coat each, three pairs of shoes each...I could go on.

Since decanting half of my house, it is lovely and tidy. I move a few things from room to room each day and clear the kitchen at the end of day. All manageable. I even have time for a nap on the sofa fgs.

Now my cupboards are not filled to the brim, I can PUT THINGS IN THEM.

The easiest and most satisfying clear out, was the knick knack cull. Photo frame we got for our wedding? Gone. Glass vase from my Uncle Harry? Gone. Mini collection of ornamental owls? Get in there!

It is easier to clean a house with less stuff in it. Surfaces get a quick wipe, floors are mopped without have to slalom round tables, chairs and plant stands.

If you have a friend who feels overwhelmed by keeping house, please pass this on.

You're welcome

@Practicebeingpatient

I am a declutterer married to a hoarder. It's a constant struggle.

My mum is a horrible combination of bargain hunter, shopaholic and hoarder. She only buys cheap tat from Poundland, Wilco, charity shops. but she buys a lot of it! I think my dad kept her in check but since his death 30 years ago she has gone berserk. She has recently moved to a small retirement flat and I am in the process of clearing her 4 bedroom house, with attic, garage, sheds and greenhouses. It is a complete nightmare.

Amongst choice items I have had to sort/dispose of so far - 38 tins of chopped tomatoes (those were the in date ones, the out of date ones went in the bin). One stash of 27 tiny IKEA pencils. I've found more since. Even more of those paper rulers from IKEA. Over 38 packs of panty liners (she is 82). Over 100 unopened packets of tights/stockings. Over 500 unused key rings shoved in a drawer . 18 different brand new with tags Primark scarves. 23 twin packs of Primark gloves. Over 30 umbrellas, mostly new. Dozens and dozens and dozens of part used shampoos, shower gels, soaps. My purse belt from brownies (I'm in my 60s). Every card, painting and gift her grandkids have ever sent her. Over 3G wooden spoons, again mostly unused. 4 unopened sets of king sized bedding (she has no king sized beds). Broken vacuums, TVs, kettles, printers, CD players, radios. iPads and kindles she has been given but never used. Maybe 20 sealed boxes of the Chanel No5 perfume she has been given and saved for best. Dozens of nail clippers, scissors and reading glasses. So much of it is destroyed by age damp or moths or is not up to modern safety standards. The waste is astronomical.

It is endless. Every day I visit her house and box and bag up stuff for charity shops or the dump and it is taking forever. 13/14 carloads in and I haven't made a dent in it.

Sorry - I needed to vent. It is taking over my life. It's grubby and soul destroying and I hate it. The waste is obscene. I will never, ever, ever inflict this on my children.

What a sad post! Initially I thought it was funny when I was reading but then it became clear pretty rapidly that this must be pretty destructive and sad behaviour. There must be some sort of disordered thinking on her part - maybe she felt the stuff could fill a void? Or maybe she’s addicted to acquiring new things. I’m so sorry for her and you. What you’re doing for her is wonderful, @Practicebeingpatient.

Love it ! We moved 15 years ago and got rid of loads but over the years have acquired more stuff from relatives dying, presents etc .
I started a Chuck out as we are moving somewhere smaller - I can’t stop - everything I now look at I seem to hate (DH too sometimes but I’m keeping him) . Easier to just pick out the things I do love and get rid of the rest...... Freecycle , gum tree , ebay - made over £200 so far from unwanted stuff and still going ....

Practicebeingpatient you are a star - this is so hard . It is an illness to hoard like this and it causes so much distress - my son in law is going through the same thing with his ma. You have my sympathy and you can vent away !

[quote PierrethePenis]@MrsBobDylan could you come and explain this to my DH please? I couldn’t cycle to work today he has so much in the garage, I couldn’t get my bike out from the 3 blocking it as there was nowhere to move them.[/quote]
Yes, I would be happy to.

My dh actually muttered "I can't fucking listen to anything which involves a cupboard and a trip to the tip anymore. You are killing me."

I need another outlet otherwise dh will declutter himself and I am rather fond of him.

Food banks will be glad to take the feminine products. Period poverty is wretched.

@TheFoundations

I think you'll regret it when it comes to the ornamental owls. I'd be lost without mine.

🤣

Use your nice stuff now. When my father’s mother had to move to a nursing home, she was sleeping on ancient sheets that had seams down the middle from doing the sides to middle thing. There were five sets of pretty pink sheets still in the factory cellophane. She explained those were “too nice to put on the bed”.

I live pretty much crap-free.

I do collect green depression glass though, and I’d never, ever get rid of it because it brings me such joy.

If anyone wants to get rid of theirs, I’m here to take it off their hands.

My mum did this and now she has nothing of use in her kitchen. She's had to re-buy a few things when she realised she needed them

Hi, just wondering do any of you have those door bells that connect to your phone so you can see who's at your door and if your not in you can say call back im in the shower for eg. Im just debating the pros and cons, was just thinking of them for safety reasons with the dark nights coming In etc. TIA

@FatCatThinCat

I wish I could do this but I can't. I panic just at the thought. I have 2 full shelves of cookery books that I literally never use, apart from 3. One with my Christmas cake recipe, another with a keylime pie recipe we use, and a curry one used so much it's falling apart. Why can't I get rid of the other 40/50 books? Why am I clinging on to books I know I'll never even look at yet alone use?

@FatCatThinCat I'm the same with cookery books - I think the difficulty is they look so beautiful and then you buy them and find you only really want to cook 5 of the recipes.

For ones I rarely use, I take a photo or photocopy of the recipes I actually want to cook, and then donate the book.

I also discovered that my library system has HUNDREDS of cookery books, including new releases. Now I can borrow the book and see if there really are enough things in there I want to make to justify buying a copy.

The brutal declutter continues, this time in the medicine cupboard. We had six bottles of child liquid pain relief, enough plasters to wallpaper a house and seven different brands of laxatives.

Gone.

The cooking herbs and spices have been downsized and I have given the plastic cereal storage boxes to charity. I don't know why I ever felt the need to decant cereal out of a perfectly good box into plastic. What a waste of time.

Found out I've been hoarding medical supplies for my eldest son. He has enough test strips, ketone strips, lancets and needles to serve a nation of diabetics. I feel guilty about that because it is a chronic waste of NHS money but at least he will eventually use them up (by the time he is 80).

For the people who feel guilty getting rid of things, I've found it helpful to think that if you donate or sell things, you're passing them on to people who will use and love them, so it's a win all round.

@peachesarenom - that penguin is gorgeous, but I will be strong and resist!

Omg OP, you truly are a genius! For years I’ve been wondering why my DH has turned into such an untidy monster. I kept wracking my brain to remember when it started. But I swear he used to be so much tidier when we first moved in together! I was starting to think he might have a problem…stress, depression, brain tumour?! But no, he is just crap at throwing stuff out! We are drowning under his enormous collection of trainers, t shirts, video games, books, paper work, etc which of course he didn’t have in our 20s. You have just saved my marriage (probably) Oh and can’t wait to get a blister, lol.

Being trying to sort out my wardrobe today and be a bit more ruthless but not easy

I also have loads of recipes cut out but can't always locate the one I want

@thebuswontfit

My mum did this and now she has nothing of use in her kitchen. She's had to re-buy a few things when she realised she needed them

I haven't got rid of anything in my kitchen I need. I just discovered that I didn't need as much as I previously thought.

Today I have made the kids waffles and a beef stew with my 3 pans and two mixing bowls. It worked fine, although I did have to wash up and re-use on the job.

One coat??? I have 4! Heavy duty extreme weather, dog walking, lightweight for summer evenings and formal super smart for special occasions. How can one coat fill all these briefs?? My head is fried.

@woodhill

Being trying to sort out my wardrobe today and be a bit more ruthless but not easy

Marie Kondo is Queen of tackling emotional clothes hoarding. I was a right hoarder before I read her book.

She suggests only keeping clothes because they 'spark joy'. I generally only wear jeans, t shirts, joggers and sweatshirts because I don't work. I have enough to see me through a week with no need to put in a wash and I get joy from everything I own.

Hanging onto a jumper that is too warm to wear unless you move to Iceland, a t shirt that is a fab colour but suffocates your boobs or that smart blazer which doesn't suit you but cost a fortune...get gone.

I've just discovered the obvious too. Our dcs are now at uni and before they left we systematically went through their old stuff and gave most away (with their permission). Old toys, books, dressing up etc - we are just keeping roughly a box each we're hiding in the attic.

Now we're on to our own stuff - getting rid of things we haven't touched for two years seems reasonable. We will still be cluttered but at least not quite so much. Next will be the kitchen drawers - we have two!

Hanging onto a jumper that is too warm to wear unless you move to Iceland

Oo, you'll possibly regret that this winter if things get as bad as they fear it will.

"Have nothing in your house that you believe to be beautiful or know to be useful."
(William Morris). There's a clue in my nickname.
Having a place for everything and putting things back in them helps massively.

I also desperately need to know about the one coat thing. We all need a smart one, a warm one and a waterproof one at least, surely?

@ladygindiva the coat restrictions have upset people, almost as much as the pared down bedding and the lack of ornamental owls.

I wear a sweatshirt or a zip tracksuit top or for a smart cardigan in the summer months/Autumn. I have only just started wearing my winter coat and most of the time I regret it because it's still warm out there.

My kids are coat refusers - I force them to own one winter coat each which they usually carry while whinging on about how they don't need it.

Hurrah 🎉

I’d be pretty pissed off if you invited us for the weekend and said bring your own bedding.

Rather stay at an hotel (maybe that’s the idea?)