The Hoarders Anonymous #5

[CherryMargo]

Thread #1 | Thread #2 | Thread #3 | Thread #4

Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common!

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

Chillied I also found some photos and looked through them. There's one of an exh, and a friend working in the garden - nothing special. I just couldn't bring myself to through it away - yet! I've thrown a few previously of a friend that I have no contact with nowadays (pats self on back).

Miaowse the stuff I sold was mainly sports equipment. Some of the better condition/quality things were sold for £100 and I had the luck of finding a couple of people who were starting out from scratch so bought quite a bit of low value stuff at once.

I'm very low effort with selling. Use Preloved and Market Place because they're free, I never hold items the first to come fetch it gets it and only do cash on collection, at times when I'm already planning to be around in case they don't turn up. Anyone trying to haggle or asking for post or just asking lots of questions instead of reading the ad, is ignored and blocked instantly because I don't want to interact with idiots or rude people. So it's been no real hassle.

Chillied well done with the photos and for ditching the bad memories.

Solo at least you found the log book in the end. Congrats on the new car.

Nettle skeins thanks and sorry you never managed to fix the water problems. Fingers crossed it won't take a plumber long.

The new car sounds exciting, finding the log book! Great!

I took a bag full of clothes to the charity bin, things were too small or unflattering. I'm glad to have them out the house.

I washed the kitchen window today and the other half of the window sill.

I scrubbed two front steps, a few more to go. But I'll do some tomorrow.

I cut up a branch into small pieces.

I sewed a hem on curtain number two.

I bought myself some overalls, they arrived, I've put them through the wash. I didn't have anything brilliant for mucky jobs.

Solo the theme of 'can I bring myself to throw it away' will be a key one today I think. I'm going to try to tackle the most cluttered room in the house (my office). Already today I've looked at a pile I decided to keep yesterday and thought 'I don't need that' about one thing (a hairslide handmade by a friend) and I become really indecisive about another (a percussion shaker!).

I've already spotted the collection of Mr men books on the shelf in the office. My kids are too old. Most of them are from MY childhood, handed down by my boarder mother. So they're invested with all this 'importance'. I really have to work on myself today!

I agree Downudderer that actually taking the things to the charity shop (or the dump or sold) is really key and another half of the battle.

my hoarder mother, not boarder!

I might have a conversation with her about those and similar items. Danger is she will ask for them back, increasing her own crazy clutter (This has happened in the past)

Chilli, how funny I too have a complete set of Mr Men books that I want to get rid of but don't "dare" (DH bought them). I need to find a three year old who can "borrow" them for twenty years...
Down, what a good idea about overalls. I really do need some for mucky jobs of which there are MANY round here.
Today we are going to take the skirting off the water waste pipe in the loft and see if we can progress .still resisting plumber (don't know one who does this sort of thing as opposed to installations or gas heating)

Sing to the sky Hope you had a lovely time seeing your parents.
Miaowse hope you get a better run at it all today, but well done on lightening the brain load.
Susan glad the isolation’s almost over, must be really hard on you all. Well done on ‘actual progress.’
Down Thank you for the random kangaroo poo info! Well done on the charity donations.
Amber £600! Well done, very impressive!
Solo Congratulations on the car and finding the log book Good luck on the charity collection and car clearing!
Chillied “…underway in a slow journey of grappling with my relationship with stuff.” And that’s it, the relationship we have we stuff. Mine’s definitely like a bad marriage that you know you have to get out of but haven’t quite succeeded in yet! Well done with the photos and good luck with today’s chucking mission.
Nettleskeins That sounds hard work, horrible and very frustrating! Very annoying to put in that much effort and it fight back. Good luck with wrestling it today. (Very guilty of having multiples of tools here too.)

…and yes Mr Men books here too!

Ended up beyond exhausted and hurting so much yesterday, but sort of got there. Did end up chucking lots of stuff randomly into drawers and cupboards in desperation, but I guess I can sort it out later. After breaking myself to have everything ready for when they were supposed to arrive, contractors (1st of second lot) of course turned up several hours late.
So far washing and drying, normally a Sunday job, done, more things moved around for today's contractors and trying to make plans on what to try and do next, while waiting on their arrival again. I’m mentally drained tbh, as well as physically.

Thanks elle it’s always a bit draining seeing my parents TBH but it was nice to be all together and they did say how much more space there was and agreed it is tidier and cleaner!

Been sorting through random boxes of crap the last few days, I still end up with lots I have no clue what to do with but at least I’m getting the rubbish out and putting some stuff where it needs to be. I wonder if there will ever be a time we don’t have boxes of assorted clutter, and have a place for everything we are keeping?!

DS did well today - I got him to go through his massive box of transformers (one of his main obsessions) and he chose lots of broken ones to be binned, and plenty to give to charity too which I wasn’t expecting!

Sing that's sweet of your son to decide to donate.

I've done it with the junk cupboard. After 3yrs of living here I finally sorted it out a few months ago. It's now a home for specific things, all organised into different areas by type and anything that's actual junk is gone. One little cupboard but it felt like the biggest deal ever to tackle that. I'm trying really hard to not have any 'I don't know' piles. Post is filed, shredded or recycled same day now, I've got a file of things that need doing so nothing left hanging around. Items that come in and don't have a home are found a home right away. I find once that 'I don't know' or 'I'll deal with it later' pile starts up it quickly gets out of control and becomes a mammoth job to sort out even when it's still small. Plus it looks so messy I can't stand it. I've changed my mindset from doing the big things and fitting the little things in when there's time to ensuring all the little things are kept on top of and only working on the big things after. I've found its better this way round because it's tidier so I'm less stressed and so more likely to do the big things.

Elleherd you've done amazingly well.

Chillied you can't live your mother's life for her so don't feel guilty if she adds to her hoard. Her behaviour is not your responsibility.

But, those books belong to you now not your mother. Do what you think is best with them. If you don't think it's best to offer them to your mother or to tell her you're getting rid of them, then don't. You don't need her permission, they're your books.

If you want the memories take a photo of the collection and when you've got a few of these 'memories from childhood' pics of various objects, either print them out and put them in an album or scrapbook or keep in a digital file all together. You don't need the actual items to have the warm fuzzy feeling from the memories. The books can go to charity shop or be sold, someone would love them for their little one.

Down overalls is a good idea.
Today I've finally finished up an enormous bottle of shampoo 5L so that's going outside to recycling and I'm celebrating it no longer hanging around in my kitchen. Small successes!

2 important bits of admin done today,one claiming a refund!
Recycling and bins out
Compost emptied
Wiped worktops
Swept floor
Friend for coffee...stuffed a LOT of things in cupboard under stairs as it was an "emergency"#

Sing - will there ever be a time we don't have boxes of clutter and there's a place for everything? That's the DREEEAM!!

I remember the time of getting rid of broken transformers - a couple of years ago. Then the next year you find the other missing half... too late.

Amber - I know the books belong to me... but it does feel slightly wrong and daring to think that. Layers of psychology to undo.

When we all put the Mr men books on eBay we'll crash the prices!

Chillied Yes to the right thing feeling like the wrong thing! I swear my whole life right now is working out what's the right thing, doing that, then dealing with how I feel about having done it. Lockdown has had a bad effect on me but I'm determined to recover from that.

Nettles well done on the refund. I'm supposed to be doing this too but have almost procrastinated myself out of time. Few days left.

Ticked off two of the three phone calls from my list.

Several big frogs added to the list so they must be the priority tomorrow.

Got my shredding done.

Very little other progress, bar reading a novel and then putting it straight in the charity shop box. I’ve now started another book but I think it’s a keeper.

@Nettleskeins

Chilli, how funny I too have a complete set of Mr Men books that I want to get rid of but don't "dare" (DH bought them). I need to find a three year old who can "borrow" them for twenty years... Down, what a good idea about overalls. I really do need some for mucky jobs of which there are MANY round here. Today we are going to take the skirting off the water waste pipe in the loft and see if we can progress .still resisting plumber (don't know one who does this sort of thing as opposed to installations or gas heating)

Nettle PM me the first part of your postcode. I know people

If you want to of course.

I've sewn the second curtain and it's up. I chucked the old curtain straight in the bin.

I've put on two loads of laundry.

I've scrubbed another couple of steps outside and done some gardening.

I threw away a couple of pieces of clothing yesterday, they were practically rags.

4 charity bags of clothing....... GONE!! BOOM!

Awesome work Solo - bet that feels amazing.

The charity shop I usually use is accepting donations and no need to book a slot. In theory this is great, but I think having a scheduled slot meant I’d actually drop the stuff off at the allotted time whereas this way the stuff will likely hang around for months.

Not much done today so far...

That’s awesome solo! 4 bags!!!

I managed a bit more sorting of random crap today. I’m finding it so much easier to get rid of stuff recently. To let go, especially, of “potential”. I’m more realistic about what I will use I suppose.

Still lots to do but I don’t seem to go a single day without managing a bit of sorting, even when like today I thought I’d have a crash day - mid afternoon I really felt the need to do more sorting, so I did! Progress.

I finally finished those utility room cupboards today and also cleaned the whole first floor so now completely crippled I just about made it up the stairs and had a shower after then had a TV dinner on my bed . Haven’t moved off it since getting up will be hard but I’m glad I managed to get on with it finally . Not labeled perfection but decluttered and in categories so I know what I have now . Turns out I had about 10 bottles of drain cleaner and similar of toilet cleaner etc multiples since I couldn’t see what was hiding in the big corner cupboard ! Nothing really to throw out of there today since I already had done that earlier .today I just organised and put stuff away plus cleaned . Next it’s back to the kitchen and then under stairs cupboard of doom I need help with . we just have to pull it all out pretty much I’m sure there’s stuff that can go as always .
I have to take photos of decluttered and organised areas for myself and keep them for motivation when I’m having trouble . DH thinks I’m crazy .
We’ve gotten a bunch of admin done too . I finally have booked DD birthday party and the puppy’s neutering . We visited a doggy daycare yesterday we want to sign him up to near our new house . I found out today I’m getting my last weeks biopsy results on the 8.6. I’m a bit nervous about that . DD played piano in a school concert on Monday we saw on livestream , was lovely .
I’ll share a few progress pictures here for the first time ...

Brilliant! Both of you!

Yes, felt great getting them out. That's 12 bags in total so far (between lockdowns). Now I need to get some things up for sale.

Nothing much done today. Washing up, cooked dinner. Going to do Dd's lunch and off to bed. Night all.

My bathroom

One of kitchen food cupboards

Some of mine and DH wardrobes