The Hoarders Anonymous #5

[CherryMargo]

Thread #1 | Thread #2 | Thread #3 | Thread #4

Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common!

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

BlackEyedSusan …it looked like a furry bottom of a rodent that appeared to be pooing on the stairs. (bloody middle aged eyesight) Sorry, as I’m sure it gave you a turn, but
Absolutely get Dc out when possible, stir crazy never works out well.

Nettleskeins That’s not mean, a plant’s a plant.

Down you're sounding nicely on top of things.

Thanks all for sympathy about evolving nightmare, the water’s off for now while an argument rages.
Plumber says it has to be a new mixer tap. Landlord says it doesn’t, unless I want to pay for one and it’s fitting that they will then own, as it’s just a washer and I need a better plumber!
Totally agree that a washer needing changing’s down to me, but, when their tap’s so old you can’t get it apart to change it and plumber can’t either and says it needs a new tap, that’s surely down to landlords. Sink and draining board are so battered it makes little sense putting a new tap on, but...
Contractors turned up yesterday poked about a bit, argued and did no actual work. They’re saying their bloke neither diverted the leak nor claimed to have fixed the tap. Boss is saying contractor looked at it, found no leak and told me it must have fixed itself and I accepted that, and it was never part of their job, just getting in the way of their job which is the only reason they looked at it!
Got a load of rubbish about what happened to missing bloke from Friday, (No explanation about the previous one!) more excuses about Monday.
At this point I only have tonight left to get boxed stuff into storage.
Somehow have to get lots ready today despite contractor’s stuff in the way, and after that it’s four days left to try and reorganize the rest so there’s good access to almost every part of every room. Am trying to keep a grip that I can do this, but it feels impossible.

With Dc’s help, got old fridge out yesterday and down to scrap recyclers, and two heavy drawers broken up and into the bins.

Hi all, can I join?!

Single, 3DC, full time student, ADHD diagnosed, and generally a chaotic mess.

I’ve gained a lot of weight the last year (gone from running around to sitting down all fricking day), and I finally packed away all the clothes that no longer fit me, gave eldest DD t shirts that I knew she’d like, and gave some to charity.

Clothes and toys are my nemesis.

I also don’t drive so getting rid of stuff is difficult.

I’ve bought some cardboard boxes in order to get stuff packed away ready for when a friend can take them away for me either to donate or take to the skip.

However I’m in the middle of exam season so all my time is spend revising, and my cleaner is a bit flakey and regularly changes days which does not help my ADHD, as I can’t focus on decluttering when my house isn’t clean. But she’s amazing when she’s here so I sort of don’t mind?!

God I’m fucking useless at this stuff.

Help.

I’ve got the TOMM apps.

MoesBar Hello and welcome.
You're single, 3DC, full time student, ADHD, and it's exam season? Congratulations on being upright, let alone anything else!
Depending where you are there are some organizations who’ll pick up stuff from you, and also Freecyle, Trash Nothing, and Gumtree if you can deal with organizing them and are able to ensure you aren't going to end up acquiring unneeded items from them instead of decluttereing through them.
(Trash Nothing seems to be the most simple and sensible in my area if you have one.)

So far today have done pet run, been informed contractor not coming 'till afternoon, and developed slight addition to plan: just picked up a second hand frame for a replacement kitchen cupboard.
Am going to see if I can fit it quickly enough, so I could remove worktop prop as worried it’s all bending.
Am hoping it would take me the same time to fit as it would to find and cut some more props. But if it doesn’t go in quick, then will have to find and fit more props, and it will have to wait.

Elleherd are you in the UK? Because if you are, you're not responsible for washers in taps. All repairs are landlord responsibility if you're renting in the UK. Only your responsibility if you caused accidental or deliberate damage. Wear and tear is on the landlord so he should be organising the plumber and paying for all this. I can't believe all the landlord related stuff you've ending up doing yourself. Sorry the contractors have decided to stitch you up about the leak.

Another deletion?
Amber I believe it’s slightly more nuanced than that though I’ll be very, very happy to be wrong.
My understanding is taps should be in good repair and not dripping when the tenancy commences, but after that replacing washers come under tenant maintenance, not landlord repair? Our tenancy has them listed as the tenant’s responsibility to maintain, along with all sorts of things including fences.

Kitchen unit is in place, if not perfectly, (can sort it properly at leisure) but it’s doing the job and stopping the worktop bowing, and I’ve successfully fitted the old cupboard door onto it (which I wasn’t sure I could tbh) and will fit the blanking plate later.
Contractor turned up but didn’t stay long, but tbh it made it easier to get quite a bit boxed up and down to storage. Also a got a small wonky shelf unit, long bit of unusable wood, piece of split hardboard, and lots of cardboard have all off to recycling. Last pet run done, and now trying to convince Ds to pack for going away tomorrow, but not getting very far.

Welcome MoesBar .

Elle check your contract. And do a bit of Googling regarding what the landlord is responsible for. In the UK, you shouldn't be responsible for things like fixed tap washers; showerhead washers - yes, but not sink taps. The Tenant Fee Act 2019 cut out almost all fees for a tenant, but unless you have made a deal with the landlord - ie cheap rent if you do repairs (and that could be dodgy ground), then he should be replacing your taps.

Elleherd no, there is no "tennant's maintenance". Only stuff like repainting after a few years when kids sticky fingers leave marks all over the walls, refilling holes left by you putting up pictures and removing the nails when you leave the tenancy, cleaning mould by washing with bleach etc if property has a damp problem (which it shouldn't! But it if does you can't just leave the mould), having the window reglazed when your kid put a ball through it (someone else's kid who you're not babysitting and it's the landlord responsibility), getting a locksmith if you lost your keys, repairing the sink if it comes off the wall because you sat on it. That sort of thing. Nothing else. If you didn't cause it it's not you problem. Your landlord is taking the piss big time. He should be the one organising the plumber, you either take time off work to be available to let them in or your landlord uses spare keys to come let them in or he gives keys to plumber to attend alone. You don't call plumber, ever. You don't pay plumber, ever. In emergency you contact landlord or letting agent, they call plumber and pay. If they don't, you can call plumber and deduct cost from rent. Ditto other trades. None of this stuff you've been doing is your responsibility, neither the work nor the cost nor the calling and booking it in nor the arguments about shoddy workmanship. All landlord responsibility. I'm angry on your behalf that you're being treated like this.

Problem you've got with shitty private landlords, is although they can't legally evict you for forcing them to do maintenance, they'll get round it by just declining to renew tenancy when it's up for renewal, so then you'd have to move. That's why it's best not to do anything yourself and just move if you end up with a shitty one. Yes it's hassle moving potentially every 6mths but you're a living breathing example of what happens if you let them take the piss! You're renovating his awful property for him, for free! Its not right.

The exception to them declining to renew tenancy is social housing landlord, they can't get rid of you without an actual reason (eg non payment of rent or anti social behaviour) because your tenancy is permanent.

Our tenancy has them listed as the tenant’s responsibility to maintain, along with all sorts of things including fences.

A person can't sign away their legal responsibility. This is landlord responsibility, end of. Your tenancy agreement is illegal. Your landlord is a git.

Mowing the lawn is your responsibility, as is weeding the flower beds, not using the backyard as landfill, painting fence, all yours. Fixing broken fencing eg after a storm is landlord responsibility.

Hi Moe the most important thing is to just start. Assuming you're starting from scratch:

I'd pick the sofa so you can sit down! Pick up each thing on it and put it away where it belongs. If you don't know where exactly it belongs because you haven't decided yet, just put it in the right room. Once your sofa is clear then clean it, I recommend using the hoover for this. Maybe put the cushion covers through the washing machine and get them dry and back on. Job done .

Next I'd take out all the bin bags from the inside bins to the outside one and wash the inside bins if necessary, then put fresh bin bags in them. And then take out the recycling.

After that I'd clean the toilet, I use antibacterial wipes all over then do the middle with bleach and a loo brush.

Lastly I'd take off the old bedding and put through the washing machine, hang out to dry or tumble dry. Fresh bedding on and clean pyjamas ready for night time.

Then I'd feel like I was basically hygienic which would make me feel better and more able to tackle everything else.

I've cleared off a set of drawers, so so dusty. I've washed a load of towels and hung them out. I've scrubbed a messy window inside and out. I have cleared half a very messy window sill. I will put on another load of laundry. I need to fold some clean sheets and put them away.

It doesn’t matter what your tenancy agreement says, the contract doesn’t overrule the law. I’m having major issues with my private landlord right now, who wants monthly inspections because my house had “cobwebs in the outside toilet, dust on the furniture and laundry on the bed”.

The furniture is all mine.
I’m allowed to leave clean laundry on my bed if I want.
And of course the unused outside toilet has cobwebs in.

I’ve spoken to SHELTER and my local council have told her to back off with it all. My cleaner had been the day before so the house was immaculate

Amber, thanks for that, it’s really useful. I’ve got an exam today but my sister is coming over tomorrow to give me a hand with various things, I just need to pick a spot to declutter.

Amber You have a freedom to move around if things don't suit, that we simply just don’t have on many different socio-economic levels.
Your comments on the law are interesting and I will be taking a closer look, but Landlord’s very well known, with huge numbers of tenants with same situation and same tenancy rules, especially in older properties, and a long list of prospective tenants desperate (as we were) for anything affordable not requiring them to know a property owning guarantor. (and post pandemic - a good credit rating!) They more recently have also started taking on the councils anti-social tenants. Shelter know all about landlords image vs reality for many tenants and their dirty tricks when people complain too hard.
Council have never been helpful, possibly because of commercial relationship but probably because of sheer numbers on housing list.

Moe Sounds like she’s either very anxious or wants an unreasonable nosey for her own reasons. Assuming the outside toilet isn’t the primary one, (well apart from for the spiders!) I’d expect to find major cobwebs in it!
Agree with Amber about getting things into the right room. Would add put like with like. Then you can see how much of something you have and if you actually have ended up with 20 different blocks of post it notes.
Good luck with both the exam and tomorrow’s decluttering.

Down Well done. It’s all rain, wind and sudden hail storms here, you sound like you have nice weather!

Got back from pet run to find Dc still here and in panic. Eventually made it out in time to catch train by a whisker, leaving disaster area behind! Mainly cleared up.
Contractors are here, and they reckon they should be finishing today and removing their stuff. Have end of leak diversion pipe stuck in a bucket for now, and just turning stopcock on and off as needed. Will have to deal with that situation later as have to get on with getting this place sorted out and organized for second lot of contractors on Monday, and have a wheelchair fitting appointment for tomorrow that’s unmovable. Hopefully by this time next week, it will all be over and done with, and I can be back to quiet decluttering.

The rental system in the UK needs a massive overhaul, its not fit for purpose. The system I other countries with 5-10yr rental agreement is better but our government voted recently not to improve tenants rights because half of them are landlords . We're living in harsh times.

People in your situation is why the landlords get away with it. People who are broke or have no guarantor being desperate for whatever is available. That's why he has a waiting list, not because he's legal or decent. He's preying on the vulnerable. You're right about there just not being enough social housing to go round, because they sold it all off under "right to buy" scheme.

As you're housed, council might put you on the list for social housing but you won't be priority. It's worth getting on the list if you can because how long you've been on it is a factor in who gets offered the property, if everything else is equal. You needn't bid on anything at the moment if you don't want to, but once you're on the list it's easy to update your circumstances with the council if they change. And if you see property you like bid on it anyway even if you're #300 because it could be months before it's ready to move into and by then the other 299 might have found somewhere else to live.

I think fair to say that around 80% of private rental homes within the housing benefit budget aren't fit to live in and some of the social housing too. There's a huge problem with landlords not carrying out repairs regardless of rental costs.

Anyway, dealing with the hoarding and cleaning is the way to go because at least if circumstances ever change you're ready to move.

Today I'm going to crack on with a few unfinished projects which are taking up space. It's pouring with rain here so it's an indoorsy day. I've had a good look round and don't think there's anything else I can do storage wise, it's selling off what I don't need and using up or wearing things out to get rid, which takes time. My biggest issue is not buying more! I've dyed my hair today so that's two less boxes hanging around. Hope everyone is doing ok today.

I know I haven’t post in three weeks, I have been very up and down mood wise. Struggling with my recent condition and letting things getting me down.

However, I have dusted myself off and started going again.

1. I am behind in the laundry but only to the tune of three loads or so, I will catch up. Once I get motivated! I am not motivated to do the laundry, lol.
2. I have kept up with the kitchen, bathroom, and hall. The kid’s rooms are ok, only standard kids mess.
3. Our room is still a future project.

What I have done
Current project is our dining room/living room. I have cleared, I repeat, cleared my dining room table! I then bought and fitted new table protector and a cheerful tablecloth with yellow birds on it (see photo)

Then I thought I don’t want the kids eating on the new tablecloth, so I covered their end with another new tablecloth of yellow flowers, just for mealtimes, lol (see photo)

I have sorted out two out of three of our storage units and will start the third tomorrow.

I have sorted the kid’s art wall for the first time in 18 months, which took me ages but I am glad to have done that.

Still need to put one big item on eBay and a couple of boxes to re organise and find homes for things but I reckon another week or so and I will have done as much as I can downstairs! Which is a frightening but great position to be in.

I must continue to work steadily and finish off the downstairs rooms WITHOUT churning. Just get rid of as much stuff as possible.

PS. Hope all the building and landlord issues get sorted out soon.

just in a holding pattern at the moment with ds off and I have not been sleeping. I was going to update yesterday and mention not sleeping and then saw the time so went to bed!

nice table cloth and yay to cleared dining room table.

Loving the tablecloths Babies

Hope you get some sleep tonight Susan

I didn't get much done but I have plodded on with a few bits and added some paper to recycling.

Clearing the table is such a great feeling! I'm managing to keep ours mostly cleared most of the time!

This time last year we had lots of rain, it was unusual. They said it was caused by La Nina. This year it's been clear skies for a few weeks. Warm in the sun cold in the shade. We're going into winter soon.

An air con guy came this morning and gave us a quote. The house was presentable and I didn't feel sick at letting someone in to see it. I've still got more progress to make, but I would never have got where I am without the support of this thread. I think I would have still had my head in the sand.

Some rooms seemed impossible to tackle a few months ago. I remember my bedroom, I just had a few inches of floorspace. Yesterday evening I put the hoover around and just felt amazed that the room is 90% how I want it to be. There's just one or two small things that need tidying (under the bed!).

Oh my gosh I’ve been so bad at decluttering I’ve not even finished reading thread 4 😱😳 this must be the most behind I’ve ever been (I’ve been on the threads since the start under various names).

I had quite a few months where I just couldn’t think of the house and the stuff - mood, motivation and energy levels were so low. However I’m settled on my new ADHD meds now and OMG what a difference! It’s incredible. So I’ve started sorting stuff again and I’m gradually getting the house tidier and cleaner.

I still have to be careful as my health isn’t great and my body can’t keep up with my motivation 🤣 I’m in a hopefully brief flare up right now after a very busy few days and then had my second jab last night so I won’t be able to do much today I reckon.

Parents visiting on Sunday and I’m excited to show them how much better the place looks even if I’m not up to more tidying before they arrive.

Hope everyone is ok, I’m looking forward to catching up 💐

Contractor did finish yesterday but announced he was using the bus so leaving everything here. Got a fair bit done yesterday, but not really enough. Did manage to create and dispose of another carrier bag of recycling in the process.
So far today has just been irritating. Started with first time Ds goes away, someone’s tried to steal his bike. Failed but damage done. Had to let him know as he was relying on using it straight of the train. Not dealt with it too well.
Lots of shenanigans to get to appointment in hefty wind and rain, to find they’d decided on a chair that requires my ability to make a substantial and currently unafordable contribution to.
Got back to find I’ve missed contractors van to get their equipment out of the way.
Drying out and then need to work hard to catch up several hours here. Hopefully that was the rule of three at work and that’s it.

Amber Yes we are living in harsh times, so just getting on with it seems the most sensible current option. I love the dying your hair as a decluttering contribution; very positive!
babieseverywhere so sorry you’ve been struggling, but as you know it goes with the territory and happens to the absolute best.
You have “cleared my dining room table!” “I have kept up with the kitchen, bathroom, and hall.”“sorted out two out of three of our storage units” “sorted the kid’s art wall for the first time in 18 months” I hope you can see that’s a heck of a lot! Love the tablecloth/s, and you’ve done so well to be almost finished downstairs!
Susan Very wise! Think you probably have to accept the holding pattern for now. Hope you get some sleep.
Down It is interesting what being open about the problems to others who get it, does. “the room is 90% how I want it to be” Brilliant, well done you!
Sing to the sky Glad you’ve what you need to get you back in the swing. Huge sympathies with having a body that can’t keep up with your motivation! Suspect lots of others are nodding at that one too.

Glad to say rest of the day went more smoothly.

Hiya Sing great to see you :)

Down I'm envious! And I'm so guilty of head in the sand!

Elle bloody contractors!