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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

The Hoarders Anonymous #5

992 replies

CherryMargo · 21/03/2021 17:19

Thread #1 | Thread #2 | Thread #3 | Thread #4

Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common! Flowers

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

OP posts:
Thread gallery
40
Elleherd · 13/05/2021 22:12

Nettleskeins with difficulty tbh but needs must. I spend more time indoors on my bum. It can be frustrating and it’s murder on the body, but I do have a few systems in place, some tricks, and I’m a dab hand with a grabber and doing things with a long pole, but I dream of an exo-skeleton and all the things I’d do!
DC is lovely but help can be sporadic and food/ mood dependent.

Builders and plumbers probably think all houses smell as if work is needed in the same way royals think all venue toilets smell of fresh paint.
Floor is painted a warm blue tinged grey for now. Hope to laminate it all in due course.

Some stuff moved back, boxes accessed for tomorrow, some cleaning done, half the cleaning stuff into cupboard, bath taps descaled, last pet run done, half a floor painted and was doing really well to complete most of today's target, until I ran out of paint, and realized I’d left the 2nd can out of reach the other side of what I’d just painted! Blush

Solo · 13/05/2021 22:48

Oil doesn't suit Dds hair tbh. And she's 14, and really won't do what she doesn't want to do. I'd have it french plaited every day, but she won't. If I was able/allowed to wash it weekly, it'd still matt up, it would dread very easily too. It's actually much curlier than it looks in those pictures, and longer. She had it cut with layers put in (11 inches off!). It looked lovely, but the layers were hard to deal with, so it was cut to the shortest layer.
Anyway...

My laptop kept crashing last night, so I need to catch up.

Nothing done today besides washing up, and cooking dinner. Dd's hospital appointment took quite a while.

Solo · 13/05/2021 23:35

Elle I take my hat off to you! You do so much more than I do!

Shoes...hmmmm...
Lots. Walking boots, DM's, sheepskin boots x 3, Ugg boots (not the sheepskin style) x 2. knee-high boots. 2 pairs of ankle boots that I went off wearing, and should get red of but can't. And many high-heeled, and stiletto court shoes that I rarely wear these days. Lots of Birkenstock sandals too. 2 pairs of biker Skechers. High-heeled strappy sandals. And I got rid of loads before too. I'm also size 8, with broad feet. Ridiculous I know. Not ready to get rid of any more at the moment, but I do have quite a few pairs of Birkenstocks and Papillio sandals that Dd has outgrown and I want to sell them. I'm just worried they won't sell if no one goes away on holiday.

I might bung a load of charity shop stuff in the car in the morning so I can donate it after work.

Solo · 13/05/2021 23:38

And 2 pairs of trainers. Slippers.

AmberIsACertainty · 14/05/2021 00:20

Thanks for all the shoes information Smile

Elleherd you've been so busy. With every update I picture your home getting it's makeover bit by bit.

DownUdderer · 14/05/2021 01:11

I think I've got 16 pairs of shoes/boots. I'm shocked! I would have said I only had two pairs, but then I really started thinking! They're spread out!!

Lots of work going on. I'm so impressed with you all.

I've scrubbed another hallway this morning, well it's half of the hallway, I'm still keen on doing what ever area I can manage. Swept, rubbish picked up, mopped and some scrubbing too.

I'm soaking a crochet blanket that got muddy and wet in the garage. It's in the bath.

I've got a load of laundry in.

I'm resting now. And then I'm going to tackle some garden jobs while the weather is favorable!

It's funny to think that no one else has a house full of sand! I just thought it was normal, but of course that's daft of me. The car is always full of sand too!

Solo · 14/05/2021 19:17

My house is just full of dust!

DownUdderer · 15/05/2021 03:30

I've got plenty of dust too!

Today I've sewn two hems on one curtain. I really had to force myself to sit down and commit to ten minutes of sewing. Of course after ten minutes I was in the swing of things and carried on.

Then I picked up five things from a pile of junk. I sorted them, then sorted a few more bits. The pile of junk is getting smaller, bit by bit.

Elleherd · 15/05/2021 12:36

Solo I’m only doing this much at the moment and wouldn’t recommend it. It’s not possible to keep this level up long term, I’m in pain all the time and it’s half killing me. Very few of our charity shops are currently taking donations. Apparently, they’re all overwhelmed still.

Amber Parts of it are getting a makeover of sorts. All the woodwork desperately needs sanding down and gloss painting, but I’m cautious to start on it because it’s such a big task.

DownUdderer Well done on all the cleaning and getting to the curtains. I want a beach to fill my house with sand from! Grin

Elleherd · 15/05/2021 12:39

My house is full of…….well, just about everything!Blush
I lost yesterday to endless phone calls trying to track down contractors before they abandoned ship over the weekend. One eventually turned up early afternoon, said lots needed moving that I hadn’t anticipated, so I moved everything again while he went off to get something, and he didn’t come back! Cue losing the next few hours on the phone as well.
I should have moved everything back last night when it was clear he wasn’t returning, but too disheartened, shattered and hurting so went and spent time with GA’s pets as worried about how little company they’re getting, but was mainly ignored!

This morning have done pet run, and moved everything back.
About to feed all, then have to take a (needle resistant) DC for Covid vaccination, and then collect Gumtree underlay, so unsure how much I’ll manage to get done today, but the day’s still young so fingers crossed.

BlackeyedSusan · 15/05/2021 19:07

two days of life ratehr than flat.

BlackeyedSusan · 15/05/2021 19:15

two days of life rather than flat. visiting relatives and vaccinations. and day of rest while dc are with dad. decadent idleness. (though I did wash up, get out their stuff for swimming, make breakfast for one of them and generally chivvy them along. sort dry washing for dd to put away and finish some paperwork while I have silence in the flat. )

Elleherd · 15/05/2021 21:09

Decadent idleness sounds highly desirable.
Got above done and second coat of paint onto new floor. About to do last pet run and that's my lot.

AmberIsACertainty · 16/05/2021 00:57

BlackeyedSusan "Decadent idleness" I like it!

Solo no sand here either it's crumbs with mine.

Elleherd you must be exhausted. Those workmen are the pits.

DownUdderer I know exactly what you mean about getting started, worth it though, I'm the same as you and often carry on once I've taken the first step.

A favourite dress died of old age at 11yrs old. Threadbare and saggy, it went into the recycling before I tripped over its shapeless dangling hem again and broke my neck.

Starling85 · 16/05/2021 01:04

I have been trying to get rid of baby clothes today and I just can't do it. Started off with good intentions, a keep pile, a charity pile and a rubbish one but the "keep" pile was the biggest by far. Any suggestions?

Nettleskeins · 16/05/2021 09:06

With baby clothes I started by "lending them" to people who had a new baby, and then there was the possibility of getting them back after a year.

AmberIsACertainty · 16/05/2021 09:22

Starling I've felt this way in the past. Sometimes the decluttering has to be gradual and it's not possible to do it all at once. I'd start with a favourites box, for the things you'll keep forever as a memento. Then go through the rest for anything too worn to donate which needs to be recycled and put it straight into the recycling, even if that means driving somewhere to do it, otherwise you'll end up bringing it back inside again. Put your favourites box away somewhere, you've chosen them so you don't need that again. Maybe that's enough for the first time.

Next time whenever you want to keep something tell yourself you already chose your favourites and stored them, be strict with yourself. Go through all the general things that don't have sentimentality eg multiple plain vests or babygrows and bag them for donation. If you've somewhere to donate them take them straight round so you can't change your mind. If you're planning to sell as a bulk lot then set aside somewhere.

Now it's just the difficult stuff, the pretty things perhaps with a degree of sentimentality but not enough to be your favourites. Try to shift your mindset. You have your favourites. Your house is not a museum. You can't display everything, there's no room. All these things will do is hang around forgotten, they won't get looked at or appreciated. It's almost a crime against the clothes and their services to you to keep them hidden away, stuffed in a bag, languishing in a corner forgotten somewhere.

Is there anyone in particular you can think of who'd like this or that? Gifting feels like a kindness, not loke the disposal of getting rid, and you have the pleasure of seeing another child wearing it.

There's places that'll turn old clothes into teddy bears if a relative needs eg a birthday present. Or you could do it and give it to your own child when they're older.

Could you do with the money? Is there anything in particular that would sell well? Pick out those pieces and advertise. Do one at a time if it feels emotional so you don't get overwhelmed.

Put the rest with the plain stuff you bagged earlier, knowing that it'll help the plain stuff sell and get you a few pennies for something else, perhaps a photo frame for a favourite pic of your DC? If you're donating them then take them straight away so it's done and you can't sneak them back in the house. Remind yourself you have your favourites.

DownUdderer · 16/05/2021 09:38

If I struggle to get rid of somethings I try and get rid of a few bits, then maybe down the line I can get rid of a few more bits. Time is sometimes the answer.

I’ve got one curtain hung! I’m so happy! I’ve pinned across the bottom to get the correct length. It looks so much better than I thought! It’s so difficult to get a nice photo.

DownUdderer · 16/05/2021 09:57

Here's a photo.

The Hoarders Anonymous #5
AmberIsACertainty · 16/05/2021 11:40

Down that's lovely

Elleherd · 16/05/2021 14:55

Starling the very best method I know with baby clothes is to find another baby to put them in! Time and detachment does help.
Sometimes photographing things can make it easier to let go.

Down That’s lovely and looks very professional. I love the color.

So far pet run’s been done, and all have been fed but that’s been it. My ‘help’ threw an unhelpful strop, (over of all things workmen letting us down- oh the irony ) so I’m MNing and hoping to have ‘reset’ soon…

AmberIsACertainty · 16/05/2021 15:27

A mixed day today. Deep breaths. On the plus side I had an enquiry yesterday about something for sale, but from the buyers information I could tell it was unsuitable for them. However, I had something similar I'd been considering selling, so I sent pics and the buyer had that one instead. So I sold it without advertising it, which is great! I have a pang of regret at seeing it go, I would have liked it for display if I lived somewhere bigger, but I don't need it and I have no sentimental attachment to it, it was just rare and beautiful. I have others things which I'm emotionally attached to, have great memories of using and might need again. I can't keep everything. So far, so sensible.

But this morning waiting for the buyer... OMG what's wrong with meeeeeee! I went to buy a pair of summer shorts online and came away with a pile of stuff for absolutely no reason that I could work out, except I just had to have it. So now I have another bag/box coming and nowhere to put it. I won't send back because I never ever do. Plus, I want it. Best reason I can work out after pondering for a few hours? The model looked like the type of person I'd meet in my hometown. So I bought a pile of stuff I don't need because I'm homesick. It feels crazy aaaaaargg!

Does anyone here make their own clothes? Do you find it to be less hoarder-y? I'm wondering if I should stay away from shops permanently, forever. A sewing machine and foldable table wouldn't take up too much room. Or would I start hoarding cottons and ribbons and fabric instead?

I suppose in terms of space I've swapped something I won't use for something I will. I guess it could be worse. But oh my! I annoy myself.

Calmingvibrations · 16/05/2021 15:41

Im finally joining you. I’ve reluctantly accepted there is never going to be a time when I will be able to sort the house (or sig part of it) in one go. So a bit a day will have to be it. Feels quite overwhelming. Or rather, my OH will just dump sh1te down regardless, so half the time I think - what’s the point?

I was nosing at a friends’ wife’ Instagram. House is immaculate. I think how?!?!

I think having a tiny house doesn’t help me, but I have to admit I think 80% of the population would manage it better than we do, so I can’t just blame that.

Currently sorting paperwork. Where does it all come from. I think it multiplies in the night when I’m not looking...

Nettleskeins · 16/05/2021 22:19

Amber it is really difficult when that shopping buzz gives us a fix. I actually do think the easiest thing is to treat it like caffeine or alcohol. It just isn't a substance that my system thrives on, shopping I mean, so I try to avoid it until I've learnt moderation. I never do big supermarket shops and hardly dare buy choose presents. Hopefully soon I will be better at it but until then...
I read a lot of catalogues but then buy hardly anything or plain nothing. The shoes were in desperation and I did then end up with four new pairs which I don't even care about. I wore a pair today and they made my feet hurt. I think I do it subconsciously, make shopping unpleasant to deter me from hoarding.

Down brilliant!

Nettleskeins · 16/05/2021 22:26

Amber I think it isn't about clothes as such, it is finding a way to give you the satisfaction that shopping presently does, without acquiring "things". Borrowing a book reading it taking time sewing something might replace the quick fix aspect? I am witness to the ability to hoard fabric and sewing patterns so yes you can most certainly hoard DIY forms of clothing or just diy anything .ie money saving eBay projects etc, craft materials

Doing stuff instead of buying stuff to me is the key, actually cooking or gardening or sewing or painting instead of hoarding the "possibility* of these activities but never doing them. I really suffer from that particular problem, the ghosts of things I've yet to do