The Hoarders Anonymous #5

[CherryMargo]

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Is your house/flat in a complete mess? Do you often feel overwhelmed and helpless when it comes to sorting it out? Do you procrastinate a lot? Do you struggle to declutter due to emotional attachment or decision-making fatigue? Are you embarrassed to invite people in?

Then you and us have a lot in common!

Join in for advice, encouragement and support. Here we share our struggles no matter how big, and celebrate our progress no matter how small. Welcome to thread number five! 🤗

P. S. Here are the links to various methods mentioned in previous threads:

The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

Still emotionally shattered after yesterdays kids pictures.

We have sorted dd's bookshelves and she did the top of her drawers. Her floor needs tackling. We have found a toy to send to charity once checked over. And have put some things away in empty boxes or tins from the he floor. i feel all teary, mainly due to dust allergy. And a bang on the head as something dropped off the top. Thankfully not the clay hedgehog. That has been moved to a low shelf just in case.

Wiped the top of ds's drawers. Found a half eaten bar of my chocolate. Not eaten by me. v nice chocolate too.

In the charity bag: one pair of spider man socks. One sports t-shirt.

3 items of recycling from the heap in the recycling bag.

Boy fed lunch, snack, tea. Girl fed herself. Used two short dated tins today so that's good too.

Welcome 52

Well done on the various bags sent to charity...

Also emailed a relative about visiting my mom in care home.

Rang relative about visiting this week.

Kitchen looks horrendous, need to tidy in there tomorrow.

@blackeyedsusan I know it can be hard to get rid of beautiful art works that the kids make. I've found that the kids don't always mind if we throw some of it away, they can accept that we've got limited space and we can always make more art work. They're not as attached to it as we are! It's ok to feel sad about getting rid of some art work though.

I've put my charity shop stuff in the charity bin! I could've done a little dance, it feels great to get things out of the house. I just hadn't been keeping on top of charity shop things, and now I've got my eyes open to anything suitable to go out. And instead of just thinking about it, I'm actually getting a plastic bag and putting things in it. Previously I have thought about sorting things but never got around to doing it.

Yay down. well done.

What I have done

1. My daily jobs

1. Another cleaning attack on the oven shelves and oven floor. It is reasonably clean now, but I am leaving the sides and side bars for another day!

1. Also wiped down all the kitchen surfaces including white goods.

1. Plus I randomly sorted half the stuff from the under the stair cupboard, no idea why I started that. But another job to finish (hopefully tomorrow)

I can’t wait until I redo the beds on Saturday. I read a great tip on Mumsnet yesterday. Just write in sharpie on the actual duvet to indicate which is the short or longer sides! I am doing it

And I am keeping the kitchen up.

Yesterday managed to get three black sacks and a carrier bag of recycling out. Two are sitting in the dustbin, one into the public bins.
Today’s unexpected achievement was putting something dc made into recycling. It wasn’t special or much effort gone into it but very uncomfortable doing it, but I know I need to break barriers.
Today’s been another black sack and another carrier bag of recycling gone.
Had to reorganize contents of public bins to squeeze it in. They’re as good as full again. Annoyingly it looks like two thirds is builder’s rubble being dumped, though it doesn’t look like many of the small businesses next to my old premises have survived to reopen.

CherryMargo I sincerely hope you aren’t looking in a mirror when it comes to the amount of stuff involved! Glad if anything I say is useful, I get a lot from everyone’s posts, and it’s really interesting how hoarding can manifest differently yet the underlying commonalities are the same.

52andblue Hello and welcome.

Hello... I'm slowly decluttering. Very slowly.

I've rescued 2 boxes of old photos from the garage. But not opened the boxes yet... I feel like I don't know what I should do with the photos when I see them. Any advice?

What's the nicest/easiest way to store photos like a normal person?

Should I try and put them in chronological order?

Another lot of good work for you all :)

Today I decided that I was going to deal with some of my own crap. I haven't done loads, but I sorted Dd's papers and bits and pieces that were strewn at the side of the bed (she's still in with me, and I need to rectify that asap). It was utterly disgusting down there and considering that it was done not that long ago, I couldn't believe how it was again so soon. It's clear and vacuumed now, and looks much better. I also vacuumed a bit of the landing, and part of the bathroom floor, also the cobwebs up on the bathroom and landing ceilings, along with the top step (every small victory, eh?). There's a small bag of rubbish to go out too. Oh yes, I pulled a bit more of my bedroom wallpaper off.
Will wash up before bed.

I've told mum that I won't be over until Friday so that I can do some more in my own house.

Hi chillied :) If it was me, I'd put the photos in chronological order, and into albums. I love photographs :) What do you think?

All this activity is very motivating.

Not a huge amount here over the past few days but better than none...

• pruned a rose bush (fingers crossed I haven’t killed it)
• weeded along the side of the house
• shredded a folder of papers from my messy desk (probably about 2cm of papers)
• threw away the shredded paper plus another large carrier bag full of non-confidential papers
• sorted the junk by the bathroom sink; 3 empties in the recycling and lots of dust and hair in the bin
• did some batch cooking, using up four tins
• hoovered
• read a book then put it in the charity bag
• washed the bedding and dried it outside - love the smell of line dried laundry
• sorted out a few repeat prescriptions

You're right Solo, you make it sound easy... which maybe it is. I need to acquire some photo albums.

Good luck with the photo albums it might be easier once you get started, I think that thinking about jobs that need doing is sometimes worse than just doing it. I've been guilty of just thinking too much in the past instead of just getting going.

Today I flattened a large cardboard box. I have emptied it. I've dealt with 90% of the contents. It was a mish mash of stuff, it's been in my room for two and a half years. Quite a lot has just turned out to be charity shop stuff or junk. I put the cardboard in the garage.

I think I'm going to be focused on charity shop items for the next couple of weeks. If my kids had less clothes I'd have less laundry. I have piles of clean clothes that I don't have enough room to put away.

I want to focus on clearing my hallway next week. It's a dumping ground. I think a small shoe rack would help.

Collapsed in a heap. Well done to all the sorting you are getting done.

I like the comment about the top step that came in a long list. One little step contributing to a whole long list. It reminds me that the little things we do will build up to a whole big thing.

Didn't get much done yesterday. Trip to A and E. All fine.

I did cook for DD. Used up veg that needed it.

Got a zoom meeting soon so going to cook ds's lunch then post what I have done later.

AmberItsACertainty
I hope I don’t sound too weird, but I do find it interesting that you did that as a child, and that it was allowed. Can I ask if it was ever challenged and what age you were doing that? Please don’t answer if you’d rather not, I am being nosy!
Miowse It all adds up, and yes to others activity being motivating. When it feels like ploughing through treacle here, it’s a real help.
Solo well done, all those small victories add up. I also like the idea of the cleaned top step leading to the next. Dc with ASD was in with me for rather longer than ideal too. But it was the only way I could stop them being up all night doing things, without tears and tantrums.
BlackeyedSusan It could be head hitting week! I’ve got a small lump from headbutting a shelf!
Chillied Hello. It depend if every photo holds interest. Sometimes you have 24 pics of the same event and maybe fifteen actually are different angles of the same venue etc and not that fascinating, and another three are blurred…Most of those ones should ideally go. (one day I’ll have the time to go through them all and take my own advice!)
DownUdderer
Ah yes that moment catching up on the laundry and realising the washing pile is acting as a storage solution!

Got another black sack together and out today, but mainly garden rubbish, and some mirror glass that’s been hanging around forever. Managed to extract a couple of large clean cardboard boxes out of the public bin and broke them down and took them to the recycling bin where they should have been and got my rubbish in there instead. A tiny win all round.
A few boxes now ready to go to storage but the weekend is almost on us when I can get help and get the stuff down, so need to focus on getting as much stuff boxed and ready to go as I can over the next two days, but I blooming ache so much!

@chillied

Hello... I'm slowly decluttering. Very slowly.

I've rescued 2 boxes of old photos from the garage. But not opened the boxes yet... I feel like I don't know what I should do with the photos when I see them. Any advice?

What's the nicest/easiest way to store photos like a normal person?

Should I try and put them in chronological order?

I scrapbook them. You can fit loads more per page than in a photo album, because you can overlap, trim corners off, or cut round eg a person if the background is bad.

You can group things how you want. I found with an album they just got put in by dates order. In the scrapbook I've got something like: childhood holidays; each house/garden and events that occurred there; nice days out with my ex; my besties and siblings weddings; family Christmas; a page for each niece and nephew growing up; general family snaps; pets; 21st birthday party etc.

I'm not a massive photo taker. I have the last 6yrs to scrapbook at some point. It's streamlined the amount of space photos take up and I enjoyed making them. I bought children's paint from the supermarket £1 a bottle and a pack of glitter glue sticks for decorating as well as scissors and normal glue. I'll put in eg birthday cards, creative endeavours or photos of items I've sold/given away, if they're relavent to the page and I wanted to keep the memory. I found it a useful exercise in letting go of some old ghosts too.

I've got one scrapbook and one scrapbox, which is a series of pages in a box. It worked out neater than a bulging book I couldn't close or store neatly. I look at them much more than I ever did a photo album. I never look at digital photos either.

AmberItsACertainty
I hope I don’t sound too weird, but I do find it interesting that you did that as a child, and that it was allowed. Can I ask if it was ever challenged and what age you were doing that? Please don’t answer if you’d rather not, I am being nosy!

Elleherd my childhood memories are hazy. It wasn't the best upbringing. Amongst other things we were parentified, then ruled by fear to control us.

The clearing out wasn't challenged beyond telling me to get the stuff off the floor on cleaning day, I put it on the bed instead. I remember selling some toys at a car boot fair at my primary school. I remember having a big clear out age 11 and that it wasn't the first time.

We actually got my mum to start when she wanted a makeover by us when she was dating again, said we couldn't possibly until she cleared out some of her out of date or ill fitting clothes so we could see what she had and what was missing. That lead to her noticing how cluttered the rest of the wardrobe was and getting rid of some items slowly until it was just cluttered not jam packed. She decluttered twice more on moving house, the current loft when her knees started getting bad and the shed as a lockdown project. She's still an organised hoarder but I think she now has a limit which if it goes beyond then she declutters.

Amber thanks for the scrapbook idea. It's a really creative idea, got me thinking.

Thanks all, getting me closer to actually opening the boxes. Instead of leaving them where they stand for ever...

Amber thank you for assuaging my curiosity! I’m always curious about what may make us act and react in different ways.
My childhood was extreme, embarrassingly abnormal, very controlled, and hidden, very much ‘seen but not heard,’ and doesn’t make much sense because so much centered around protecting either the hoard, or the hoarder and it never occurred to me that there might have been any alternative.
So I find it interesting to hear of someone reacting and addressing hoarding early and an exchange with a parent going on.

Weird. My parents - more so my mum was very controlling too, although I would say we largely had a good childhood. I call my mum 'gadget woman' because she has so many gadgets, and likes to try out things. Trouble is, she buys all the associated equipment to go with each thing she wants to try out, and then it gets shelved. Knitting machine, sewing machine/s, lace making, cake making and decorating, and in more recent years it's been card making. There are other things too. She's very impulsive and gets rid of not much at all.

Well, today I have gone through clothing. I have rags x 2 charity bags, clothes for charity x 3 bags. A carrier bag full for a friend's daughter, a small bag with knickers for the primary school. A pair of trainers for another friend's daughter. Lots of rubbish, and recycling paper. I feel like I've done well, but the downside is that charity shops are not taking stuff due to being overwhelmed by donations (according to Jeremy Vine, yesterday), so the bags of stuff can't go anywhere yet.

Okay, I need to wash up and put the rubbish out, so I'll say goodnight, and keep up the great work everyone.

Ps, I love the scrapbook idea.

Some days it all just feels never ending. I'm feeling like that today. The kids are still home from school for the Easter holidays so I think I'm just feeling ready for them to go back!

I've got a backlog with bags of trash, our bin was full and I couldn't fit anymore bags in it. Likewise with the recycling. And I've found another big box that needs to be gotten rid of.

Today I'm seeing the problems and not the solutions. I'm hormonal!

I've swept under the table. I've got a load of laundry in. I've wiped down two bookcases that were moldy. I'm annoyed and upset that they were moldy. But they are clean now.

I never came back after zooming yesterday.
Yesterday:
Wash up put away
Picked up some things from kitchen floor
Two loads of washing.
Started on taming the tomato plants in the kitchen.
Fed boy breakfast lunch, snacks
Shopping delivery. Received sorted, picked up by ex tetrised into fridge.
(We still order together as still avoiding shops as much as possible)
Cooked a proper tea for kids.

Not as much as I wanted but not as bad as I imagined.

The recycling with the pictures went down too on Tuesday. Ex came and picked a couple more out to keep. I took a photo of one and now they have been released.

Next sort I will photograph as I do.

This morning I have just woken up. ( Was up very late with Ds) I did just get up this morning, by about 5 minutes.