Fledglings Flying Frightfully into October

[EerilyDeleted]

A huge thanks to Mogthesleepycat for steering us successfully through September

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chatter along the way.

The FlyLady link is here Flylady. Don't be put off by the twee language of the site – we all agree that the underlying system is very effective.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead.

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around again next month.

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with marketing nonsense. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce baby steps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
• And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the baby steps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders.

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings Launchpad.

Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t. Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome.

SingToTheSky put together a glossary of the many weird and might-seem-a-bit-cliquey terms. We have been going a long time but we always love newbies - hopefully this list will help you settle in.

KCC - the Keep Calm Corner, invented by our lovely Fledgling SC back in March, where the OP posts nice diverting links, memes, questions etc to distract us from the pandemic.

Ta Da - instead of a to do list (which is of course welcome too) we often post our achievements, with accompanying jazz hands, in order to celebrate the positives, however small they seem! Sometimes if we want to share an embarrassed giggle/commiserations we also post a ta didn’t - the stuff we didn’t get done!

BRC - Bag/Box of Random Crap. These are usually formed when we are panic tidying and shove anything in “to sort later” which is also known as a stash and dash .

Power of Three or PO3 - the idea that if you’re feeling really unmotivated/overwhelmed by your to do list, you just choose three things to do, and then post when you’ve done them.

DLMS - didn’t lose my shit - in other words, somehow stayed relatively calm despite a stressful day!

SS/S&S - Swish and Swipe - this is one of the key parts of the morning routine, a quick once over of the bathroom.

Home Bleugh - Flylady's Home Blessing routine

And a few basics:
LOL - load of laundry
WM - washing machine
TD - tumble dryer
DW - dishwasher
HSL - hallway, stairs, landing

And finally "The Naughty Corner" - this is for Fledglings who perhaps didn't get done what they had planned for the day but are in need of a comfy seat, pile of cushions, tasty snacks, stiff drink and friends to chat to.

I love a bit of polite swearing. I still fondly remember walking past the office in my friend’s house and her very straight laced dad suddenly shouted “Oh... KNICKERS.” 😂

I’ve not been using much cash either! Honorary auntie gave me some cash for the Caglets’ clothes and it is still in an envelope 😂 I’ve spent some of it from DH’s bank account instead. Hopefully they still take cash in primark/peacocks as I will get some of the remaining clothes in town this week?!

Well today was my last day. No, I wasn’t invited in. Nothing.

Tomorrow is the start of the rest of my life.

Seems like a few of us have been successfully decluttering. So I went with DH to pick up my bargain chair but I also took a bag of clothing. Then I went to Hospice book shop. It was closed. Only open on Wed,Thurs, Fri &Sat. I had about eight books and I was hoping to buy the ones from the series. I found one in another shop later.
Went to the bank it was quite busy and first time I have been since Feb. Lovely young man has put a banking app on my phone😀 he is always so helpful. There was quite a lot of people but I coped. I was very tired afterwards I guess that is the stress of going.

BF phoned after we got in( by 1 min) and invited me up their. Had a lovely couple of hours. Walked back met several people, recommended someone for a job. Made fish cakes. DH had left over veg and I had two eggs. Sorted hens.

Watched a lady with ADHD and cleaners. It was interesting how they went about getting her to declutter.

Not much flying. Tomorrow is the start of the Big Declutter.

evening all, fell off

Took some stuff to the dump on Friday (rags, broken electrics, light blubs, hard plastic including old kitchen bin). Got diverted round to approach from the other direction, which was mildly disconcerting as we rarely go out on that road. Passed a sign saying "three hours wait from this point".... Only one car waiting when I arrived, and that was only because I'd picked the moment when they'd decided to do the compacting.

Took some other stuff to the charity shop (our pew sheet had said they were actively seeking more donations) and picked up a pair of trousers and another mug while I was there.

Made a cake on Saturday using the Stags Breath liqueur someone bought H for Christmas a few years ago. Neither of us is particularly keen on honey drinks so it was languishing at the back of the cupboard. Worked well in a cake, and in the mascarpone icing. There's some left so will probably do similar in a week or so.

Went to a PCC meeting and the church Annual Meeting. Still need to fill in the form for the diocesan office.

Watched S2's choice of 1917 on Saturday. Not something I'd have picked myself (H and I are currently working our way through Downton Abbey) but I don't regret watching it. Played Scrabble on Sunday which I won fairly conclusively, followed by cards (2s&3s and pontoon) which I didn't.

ToDay
drank tea, made and drank coffee, ate porridge
washed up from last night
reheated stock and stripped chicken carcase
hoovered porch, hall, lounge
exercise class
shower etc
put on washing
made lunch
wrote shopping list
did Massive Shop
put shopping away
hung washing
made curry

ToMorrow
go to gym
ironing
clean bathroom

S2 has had his first offer: ABB from University of Law.

Thanks foxes, that’s really frustrating about your hours!

up I’d love a big landing, with windows a storage but mines way too narrow!.

Sorry your day has been so busy sing!

I haven’t used cash for a while either ed I have no cash in my purse at all.

bower I’m sorry nothing happened for your last day, but at least you are ready to start a new chapter and had a lovely day with a friend !

Hi merry, it sounds like you’ve been very busy!

ta da
Made beds
Dressed and washed DC
Dressed and washed self
Fed animals and children
Worked
Made tea
Washed up
Wiped down surfaces
Hoovered whole house
Bathed DC
Bed

Not done much but I’m so tired

Ouch, Bower :( good riddance to them I say. I’m glad you’re out of there. On to better things!

I am intrigued by the ADHD decluttering, where did you see this? I think there is a strong link between ADHD and hoarding (guess who still hasn’t got round to writing the blog post on it...)

ta da
🙈rearranged plans with friends because I’m a muppet
🙈yoga stretches
🙈cooked healthful breakfast
🙈did my morning tasks from Habitica
🙈finished and printed the HE weekly plan plus some resources
🙈did home ed - I did everything today as DH not doing well
🙈put yesterday’s wash in dryer
🙈another towel LOL
🙈booked tesco order and added enough to get to £40 minimum (will need to add more though by Tuesday night)
🙈cleaned soup maker inside and out as it had been on top of the cupboards for months
🙈made healthful lunch in said soup maker, with Cagletini “helping” - she loved it too (sweet potato, carrot and a bit of red onion
🙈another LOL
🙈baked cupcakes and ate some and I DID NOT SCREW IT UP! Yay!
🙈got Caglets to hang up aaaaall the clean towels
🙈cooked dinner
🙈tried DS’ new conversation starter game we made in therapy. Mixed results!
🙈planned a bit of paired learning for the week/rest of term
🙈discussed half term plans with DD1 and DH
🙈kept food diary during the day
🙈finally remembered to put some stuff away in Cagletini’s sensory/activity tray supplies
🙈submitted ALL remaining questions on my assignments! Just need to see if any final edits needed then I get signed off!!!

Very productive day in many ways. And yet I’m still annoyed about my Ta Didn’t list - didn’t get outside as I’d planned, didn’t shower 🙈😳, didn’t prep a bit of work I meant to sort for DS to do tomorrow so I’ll have to rush that in the morning. Even though I did loads I am miffed because something always has to give. 🙄

I’m also a bit wired - came upstairs around 11, convinced I’d be asleep quickly, but I ended up finishing all my assignment so that’s obviously good but it may take a while to drift off now. I think I’ll watch one episode of Modern Family and then try and sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow I can get some time to myself after getting DS set up and having a phone call at 10 - DH is working all day Wed, Thurs and Sat this week which will be a bit of a culture shock so I need to bank some relaxation somehow! 🤣

Night all! 👻👋

Morning all
Bower here's to the beginning of the rest of you life lovely

• here's to the future, if they don't hold a leaving do for you we will.

Merry - welcome back, and well done on all the decluttering. We have to book to go to the tip now, they introduced that in the summer and I thought it would be temporary during lockdown but it seems not. I have never really played scrabble - growing up my DF and DB couldn't spell for toffee so it wasn't fair (I'm a good speller), now I'm the only person in this family who isn't dyslexic or dyspraxic so again it's not fair. So monopoly it always was and always will be

Sing - hope you got some sleep, sounds as though you had a busy day. I also remember being really shocked when I was in the car with my strait-laced Dad once and he told muttered "piss off" at another driver.

Right, better get up.

I hope you managed to get to sleep sing!

Another day of online teaching. Mom and Gran back over to occupy the littles. We may all go for a walk later. I am getting bored of isolating now though :(

Not being too Mumsnet at all Wellies - I would be furious. One of the coaches at one of my DCs sports veers a little bit close to this stuff too, I have reported two different male coaches to the relevant welfare officers in the past for inappropriate behaviour. Sadly some of my longstanding male friends blokey banter jars a bit with me these days too, I never used to think anything of it but MN has educated me.

Morning,
Thanks. She hadn’t even told some of them. I don’t think she will bother telling the parents. Some of the parents were at school when I was first there and even some that were challenging liked me. One dad said how he liked me because I was always fair. He had been in a bit of bother when he was there. We get on great now and he came on a few trips which he said was a real eye opener and hard work. Other parents like me because I try to be empathetic to their difficulties and support where I can. I won’t be having a do. I am going to send. A card this week. I wanted to take sweets in but I don’t think I am allowed.

So,
I am planning to gather up some stuff in the bedroom.
Tidy one drawer ( trying to do one a day)
Dust top of wardrobes.
Dust light

Do some of home bleugh.
Re sort small bookcase in the hall.

This afternoon I am going to start making my Christmas cards.
Make a list of Carols for a village project so why don’t you all tell me your favourites. My favourite is O Holy Night. I love hearing it and we sang it in choir so I know how to sing it properly now. It is a great one for the Sopranos.

Stag’s Breath- my favourite whisky from Blair Atholl. It would be wonderful on a Christmas Cake. Which reminds me I was going to start making them. One a week.

Wellies that not on. Poor DD. Some men never grow up.

Thanks for cake do pop in during the morning fledglings.

Sing I’m not sure which channel it was on I was flicking through. DH hates anything like that. The two men were giving her tips. A few too harsh comments though made me cross. She was working full time and had two teenage sons. They never mentioned to her that the teens could help. They cleaned several rooms over three days. Directing her to complete small tasks and aim for a corner of a room. The kitchen was a health hazard but they referred back to it to many times for my liking. It was on at 9pm I shall try to find out.

Right I need to get cracking.

Bower - I love Oh Holy Night, DD sang it with her school choir at last year's carol concert, it was so, so beautiful. It's on youtube, I have just rewatched it. Other favourites for me include Silent Night, Hark the Herald Angels Sing and Oh Come all Ye Faithful.

Back with links in a minute.

Tuesday 20th

Babystep 20 include laundry in your daily routine

mission - coincidentally today's mission is to tackle that clothes pile.

planning - is the daily focus for Tuesday.

Thanks Bower it sounds interesting!

Carols: I also love O Holy Night. Fun fact: I had never heard of it until I bought the South Park album as Cartman sings it 😂
Other favourites: Coventry Carol, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, O Little Town of Bethlehem (the last two especially when you add the descant!).

But my absolute top favourite which I only discovered a few years ago - O Come O Come Emmanuel. Absolutely beautiful. 💕

Music is one of the things that really makes Christmas for me - I’m not religious at all but I love carols?! I must get my piano book out.

I only woke up just before writing this post 😳 I need to make sure I set the sleep timer on the audiobook as I had crazy dreams again! I think I’m adjusting to actually having deeper sleep since I weaned Cagletini.

I’ll pop down and see how DS is getting on with his work but then my Homestart volunteer is phoning me at 10 for a quick catch up so I’ll leave breakfast for now.

Have a good day all!

ED is there an online Scrabble game, we could all play I love Scrabble too! My dc are too young for it (and I have a feeling spelling isn't going to be dd strong point bless her, dh is okay but maths is more their thing! Ds too young to know yet but he likes to spell out simple words even though he hasn't really got a clue what he's talking about!)

bower cheers to you (bit early for celebratory bubbles ) you are best out of it by the sounds of it

wellies I'd be furious too that's not on!!! Agree with ED I am much more aware of it now, I was so naive when I was younger and I am determined dd will know what is ok and not ok. Sounds like your dd definitely knows it isn't right so that's good.

Sorry for all my replies I'm trying to scroll back on my phone!

Also sorry bower celebratory wasn't the right word then I'm a bit all over the place this morning! I know you must have mixed feelings

I’m up for online scrabble 😄

ED Very timely. I was just stripping the bed. I didn’t do it yesterday as we went into the city to run numerous errands. Most important - the bank. He set up an App for me.

Foxes from what a TA whispered I think celebratory IS the right word. She is looking for another job. I feel a bit ...lighter this morning.

Sing good to hear you are getting plenty of sleep now.
Coventry Carol we sing at choir and church choir. Love O Come, O Come Emmanuel we have been singing that at church on Christmas Eve for years. We love it too. I like Rutter’s carols too we sing a few of those in Community Choir. Built up quite a few. Typical being retired now I could go to all the Carol things we do but this year we won’t be able to go. Built up a bit of a reputation so we go to some homes, supermarkets and in the city centre.

One of the more modern ones I find myself singing is A Holly Jolly Christmas. It is so up lifting you can’t help but smile.

I haven’t played scrabble for years.

TA Das so far.

Porridge for breakfast.
Washed up
Wiped kitchen worktops.

Dusted sitting room
DH vacuumed.
Removed cushions to wipe under.

Now on the bedroom. DH has chosen paint for his but if he thinks I am going to paint it he has another think coming. DS2 is selling a double bed so he is going to have that. He is also choosing curtains. I might remind him about the ones we have. I think I might also put some in charity shop. I had them up for the kids when the house was colder.
Right back to it.

Eerie waves👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

Scrabble is a banned game in this house along with monopoly. too many dyslexics and it ends in arguments and ill feeling. ds occassionally played with mum when he was growing up but she takes it too seriously. So she plays an online version with the 1 sibling who can spell.

Landing - disaster 101

Not too mumsnet - I would have words, strong ones. But i am on the fiesty side and take no prisioners. So I suggest tactful with key terms that are key ones to make most impact. Safe guarding, wellfare, minor etc etc. Amazing what brining to the attention in that manner can do. Someone made the mistake of calling me madam in a shop and then being totally condescending, unhelpful, and rude. I needed to return. first time i said i would come back another day, second i said i would wait for another member of staff. When informed they were only one working - they were told why i had refused to allow them to serve me the previous time. If i didn't know that the normal members of staff are really good I would be looking for a new shop. At the end of the day if no one is prepared to step up and say OI stop it, it wont stop. Good luck.

i have a huge list of things to do. And i dont want to do them.

ta da
prep for boiler service
Boiler serviced
mum's car battery on to charge
washing up done
Last tomato harvest done
pull up some dead plants
Run the chlorinated water treatment through pump to kill aglae and prep for pond disassemble for over wintering
Change light bulb and discover that i need to change light fitting. Will do that after lunch when I have found the part
deal with the quarantined shopping and get put away now out of quarantined
deal with random empty boxes
Start list of things that people need me to do
speak to work about stuffs (day off technically)
Discussed nephew christmas present with mum - she has veto'd 6 ideas because my sibbling has opinions - strong ones. Which is why talking to mum about it.
Made list of what I need to prep the car for winter because we have already had a couple of freezes and the gritters are out already prepping for over night conditions

to do
book parent's evening slots
Book appointments for parents
book appointment to pick up ds' glasses
write to do list for after work tomo -including college reg and banking
wash cleaning clothes for returning to work tomo
face mask wash
Laundry
ironing
folding
Tea making
tea prepping for tomo
sort through the tupper pile of doom and cull as needed
sort letters for posting tomo

possibly NOT drink more coffee as may have over done it already. Sorry?

wellies I'd have Very Strong Words,but like hills I can be a fiesty madam and as estrogen drops the less compliant I am

On sexist note I was out with lil zoo yesterday and passed a man with two boys helping wash the car.man said "put your back into it son,you washing that like a right girl" lil zoo was rightly scandalised and I admit I spoke very loudly so he could hear me about girls grow into women who are rarely as weak as narrow minded sexist men

Today's not going to plan

Tada
Fed cats
Wash on
Harpic lav
Started cleaning under my bed
Woke DD who forgot set alarm and needs take meds 30 mins before brekkie
Treated to mouthful and ranting as stressed by assessments today
Breakfast
Got yelled at as nothing in dd2 likes eat she could take for lunch
Went shop and got few bits
Wipe
Put away

Sort large Lego stash under D's bed-10 heroes type sweet tubs plus few plastic tubs and boxes.i sorted and put into Ziploc bags with instructions and tuck all into under bed crate that was holding his soft toys which are now in a toy net thingy hanging under his bed two boxes are too big to fit in so sit on top,but it's neater and takes up way less space as flatten all boxes and put into recycling

Sort dd2 lunch
Drop ranting dd2 at school at 11 ready history assessment

Find "d"p or whatever you like to call him has message me he's ordered stuff for lil zoo birthday and expect parcels...GREAT.he didn't bother full stop dd2 16th birthday as sulking I wouldn't break lockdown rules to let him continue visit as usual,and he's made minimum effort/contact either girl since.only reason has contact D's as he hounds him to talk/text daily...the rest of us CBA to..if lil zoo hasn't asked specific things she won't touch them so more crap be added to house and I will be expected wait in for deliveriesI'm FURIOUS.he was always about elaborate and expensive gifts but not basics of time and attention...

Rang doc.lil zoo results within limits but couple high end,so reception has booked her into phone app next Tuesdaymeanwhile I've told school she can go in half days rest of term...

Lunch

Nap

Got woke up furious banging on door.missed it but note I've not bothered to read is probably a parcel at neighbours for lil zoo.great.qyarantine that in shed and wait dd2 to kick off murderously at the unfairness of that.guess who will be coping that indefinitely....

Cajole D's to do maths online.doenside SEN learning lots disruption and he gets very frustrated by those muting each other,talking about anything but subject matter and for some reason ks4 subjectshave kids in year 8 attending with no idea wtf going on adding to disruption.it takes me over the edge too..no point complaining as it's better than nothing I guess whilst wait ehcp to get sorted and his forever school to be sorted

Also dd2 text me running out meds.i now need take 45 mins walk to doc and add in script order when it's now very dark out so suspect I go get wet.if I don't will be a gap of 3days no meds and without them her out of control reflux will make her even more unbearable

My to do list is still pending and as I have a daily list I NEED to do today's
This includes-

Finish under my bed
Wash my bedroom floor
S+s
Sort hotspots building on dining table
Sort under dining table

Then obvs dinner etc...

All with very sore aching joints(notably left shoulder/arm,hips and knees)they ache and shoulder has weird like electric shock thing going on to elbow.very very tired too

Can it be bedtime yet?

Dreading coping with dd2 rage tonight and fallout on rest of us.i totally sympathise how she feels but she has capacity to make us all very very unhappy treading on eggshells

Very slow day here today. Maybe I will hibernate until March 2021 🌰🌰🌰