Swooping into September - Flylady fledglings assemble!

[MogTheSleepyCat]

First of all, a big thank you to SingToTheSky for leading us through the August thread, (you can park your mop and hang up your duster now)

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chatter along the way.

The FlyLady link is here . Don't be put off by the twee language of the site – we all agree that the underlying system is very effective.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead.

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around again next month.

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with marketing nonsense. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce baby steps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
• And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the baby steps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders.

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t. Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome.

SingToTheSky put together a glossary of the many weird and might-seem-a-bit-cliquey terms. We have been going a long time but we always love newbies - hopefully this list will help you settle in.

KCC - the Keep Calm Corner, invented by our lovely Fledgling SC back in March, where the OP posts nice diverting links, memes, questions etc to distract us from the pandemic.

Ta Da - instead of a to do list (which is of course welcome too) we often post our achievements, with accompanying jazz hands, in order to celebrate the positives, however small they seem! Sometimes if we want to share an embarrassed giggle/commiserations we also post a ta didn’t - the stuff we didn’t get done!

BRC - Bag/Box of Random Crap. These are usually formed when we are panic tidying and shove anything in “to sort later” which is also known as a stash and dash .

Power of Three or PO3 - the idea that if you’re feeling really unmotivated/overwhelmed by your to do list, you just choose three things to do, and then post when you’ve done them.

DLMS - didn’t lose my shit - in other words, somehow stayed relatively calm despite a stressful day!

SS/S&S - Swish and Swipe - this is one of the key parts of the morning routine, a quick once over of the bathroom.

And a few basics:
LOL - load of laundry
WM - washing machine
TD - tumble dryer
DW - dishwasher
HSL - hallway, stairs, landing

Oh zoo 😭 can you call someone from the church maybe?

If you need to LYS at the kids then do it. Yes they are anxious and struggling. But they are also old enough to understand that you are too, and that you are breaking yourself for them. Get fierce - anxiety, autism or not their treatment of you is not ok (and you know I’m saying that as someone who does live with all that so I do see their side).

They need to help you, big time. It’s for their own good too, promise. 💐

Zoo- oh no zoo! You have had right morning! Sending you a massive hug! Hope u are ok? Xx

Oh zoo that sounds like an awful morning, you deserve to be treated better than that.💐 Please ask for outside help, it really sounds like you need it. Sing had a great suggestion of the church. Is there someone you can call from there?

bower thinking of you today and hope your situation is resolved soon 💐

zoo everyone else has said it so I won't repeat them but

Ta das
Finished work
Hung washing (optimistically outside may have to get it back in shortly it's come over all dark again)
Put veg box stuff away
Checked my dentist website to see if they are doing routine check ups again but they aren't , I'm well overdue an appointment but understand they probably have a huge backlog of urgent stuff. Strangely dh and the dc have both recently had routine check ups (different dentist but both are NHS)
Messaged a friend back

Received my new face mask, a smaller size because the other ones I ordered were too big, this one is a bit too small 🤦‍♀️

I've now got about 45 minutes before the school run, it's a toss up between exercise and housework but obviously I'm just dithering and may end up doing neither argh!

Nearly caught up with the thread! I’m not fit for much else. DH is knackered from all the travelling about with nursery runs and two bits of actual work outside the house in under a week. He has gone to bed... maybe later I can do the studying. This is why I feel guilty when I try and do something for me even though long term qualifications and a job will obviously benefit all of us... although I also worry at the guilt I’ll feel buggering off to work and leaving an unwell DH. Perfectly capable SAHP - he was for a few years before and was better than me at managing the cooking and housework frankly, but his health is far worse this time. Mum even said I shouldn’t look for work because what if I end up needing to do even more care stuff at home. IMHO that is all the more reason to work while I can, right? And as I said to my therapist yesterday, I deserve a life outside the home.

Bower I would love the salmon recipe please! The big DCs wouldn’t eat it but fish makes for a healthy lunch for Cagletini and me.

Pleased to announce that for the first time ALL MONTH I am up to date with the thread 😂🤟

Have taken meds and extra beta blocker. I think the uncertainty is what’s adding to it for me - I don’t really feel reassured or even clearer since the announcement this week and I think we are all painfully aware that further restrictions may happen but we don’t know what or when.

Foxes I get what you mean about the play date stressing you out. I hope it does go well.

Having not actually got on top of the planning this week for DS I am more determined to make sure I actually do it for future weeks. We have got stuff done but it’s been stressful for me all week worrying about it (completely needless as I know he is doing more than enough in terms of any required standards from LEA). So I need to get a move on for next week and print out the plan for tomorrow too. I have taken on too much in terms of different topics and resources I think so I need to actually make some decisions. Maths was really good today though.

Ugh I just realised DH is out again this evening as taking DD1 to dance. I have no energy to entertain the toddler atm!

Oh well since I can’t go anywhere for now I’m going to try and write another blog post as that doesn’t need so much focus.

So my bit of decluttering in our bedroom was totally pointless...I moved some paperwork from one box in our room to a box downstairs instead, there wasn't even anything to chuck out 🤦‍♀️ I thought the downstairs boxes were a better solution but I'm regretting now and thinking of moving it all back 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ this is SO typical of me!!!

Thanks sing I'm sure it will be fine in the end, just one of those situations I'm not entirely comfortable with and almost wish I had said no but on the other hand, she really needs the help and I would have felt worse helping out iyswim...

Yes you do deserve a life outside the home! If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out but you will always wonder I think...

I have really enjoyed going back to work properly (all be it part time !) now ds is at nursery, even though I work from home I do at least now have colleagues to talk to and my brain is engaged with work which feels nice. On the other hand i seem to be doing so much overtime at the moment I may as well just work full time and it's a tad stressful trying to fit it all in but that's just the way it is at the moment I guess, everyone playing catch up.

On that note, I was going to attempt a bit of work while the kids watch TV before I need to start dinner.

Be back later!

Would have felt worse NOT helping out obviously!!

Sorry still haven’t caught up on threads.
I resigned this morning.

My lovely friend invited us out for lunch. It was lovely a little village about 10 miles from her. Newly opened cafe/ pub. Great food including proper homemade potato chips. I had a J2O then thought what am I doing so second drink was a raspberry and blackberry gin.

No flying here today I have the rest of my life to fly!

Glad you’ve resigned bower from what you’ve said in the past it is absolutely the right choice. Hopefully that feels like a big weight off your shoulders but if you feel overwhelmed or upset that’s ok too. 💐

Evening all, lovely weather today...not. I absolutely love this rainy grey weather when I’m cosy in the house watching a film, but not when I’m out in it. I’ve been super busy at work, I’ve decided to prep for a class bubble burst so have made home learning packs to last for 2 weeks in case any students are off isolating. They won’t be hard, or completely compulsory as some kids may be too ill to do anything, but they’re good to work through and kids can do as much or as little as they want. I’ve also started putting home learning alternatives to the lessons when I lesson plan just in case there’s a lockdown and schools as closed (you’d think we’d be given warning but this government don’t care about teachers). I’ve made cottage pie for tea, a lovely winter warmer. I’ve also got our some of the hot chocolate, cream and marshmallows so will treat the DC tonight.

I keep forgetting to post my list. I am doing it, I just struggle to keep track. I will today though.

Fingers crossed for your job merry🤞🏻

wellies I was very close to LMS but I think I’ve lost any energy I had left in me. I did treat myself by eating a large bar of chocolate. Sorry work had been so stressful, I hate that anxious feeling.

foxes I hope DD’s knee has healed❤️

Thanks bower, I bloody hate cleaning the kitchen. Will be thinking of you today, good luck💐 how are you feeling about resigning?

Sorry you’re feeling so stressed sc❤️

Oh bless you zoo, we are here for you. Take some time out if needed but also chat to us if it will help. Sending so much love your way💐❤️

sing definitely look for work if that’s what you want, if it doesn’t work out that’s okay but there’s no point not giving it a go!

Onwards and upwards now Bower. It must have been a huge decision but at least it is no longer hanging over you.

I'm so glad you are out of that job Bower 💐

Hi I am up to p24.

I felt relieved then sad, now mixed feelings.I feel I didn’t really have a choice. I did sit there last week thinking I really don’t want to work for you. Union rep has been so wonderful. I have been so distressed this last week. At least I can keep myself safe which was part of my decision. I hope my mental health will improve now. I need to ring my GP to tell him. He was so upset for me because I have lost all confidence in myself. I haven’t driven the car for 7 months. I just stopped doing it. Hardly been out of the village. I haven’t been to the city because I didn’t know what I would say to the parents if they asked which they would. I have taught some of them.

🍊that is impressive a lot of extra work to continually be planning for isolating. The packs are a brilliant idea. I would certainly think parents and children would value them.
Ed love your cat photo. Funny how they like to interrupt.

Thanks ED & Lisette.🤗 might start on the soon. It is after 5pm.

Awww bower I know you felt backed into a corner. From what you've put on here though lately is they are just putting you through too much stress. Understandably you will go through many emotions, hopefully relief and happiness will be the main emotions you go through.

Bower congratulations with a newfound freedom!

Ta Da:
🎉LOLx3
🎉Kitchen blitzed. This included clearing out second cutlery drawer.
🎉Morning routine
🎉Downstairs hoovered
🎉Hallway photos dusted and hallway surfaces cleaned with anti-bac
🎉Most of the evening routine done (the rest will be done right before bedtime).

I think I should have a gin for medicinal purposes.
Thanks Hazel and MC. I am going to let DH do the dishes tonight aren’t I kind.
He got up yesterday morning about 10 and started watching a movie. I read your post Hazel and know where you are coming from. I get up have a cup of tea and start whatever needs doing.

Thanks for all the kind words!

Bower you deserve a treble . Although you must be reeling from it all, I think it's significant your first emotion was relief. Hopefully now the stress will diminish and your confidence will return in spadefuls.

Over and out again! X

I know Bower I haven't left my suburb since March and had to venture into town to go to the dentist. I haven't even been to the local Asda! I am prone to anxiety bouts so I was worried about being out on my own. Sounds weird but it's a confidence thing. Anyhoo I was like Buddy the Elf in New York at Christmas. I went to the dentist (did not mention candy cane to her) , then had lunch at the Art Gallery ( did not pour syrup over food), got a timed visit to the Art exhibits (did not create a festive tableau) and picked up a birthday present for DH (candy cane). It was like going on holiday. I so enjoyed it!

Waves to SC - did not realise he with long face was an 'orse. Bit slow here!

Pleased to report I have actually done some studying (thanks in part to some useful discussion about the subject matter on messenger :o). I’ll try and finish this assignment tonight or tomorrow.

Dinner has been nice the last couple of days, with the new table and chairs. It’s cosier and we have actually all sat round and chatted a bit. Immediately yesterday DD1 said “we need to do our favourite thing” which is from before when we would all go round the table and say the best thing about the day. I was so pleased she said that as I assumed if I suggested it she would be all teenager and think it was lame!

Thanks so much for the thoughts about the working. It feels so much scarier this time round - since the last time I jobhunted, we have started home edding, had several diagnoses of SN, had a third child, and both of us adults have developed long term health issues . But actually, all those things make it all the more important - all those listed things have become the sum of my identity, and I lost my actual self along the way!

But all the encouragement is helping :)

(Apologies bower if that discussion was insensitive given what you’ve decided this week! I only just realised 🤦‍♀️💐)

Zoo Hope you are ok, it sounds very stressful. Do you have any support IRL? Sorry to hear the panic buyers are out in force again, I thought we'd left the locusts behind in March. I read that Morrisons are putting restrictions in place again, and others will probably follow suit so hopefully that will help with the person who fills their entire trolley with loo roll.

Bower Hope everything gets easier now you have resigned after having such a tough time, glad you had a lovely lunch.

Still completely fallen off flylady but have done some gardening whilst the weather isn't too wet and cold. Decluttered some more chocolate.

Doing a little in the garden is great, isn't it Alex? My space looks much better. Have not touched the bench yet. Needs paint!