The decluttering one thing a day thread - part 12

[AlexTheLittleCat]

For StealthNinjaMum

We’re still here.

After 11 threads my house still isn't tidy!

So join me and a lovely group of mumsnetters who simply get rid of one thing a day and report back. Gradually we’re developing good habits, reorganising ourselves, often improving our mental health and having friendly chatter along the way.

So newbies are welcome, just check in with your news and join in the general chat about recycling, organisation and housework.

Previous thread here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/3799710-The-decluttering-on-thing-a-day-thread-part-11?pg=1

ALSO many of us have set a target to get rid of 2020 items this year and will report on that.

I found it really odd when some of the hoarders agreed to boxes being chucked with only a cursory glance or quick rummage. It made me really anxious and it’s not even my stuff! 😳 But I’m going to keep that thought in mind when I’m tempted to acquire stuff or slack off from decluttering long term - if I let my stuff build up that much (I mean I don’t actually think I could get to that stage but nobody does do they!) I would at some point reach the stage of having to get rid without actually looking and that is terrifying 😳

Can’t wait to see the pegboard meg :) that’s so sad about losing the recording.

I still need to read the other bug descriptions but I’ve decided to send the link to my mum and ask them both to do the quiz.

Also I’m tempted to post the link on an ADHD group and see if butterfly is over represented :o

I might gather some clutter upstairs later as I’m not really in a decisiony place ATM.

Oh and DS loves our trampette - a friend was selling theirs just before lockdown and I’m very glad I nabbed a bargain! I’ve been looking at a few things for him on Decathlon as well - anything to wobble on is good!

I haven’t been on for a week, ive got so much to catch up on.

School has finally finished so I can relax. I have started to tidy up the home school stuff and got back on top of housework.

I have sold a table and got an interest in some clothes I put on Facebook . I also read another book so that’s in the out pile.

Kiss I found the most useful bit of Kondo was the ability to get rid of something I thought I should hold on to, because it had fulfilled its purpose - I stop short of thanking items :o but being able to reframe something in my mind has been a total game changer. For example gifts I’d been given - I don’t actually need the gift itself if it is no longer useful or joyful to me, because the joy happened when I was given it. Keeping the item longer doesn’t actually make that joy last longer, and getting rid of it doesn’t take away the joy that happened when I got it.

I like many people really struggle with guilt for getting rid of something I’d spent money on and never used. Many get that with clothes I think but for me it has been books and home ed resources, and board games. It’s horrible to think of the money wasted, isn’t it?! But MK even reframes that. If you buy something you never wear, maybe its purpose was to show you what actually doesn’t work on your shape. Or it was the happiness and excitement it gave you when you bought it - but that doesn’t mean you need it NOW.

It’s helped me understand myself a lot TBH. Like the games - I LOVE board games. But it turned into needing to collect loads - I had pushing 200 at one point if you include the kids’ top trumps sets etc. Now I understand that I was channelling the sadness about not actually having much time to play them into acquiring even more - I couldn’t have the fun of game nights but I could have the fun of finding bargains and opening a new game and reading rules. A lot of our collection gave me happiness that way but now a lot of it makes me sad because they don’t get used and some of them I didn’t really consider enough in the first place and aren’t right for us even when we do get time to play. But there’s no point getting annoyed at the money, that’s gone, it would’ve helped make someone else happy via sales or helped charity shops out, and hopefully I can pass the joy on to others (we already donated a few at the start of lockdown).

I’m not too bad with needing to know where my stuff goes though, I don’t really relate to the people on the show who have to donate everything - TBH during lockdown I have thrown away stuff I possibly could have saved to donate or even sell but I had to weigh up the extra stress of saving things (where?! We don’t have a garage or car so storing and transporting stuff is difficult) to sort more fully.

Sorry that was super waffly. I seem to be very waffly lately! But not actually finding any motivation or energy to do the physical stuff. Too many balls in the air ATM!

DS was brilliant yesterday! He ploughed through his boxes while we chatted, and it turned into a very pleasant afternoon. He sorted and filed papers while I did what he asked with some other stuff, mostly to sort recycling and box up pc games, magazines, etc.

He suddenly stopped, and I knew he couldn't do more. I'll get the recycling sorted today, and maybe he'll be able to maintain this momentum. A fortnight between bursts of activity is difficult to put up with. But he did great yesterday!

That’s great mrsT! Nice that you were chatting too.

I sympathise with the suddenly needing to stop - I find I hit a wall. Sometimes I can tell, other times I push myself too much and get quite angry 😳 decluttering needs to be done on my schedule at home, if DH attempts it when I’m not in the frame of mind for it I get the rage (because I have to check everything so I can’t let him just do it alone). 😳

I’ve been quite impressed with myself, I’m now living in a static caravan so it’s quite a small space BUT actually, apart from still having a few more clothes than I need, I’ve been super impressed that all our stuff fits and it doesn’t seem cluttered. It has really focused my thinking on what I actually need and of course, the kids have left half their stuff at their Dad’s house (and I left a load of crap there I need to sort as well )

So, I’m setting myself a goal to wear things I don’t always wear and if I don’t like them or they’re not comfortable they’re going. I’ve already thrown a couple of Pairs of too big pants and a pair of uncomfortable socks. I wear the same stuff from the top of the drawer over and over and just ignore the stuff at the bottom so that my next mission, de clutter the clothes and only keep things that are actually useful. Oh, and go back and sort through the mounds of stuff in exes attic and shove it in mum’s attic instead at some point too.

Have also now ascertained that I don’t need to buy any toiletries for quite a few months I think once I unpacked I had about seven brand new bottles of shampoo and god only knows how many bars of soap.

Wow Pickled well done on getting your move done. I think if I moved into a static with the kids and all our stuff I wouldn’t be able to move at all for books let alone all the rest of our stuff. Obviously still have a long way to go Some very old sports bras found lurking in the back of a drawer have gone in the rag bag, some trainers (barely worn) in the next charity bag. Some kids picture books also in the bag. Youngest about to start secondary but they were kept for when friends with younger kids called in

Wow, hadn’t realised you were moving to a static caravan! I said to DH the other day that we should pretend we’re moving to somewhere smaller (like a canal boat or something) to decide what to keep, as I’m sure our house would look better emptier, but we would really struggle fitting everything currently!

We were considering a static at one point! We were on holiday in one and it was so, so much nicer than our tiny ill-maintained private rental. At that point we saw no prospect of social housing (it wasn’t until I finally accepted I needed to reapply on medical grounds that we got moved up to band A) and we were wondering if we could do the move to simplify. Even though we didn’t go through with it in the end it really made us think about what we actually need to live. Life feels so much simpler there!

I am entirely unmotivated to DO anything today

Pickled your thread about the caravan just came up on active. I’m sorry you received so much negativity and judgment at the time! I honestly think you’ve done an amazing thing to make leaving a bad situation possible.

Exactly that meg - it’s like the honey pot I mentioned up thread, giving the item space wasn’t bringing me joy.

I don’t think most people would even think of precious presents they’d given, let alone ask you or have a go if you’d got rid. And if they did the latter then TBH that behaviour wouldn’t be rational so it still wouldn’t really be your problem (although I do understand why you would be nervous about being on the receiving end of it).

One of the things on Hoarders (Sorry, one day I’ll finish watching and I’ll stop waffling on about it!) that really annoys me is when parents don’t let their kids get rid of something of THEIRS. Like not being allowed to get rid of clothes they didn’t like. One mum forced their teenager to accept a lamp they didn’t want because it matched the light shade 😟 once you give someone something, it is theirs to do what they want with.

It’s shame I felt too though because there were definitely times in the past where I was at least trying to persuade the kids to keep things, years ago.

I really need a giant kick up the arse today, I’ve not decluttered in a while now. And the supposed relaxed first week of the holidays is now over already. Gaaaah

I can see why you were decluttering so much PickledLilly! Glad the move went well.

Pleased to hear your DS made some progress MrsTidy. Hopefully he’ll be inspired to keep up the momentum!

A few random cables have gone into the bag for the electrical recycling at the time. DH needs to get on the case with this as the pile is ever growing! They had been untouched in a bag since we moved 4 years ago so I’m fairly sure they’re not needed. I need a system for storing things like rarely used chargers and European plug adapters. We have loads of the latter as DH used to travel a lot with work and could never find one when he packed so ended up buying new ones!

Shredded a lot of paperwork for DS, most of which was at five years old, some as much as ten. Rooted through a large box of discards for recycling, mostly more paper, interspersed with electronic bits. Ancient Nintendo and all its games now boxed up and labelled and returned to top of cupboard.

Rehomed two of the now-empty boxes for my own tidying and sorting. Weather forecast is for rain tomorrow, so can concentrate on sorting and tidying most of the day. Such fun!

Well done MrsT I love a good shredding session very therapeutic. I glad/sad to report that we have no great piles of paperwork waiting to be sorted anymore. Maybe I should save a months worth to have the pleasure of a session again 🤣🤣

Meg nowhere near the SE sadly as I would help out if I was. Today’s foray into the drawers has revealed another sports bra this time unworn but with a band size I will never see again. Ordered a new bed for one of the kids which is going to mean a complete rejig of bookcases and storage cupboard to fit. Foresee lots of outs will be unearthed.

Briefly dipping in again. Sold an ice cream maker. It was a present, and always seemed like a good idea, but practically had only been used a couple of times. Got another large blue IKEA bag of clothes I might try listing on Fb. Summer holidays means far too many people at home again to get on top of things. Also need to think about selling the house, but what does one do with all the stuff for photos and viewings? I can't bin all the big kids toys or kitchen things permanently but they make the tiny house look so cluttered.

Having a day tidying here as the weather is horrible!
We have a couple of things from DD's room to pass on to her younger cousins (have checked and they are wanted) who we will see at the weekend. I have got rid of about 3 pairs of holey socks! A few other bits have gone out.
DD has decided she doesn't want her scooter so I'll get it cleaned up and sell it. I have a couple of things I'm deciding whether to sell or Freecycle...

No idea keiki! If it helps I know my friend’s estate agent is being much stricter about viewings now so there are fewer (as in, they weed out the ones who are just curious and are unlikely to put an offer in) which hopefully means less stress!

I’ve just actually looked at a few things for the first time in maybe a week. Didn’t get rid though. Four maths workbooks - decided on two for DS to use over summer (saves me prepping any for him which is just bloody fabulous), one rehomed to Use Stuff Up Box (it’s more puzzly colouring type thing so it’ll do as a replacement for hanjie puzzles which I find useful when stressed) and one that I thought I’d get rid of, but I realised I can plan to use it next term as it really fits the way we work now and at 68 pages long that’s a huge amount of time saved. So although I’ve not got rid of anything I’m happy to have got that bit of thinking done.

It struck me yesterday how much mental energy it takes to have clutter. Knowing I have something but not knowing where, and worrying if we will find it if we need it, or if we will feel guilty for buying a replacement. Trying to figure out what to do with items we aren’t using. It’s all just taking up space in my head as much as my house!