The decluttering one thing a day thread - part 12

[AlexTheLittleCat]

For StealthNinjaMum

We’re still here.

After 11 threads my house still isn't tidy!

So join me and a lovely group of mumsnetters who simply get rid of one thing a day and report back. Gradually we’re developing good habits, reorganising ourselves, often improving our mental health and having friendly chatter along the way.

So newbies are welcome, just check in with your news and join in the general chat about recycling, organisation and housework.

Previous thread here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/3799710-The-decluttering-on-thing-a-day-thread-part-11?pg=1

ALSO many of us have set a target to get rid of 2020 items this year and will report on that.

Lots of decluttering posts to catch up with.

I've had a break from decluttering, as it was giving me mild palpitations. Concentrated on hardcore tidying and sorting instead. Swinging back towards decluttering again, and today it was one very small broken transformer, and a pair of too-small socks.

Just in now as I’ve had a few days off. School holidays are taking their toll already.

I sorted my DDs uniform as to what she needs next term so that’s some in the bin and stuff that didn’t get much wear on Freecycle.

I tried to tidy the craft trolley so cleared some general detritus from there but it still looks like a bombs hit it.

Though I did book my training days for my new job so that counts as productive right?

Yesterday's effort - one pair of very worn shoes. Today - yet more batteries!
Hope your move went well Pickled.

Armchair went today at 9am. Poor DS was really upset, watching the lady putting it in her car boot - he said 'I loved that chair!'

Oh dear. I knew he liked it for playstation time but no idea he would cry when it left the building. Now I feel bad. Hope he gets over the trauma soon : (

He's been great at letting go of toys and books so I feel rather guilty I've given away something he liked.

We discovered the necessity of black bags when throwing things out... we’d been throwing things in a waste paper basket, only to find the DCs retrieving lots from it. So now we need to wait a few days to collect the bits and throw them out again!

It’s surprising isn’t it, the amount of attachment to a particular item compared to others. And sometimes I find it changes - sentimental stuff especially, like the very few things I’d saved from childhood. I had such strong feelings that I could never part with particular things and then one day it was like a switch had been pushed, I didn’t need it anymore.

No actual decluttering today but getting a fair bit of housework done so there’s some stuff leaving the house anyway, and DS has been told to separate any clothes he doesn’t want as he’s putting his laundry away.

I’m trying to sort out my stationery and art supplies. Last time I gave all my excess to school, but no idea what to do with it this time as it’s a) the holidays, b) Covid.

I had similar LaneBoy with sentimental stuff that I keep revisiting and every time I seem to be able to get rid of more. I think I’m at the stage where I need space more than anything, as I’m feeling really overwhelmed.

The interesting thing is that months into lockdown and there’s so much stuff we haven’t used, so now I’m thinking we don’t need to keep a lot of things I’d been keeping just in case.

I think once you take the plunge with the first sentimental items you can realise that the item and the feelings are separate. And as life moves on things change. I have only just finished getting rid of all my uni notes. I hung onto them for ages (it's almost 20 years ago) but actually although they represented a lot of effort at the time that doesn't mean they have any value to me now.

Day off today so have got a few things out - one cardboard box which contained a router and some old paperwork and magazines. This is dwarfed though by the giant toy that someone has sent DS though!

Times10 I have to get stuff straight in the outside bin for the same reason. I have some items which were rescued multiple times!

@Times10 Lockdown certainly has made us focus on things that we have outgrown here. Made me realise I don't need to be bringing stuff in from shops/charity shops. We have more than enough.

I suspect this time may have changed lots of people's attitudes to what they have in their homes - love or hate, or just meh - prefer the space!

@Times10 - Freegle, old folks' home, local hospital?

Volunteer Centre or even local food bank may know of people/families who would struggle to buy art supplies.

Hope you find a good place to send them to.

I've also found the same with sentimental things, every time I go through them I can let a little more go.

I wish I was able to Kondo the house in one go and be done. I'm guessing it is possible but not compatible with lots of commitments (especially little children)? Instead it is an ongoing project.

Today's outs: a curtain track that may or may not belong to previous owner, I have no idea where it came from. Some cardboard boxes into the recycling again. Sorting the junk room, it's going to need more work.

Move went well thank you. I left all the crap at his house there’s a heap of things to charity shop, a heap of stuff to car boot and I still haven’t sorted the attic but I just ran out of time and the main priority right now is the kids having a nice summer so I’m not even going to think about it for a few days.

Thanks, I’ll try freegle, hopefully as a job lot, to get rid of things quickly.

We’ve managed to get rid of quite a lot the last couple of days, and moved a lot of furniture around in our living/dining room. The new layout is giving us the most space we’ve ever had, so the decluttering we’ve been doing recently as well as the work I did last September/October is starting to pay off. We still have a long way to go, as all our storage is packed, and we can’t fit any more furniture to store anymore stuff, so we need to be a lot more drastic to get to the stage where our stuff actually fits our space comfortably.

Finally writing the post I meant to yesterday before I fell asleep!

the item and the feelings are separate

OMG raspberry yes just wanted to agree with this. Like one of the items I kept for a long time was this little honey pot that was shaped like a bear. But it’s entirely separate now from the excitement of my dad giving me it in the first place. It moved twice with me and actually, the feeling that became more associated with it was stress - I only remember feeling anxious that it would get damaged, and guilt that it was getting dusty on a cluttered shelf. Even if I actually liked honey I never would have used it! And, it wasn’t even the bear itself. It was more that my dad had chosen something just for me. This way I can still remember those feelings but I don’t have the stress of keeping it and making space for it.

It’s a shame that on the Hoarders episodes I’ve seen so far, they don’t seem to say much about nicer ways to keep memories, or that less can be more. For example there was someone who had a load of bricks from their old school building, all wrapped up. I would now think about having one unwrapped and displayed somehow instead. There are often times when a deceased person’s stuff is damaged in the clutter and it would be good to show how if you have less stuff you could really celebrate those items and display them or store them in a nicer way rather than have them scattered and buried in other stuff. I wish I’d learned that earlier.

I did like the haiku (although seemingly with 18 syllables?!) the brick guy wrote about the experience though:
In clean, spare stillness
I rediscover my house
Clocks tick and chime anew

BTW Alex I believe MK has said herself since having kids that the konmarie method isn’t so easy when you have kids! I just found it impossible to actually gather everything in one go, we did do it with children’s books once but that was it (clothes have never been much of an issue anyway) - just didn’t fit in with real life/energy/time for us. But the book made a huge difference for me regardless.

Pickled huge well done for the move and even aside from the practical stuff for taking the steps to end an unhappy relationship! I hope you can relax a bit and enjoy your new home.

No decluttering or even housework today really 😳 I have exercised in the hope of decluttering some pounds and inches though.

I've been waiting to get a bag of kitchen things re-homed then my new pressure cooker can sit in the space rather than the oven top or draining board .
Some clothes , maybe 10 items .

So pleased to have made some progress .

I have two duvets in a bag ,(single belongs to DParents , King is one of mine but I'm going to take it back to parents) both been washed .
I'm sure there will be a duvet that needs replaced there .

This is the weekend that DS (adult) needs to crack on with his sorting and decluttering. I can't tolerate the mess and incinvenience much longer The 4' x 7' table in the front room is covered with boxes and bits he says he's tackling, but hasn't touched for nearly a fortnight.

I've told him that it's not about getting rid of stuff that he likes, it's about being able to enjoy the stuff he likes because he's dealt with his mess (ie chaos) and can relax and not get nagged.

I got up very early this morning, and will tidy madly in the hope of setting him a good example. The palpitations are back :-(

Your comment about work made me realise that my work email filing system is totally cricket Jigolo!

I'm with you Lane, a huge pile of everything of the same type just isn't compatible with family life. I also liked the book but have definitely cherry picked the bits that work for me.

Good luck with DS today MrsTidy. I think I'd be tempted to dump it in his room so at least I wasn't having to look at it!

Yesterday sorted out 3 cookery books for the charity shop pile. Still loads, but these are ones I have never cooked anything from and know I won't miss.

Raspberry. That would be a good idea normally, but his room is very small under the sloping roof with a only narrow strip high enough for him to stand up in. He also WFH in there. He has an overspill cupboard on the landing and his boxes were filled very haphazardly about five years ago during an emergency tidy, then abandoned on the top of the cupboard. A bit like my own strategy, but without clearing out the rubbish, or cleaning much of anything.

My parents are quite similar meg my mum is doing much better in her own flat (it was a case of “I love you but I can’t live with you anymore” so they sold up) and gets annoyed when dad makes a mess. He barely spends any time in his own flat which is still full of stuff - he moved in to the sheltered housing where my Nan lived. She died not long after and for a while he kept both flats as he couldn’t handle sorting it :( (luckily Nan was the opposite and her own stuff was minimal and tidy) and he moved his own stuff in there IIRC. I think without my mum and the wardens nagging him it would have got a lot worse. Mum OTOH is quite houseproud, still has a lot of stuff (books mainly) but is gradually sorting it.

Hoarders really made me think this morning (I’ve been watching it if I’m first up!) - it seems so irrational when they insist on going through every single item but I would be exactly the same. I absolutely can’t let DH declutter - even if I’m unable to do the physical bit I still have to sit there and watch. It’s just that we don’t have so much stuff. There’s no way I could look at a box of random crap and chuck it out as is. No way. My mum would be similar I think - a few times when I tidied my room she would go through the rubbish after.

Out: school uniform that is too small !

Nice to at least remove one or two things each day.

Took bag to charity shop yesterday. They are overwhelmed so have restricted drop offs to 2 hours on a Friday. At least it makes a good weekly deadline for me :)

What bits of Mari Kondo did people find most useful?

Like a lot of hoarders I feel compelled to check things individually...get attached the more I look at or touch an object and feel 'over responsible' about what happens to objects I discard. I am really working on that last one...

Yes, I said the same to DH with wanting to check everything. Pretty sure that’s a normal reaction? Or maybe I’m kidding myself!

No outs, but we’re enjoying the new found space in the living/dining room. We’ve even started discussing painting it (at the moment it’s just white).