Festive fledglings flying through December - the Flylady thread

[TooStressyTooMessy]

Welcome to the December (dare I say the Christmas?!) Flylady thread. This is a really lovely thread where we loosely follow the Flylady system (see the Flylady website ) in the hope of having organised homes and lives.

Every day I will post a link to the launchpad which has everything you need for that day if you do want to follow the system strictly. Plenty of options to follow the system more loosely as well :).

Please do familiarise yourself with the Flylady website, especially if you are new. The Flylady is (understandably) keen that people do look at the website.

On the website there is information for beginners. You can also sign up to the Flylady emails but we would advise not to as there are hundreds of them.

We post our achievements (ta das) and our to do lists and any other general chatter about life / flying.

Information on getting started: www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/

The launch pad is also a good starting place:www.flylady.net/c/lp.php

Fly stands for Finally Loving Yourself. The general idea is that short bursts of tidying / organisation are more achievable than marathon efforts. Flylady advises 15 minute bursts is effort but you can tweak this to fit your own circumstances.

Be kind to yourselves, jump in where you are and be careful not to crash and burn!

Any newbies are very welcome .

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Flylady also does Christmas missions which I will link to each day. They are really useful and nearer the time she does super missions which help you if you have not managed the regular missions. They are just there to help and as Flylady says... do not worry as you do not need to catch up, just jump in where you are .

Link to the holiday cruising is

here

December’s habit is usually [[http://www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/december/
pampering yourself]] which is much needed this busy time of year. This can be as simple as taking two minutes to have a cup of tea, if long pampering sessions are unachievable.

The website will update to the December missions etc in the next few days so I will link it again if it is different.

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A daily summary (which should update automatically every day) is available on the Flylady website at flight plan here.

The link to the current zone and missions is [[http://www.flylady.net/c/sp.php#missions here].

Re. zones, do what works for you. I don’t always stick to the zones myself and do what works best at the time!

daily focus

missions for the week

Flykids mission

beginner babysteps.

The best place to look for an overall summary is the launch pad.

Happy flying everyone.

Please note that while there is lots of information on the website, from a security point of view we would advise caution with putting any personal details in or downloading anything.

Also a huge thank you to Ghoulette for the November thread.

stressy park trips,taking our bikes(pick friends who ride don't whinge and expect you to carry the damn thing),forest/park/natural area walks with a list(find a fir cone,a yellow leaf,a brown bird,a feather,a brown stone) with a little sweet or something for winning team?
Building things with sticks,or using sticks to draw in mud/jumping in puddles?
Followed by a hot chocolate somewhere if it's chilly/very wet
Prewarn parents to be dressed appropriately.in my experience there are A LOT of kids that have never done these kinds of activities but really get into it if everyone else is.it burns them out,the noise isn't in your four walls,it's not expensive.i call that a win win situation(but appreciate trail kids in rain/cold isn't everyone's cup of tea)

Having sorted thru her school coursework thus afternoon I feel this is trigger for why dd2 having massive panic attack and sit on back door step crying.she doesn't want a cuddle or anything from me..I hate not being able to help her

TooStressy sounds like the play date went well. Reminds me of DDs 10th bday party - 11 girls sleeping over. Build your own pizza bar went well - shouldn't have done ice cream bar with a ton of sugary options though.. lesson learned - NEVER AGAIN!!

zoo the Brussels sprouts salad sounds delicious. Your play date also sounds like a lot of fun, sometimes the free/ creative options are the funnest.

Bower I apologise, I read it was your SIL, not sister. Although the older I get, the more I only want positive, loving people in my life and want to spend the most time with them. Just because they are family, doesn't make them automatically invited into my life. My feelings towards my oldest brother are that I really don't care if I ever see him again, he's practically a stranger and only gives a damn about himself.

I did a little bit today, 2 loads of laundry, Skyped my mum, went with SIL to find a frame for the diamond art picture she made me for Christmas (it's so beautiful!), she took me out to lunch as well so we were gone for almost 5 hours! I wrapped the rest of the presents for other family we'll see tomorrow and friend came over today to pick up her goodies I made her.

We played the Simpson's clue as a family and I'm almost ready for bed now (11pm). Hello and goodnight to you all.

hazelthe older I get the more I only want loving positive people in my life one of the best decisions /quotes I have heard on MN.a great start for my day.thank you for sharing that
Not a great night,dd2 massive panic attack so we slept on sofas...
As dd1 cancelled on me yesterday we see her today.hoping finish girls room of doom before she comes(due 1230) I may brave my bedroom too!!

zoo glad I made you laugh.

Had a bit of a disturbed night. Heartburn.

Good morning peeps! Hope everyone ok?! And everyone who was/is unwell is feeling a bit better.

The others have just left to go on a jolly to wreck2 (and to see dhorse) but I am here choring

Have just about managed to keep up with everything by skin of teeth and thought house looked ok but got back home (late) from restaurant last night- unusually with my glasses on - and it all looks a bit scuzzy and messy with all the Christmas clutter.

Floors are a disaster - everything seems to be covered in icing sugar dust - or muddy dog prints.

Need to have a proper go at everything today but just feel like sleeping tbh. Still, I am up and dressed now so ...

To do:
tidy up breakfast
empty wms and re-feed
start td
empty dw
tidy up kitchen
tidy up sitting room/tv room (did them yesterday but they have all been trashed again)
hoover floors again
sweep kitchen floor
thoroughly mop inner and outer hall and kitchen
write more cards (you can write them later here right up until after NY)
tidy office and wrapping station
try and do an hour in boudoir
make two batches mince pies
sort supper
wrap presents for when I go to wreck2
sort bed linen for wreck2
wrap presents for another birthday

I am feeling a bit up against it here tbh. There is so much to be done and Christmas and NY seems to create so much more work and tidying on top of that.

Sorry Bower I read it as your sil too! I'd try and ignore but if your sister brings it up again say something direct like "why the intense interest in my weight?" - then leave long silence - don't be tempted to fill it.

Hope you have a lovely day with dd1 Zoo. Sorry to hear dd2 having panic attacks though, especially during the school holidays. That sounds very tough going for all of you.

Toostressy my tip for play dates (fwiw) is to invite another mother/friend over at same time, someone you get on with. Not necessarily parent of invited child but it could be. Play dates much more enjoyable when you can have a bit of a natter too.

Good luck today with your family Willow

One faction of visitors are going home early Monday morning. The others were supposed to be going on somewhere else then too but are now threatening to stay for NY. Dh and I had made it clear previously we were happy to do one week of full on entertaining and then we wanted one week of the holiday to be alone at wreck2 as we have a sod of a lot to do there and he needs a break himself. Don't know how we are going to navigate this one tbh ... .

Mahoosive wing flaps to all... right ... coffee ... then I had better get cracking.

SCpark their packed bags on doorstep and pack your stuff for wreck two and stand tapping feet
AND WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU STUCK CHORING WHILST EVERYONE ELSE GOES SEE HORSE????have they lost use of arms/legs capacity?I'm sorry but I would be SERIOUSLY losing my shit tbh.everyone using facitilies/wants feeding they can bloody well muck in.visitors or not,mopping a floor/wash up is hardly slave labour and all chipped in you could all have gone.i feel utter rage on your behalf

Tada
Cats fed
Wash on
Bleach lav
3bags paperwork(mainly scribbled down recipessorted from boudoir
List of to dos for the day written(like tick them off and if need serious poke stick add rough timings to keep me moving!!)
Breakfasts
Wash in drier
Re entering room if doom shortly

I love that about having positive people in your life Hazel. Will have to remember that!

Bower I also think your sister was being rude. If it has upset you I would try to look it as she's said something because she cares about you - fitness is obviously important to her so she may have unrealistic standards and wants the same for you. Then I'd roll my eyes and ignore or, more likely, (because I'm a wimp and hate confrontation) say something like "thanks I'll have a look at them" and hope it's never mentioned again.

Zoo sorry your DD is still struggling. If its the coursework that's stressing her maybe having it all now sorted into some sort of order might have helped.

SC that's quite presumptuous of your guests! Can you drop a hint like "we are planning a pretty boring quiet new year mind". You do sound like a fantastic hostess so I'd probably want to stay too! If they do stay I'd reduce the effort from when they were supposed to leave. You can't spend the whole festive period running round after others.

Laputa we also did a simpler Christmas, it's been lovely.

Too I've avoided playdates so far other than my own friends bringing their kids. I'm not looking forward to the real ones.

So, while I was at work yesterday DH kept the house looking pretty tidy and cooked a gorgeous turkey curry. I could definitely get used to working one day and having a SAHDH! I got all presents homed on boxing day pm so feeling almost back to normality. I feel a bit cruel as I remember as a child having out presents downstairs for days, but I can't stand the clutter. Christmas tree and decs will come down on the 2nd I think. I've read the clean up missions and have all wrapping stuff and cards put away.

We've had a lazyish morning so far - DD is fed and dressed. There's a load of washing in and the DW is going and the curry pan soaking. I'd have done them last night but I fell asleep at 8 putting DD to bed

To do:
Homeblessing (in little bursts)
Wash pan and breakfast things
More laundry
Meal planning and check finances
Get out and about with DD.

On the subject of guests, we had someone to stay this year who was supposed to book for a weekend ( was giving a talk locally) but casually mentioned that they'd booked flights five days apart - never asked if that suited. In desperation to keep them occupied we asked if they'd like to go to two attractions - one was a concert and the other involved a train trip. We ended up buying the concert ticket and train ticket and said guest didn't dip into wallet once. Also seemed oblivious to us trying to get out to work. And the poor soul was going through a bad marriage separation at the time but was very tricky to handle. Anyhow we now have a new strict guest rule for all guests - we are clear from the outset about the stay before they book and we don't have guests during the week because it interferes with work/child activity schedule. Never again will we be in that situation. Said guest is apparently longing to catch up again which we are happy to do in their own city for a brief coffee in a coffee shop. We have house reno to do in future so that will be rolled out if we encounter any persistent nudges in our direction. I think you have to nip NY extended stays in the bud here SC. It's wrong to impose on people like that.

Actually it was six days that the guest stayed - almost a friggen week

Morning everyone. Thanks for play date ideas! Yes, KT, I think I used to love play dates as it was friends bringing their kids. Adults could chat and help. Kids had friends to play with. Usually happy. Now the kids are older it is usually one child on their own and the dynamics are very different.

We are doing home bleugh here this morning. As you can imagine nobody is particular keen to do it.

I hated playdates between the ages of about 5 and 10 (before 5 parents tended to stay, after 10 less supervsion needed and electronics came into play. Getting outdoors was always a good idea when possible. I stayed at one with DD (14) the other day. I'm friends with her friend's mum so when I dropped her off we had a cuppa together while the girls watched TV, it was nice to catch up.

One benefit of having a very small house is lack of overnight guests, we don't have a spare room or huge amounts of living space so guests are infrequent, limited to two or three at a time and rarely stay more than two nights. The lack of space is a PITA in other ways though. SC - tell them you are going away on Tuesday, no discussion. Probably easier said than done though.

Thanks for all the support everyone; hugely appreciated. Finding today a bit tough going tbh, but only because I am tired. Have been going to bed at 1am, 2 am and getting up at 7.30 am most days (apart from one). All of your comments help a lot.

We have already tried saying - very clearly - the "we are planning a quiet NY" - by stating it very emphatically - and in writing - at the beginning of the stay. Also, it is dh's side of the family and he needs to say it really. Doubt if he will though.

As to why they don't muck in like that Zoo I guess part of it is that tbh there wasn't enough car space for us all to go as they travelled by plane and it makes sense for me to stay here as they'll want to eat when they get back, part that they are sort of privileged people I guess who went to leading public schools and live on trust funds (yes really) so they are used to having things done for them, but I think the other main reason is that - if you don't ever host - you don't really have a realistic idea of what it involves.

To be fair, we were all treated to supper out last night which was very generous and a big help. But I find with a lot of guests, it's not the shopping and the cooking so much (that's the easy bit) , it's all the prep before of table etc and clearing up afterwards and the extra glasses, china, chairs etc the endless drinks before meals, coffees and teas, dealing with the leftovers, juggling stuff around in the fridge, all that kind of stuff when the house is already quite challenging! And the endless conversation and not being able to relax in your own home. I'm quite an introvert and I find it a strain. Three days I can do but after that it gets a bit much.

Anyway, I've had my whinge now so I'm good ! Thanks everyone!

I have only managed to do dw and wm and leftovers and dining room table hot spots etc so far so need to crack on again now.

Tinselette hope you can fend off that particular guest for a while yet!

KTCluck you sound really on top of all the Christmas clutter, bravo!

Zoo good luck in room of doom!

Tally-hoooooo! BBL!

tada
tree down
Put in my room with decs off it(and put the pillowcase stockings in with tree!)
Pulled down paper chains and paper snowflakes

Survived room of doom!
Dd2 now has impeccably tidy cupboard
All things need be hung up are,rest clothes neatly folded with like for like together
Sorted thru all boxes on top shelf and rejig some,some bits to chazza bag as no longer used/too small.ditto her clothes
Under bed everything pulled out
Craft boxes sorted and tidy
Damp wiped under there (and near died from dust cloud,so abandoned idea to sweep it!)
4loads laundry have been located...
Lil zoo side still pigstymageddon....

Now to search DS room for mobile phone that's been AWOL since 23rd..

Front room looks atrocious,good job only dd1 visiting or I'd have to cancel as mess EVERYWHERE

Meant to say Tinselette it's harder when there is an added dimension with guest such as in your case marriage break up and in our case traumatic surgery several years ago from which they are still recovering.It's harder to say no. Anyway, had better get on, floor mopping awaits!

Good work with the tree etc Zoo!

I'll let you know how it goes Expletive ta for suggestion!

Still doing home bleugh. Admittedly have had to work around Christmas decorations and with breaks for lunch, laundry, parenting and general faffing. Not exactly done in an hour though .

Yes you're right SC - we put up with it because there was much upset venting from the guest due to bad relationship but it confirmed in our minds that guests need boundaries because, while most are fine, there are a few thoughtless cheeky **er versions. Going forward we have new house rules to preempt any possible overstepping guests.

In an attempt at a new house start for New Year, I am conducting a religious house blessing on Ephipanytide 5 Jan, night before Epiphany - my first ever. There is a part in the blessing about welcoming guests but I might add 'within reason' to the words 🤣 Flylady house blessing will hopefully continue without fail throughout 2020.

That is a great idea Tinslette!

Can you try to use the time on your own now to at least have a mental rest before more guests SC, even if not a physical rest? to keep you going

Great work in room of doom zoo!

Yes Expletive, I have a way to go until play dates get easier I think .

SC, re hosting, I think you are right that part of it is not realising how hard it is. I’ve said on here before that I cringe now when I think of all the Christmases I just rocked up with just a bottle of wine to say thanks (and often not even that ).

We are going to friends for New Year. They prefer to host (I did ask and think they gave an honest answer - they have very young children so easier to be at home). I have made sure to put aside some thank you food and drink gifts to at least offset the cost a tiny bit.

I also only host small numbers and never for more than one night. I’d really struggle to not have my own space for any longer. Really hope you manage to get some downtime SC.

I’ve only managed a little bit of the home bleurgh so far - kitchen and dining room dusted and floors vacced and cleaned. Hoping to get upstairs done shortly. Living room can wait until tomorrow morning as DD is playing in there and has stuff all over.

I’ve dusted my bedroom, sorted finances and have done a thorough kitchen clean - cleared stuff that had built up on the benches, hob is sparkling, sorted Christmas food and chocs, and also tidied the pan cupboard, managing to fit in all the large serving dishes etc that we use for Christmas lunch. Normally they are shoved in the drink cupboard where they get dusty, become home to spiders and have to be frantically washed on Christmas Eve.

I’ve got a third load of washing in. Lunch dishes are washed. We’ve done a very rudimentary meal plan for the next few days takeaway tonight

Have a mountain of clean laundry to put away and will need to tidy the living room and DD’s room before bed. Happy with the day’s progress though.

We also had a nice trip to the park with DD on her scooter. All was going well until a seagull pooed on my freshly washed hair . I’m hoping good luck is on its way!

A house blessing sounds the perfect way to start a new year Tinsel.

Hope you’re enjoying your DD1’s visit Zoo.

Thank you zoo and KT no sense in wasting any of my precious time with people who suck the life out of me! SC I hope you can find a way to make your guests realise they have out stayed their welcome. Entitled people get under my skin! I would tell them you've been invited to go somewhere else and sorry that it was a last minute thing that you can't turn down. Either that or keep asking when they're leaving or of they can keep doing things around the house for you. I couldn't have guests for very long, but like someone else said (can't remember who now) my house isn't very big, no spare bedroom or anything.

I did my meal plan for the week, wrote my list out, including NYE fondue night shopping list. Will try to get to the grocery store tomorrow morning before work. I work today and now I barely have time to get ready before I need to leave (yet I'm still on mumsnet!). There won't be much time for anything else to get done today, but I'm not stressing over it. Might leave a list of chores for DH and DC to do while I'm at work.

SC, you are surely a saint having so many guests for so long. I really hope you can engineer the quiet New Year you want and deserve.

I have survived Family Christmas. I didn't drink, or cry, or feel bad (much) about Things I Did Wrong, although I cocked up DD's present from DM by advising her badly and DD is sad and stressed about it .

Tomorrow I go back to flying proper, secure in the knowledge that it works. And I will probably start with meal planning to clear the fridge!