Lazy husband

[Unusual123]

My husband works shifts
Last week he was on night shift and on Mondays when I'm away at work he has our children all day. So he get up with the children Monday morning and goes to bed when he finishes work Tuesday morning around 8 am. He sleeps Tuesday then wakes up mid afternoon then the most he does around the house is walk the dog and make dinner. Tidy up after dinner and puts the children to bed before going to work. This is the same routine for the rest of the week. He then tells me he's got no time when I questions him on what's he been doing all day
This is the same routine everyday am I been unreasonable

Got to be.

I hope this isn’t a reverse post.

They are so pointless-all from the perspective of the OP so completely skewed anyway.

How much of the housework do you do? You’ve mentioned that you do the shopping, but not much else... If this is the case, it sounds like you’re not actually managing your time efficiently, you’re having a jolly old time socialising and having time to yourself going to the gym at the expense of your husband’s having time to do these things.

Even if it’s only once every three weeks, expecting someone to stay up for 24 hours straight is awful. It’s even worse to complain that he’s not done enough housework in that time - if it were me, I probably wouldn’t even be able to string a sentence together let alone clean and tidy and whatever else is demanded.

Poor bloke doesn’t sound like he’s the lazy one!

Can only be a reverse, surely?

Your poor husband. You don't like him very much,do you?

I've worked nights and it really does take it out of you.

You want him to do all of the jobs around the house and go to work,so you can watch television and ignore him?

How DARE he make up toys for the children instead of doing something ''useful'' like mowing the lawn?

You don't want a husband,you want staff.

Yes,you're being very unreasonable.

Do you actually like your husband? You sound like you treat him like an employee. Do you think your time is more valuable because you earn more?

Kids don't have to go somewhere new all the time. My DH picked DS up every Thursday and they go to the same coffee shop....it wouldn't occur to me to suggest they try something new.

Is this a reverse?
If not, have you ever worked nights? Just reading your post conjured up the exhausted, shivery feeling I had almost permanently when I did night shifts as a nurse. Get a cleaner and cut your husband some slack.

Reverse, I hope.

This is not showing me in a good light.
Yes he work shifts and on nights he has the children all day on a Monday then goes to work in the night. Yes he's been up all day but I lose a half day on a Friday when I have the children in the morning whilst he has a couple of hrs sleep. He does the cooking a cleans up but so do I. We share the get ups over the weekend and then the next week he get up every morning with the children and drops the at nursery does a few things round the house and goes to work and I feed and put the children to bed. I lose two half day work wise that week and the same the next week. Yes he does share the cooking cleaning shopping and I do mine. I also organise our family holidays and all I ask is for him to take more responsibility

You see spending time with your children as 'losing half a day'?

You keep talking about you organising the family holidays, I do that too - twice a year - takes a couple of hours. It's not a big deal.

more responsibility for what? Admin based stuff

Sounds like normal family life tbh. If you don't think he's pulling his weight with admin tasks then fair enough but he doesn't sound lazy.

My last husband did nothing. No admin, no housework, no gardening, nothing. I wish I had your husband, in fact send him over.

Honestly, you seem completely obsessed with 'family holidays'. I feel quite sorry for you husband (assuming that this entire post is genuine!).

He needs to sleep! I slept 9am - 5pm when working night shifts. You would feel crap if you got into bed at midnight and someone woke you at 3am and you then had to stay up

Spoke about this with my husband who works similar shifts and couldn't get over how unreasonable you're being. You seriously don't know how lucky you are. You are clueless.
My husband says to you to do the following to really appreciate your husbands worth before he gets wind and leaves you!!!! I would!
So, if you truly have no empathy do this to see what it's like:
Work shifts like he does, she how you cope with a messed up body clock yet do so the things you think he should be doing.
You sound so horrible. 😔

Reverse

You see your friends, go to the gym, manage your time better than he does, book holidays - a lot of women would happily take over your life OP

Sounds like there a deeper issues than dh not helping out much !!!!

Can you clarify what you mean by "losing 2 half days workwise?"
Do you mean you work part time?

What is it that you would like DH to do that he doesn't do?
From what you say he does a fair bit of childcare, housework and cooking whilst doing full time shift work which most would agree is more tiring than day time work. You clearly already have time to yourself for socialising etc. I think people are still struggling to see exactly what the problem is OP.

Not sure why you keep banging on that you have all the responsibility of 'organising the holidays'. Whilst he's going to work, walking the dog, cooking, cleaning, entertaining the kids, and trying to sleep for a couple of hours.... And he's lazy? 😂

Your update doesn't make you sound any better to be honest 🙄

I also organise our family holidays and all I ask is for him to take more responsibility

What exactly do you want him to do?

I ‘take responsibility’ for all our holidays too-it’s hardly a time consuming role!!

Your update doesn’t make it sound any better to be honest! What more do you want him to do? Organise a couple of holidays? If he does his share of the domestic stuff and child rearing, what extra responsibilities are there to consider?

@MuchTooTired he does much more than half!