May our houses be uncluttered ...the Fledgling Fly thread.

[Shadycorner]

Welcome to the thread where we (loosely) follow the Flylady housekeeping system here to combat CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome) with a load of wine, chat and mutual support along the way. Quite a few of us have been on here for a while, so for that reason, we may seem cliquey, but we really aren't, and all newcomers, lurkers, returnees, regulars, and intermittent regulars are very welcome!

Every day I will post a link to the activities for "Today" which summarises everything you need on a daily basis if you want to follow the system strictly, but we tend to adapt it to suit our individual circumstances, homes and energy-levels!

Please note that, athough Flylady is keen for us to check in to the website, we've recently had a few concerns wrt security, so although there is lots of useful info on the site, it's best not download it or put any of your personal details into the website for now.

More information on getting started available:
here (containing baby-steps!) but please don't hesitate to ask if you have any further qs.

There are 4 levels for Flying:
-Baby steps - good for starting a routine and overcoming the perfection crippling effect
-Baby steps and missions - basic routine + more in depth tasks
-Baby steps, missions, and deep cleaning (if you are at that stage).
You can't clean clutter so don't consider this one if you need the next level.
-Flying combined with a decluttering system (kondo/unfuck etc etc) let's be honest fly lady is good for routine but not so quick with the decluttering results sometimes.

There is NO wrong or right way of doing this, it is about adapting the system to suit your life circumstances, which will be different from someone else's, and don't be put off by the barftastically twee nature of the Flylady site, the underlying system is sound. Feel free to ignore any step or routine that doesn't suit you or your home! No perfectionism allowed!

And when it all gets too much: come and take a seat by the fire in our specially adapted "naughty" corner where you can enjoy virtual and and lots of support from fellow fledglings.

More info follows ( but again, please note we advise only looking at the pdfs and not downloading them ):

** launch pad (general info) here

** daily babysteps pdf (ignore the ones that don't suit you or your home) here

** week day missions (some fledglings find it easier to do them at weekends) here

** info about zones (explanation of how zones work) here

** weekly zones (a rough weekly guide to which area of the house we are tackling currently, again adapt to suit yourself) here

** daily focus (helpful guide to allocate a certain day for a certain task) here

** deep cleaning lists pdf (only attempt when you have decluttered as you can't clean clutter!) here

Good luck and happy Flying one and all!

***

Also, a huge thank you to Toostressy for running such a lovely April thread

***

zoo mine is more like "Oi! You forgot your dog poo!"

Been signed off work again, told to rest. Easier said than done.

I've not subtle/passive aggressive but highly effective
Can you just sign off repeatedly til due maternity leave?
Can you get DC on board to help a bit?mine know if I'm outsiders it's all hands on deck,but then dd2 is older and more "authoritative" bossy so they have less options to slope off with excuses.
Not necessarily big stuff,but load/unload wash machine.put empty pots in sink/bowl.pick up stuff without a thousand nags even a little bit of help helps

*I'm out of sorts

Right enough prattling around,I have an hour before head of for pick up
Need wash all lower floors
And make quick batch banana strawberry muffins- using yesterdays recipe with some frozen strawberries I have chopped into the banana version.they only keep couple days,so best made in just a batch of 6(which mine can eat in one go so I do double recipe sometimes).these are a sweetener for a daily meeting to try and not return to last night's shenanigans,where I was ready to walk off and not come back..it's predominantly lil zoo behaviour,but I feel it's time everyone has a voice that's heard and we also need to look at things we can do to have fun together.its not pleasant being all pistols at dawn and ominous atmosphere all the time for any of us!

Dc1 is good, especially with dc4. He will play with him or sort his breakfast etc. The big three will all tidy up if asked although the fuss made by dc2 and 3 drives me insane. Dc3 makes more mess trying to help tbh. Dc2 is stuck in "its not fair" mode atm.

I have to see how i feel after my week off and request longer if i need it.

Relieved for you I've.

Guest gone. 🏳️ I'm surrendering for a while.

God home ed was mega hard work today, DH and I have zero patience as we are both in pain, and the Caglets struggle with actually being “taught” something (as opposed to just doing work we have set them and us being there to help). But due to their learning difficulties they don’t have the ability to teach themselves so it has to be done. Gah! I may have escaped upstairs as soon as 3pm hit.

Just going to attempt town quickly (bus both ways as I’m not sure I can manage the walk even downhill) to get my prescription as I want to try ASAP.

Family meeting can only be described as stressful.girls do feel life is hard,but not really open to change as no idea what want to do...as it is lil zoo draws and goes dance once a week.dd2 watches TV/dvds and revises.neither see friends outside of school,nor can they have friends over because of D's not coping "strangers in the camp". neither offer any ideas for family time or if want one to one with me.i feel deflated and depressed as I'd hoped for some chink of light as to how we reunite and laugh together again
Any one with suggestions,please run with it and share!!

zoo perhaps they need some time to think about it? Maybe they could all write a list of things they want to improve / work on both personally and as a family and then you could have a follow up meeting next week? And maybe for things to do some suggestions written down of suitable fun things to do at home or locally that ds can cope with and then pulled out of a hat at the weekend and everyone has to be enthusiastic!
For what it's worth the very fact that you've talked to them and asked their opinion is great, they will remember that later honestly

Ta da
15 minutes bedroom decluttering
More laundry (due to more poo incidents!)
Dishwasher emptied and reloaded
1.5 hours of work while dh did school run and entertained the dc for a little while (he is in full on study mode at the moment so can't help as much)
Started dinner - lamb chops, roast potatoes and carrots and probably some peas. And the also randomly some stuffing balls for the dc because I had some left and they love them and me and dh want the chops to ourselves

Poo incidents not mine btw ds still not mastered poos on the toilet!

Ds when asked if he wanted to do something over half term looked at me, rolled his eyes, and declared that he was a teenager and why would he want to spend time doing stuff. we agreed he is going to his father's - who has time he can take off work. Which is better as I have to work and would just be running myself ragged trying to do all the things. At least this way I know ds will do something other than computer gaming.

Otoh ds left a note to say he would be back at 5pm, it is gone half past and he is not home. Words will be exchanged on the matter as we were supposed to be going out early together to get some stuff he needs doing done. Bloody teenagers!

ta da
uniforms mostly dry for the day
1 extra load of washing done
car into garage and back out again
put new to me car hunting on the to do list
curl up in bed for half hour and instantly regret it as now no longer want to do anything.

to do
more than I even want to think about.

Boots didn’t even have my tablets 😭😭😭 that was a waste of energy

Gah, lost a post. Was just catching up and saying zoo bloody well done for having that meeting. It is not easy to confront things like that, and I totally get you on the feeling like there is no fun :( hopefully they will think on it and come up with ideas.

And sc I am proud of you for standing up against pisstake guests this year! They don’t deserve you bending over backwards for them.

I’m still annoyed about lack of medication, diclofenac isn’t exactly a rare thing so I really thought a huge flagship store wouldn’t need to order it in! :( Epic joint pain still, I also felt too dizzy to risk swimming alone.

Glad you have some time off ive

God home ed was mega hard work today, DH and I have zero patience as we are both in pain, and the Caglets struggle with actually being “taught” something (as opposed to just doing work we have set them and us being there to help). But due to their learning difficulties they don’t have the ability to teach themselves so it has to be done. Gah! I may have escaped upstairs as soon as 3pm hit.

Just going to attempt town quickly (bus both ways as I’m not sure I can manage the walk even downhill) to get my prescription as I want to try ASAP.

Oh ffs ignore that last post, the iPad was stuck on it for some reason so just refreshed itself and reposted 🤔🙄

Where is everyone?!

Behind you Cags

Sorry to hear of the pain.

DD (and possibly me as well) now going down with a cold and she is worried about it because of something happening at the end of the week. Tomorrow morning may be fun.

Did some thorough vacuuming today, took me almost as long to empty the canister and cut all the hair off the brush afterwards!

Been awake since 5.00am today so going to try to sleep a bit more tonight.

Had an email about a summer activity for DD (week long thing), DD not impressed as 'it's meant to be a holiday from stuff like that' although DH thinks it would be better for her to go out and do it. Some negotiation may be required here and it's not even a definite thing yet, they are just testing the water! Gets a bit harder to find stuff to do as they get older.

Hope you track down the tablets tomorrow Cag. It's not exactly a rare prescription so you'd expect to be able to collect them no problem.

Good morning all! Sorry not to get back on here last night. Had someone drop in for supper and I felt really tired afterwards. Still have vestiges of virus. And can really sympathise with you and your DD Chic as DD had this flu thing and felt better, but now has a secondary infection. She made it to school yesterday but not sure if she will today as she has been up in the night feeling rotten. Hope you are both ok! And hope your DD makes it to her event at the end of the week!

Hills and Chic I hear you about it being harder to occupy "onlys" in the holidays as they get older. I am currently encouraging DD to apply for some volunteering roles as she is too young to work yet. And she hates turning up to organised activities alone so she tends to pair up with a friend if she signs up for anything like that.

Hope you are ok Cag and that you managed to get your meds. It's horrible to think of you in such pain. And, having had a version of dizziness (which thankfully went away) , I really do not envy you that either as it can make you feel so unconfident about going out anywhere. I hope you feel much better soon. Thanks for kind words re: visitors. My plans for a guest free summer may well be scuppered yet but I am going to atfempt to make a stand this year!

I hope your DS turned up eventually Hills!

And there aren't too many more poo incidents to cope with today Foxes!

Really good to read you've been signed off I've go steady!

Well done re: family meeting Zoo! That sounds hard for your girls not seeing friends. If reciprocation is the issue, then I wouldn't be too scrupulous about it because DD often has people over who can't reciprocate often for reasons of location/parents have demanding jobs/large families with hectic schedules and its fine. We never mind because it's just a fact of life that it's easier for us to host (being a smaller unit) ifyswim. So could your girls hone in on some lonely onlies maybe? Also, I know your DS would be very anxious the first time a new friend came around but would there be anyone quiet he could get to tolerate over time who came over so often they become like part of the family ifyswim? As for holiday activities, if your ds is fond of nature, could you all go camping together fairly locally? Even just for a day and night might make a difference? Or in the garden? Or could you all plant up some beans, squashes, sunflowers and grow those together or competitively maybe? Or do a garden transformation project together? Also, is there anything that you would like to do? I know this sounds awful - child centred activities are obviously great - but sometimes I think its good to have a balance and DC benefit from just rollicking along with a parent every now and then without too much choice in the matter. I got dragged to local antique fairs and church events, exhibitions and fund raising things with my parents (1970s benign neglect parenting model ie you weren't consulted you just went along to what your parents were doing!) and although some of them I found rather boring, there was always some bits I enjoyed. I think it's important to model to your DC that you as an adult are having a good time too ifyswim. Tweens/teens can be so suspicious of "new" things I find, so sometimes I just say "come on we are going to X, and we'll get some chips on the way back" to cajole DD out of her comfort zones! And although she's reluctant at first, she usually quite enjoys being dragged places in the end! Sorry if I'm talking through my hat though! These are just thoughts off the top of my head, so maybe entirely unsuitable!

Waves to everyone else!

Hope you get your meds sorted today cag
Chic hope you and DD aren't suffering too much today.colds on warmer days are the worst
Foxes dinner sounds yum.i automatically assume D's was the one with poo issues
Hills hope D's appeared and things got done.reliability is not a teen forte and it's bloody frustrating

Thanks everyone for kind words re family meeting.on reflection I guess putting them on the spot was unfair to expect a list of we want to do this...I've text dd1 about occasional sleepovers at hers for the girls as "respite" and a chance to just relax and have fun and she's up for that,so that's one thing accomplished.
Lil zoo agreed to start a puzzle yesterday,so we got a 1000pc kittens on bookshelf one out with jigroll and set to work.harder than it looked we will have a fair few goes to get anywhere I think!!managed edges and a few bits before I made dinner.i tried text her friends mum to see if they could go to the park after-school for an hour.no reply.she was bitterly disappointed come bedtime.heyho,can't make everyone happy all of the time virtually ever here

DS has camhs I have physio today and need top up shop so uncertain how much flying will get done..

Forgot link!

🌼 pad link here [[http://www.flylady.net/c/lp.php]] containing today's flight plan. Best just to read and not download!

Xposts SC
I'm open to all ideas except camping
When dp around it's easier as we can utilise the car for expeditions to new places to walk as given devices they will happily roam and take photos,but we are limited as public transport ain't an option when it's just me..
Love the planting idea btw.might have to see where we could acquire some very cheapseeds/plants

Right I need shift these old bones into gear!

I'm secretly with you re: camping Zoo

An elderly neighbour in the countr turned his entire lawn over to pumpkin growing last year! He planted seedlings that had been grown on a bit (avoids too much slug damage) in the ground surrounded by mounds of gravel (can also use straw). It looked spectacular, especially as they were all different varieties!

I don’t even try to hide my feelings about camping. I despise it .

Not managed to get up yet. DD’s bestie will be here in under an hour, good thing she’s used to the mess really! Even the little shelf on Cagletini’s new easel is becoming a clutter magnet, from here I can see a wooden bird, a get well soon card FIL sent DD for her fractured thumb, a tiny pot of Sudocrem and a cuddly Mog. WTF. Nowhere is safe! 😳

Problem is now DH is on a new medication that makes it very difficult to wake up as well. Between us we are screwed. Really trying not to panic about how we are going to manage anything again, like, ever!

Anyway, need to make sure the Caglets get some of their daily work done in the next half hour or so, then they can play for a while. During that time I can plan the “lessons” properly for when the other friend arrives after lunch for group work. Eeeek.