Can I come in please?
I've been reading for some time wanting to ask but scared to say that I have, and am working away at, a really large hoarding problem.
It's partly because I'm not sure if it and my problems might be considered too big for this thread but Finite Sagacity's
post has given me courage.
I was also raised by a hoarder, in a very squalid situation. I'm now also a hoarder and hate it. I've struggled with the amount of stuff I couldn't let go off for a long time but had always managed to keep on top of keeping things clean, if a bit abnormal.
The pandemic instantly wiped out my income and I had to suddenly move out of business premises as well as not able to afford heat anymore, and couldn't access the dump.
Over the last twelve months there's been sewage flooding, burst pipes, water leak, serious illness and hospitalisation, and too much huddling under the duvet praying for warmth and for it all to go away, and although I've managed to clear up the worst of each disaster, bit by bit all the ingredients have lined up ready for one more thing to strike that could turn an already difficult situation into a disgusting one.
I've suffered shame and low self esteem around hoarding since I was a young child and the first 'discovery' from 'outside' and things that happened as a result.
Shame is one of the things that keeps us locked in the cycle. No one sets out to develop hoarding disorder. It may be there are things to be ashamed of, but it needs to at the very least be put aside, to progress and to change things, and yes most workman will have seen it all before and far worse.
Finite Sagacity, thank you for posting and well done you for sucking it up, letting people in and getting things fixed! That's a huge step towards you and your families better future. What workmen may or may not think is of no consequence in reality, your progress and moving forward is what counts.
My yesterday and today was spent cleaning mould spots from walls and ceiling and the beginnings of mildew in my wardrobe as the combined result of a burst pipe and cold. (the previous week was spent clearing enough space to do it!) Five items of wanted clothing suffering mildew spots washed and reasonably dried, and now airing. I'd love to do the lot in one hit, but washer/dryer died as well, so back to basics, and no way of ensuring lots dry enough, so it has to be in batches.
Two jumpers, two t-shirts and a skirt earmarked for going. A third of a carpet hard hoovered and combed to find every last trace left behind by previous moths having a field day.