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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

BAD HOUSEKEEPING: The Non-Domestic Mumsnetter's Guide to NOT doing housework

65 replies

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 13:33

Thought we could all (well not ALL of us obviously.. Flyladies and cod may want to steer clear )..put our lazy-arse labour-saving tips on here.. I have several (they also serve as "justifications to spend time Mumsnetting) ...

My first relates to

IRONING: I have found that some items of my laundry spend such an excessive amount of time in my ironing pile, beneath such an excessively-heavy stack of clothes, that when dragged out of the bottom to wear, they have already been "self ironed flat" from the weight!

Woo hoo!

OP posts:
fryalot · 03/05/2007 13:34

I'm liking that one.

My favourite tip of all time (seen on another site) was:

Put old socks on your children... spray polish laminate floor... tell the children it's skating time!

Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 13:36

CARPET CLEANING: Babywipes seem to do a creditable job of working out ground-in food chunks

OP posts:
littlemissbossy · 03/05/2007 13:37

Bin your clothes and buy new ones - saves on the washing and ironing

littlemissbossy · 03/05/2007 13:39

an old favourite of mine
do one quick spray and dust over of mr sheen in one particular area only, nearish to the entrance just before your DH comes home - the smell goes a long way and he'll think you've been cleaning for hours!

FiveFingeredFiend · 03/05/2007 13:40

shove all paperwork in all the drawers. When you have emptied all draws looking for a bank statement becuase of previous time saving tidy of 'drawer shoving' gather all paperwork and kick it underneath that kitchen cabinet that never had its plinth fixed.

fryalot · 03/05/2007 13:40

FFF - you've been to my house then

Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 13:41

ANOTHER FOR "WHEN DH COMES IN AND YOU'VE BEEN MN-ING MOST OF THE DAY"...

Have a load of washing blowing on the line, another load on, and the ironing board out. Ok so bit of effort (and absence from the PC ) involved in putting washing out/washing back on but overall impession is of someone who has been "slaving over the laundry all day..."

OP posts:
ahundredtimes · 03/05/2007 13:43

Fill washing-up bowl in sink with hot water and disinfectant and just leave it there. It's amazing how persuasive the smell of disinfectant is - can delude you and visitors into thinking kitchen spotlessly clean.

fryalot · 03/05/2007 13:44

I have been known to occasionally take perfectly good clothes out of drawers and wardrobes, moan about the pile of ironing I have, then gone upstairs, put them away very quickly and read a book for an hour in peace and quiet

WanderingTrolley · 03/05/2007 13:46

Close all the curtains and remove all the light bulbs.

Voila! No one can tell how filthy is your hovel.

If your family insist on illumation, wear sunglasses indoors. This has the added benefit of making you look very cool indeed

littlemissbossy · 03/05/2007 13:48

I'm liking squonk's idea

Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 13:48

PMSL Squonk.. love it..

I long sufferingly drag myself upstairs to study leaving DH trying simultaneously cook dinner/handle kids and their spats..

..and fall asleep for an hour. Wake up dribbling onto book.

Not strictly intentional tho.. and more "course work" than "housework" related..

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley · 03/05/2007 13:48

Don't do any housework for a year.

Save all the money you might spend on polish etc.

After 12 months, if you haven't died, get the cleaners in for a one day spectacular.

Sadly explain the house belongs to a distant cousin, who was a slut.

WanderingTrolley · 03/05/2007 13:50

(What is this 'ironing' of which you speak?)

Never buy clothes that are labelled:

Dry clean only
Wool wash only
For best results, iron on ...

Buy clothes labelled:

Drip dry
No need to iron
Repels stains

Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 13:51

Wash up using babywipes

Polish with babywipes

"Bath" the kids and the dog using babywipes

OP posts:
Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 13:58

PERSONAL CARE: Have your own and the kids' hair put into dreads. Stress out DH so much that his falls out. Saving money on shampoo and time on washing/styling

OP posts:
MissRible · 03/05/2007 13:58

make the effort to get one room looking immaculate, then shut the door and don't use it ... ever

No more housework

Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 13:59

Buy a dog and install it under the table during meals. Instant waste disposal.

OP posts:
numptysmummy · 03/05/2007 14:01

Aren't babywipes amazing?? I do all my cleaning with them. Kinda makes u wonder how they don't remove babies skin tho.

suejonez · 03/05/2007 14:01

When people call say "Oh I'm sorry about the mess, we've just moved in"

Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 14:03

Yes babywipes do seem to be quite potent! Have you ever wiped YOUR bits with them????!!! Poor babies indeed...

OP posts:
fryalot · 03/05/2007 14:03

suejonez - I used that one for months, until someone said "yeah, you said that when I came last year as well" so I stopped using it

suejonez · 03/05/2007 14:05

hmm it does have a life span of about 18 months in my experience...

numptysmummy · 03/05/2007 14:05

My house is normally such a shed that my dh is impressed by the smallest things - like having clean underwear for more than 2 days in succesion. Am then told what fab wife,mother etc!

WanderingTrolley · 03/05/2007 14:06

"...we've been burgled"

"...I left my husband/partner/local criminal in charge for a morning and..."

"...kids, eh?"

"...I'm very drunk."