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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

BAD HOUSEKEEPING: The Non-Domestic Mumsnetter's Guide to NOT doing housework

65 replies

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 13:33

Thought we could all (well not ALL of us obviously.. Flyladies and cod may want to steer clear )..put our lazy-arse labour-saving tips on here.. I have several (they also serve as "justifications to spend time Mumsnetting) ...

My first relates to

IRONING: I have found that some items of my laundry spend such an excessive amount of time in my ironing pile, beneath such an excessively-heavy stack of clothes, that when dragged out of the bottom to wear, they have already been "self ironed flat" from the weight!

Woo hoo!

OP posts:
Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 14:06

PMSL Wanderingtrolley..

OP posts:
Original poster
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/05/2007 14:07

Why not just.... "but I'm a slut..".. or do you think they might get wrong idea re different definitions of "slut"?

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 03/05/2007 14:09

Lol these are funny, loved the stress dh so his hair falls out one

numptysmummy · 03/05/2007 14:13

There's always the old "got new cleaner - gonna have to let her go i think" ...

Jelley · 03/05/2007 14:15

If I ever ironed, I'd try squonks tip, but if I started to claim to be ironing there would be alot of suspicion.

My top tip is to feed all children under the age of three naked (them, not me), so preventing stained clothes.

bananabump · 03/05/2007 14:29

In the 20 mins before dp gets home:

Open curtains and windows to let fresh air in. Adjust throws on sofas and light an incense stick.
Shove yesterdays washing up into hot soapy water.
Chuck fishfingers into oven and veggies into steamer.
Throw clothes into washer, and fold a dry load.
Stick radio on and wipe round kitchen/general quick tidy.
Brush hair and apply lippy, before tackling washing up just as he walks in.

For bonus points, make rock buns (takes all of 3 mins, 1 bowl and 1 spoon to wash, and no measuring) and stick on shelf below fishfingers to appear domestic goddess.

suejonez · 03/05/2007 14:38

even quicker banana - dump DH and you will save yourself 20mins per day

rollonsummerholidays · 03/05/2007 14:42

so funny this site i love it

numptysmummy · 03/05/2007 14:52

I make a point of only taking dh to visit friends/family who are worse at hsework than me an then he he thinks i am in fact a domestic goddess.

fryalot · 03/05/2007 14:58

numptysmummy - you are welcome here any day

numptysmummy · 03/05/2007 15:13

New friend from playgrp has ocd i swear! Am thinking game might be up if we get invited to her vvvvvv sparkly hse

Soph73 · 03/05/2007 15:19

Hi all.

Bananabump - you sound like too much of a domestic goddess to be on this thread to me

suejonez - pmsl "dump dh ...." Fantastic! Not that I don´t love the pants off of my dh you understand

suejonez · 03/05/2007 15:23

of course you do Sph but you've got to get your priorities straight...

fryalot · 03/05/2007 15:27

I did warn dp when we got together that if he wanted a domestic goddess, he was moving in with the wrong person....

he now knows I meant it

purplemonkeydishwasher · 03/05/2007 15:32

NOw THIS is the kind of thread I love!!

I get my DH to phone just as he's leaving work. I do a quick tidy, throw some dinner in and he thinks i was busy all day!

fryalot · 03/05/2007 15:33

dp was off work yesterday.

I was so tired after actually running round all day, I fell asleep on the settee!

tarantula · 03/05/2007 15:34

My tip is

Get a DP who does it for you!!!!!!

Then you can pretend to be a Dom Goddess by doing things like baking and cooking (and leave the washing up for OH)

fryalot · 03/05/2007 15:35

but tarantula - where do we find one of those? www.menwhodoallthehouseworkallowingustomnallday.com?

purplemonkeydishwasher · 03/05/2007 15:35

I also agree that a little bit of good smell goes a long way.

Soph73 · 03/05/2007 15:35

Squonk - sounds like you and me had the same discussion with our dh´s. I think mine thought I was joking too - he´s learnt the hard way! We are now in the process of trying to train ds but he obviously takes after his mother and isn´t showing any interest yet, although have managed to get him to feed the cat and put his dirty dishes/cups, etc in the sink!

madamez · 03/05/2007 15:36

If you live with a DH/DP and he complains that you don;t do enough housework, go out for the day leaving him in charge and see how much he gets done.
Either he'll discover a talent for it, in which case he can be let get on with it, or he'll discover that houseowrk is tedious repetitive crap and either agree to do his share or (if household funds permit) agree to paying someone to do it.

As a blissful single, my methods are:
Shove mess into office and box room when visitors are due, sweep kitchen floor, hoover rest of house and not worry about it
Be quite used to saying, should anyone comment, "well, I don;t like housework so I don't do much."
You know, unless there are rats all over the place, piles of old newspapers teetering next to the open fire and all your DCs going to school in filthy rags, no one is actually going to give a toss if there's a layer of dust on the mantlepiece or not.

purplemonkeydishwasher · 03/05/2007 15:37

"no one is actually going to give a toss if there's a layer of dust on the mantlepiece or not.." says she without a MIL!!

Marne · 03/05/2007 15:40

Eat off paper plates to save on washing up

bananabump · 03/05/2007 15:40

hehe, my 20 mins starts now!

purplemonkeydishwasher · 03/05/2007 15:41

I'd normally be running around tidying right now but DH is working a bit late so I have a couple extra hours!