BAD HOUSEKEEPING: The Non-Domestic Mumsnetter's Guide to NOT doing housework

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

Thought we could all (well not ALL of us obviously.. Flyladies and cod may want to steer clear )..put our lazy-arse labour-saving tips on here.. I have several (they also serve as "justifications to spend time Mumsnetting) ...

My first relates to

IRONING: I have found that some items of my laundry spend such an excessive amount of time in my ironing pile, beneath such an excessively-heavy stack of clothes, that when dragged out of the bottom to wear, they have already been "self ironed flat" from the weight!

Woo hoo!

have thought of a HUGE advantage:

"this dress? no, it's not new, it's been at the bottom of the washing pile for months, that'll be why you think you've not seen it before" whilst hastily disposing of receipts

PMD: have you considerred option b? "Actually, Mil, I don;t like housework so I don't do more than the minimum necessray." What's she going to do, snatch up her son and never let him play with you again?

madamez - how true, when ds was younger my dh told me I should have a day out as I deserved it and staying at home, etc was a piece of piss and anyone could do it. By the time I came back, picked dh up off the floor and poured him a very large glass of wine he just looked at me and promised never to winge about housework ever again and for the most part he´s kept his promise! He is still in the process of finding me a cleaner as well as I´ve now gone back to working (I use that term loosely) full-time and he´ll be buggered if he´s going to spend his weekends helping me do the housework!!

Squonk - i´m definately going to try and test that out!!

Squonk - tried washing basket trick but he always knows cos anything in bottom of basket has usually been there for yrs and is musty and if kids stuff, they normally grown out of it.

Sue Jonez - we HAVE just moved, shit, does that mean no-one believes me?

LMB...Does this mean the Snail club has....run out of slime?

My top tip - get new windows fitted, the men hoovered our house beautifully afterwards.

Am loving this thread and sadly am actually considering using some of these tips (though dh already doesn't need to use a lot of shampoo).

When DH moans about all the toys everywhere i say "I've picked them all up once and the DC got them all out again.."

Manictigger - yeah right you've just moved have you

ManicT - not run out just yet
I cleaned yesterday FGS - I can't do that two days running

Pay the kids slave labour wages to do the absolutely necessary stuff; like clearing a gangway through the clutter on the living-room floor (a garden rake is good for this) and throwing the (many, varied and sometimes odd) items of footwear back into the shoe rack near the front door, so that people can actually get in and out.

You can tell I'm not really improvising all that much can't you. I'm an OU student. It's to be expected.

put the kids to bed in their school uniforms

Ah! Reminiscences of Zebra...

pmsl!

Excellent idea!!! Makes me wish I had twins and then I could race them!

Does 2 months count as 'just'?! Actually I'm thinking that providing I leave one or two unpacked boxes around in prominent places, strangers might still fall for it.

Or how about removing some wallpaper from all the walls and saying 'sorry for the mess but I'm afraid we're in the middle of decorating'?