Gather ye dusters (fledglings) while ye May, for soon we shall be Flying ... !

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Welcome to the May 2017 fledgling Fly thread!

Feel free to park your mops and buckets here from the 1st of the month!

This is where we attempt to declutter our homes and follow the 30-step wisdom of Flylady (minus cutesy barftastic language and a surfeit of e-mails) with lots of chat and support and mutual motivation (and of course) along the way.

More info available here, here here and here.

As usual we will be following a three-pronged approach - and don't worry - we are all at different stages. (Some of us are still stuck at the decluttering stage after quite a few years ):

1 - repeat or start baby steps (again!)

2 - repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

or

3 - reinforce babysteps and/or do daily missions
And those of you who have decluttered and are really enthusiastic can throw some detailed cleaning in to the mix as well!

The idea is that we focus on short, ring-fenced, daily bursts of activity (steps and routines) that will help our homes run (more or less!) on "automatic pilot" allowing us to do far more interesting things instead!

This is a very long-running thread so we may appear cliquey but we really aren't! All newcomers, long-termers, lurkers and intermittent returnees welcome!

Helpful pointers: No perfectionism allowed! If it took a while to create the current C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) in your home, then it will probably take a while to reverse the situation (you can't clean clutter!). Small steps are the key! And you are never behind: just jump in where you are at!

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck!

Hello, could someone kindly do links tnight please - migraine - apologies

I can do them, hope you feel better soon.

Now both parents want to come with me for DD1's thing which will upset DD2. Off for a run...

I would be tempted to run away for the day!

Deep breaths stressy the visit won't last forever (much as it feels like it)

Only woke up properly at 9 today

Thanks guys.

Ta da:-
Went for run
DD1 at activity

Sitting in car in uncomfortable silence with my mum. Parenting discussion not yet happened . Thankfully my dad saw sense and is at home.

To do:-
Pick up DD1
Drive into town and find somewhere to park on bank holiday weekend.
Now we are all going out for a meal later. DH doesn't want to. I am stuck in the middle feeling stressed. Hoping DDs behave.

Deep breaths!

Cag, hope you feel better for some sleep.

Thanks stressy I do. Keep waking around 5 with the sunlight (should probably look into getting thicker curtains when we move!) but thankfully managed a decent sleep after this time, I don't always!

So far I've cleaned up an epic blackcurrant squash spillage put another wash on which is now drying (DCs helped with the transferring) and finished lunch which DH started before he went to work. Threw some more stuff away. Putting the embarrassingly big pile of loose DVDs away currently and the Caglets have put some toys away. DH also put all the washing up away (we are terrible for just using it straight off the draining board, a lot of it never reaches the cupboard!).

DH has two days off this week and while we want to enjoy the warm weather and family time, I also really want to try and get some more house stuff done. I just don't know where to start!

cagI'd start with living room as you probably spend mosttime there says she surrounded by piles of "stuff". I see we are moving into living room zone this week.long overdue here
toostressy ud be interested to know if you were disciplined as a child? I got told of singing at silly o'clockand asking my teen sister who nearly throttled me on many occasions (slow learner)
Maybe they are wearing seriously dose tinted glasses?
I would be struggling to bite my tongue,but then I find older I get the more I speak out people ruffling my feathers(wouldn't have said boo to goose in 20s when had dd1)

Tadas
Fed scout cat
Fed kits and did litter tray
Fed zoolets
Took them Sunday school
Order some stuff whilst they weren't here to annoy me(fighting breaks out EVERY time I doing something I need concentrate on- I not technically minded so have concentrate very hard!!)
Pick up zoolets
Make lunch

I decided twas time attack grass as its thigh high- scout cat looks like sleek panther as he escapes out if jungle into path and bit afraid might loose zoolets in it!!sadly I lack funds,tools and friends so couple tea a year I attack it with a £shop pair large kitchen scissors!!2hours mad chopping and a wheelie bin of grass later I have 2/3 of a garden....maybe I should start a bodge it and scarper guide to home care?

Relocate liv room floor
Dd2 went out with a friends family to park to distract from ears a but.despite suncream she's burnt to a crisp(sigh)
Just cool sponge her down and douse in aftersun...

Tea tonight-pittas with cheese and salad (nasty case CBA in the himidity.its clouding up so might get a storm later?)

To do
Naff all.I intend watch junk in TV!!!!

Wake teen sister
Rose tinted glasses
Hope you get gist of the rest
(Gives up and flops in naughty corner)

We often do start with the living room, but I find we end up moving stuff around rather than tidying! 😳😳

We still have far far too much stuff.

Not feeling so great this afternoon and have stalled somewhat

Although I did field some epic strops from DD

Hello all, will post links and personals later.

We're on our way home from a lovely break in Ireland - what a beautiful country! However the closer I get to home the more panicked I'm feeling because I know what I'm going home to boohoo the mess just depresses me. Nearly completed a month, not much flying but a little take off here and there haha! I can see a bit of a difference, just need to keep chipping away at it and I suppose it will come together in the end.

Hope everyone is doing ok .

Hello all, doing some personals and links on behalf of SC. Hope you feel better soon SC .

Am shattered but today not actually as bad as I feared . The parenting discussion didn't happen. I think my mum was waiting for me to give her a window into the conversation so I just didn't . The meal was actually the best meal out we have had in ages with the kids .

Aftesh, thank you for your support and glad you are feeling better . Cag, we also have too much stuff and the house is really starting to get me down now . Debating going cold turkey and spending less time on my phone and more time in the day decluttering.

zoo, the trouble is I was a really good child. As was my brother. We were a but more challenging as teenagers but as kids we almost never argued and I didn't need a huge amount of discipline. So I think my parents didn't have to do too much until we were older. The only think I really remember is at one point they started buying us less toys as we were i gowns I remember feeling very annoyed by that . My dad was often away and my mum was a great mum and we all got along.

Rosa, glad you had a good holiday. Mermaids, interview tips coming next!

Big wing flaps to Einstein,Purple,WhoKn0ws, BluePheasant, Grey, and everyone else. Also hello to new members - hope we are not scaring you off.

I was a very 'good' child too stressy although my parents have sort of gone the other way with it. The Caglets are pretty regular kids when it came to being bouncy/energetic, having tantrums as toddlers etc. My parents just cannot cope with that at all. Their relationship has only really improved since they've grown out of that phase and play more quietly etc. It's like my parents have no clue how to deal with normal kids, they think I was an average well behaved kid but actually my passiveness was unhealthy, I was outrageously anxious and paralysed by it IYSWIM (I'm not just speculating BTW I am a psychotherapy veteran :o). This was due to undiagnosed ASD and also learned behaviour due to trauma. They really have no idea how lucky they were, goodness knows how they'd have coped with a more challenging kid! It does make me sad though.

Interview tips:-

I am no expert! I have done a recruitment and selection course and have had a few interviews myself.

The basics which I'm sure you know:-
Check location and route in advance
Arrive early if possible

Prepare rough ideas for answers to the usual questions.

Possible questions:-
Describe a challenging situation you recently faced at work - your violent customer might be one here.
Tell us about yourself
What is your greatest achievement?
Strengths / Weaknesses
What are your career goals?
How do you work in a team?
What do you understand are the goals of the organisation?
Give an example of how you work well in a team
How do you deal with conflict?
How do you support junior colleagues?

Nasty ones:-
You arrive at work to find your colleague appears to be drunk. What action do you take?
A customer tells you that the service you provided was terrible. What do you do?
You arrive at work to find the manager had been taken ill and there is nobody to cover. What do you do?
A colleague complains to you about another collaegues attitude / behaviour. What do you do?
Describe something at work which went badly - what happened and how did you learn from it?

Retail ones:-
A customer wants to complain, what do you do?
You are cashing up and the till is short / over - what do you do?
A customer collapses in the store - would would you do?
Lost child policy?
Something I saw in real life recently (could tweak to your environment): a customer is at the bar asking to complain about the food. He appears a little drunk. He is complaining about the quality of the food but has eaten it all. He is asking for a full refund. You explain you cannot do this and offer him a free drink instead. He declines and is now getting more angry and annoyed. What do you do?
In a clothes shop: make up an outfit for a customer.
Routinely asked where I work: a customer / visitor is lost and asks you where something is. What do you do (they want you to say you would take them there where I work despite that often being completely unrealistic).

Falling out of favour but still asked:-
Where do you see yourself in 5/10 years time?
The random ones - favourite fairground ride, favourite book, top three dinner guests.

Think of a suitable question to ask at the end or be confident in saying hat all your questions were answered as part of the interview. Asking about training opportunities is always good. I usually just say my questions have been answered unless I really have a proper one.

Obviously don't ask about holiday entitement etc.

If you are changing roles or moving to a different sector be prepared to answer what transferrable skills you have.

In my job it is a possibility you would get something to interpret quickly (patient results etc). Secretarial posts may well want a computer test.

Apologies, a lot of this may be very patronising and you know it.

If possible get someone to give you a mock interview. I cannot type this without thinking of the Gavin and Stacey episode where that happens, if anyone saw it .

I may have more but it is late and I haven't done like yet. Will post tomorrow if I think of more. Lots of info on internet too. Again, apologies if patronising.

Xpost Cag, yes I think I remember you saying that. It does help to hear other people's relationships with their parents .

**
Here are links for Monday 29th May.

All information also available on the Flylady website www.flylady.net. The

flight plan
should update every day.

The daily focus for Monday is: weekly home blessing hour Ugh. Do this in whichever way is less painful for you! Doesn't have to be on a Monday (DH does it here at the end of the week).

Daily reminders (radio show times are probably not accurate for UK but can listen to previous shows/podcasts)

We are in zone 5, the living room for the last few days of this month.

Monday's mission:-
Let's have a Fire Drill! Go get the hotspots cleared off in your Living Room. You know the piles that I am talking about. The ones that just grow and grow! Put that fire out!
Take 10 minutes and put things away where they belong and toss the rest.

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 5.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 5 is here

Of course tomorrow is Bank Holiday so if you would like to use that as a reason not to declutter or do zone work there is no judgement here :)

www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/may/ Moving in May.

Baby-step no 29 - schedule some ‘you’ time, possibly with one of the Flylady pamper missions

I appreciate that this babystep may enrage those of you for who it is completely unachieveable!! I did read a good thing on one MN thread saying to find little bits of pampering e.g. 5 mins (or less!) with a cup of tea rather than aiming for a spa break.

Happy flying.

**

Thankyou so much toostressy I appreciate that so much xx

The job is moving away from retail to working in an office for a wholesale company. I did an almost identical role before my current job for 8 years so hopefully this stands me in a good position. I like my current role but the hours and late finishes are killing me and home life.
I have researched the company and will try and memorise some of their facts and figures. Possible hitch is their customer base is what I would describe as "alternative" which is something I personally wouldn't normally relate to or have much knowledge of but am more then happy to learn about (does that sound good)

Will have a think and give some better answers tomorrow. Shattered now! Glad they helped.

As for parent relationships, I have one supportive parent and one I am no contact with. She is nothing more than a narc, she has some serious issues and neither I nor my children need that in our lives. She hasn't featured in my life much since I was infant school age but the older I get the more I realise exactly what she is. So she has no input what so ever with my DC and she never will have. I genuinely believe this is in our best interests. She visited me a while ago and that was the final straw. My anxiety at her pending visit was ridiculous considering I am not normally at all anxious, and it only got worse during the visit. I made the decision to cut the ties and we have not spoken since.

I never ever want my children to feel like that about me.

Anyways

Ta Da

Dryer on

afresh sounds like you have your shit together and are doing best for your family.given your background I'd say you are doing great,but don't want to sound patronising

I was a lonely kid (as my dad informed me I was an accident)I had 3siblings,but the youngest was 8years older than me and hated me taking her place as baby of the family.she still holds that against me.brother died 5years ago.eldest is a stuck up cow who is married a bank manager and whilst he's "normal" she's grown her ideas of grandeur out of all control.we haven't spoken since I had dd2(22 years ago) she turned her back on me at dads funeral in DEC. I was anxious kid and never felt I belonged.mental health started wobbling 14.mum died at 17 and everyone blamed me as I was alone with her when had massive heart attack(I'd caused stress that killed her).well that's my shit soul bared.family life is complicated....

Tadas
Ignored ds at 3am(awake and basically asking for phone
Er no)
3-430kits rampaging as he stomp around and they assume feeding time(lay there silent seething)
5am alarm(lil zoo) up and he stops rant as has playmate
I try sleep but dd2 now snoring(sigh)

I am finally up

Tadas
Scoutcat fed
Kits fed and litter tray sorted
Wash on

Good morning

to Afreshstart and to Zoo . Having to cut off contact with one parent and losing your mother at 17 must be really, really hard

Toostressy huge thanks for doing the links (and personals) last night when you are so busy with everything else! I have emerged from my darkened room and will be able to carry on tonight.

So sorry that your parents visit is a source of such stress. It would be so lovely if they could come and behave in such a way that you could all enjoy the visit - really feel for you Glad yesterday went better though!

Sorry for lack of rest of personals - I am trying to avoid screens as much as possible - also feeling a bit today because my aunt died yesterday morning. She was 96yrs, had had a good life, it was anticipated and the end was very peaceful at home surrounded by close family, so best possible scenario really but still nonetheless.

Heigh ho everyone, life is not easy sometimes is it?

to Cag too

And glad you had a good trip Purple lovely weather for it!

Very best of luck with your interview Mermaids!! Hope it goes well!

Gosh, I rather wish I was attending an interview myself given those fab tips from Toostressy