Is this bonkers - show flannel?

[BoatyMcFuckfaceNC]

(Afterthought- daily mail/mirror journos you lazy cunting wankbadgers this is not for you to lift. Go report some news. I shall intersperse swears just in case. Ha.)

I like to make my bathroom feel as pampery as possible given it's poky and rented. I also use white flannels once or twice a day in my skincare routine so I keep a stash in a basket. Fuckbucket. When I was at a posh spa a few months ago I spent ten minutes studying how they'd rolled/tucked their flannels and now I use their technique so it feels even pamperier (word?). Cuntbiscuit.

Anyway, I've taken to leaving a 'show flannel' out on the side of the sink. I don't actually use it, I use the ones from the basket (which is on a shelf above eye level). But it sits there looking lovely and calm inviting me to look after myself. Arseweasel. I like to think guests might see it and feel they're at a fancy hotel or something. It's also angled at a perfect 45 degrees mirrored by the soap dish on the other side. Cuntfuckitybastardshitmonkey.

(Disclaimer: without being flippant it is very possible that I have OCD, I am under mental health support for anxiety and mood problems, before anyone gets too mean!)

Am I completely bonkers? Or do other people do this kind of thing too?

Not sure if I am allowed to out-bonkers you. I have a rolled up basket of Show hand towels. We use the old ones and the show towels are only put on the rail when we have visitors?

*in not on the hipster category. You bastards.

I'm SO hoping a lazier than usual bastarding DailyFail journo cuts and pastes this into an "article" without checking the fine cunting print

I don't know.

But love your post with it's interspersed sweary bits. Cuntbiscuit.

Fuckbucket.

all baskets in my house are henceforth to be called fuckbuckets

I can't even read this properly for laughing so much at your wonderful swear words!!

Whatever this post is really about OP yanbu, you're right, ltb etc etc 😂😂😂😂😂

Oh lol lol at Homes & Gardens !

I feel like I'm listening in on a house proud tourettes sufferers convention. It's MN gold. Mingearse. I want to see this bring The Fail website down. BTW I like your show flannel idea especially as you are trying to smarten up a rented space. Sounds lovely. I don't do this but I live with a whole tribe of actual RL pisswizards who would not respect the sanctity of the show flannel

Growing up with an OCD mother, we had show (CUNT) toiletries and towel/flannel sets.

On going into hospital (FUCK), I'd be issued with a new bar of Pears soap and the set.

It would be washed specially (DM ARE BASTARDS) and put away for special events.

The special stuff (SHIT), would be brought out and bought for guests as well.

Radox (FUCKBUCKET) and Pears were the posh gear.

bibbity
I think you'll find the proper name of the magazine is Homes and Fucking Gardens

My mistake Cunting Home and Wankmonkey Gardens

Well I just pissed my mingedestoying pants laughing at ninefingeredshitehawk.

Shittygimpmaskfuckface

Keep coming fandangocunting back to see all your marvellous arseness swear words

Love it

My Mum has these - pure white with silver scroll writing embroidered with words like Relax or Bathe

Cuntyfuckbugger

My Dad was visibly nervous and a bit when my OH Used one to dry one of the babies out of the bath. Clearly he missed the memo about Ceremonial Towels that are not for use of the plebs.

[Have nominated this for Classics... you wonderful bunch of flapmuffins.]

I have nominated this cunting fuck post for bastarding classics too!

I think there are two types of people. Those who understand having cunting items for show and those who fucking don't.

If you are a bastarding normal person who doesn't understand the idea of having flannels, tea towels, crockery etc that no-one is allowed to arseflapping use, then it is never going to occur to them that the arseflapping flannels are for cunting decoration not normal usage.

So the bonktastic person who then informs them that the flannels are 'for show' is then just going to appear a little bit unhinged. If someone inadvertently uses one of the decorative items, couldn't you just replace it with one of the many identical items from the basket?

I went slightly mad in the John Lewis sale once and acquired a dozen lovely flannels in different coordinating colours, to ensure I could get the kids' ones in the wash regularly. Arsingdailyfuckmailnuggets.

Not having a show home, the kids insist on using at least 5 each when washing their hair, so the subtle rainbow of luxury fabric is in fact a pile of wanksquidging soggy cloth lumped on the overcrowded fuckmaily towel rail.

You're insane but love it.

"showflannel"

Frig me, half of my towels have bleach stains and hair dye marks on them scruffy cow that I am

I'm such an old prude I struggle to type a swear word in public but I will say bugger.

Wow the sky hasn't fallen in!

I love reading other people's dratted swear words though.

Dang and blast that lousy beast the Daily Fail.

"Fuckmaily towel rail" - love it!

I love you all, and this titwanky mingeworthy thread.

OP has officially won the internet.

Arsebandits.

Liquid explosion poonami here, behind a solid poo cork that torpedoed into the loo at the speed of light. Twas a celebration to behold!

I luckily had a supply of wet wipes to wipe away the bum gravy. From my sphincter. I would have used the show flannel in an emergency though.

Ring-piece feeling sore and sad though.