May-be this time - Fledglings flutter through May 2016 (Flylady thread)

[CotswoldStrife]

Welcome all - and thanks to SpareCrust for leading us through April.

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own unique, relaxed style) with lots of support and chat along the way.

Link to the Flylady website

Don't let the somewhat sickly and barftastic language of the site put you off: the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework; which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be swamped with masses of bumph. All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

** And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one.
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you. Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! . Some of us have been on here for years and some of us natter rather a lot – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers are very, very welcome!

Haven't caught up with thread but oh no SC sorry about the slipped disc! That royally sucks :( [ice pack]

And sorry about the house Grey

Been a rubbish day here, had to cancel all my lessons and didn't take the DCs to their clubs, flare up day for me. Bah.

Good idea on the intros - I'm Cag, I have just stopped work in a physically demanding job as I have health issues, and am hoping to work from home instead doing tutoring etc, I have 2 DCs 6 and nearly 9, who have been home educated for a year, they are almost certainly on the autistic spectrum (I was diagnosed myself last year). Oh and I am rubbish at organisation and housework :o

Surds, oooh I love surds. They are indeed something to do with square roots. You use a surd when you can't express the square root of a number easily. e.g (imagine / is the square root sign) /9 can be changed to 3, but /2 is a surd as there's no easier way to express that. Lots of manipulating involved, say simplifying /20 = /(4x5) = /4 x /5 = 2/5 in 'surd form'. Something like that anyway, it's been a while!

Ugh... After a flying start yesterday I gave up after dinner last night, went to bed with the dcs, then came back down as I forgot to turn the dishwasher on. Regretting it now though as I hate coming down to an untidy living room and basket of wet laundry! Hopefully lesson learned.

I've no idea how you all manage with dcs extra curricular activities too! I'm just about coping with the nursery run!

So today's list

Dishwasher emptied - done
Wet laundry in dryer and away
Breakfast tidied
Kids bathed and 1 to nursery
Laundry load in, dried
Make beds
Swish and swipe both bathrooms
Keep hall stairs and landing clear (hotspots)
Tidy/clean kitchen inc workrooms and floors after dinner
Tidy and Hoover living room after dinner
Dishwasher on
15 mins in bedroom (top of dressing table and drawer)
Need to do an hours work too today

Best get on!

Hope everyone has a productive day!

knitting You're completely right about getting out the house. I just need to find that balance. I daren't go to any baby groups because I don't know how I'd cope with two. But there's a really relaxed church one five minutes walk so I'm going to try that next week. We did get out for a walk this morning and we're going to meet OH off his train and have a picnic soon

As for flying today, I've rebooted the laundry, made the bed (new concept to me), washed the breakfast pots and that's it. But that's okay, everything else can wait till later when OH is home to help.

Hello v sorry to hear about bereavement Cotswold and hope your dd is ok.

It is terribly hard juggling it all Kruck

Well done re: bathroom floor Untidy!

Hope you are feeling stronger today Cag

for all the ongoing issues ¨Grey sorry it is such tough going atm

Oh yes to bits falling off Knitting and arf at "Laundrette's Anonymous"
I am SC and own a Mt Washmore of mammoth proportions which is growing by the day in my basement. A few other reprobates and me started this thread aeons ago and I still have a messy cluttered home and my home is now more organised than it was. I have a dh and a dd . I live in continental Europe. I work part time (roughly about 14 hrs a week but it varies) from home and volunteer 2 half days/3 half days every alternative week.

Can't type any more because of back. Have been told "no sitting" because it compresses the spine.

I was looking forward to doing links in June thread. May have to reassess this if back still bad as need to radically change my Internet habits/sitting habits/lets face it entire lifestyle to avoid recurrence. May be able to source lap-top that I can use when reclining (but not easy to do links on one's back - not sure - never used one??) or get my hands on one of those standing computer tables. Will do my best!

Over and out for a bit! Big waves to Blue Einstein whoknows Honu and all newbies and returnees and everyone else I've missed! Wishing you continuing good luck with house search/ballet dilemmas/GCSE exams/home edding/schooling issues and Flying of course!

Thanks I'm feeling a bit better today, still haven't done anything useful beyond renewing my library books online!

Today can be summed up in 2 words. Paperwork hell!
And now that i have sorted into category piles I get to deal with it properly tomo. Oh the joy. So so much joy

Can't believe how long it has been since I've posted

Best not to even think about how much flying I haven't done

Meerkitten turns 1 on Monday but sadly DP has been sent abroad for work so he'll miss it He flies tomorrow morning. We didn't have any plans but it would have been nice to be together

DP's workplace have just done a big round of redundancies and things are now so bad that DP has asked for redundancy but doesn't know if he'll get it.

I feel like I've spent the last month or so in limbo, since I last posted really.

I know this probably sounds a bit silly but I've also been a bit nervous about being on my own for the next week whilst DP is away, I haven't been on my own with just me and Meerkitten for so long and they are sending him again in a few weeks. I know some people do this on their own all the time but it's a first for me so not sure how it will be.

I hope everyone is doing OK, I've only skim read the last two pages

Aw Dogs that's such a shame about DH missing Meerkitten's birthday! :( Is he able to Skype or something while he's away? I hope you two can have a really nice time anyway, doing something fun just mummy and baby :)

I don't think it's silly that you're worried, a first baby is such a steep learning curve! We're all here though, so I hope you'll check in if/when you can

I've done nothing today!

Will post links tomorrow, DD unwell and I'm upstairs on my tablet (the links are downstairs on the laptop!).

Dogs - hello, what a shame. Do you know what, DH has been abroad on business twice since DD was born 10 years ago. Both times he has managed to miss her birthday. Grrr. You will be fine without him, but it is daunting. You know the other week you were talking about your home ed parents group and it being something you kept quiet about with all the other mums you mix with? I thought to myself, I know that feeling, and I couldn't think what in my life it applied to. Then the penny dropped - it's this thread! No one in my RL friends knows about it, but it has been very much part of my life for several years now.

Cotswold - hope DD is better soon.

SC - sorry about your back, I'm sure someone else can do June if needs be (me perhaps, although It might be a bit sparse for the first couple of days till I get the bloody exam out of the way).

Very little Flying the last couple of days, although I did manage an hour of ironing last night. Sports Day at DS's school today meant being out all day, it was nice but a lot of hanging around.

Thanks Caglio and Whoknows you've both made me feel a bit better and a bit less alone about DP going away and missing Meerkitten's birthday.

No-one in real life knows about this thread either Whoknows I think I like it that way, it keeps it a safe place where I can freely share whatever is going on whether that is my slovenly ways or less housekeeping related

Dogs my DH took a job which meant he was away from us from Mon to Fri so I do appreciate how tough it is to be on solo duty 24/7. He didn't improve matters by booking a trip away and missing her first day of school after we'd relocated to be with him. I was extremely unhappy! I posted the usual photo of her in her school uniform before setting off which he shared with his colleagues in the European country he was in at the time . But you probably don't bear a grudge as long as I do!

The redundancy situation is horrible - it makes everyone feel bad and it doesn't matter whether you get to stay or go, no one feels like a winner. It is probably adding to his pressure over the trip as well. Keep posting over the next week (birthday photo would be lovely, but no pressure!) and tick the days off on the calendar.

We all need a secret place to unload without judgement. Sometimes we need a few!

The daily summary for Saturday (also available on the Flylady website at flight plan which should update automatically each day).

Baby-step no 28 - take care of yourself and take breaks

We are in Zone 4 this week: the master bedroom

Spend 15 mins decluttering in Zone 4.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 4 is here

No missions at the weekend, they run Monday-Friday – yay! Could do the weekly pamper mission if you wish

The daily focus for Saturday is: family fun day

The monthly habit for May is moving in May!

I am not meant to be sitting in front of a screen but was lurking on my Ipod and couldn't post from that. Can't seem to post from phone either atm for some reason (fat fingers probably!)

Anyway, was lurking and just had to come on here to say:

Dogs can completely understand your trepidation about your dh being away especially when it means your dh will miss lovely Meerkitten's birthday. It is daunting when they are little. And all the uncertainty over the redundancy must be adding to the stress. I completely know how you feel because dh has (apart from the last couple of weeks strangely) has been away Tues to Fri three weeks out of four for over twenty years (and early on it was for months and months on end without a break). It is obviously much much easier now that dd is older and I hardly think about it, but I found it very hard when dd was young and I was living in what was then a strange country to me. Him being back for the last few weeks has reminded me how much better it is and how less pressured things are when he is here!

Anyway, anyway, the most important thing I wanted to say and pls trust me on this is: that it will be OK! I absolutely promise!! This is how it goes:

build up to trip away >you are both feeling a bit tense and I used to feel a wee bit resentful too I must admit

actually departure >horrible and you feel bereft and the huge responsibility of looking after a child totally alone feels daunting

first day or so >finding your feet and very busy and a bit sad but have no choice but to get on with it

next few days> finding that to your surprise it is actually OK and you are quite enjoying it (especially little things like being able to eat when and what you want and having full control of remote and having lovely one on one time with dd)!!

last few days -> this wasn't as bad as I thought and yay I can cope!!

reunion > happy all round!!

I promise you - all will be fine - As others have said, we will all be around so post on here as and when you like. I know it is not the same but all the fledglings are behind you! Hope you can "make a day of it" on Monday with whoever is around too!

Whoknows and Cotswold yy to this being a secret safe place that isn't mentioned in rl but nonetheless is really quite important (I am not naieve enough to think I haven't been identified on here more than a few times - expat world I inhabit can be v insular - but frankly I don't care!)

Cotswold sounded as though you had a tough evening last night. Hope your dd is ok now.

Noted that you need laptop to do links not tablet. Ignorant about technology I will try and get to the bottom of this so not dependent on being seated at main computer.

Big waves to everyone else!!!

Well done re: paperwork Einstein (your efforts are putting me to shame!)

Glad you are feeling a wee bit better Cag

[Btw, if previous post didn't make sense it was because I was working in London and dh living here when we were first married; I only moved here when about to sprog]

Right must go and stretch out the discs ....

haven't a day of aargh...nothing much to blame really..just a feeling like I should be organising something special, getting my teeth into some task, and just sitting here still in my nightie blankly

Have eaten low carb breakfast (cream cheese followed by some spoonfuls of dessicated coconut, weird...no fruit in the house unfortunately). Weighed myself to find myself still 14 stone 2 Ib not good. Feel thinner than last week but was a different set of scales so not quite sure what my weight loss has been.
Garden looking lovely but have the usual lack of compost and pots to decant the shrivelling lobelia into...feel becalmed on that front, need to sow more seeds too, or lose the chance forever.

Ds1 has gone to exam revision in school, ds2 has gone to see another Flying Scotsman belching steam through local station (although suppose it is same train, there's only one isn't there?) Dd is still in bed. Waiting for her to emerge and start demanding something entertainment, ferrying, food, fun holiday plans.and trying to work out what MY PLAN is..

Want to go to NGS this afternoon with friend in North London but don't dare make plans unless someone else blows them out of the water. Dh is at a Book Fair.

SC I am convinced that one day I will find out that I actually know you in RL, not individually ifsyim, but connected with someone else I know..I am actually terrified you will identify me as a batty person mentioned in passing by other smart people

Dog Happy Birthday to Meerkitten, if I remember she was premature so it must be strange realising her birthday is much earlier than you might have originally thought it would be, also strange to think what one has managed in the last year, a year like no other - that first year with a baby.

KNitting we all need mornings when we sit in our nighties and feel a bit blank from time to time!! You are allowed (indeed you deserve) a little down time you know

Oh dear, that post below made it sound as though I favoured full control of remote over one on one time with dd - got them the wrong way around Meant to say you start appreciate little things and of course spending lots of one on one time with dd (in separate category)

Whoknows sorry - didn't read far down enough - thanks for possible offer re June thread. V kind of you but don't want to impinge on your revision (you have enough of everything else to contend with!) Will try and sort things out on technology side.

x posts Knitting!!

You can relax - I don't know many smart people - much prefer the batty variety!!

Speaking of batty -

the other aspect of this thread that I love is

the unexpected combos that crop up from time to time

• such as surds and sloths

Dog Dh has also been away on business whilst I had babies; if I recall the worst bit was not having someone to bring me a cup of tea first thing in the morning when I woke for early feed, that was when I missed him most! Also worrying about locking up at night. But really, all was fine, and lovely to have reunion and appreciate each other all the more.

SC my paperwork efforts totalled taking boxes of paperwork and sorting into vague category piles all over ds' bed. I have to go back through each pile and sort and file it. Not impressive at all.

Gotta run just realised I am late for an appointment. Bollocks

Have wirked out again how to post from phone - yay! But fingers too fat!

Einstein but impressive that yr paperwork fits on one bed ( mine would easily take up two or three king sized doubles) and you are actually doing it!!!

err.....
I'll leave you with that delusion