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Original poster

Decluttering accountability buddies?

183 replies

PrettyWitch · 31/12/2015 15:51

2016 is the year I'm going to get my stuff sorted out properly - but I might need you to help keep on track!

I have a minor shopping addiction, which hinges mostly on books and indie make up/perfume, but does include lots of other things - we moved house six months ago and after a big declutter then, it's starting to get silly again.

I'd like to stop bringing so much stuff into the house, and get rid of at least five items per day until I feel like the house is no longer bursting at the seams!

So, anyone up for keeping me accountable and getting some support with decluttering in return? Maybe we should start with a January no buy? :)

OP posts:
didireallysaythat · 12/01/2016 21:19

Access to CBT is patchy depending on where you live I think. When I went to the GP with severe PND (which thank God she took seriously, the first person who did), she gave me antidepressants and said I'd have to wait over a year for CBT, but that might have been just to put me off or because she didn't think I was a good candidate. If someone independently has suggested I would mention it to your GP as supporting evidence. As for additional support, I'm not much help. I think our neighbour hoards (just observations) but I don't know her well enough to be able to ask, nor ask if she is happy. I think your goals for finding things to give up are great - do you record them ? Sometimes writing things down, along with how you felt when when you got rid of stuff, is helpful as it's something to turn to when you feel you've waivering. That's what I do with food !

2boysnamedR · 12/01/2016 21:59

Good idea to write my goals and feelings down. I have a diary this year and I am recording all the things in my chuck it out challenge.

Home start, social services and health visitor have all mentioned CBT so I will tell the Dr that.

I don't mind waiting up to six months, but longer I think I would just try to work out if I could do it myself :0/

I think there's a few feelings I try to push down but there's no real answer to that. I over eat too. I was doing well on slimming world but again stress towards the end of last year I stopped going. Letting things fall apart just feels comforting. I am a control freak and letting the house slip into chaos is one way to release pressure. I like to see it, to hide in it. But it's not a sustainable coping method. Plus it ultimately makes me sadder. I need to go the gym or polish instead but that's going to be hard.

My young neighbour hoards. It's sad. She's early thirties and single. All her windows have furniture in front of them so no one can see in. She's had a mattress across her bedroom window. She moved in two years ago and moved out last month. What's amazing is she brought all the stuff with her. When she moved out there was so much left for the tip on her lawn.

I'm not that bad by a long shot, but I know I will be if I don't stop now

Ditsy4 · 13/01/2016 23:54

But the difference is you are doing something about it! Is there an ASD support group near you? Finding other people that understand can help. What about local college could you have a child care student a couple of days a week ?
I think you're doing really well with this challenge.
Well today I have been back in the craft room. I put all my threads into the boxes I painted and then tidied my sewing box put all the colours in there that don't match the drawers... Am I turning into an OCD?
Found some stuff to put out including you guessed it some more magazines! It still isn't tidy because I had to put some stuff back in afterwards. There is too much in there.
As to your room I kept putting it off before Christmas because it was too daunting so I gave myself one thing to do each day. I put the radio on so I had something to listen to and concentrate on. It really worked because I only had to do one area. By the end of the week it was done although my bedside table needs doing again.

Ditsy4 · 14/01/2016 23:42

Been to work today too tired to do anything else so need to do about eight extras tomorrow.

2boysnamedR · 14/01/2016 23:48

I didn't do anything today either :0(

I must crack on tomorrow and then I am pulling out furniture at the weekend. I'm behind on my chuck now. Good job I was ahead on Monday as the pressure is really on now!

I'm going to add up my numbers until Sunday and just be ruthless around my side of the bed. All the items will come from there.

My stress over school admission is out of my control now so I need to get geared out to do the Kondo on my wardrobe.

That's the next target and it's quite a task.

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 14/01/2016 23:52

I read in an article about KonMari that you need an accountability partner.
I def do.
I am place marking really. Back later.

didireallysaythat · 15/01/2016 08:14

I work full FT plus an hour plus catch up in the evening, and I've been away with work the last two weekends. DH keeps the laundry under control which is a blessing, and we eat quick food (not enough vegetables) but I haven't done any proper decluttering this year. I so want to - I'm spurred on by you !

2boysnamedR · 15/01/2016 11:30

Olivia - do you think it's hard finding a accountability buddy? I can't use dh as he's conditioned to it now

My mate bought me the Kondo book. She is the polar oppersite to a hoarder. I told her to pop in any time and check up on me I also said that if I don't answer the door I am but to ashamed to let her in

florentina1 · 15/01/2016 12:00

Today, I have disposed of a tiny ironing board, for ironing sleeves. I don't iron anything so I have no idea why this has been kept for 10 years
Also. Double grill thing from Lakeland, useless thing OH bought. Takes forever to heat up and is bulky.
Standard up-lighter put in the bedroom when we replaced the one in the living room.
Big bag of wool.
double duvet, which was covering the spare fold up bed. The duvet was twice the bulk of the bed.
Two evening bags.
This was all from a small cupboard where our old boiler used to be. Goodness knows what will happen when I start on the rest of the house.

And even better news, I found a box with gloves and scarves that I have been searching for.

florentina1 · 15/01/2016 12:03

Aaaaaaargh. The GKs are coming for half term. Just heard OH tell my DiL to bring some spare toys as we have an empty cupboard now.

2boysnamedR · 15/01/2016 12:18

Lol! That's what happens with a empty space....

2boysnamedR · 15/01/2016 13:47

Just done 35 things in less than a hour. Found some mouldy stuff Shock which has spurred me to try and do this yearly. I think I have made my target of hitting day 15 - half way there now!

Here is what a very non ruthless chest of draws has provided!

15th
3 kids t shirts
1 nighty
2 sets pjs
Pj bottoms
3 belts
8 bras
1 braces
1 box
6 tops
2 jumpers
6 pants
Cycling shorts

Ditsy4 · 15/01/2016 20:40

Wow that is fantastic. I haven't done any yet! I'm in pub now so may have to play catch up.

2boysnamedR · 15/01/2016 20:52

Pub sounds more fun!

florentina1 · 16/01/2016 08:13

I am on a One-a-day roll. Yesterday's haul from a small cupboard has inspired me.

Today, it is a shelf rammed with photos. I have a box, liberated from yesterday's adventure, so hope I will be brave enough to cull them enough to fit it.

2boysnamedR · 16/01/2016 13:59

I am pulling furniture out today and re doing my draws. I am up to date with the chuck it out challenge and more hopefull I can make it to the end of the month now. If it gets desperate I'm going into the loft!

Then next month it's starting Te Kondo properly as I should have the room to pull things out by them

didireallysaythat · 16/01/2016 23:06

2boys you should be feeling very pleased with yourself. I'm away this weekend again and I fail (no, I try and do family stuff) during the week. I know there's a bag of shoes under the stairs. And I need to replace tights with holes (in wearing dresses more at the moment). That's what I'm aiming for next weekend.

florentina1 · 17/01/2016 09:23

I managed about one fifth of the photos, but I did manage to reorganise the rest so they fit into the box.

Also reorganised the blank paper the we keep for the GK to draw on. Disposed of a carrier bag of junk and 2 uncomfortable pairs of jog bottoms.

I have realised that, not only do we have too much stuff, but that it is allowed to spread out too much. Since the kids left home we have spare cupboards and shelves so it is just easy to chuck things in to "sort out later"

Not doing any today till I have been to charity shop.

Anyone else made a start?

Ditsy4 · 17/01/2016 10:22

Ha ha! Florentine I do that sometimes especially if I know visitors are coming. However I have sorted out the main cupboard I do that to. Well I lazed about yesterday so I have two days to do today. Starting to find it more difficult now the numbers are larger. Next time I will start with 31 and work backwards much easier I think. I have a chest of drawers to look in today I haven't opened it for months Blush maybe a year! It has paints and cards etc in it so I am sure to find lots in there. I was thinking if I make space I could put my cake tins and some cook books in there as it is in kitchen. Better get up and do it. There are some pluses when the kids leave home :)

2boysnamedR · 17/01/2016 12:54

Defiantly agree about starting at the big target of 31 next time and working back to 1 item on the last day

Went to the charity shop yesterday with my bags and I did feel tense ( and bought a doll for my Dd and saw a school branded top for ds) but two bags out and two items in!

I actually felt very defeated yesterday. Dh is reminding me this is a long term project and it's going to take months / the whole year.

More to do today. I have my next target. All clothes are going on the living room floor tomorrow. I am aiming to close my wardrobe!

florentina1 · 17/01/2016 13:36

What is the opposite of "accountability buddy". Accountability hinderer?

I asked OH to be careful with one of the charity bags as it had a cut glass rose bowl in it. My God you would have thought I was giving away his first born.

He has no interest in home decor. We have no photo-frames or ornaments displayed. If I put a vase of flowers on the table he moves them when he eats.

So why question me about the rose bowl? He had no idea what it looked like even. It has been in the back of the cupboard since we moved here 40 YEARS AGO.

Yes it is beautiful, if you like cut glass. We don't use it because of its size. You have put so many flowers in it to fill it. It takes up far too much room on our small table. This is the same OH, up thread, who told my DiL to bring over some toys as we "now have a spare cupboard"

Next Decluttering will be when he is out.

2boysnamedR · 17/01/2016 15:00

Sorry to hear about your OH. Does he ever bring things into the house? If not then I think you can work around him by not informing him things are going onto a new home.

My dh is very tolerant as I'm the nightmare here. I think he would throw my stuff without any regrets. Finding some minging stuff today! Very dusty lovely bag I shoved into a corner. Not sure if I can save it. Makes me more determined to have less and enjoy what I do have.

Room now smells of bleach and it should be lovely if when I finish

Ditsy4 · 17/01/2016 23:28

Great de cluttering you too.
I have done some today but took longer than I should have as I found a pile of stuff( small pile) that my sister must have brought when she came. It was almost all of my report cards. None from 1 St school but all the others I had been too except my cousins where I only went for a few weeks while we were moving. Of course I had to read them all. It was interesting to see when it showed that Maths was my weakness and Art, English and Science strengths right from Year 3 and even before that with Maths. Give me the child at seven....man ! Pretty true even the comments about me being responsible at an early age. The trouble was took me ages to read and I didn't get the rest done but to be fair I couldn't get the drawer open because the knob has broken so it will have to wait till next week. I did get my numbers for today though.

2boysnamedR · 18/01/2016 00:04

Wow we doing well with our numbers! I didn't think I would get this far. Seeing the GP about getting cbt tomorrow. Don't think they will agree but I said I would ask...

I can throw away some things that others would keep. I threw out all my uni stuff after reading a article that I should. Felt great and I never regret it.

Shame I can't do my clothes!!!!

2boysnamedR · 18/01/2016 17:02

Dr approved my CBT so I was shocked she took me seriously. I am glad but it's opening up a can of worms. I guess it's for the best.

I tried to tackle my wardrobe. I have 68 things hanging off the door so you can imagine what's inside. Dispite lots of possible easy wins I just couldn't do it.

Got to find other things to chuck for today now