Autumn leaves flutter as October Fledglings Fly!

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Welcome to the October 2015 Fledgling Flying thread!

Park your broomsticks and cauldrons here!! Or is that just me ?

This is where, from the 1st of the month, we attempt to declutter and follow the 30-step wisdom of Flylady (minus cutesy language and a surfeit of e-mails) with lots of chat and support and mutual motivation (and of course) along the way.

More info available here and here and here.

As usual we will be following a three-pronged approach - and don't worry - we are all at different stages. (Some of us are still stuck at the decluttering stage after quite a few years ):

• repeat or start baby steps (again!)

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

or

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

And those of you who have decluttered and are really enthusiastic can throw some detailed cleaning in to the mix as well!

The idea is that we focus on short, ring-fenced, daily steps and routines that will help our homes run (more or less!) on "automatic pilot" allowing us to do far more interesting things instead!

This is a very long-running thread so we may appear cliquey but we really aren't! All newcomers, long-termers, lurkers and intermittent returnees not only welcome to join in but positively encouraged to do so!

Helpful pointers: No perfectionism allowed! If it took a while to create the current C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) in your home, then it will probably take a while to reverse the situation (you can't clean clutter!). Small steps are the key! And you are never behind: just jump in where you are at!

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck!

fuzz -

feet - hmm, keep an eye. DS2 stopped reading the class books at his old school because he complained that they were all too easy and boring (not meant as a stealth boast - DS1 struggled with reading and needed a lot of extra help, so I was always grateful when DS2 took to it so easily).

SC - that is just wonderful! I'm so pleased that has worked out so well for you. It sounds really inspiring and important work too. And your understanding of what it feels like to move to a country that is not your own is going to be so helpful in that context. I'm sure you'll be brilliant at it (and sounds like they really want you).

But yes, I get ranty too after having watched the negative effects of the state system on my DC. Which is not to say it's all bad, of course, and so much depends on the individual teachers (and I know we have many good ones on this very thread ).

Am failing miserably at Flying today. Was all geared up to go to the interview this afternoon and was thrown when it was confirmed as Wednesday instead. And then forgot to put the rubbish out, which made me feel inefficient.

But I have time to change all that before the school run if I just shift my backside off this sofa.

I do agree with the point CS4L made about As and Bs not predicting achievement later in life. My DH freely admits to being lazy in school and has considerably lower academic results than what he was actually capable of. He wrote his final year dissertation in one day FFS. However, he is now a self employed business owner, who earns a six figure salary and is highly regarded in his specialist field.
But that said, I myself still place a lot of value on high academic achievement. Not sure there is an answer.

DS has thrown a spanner in the works here and I'm not getting much done. So far only:
Doctors appointment
Collected prescriptions
Glass recycling
two wash loads done and hung up
Birthday card and present wrapped
A piddly amount of paper work started.

Oh tis a good day for a rant!!

Thank you very much for your views and support re dd and schooling everyone! All the very different views are very much appreciated.

I don't want to deliberately sit on the fence, but ideally, I genuinely think there has to be a healthy balance between engaging children, keeping them stimulated and encouraging creativity and original thought whilst providing academic rigour; an understanding that hard work is a must, combined with high expectations and constant challenges. Rewarding effort and trying to encourage a child's individual strengths is the key to all of the above I think, (in addition to fostering an understanding of what is good for the group too!)

In general though, despite my unease over the negative rote-learning system here, I tend to lean towards Can'tsee's position, simply because of my own experience of going to what had been a very good school in my sisters' day and having it crumble underneath me over the course of a few years. All the good teachers left and standards fell. If you were bright and wanted to learn you were mocked for it, and anyway, the classroom disruption was such that learning was actually quite difficult in the first place. YOu stopped making any efforts in the end because if you turned up, behaved reasonably well and turned your hwk in on time, you automatically got top marks. Looking back, all the dc were let down and I was bullied and miserable and even now have huge gaps in my education. That's why it is v. important to me that dd receives an education that is, first and foremost, fairly rigorous.

Also, I think there is far too much emphasis on exploring, thinking, searching, imagining in the UK before the dc have learnt the basic facts of a subject. By all means do all of the above once the dc have a basic grounding in a subject, but I think it is unfair and fairly meaningless to encourage them to explore something they know nothing about ie loads of 9/10 yr olds interviewing veterans of the 2nd world war and the veterans mentioning "little boats" and "Dunkerque" and it totally going over the children's heads because of their basic lack of knowledge of events.

And I do think perhaps there is a slight tendency to infantalise dc in the UK. Children are given much more responsibility here at an earlier age. (Although personally I also think dc should be encouraged to enjoy being dc for as long as possible!!)

However, however, having said all of the above, I think a lot depends on the character of an individual child and how they learn. The huge downsides here are that if the teaching is very boring and the teacher very negative, it can so adversely affect a child's interest in their subjects and self-esteem that they are put off learning for life! Certainly, I think schooling here is much more suited to girls than boys and many active boys here are bored rigid.

And despite the many struggles some of you have experienced on this thread with regards to proper provision for dc with sn, from the little I know about this, the UK education system seems to be more open to addressing these issues than many schools systems here in mainland Europe.

Knitting from the snippets of yr posts about hwk that I have read on here, the schools of your dc sound really excellent and seem to tackle subjects in hugely creative and diverse ways; which I think is fab and is the sort of learning that stays with you for life (as opposed to the sort of learning that stays with you until the exam is finished and you never think of it again!!).

Getting back to dd, and now I feel more objective and less emotional about it (thank you again lovely fledglings !!!) for now we are going with the "we realise it is very hard now but you will thank us later" stance, and give her as much support as we possibly can while trying to encourage her to give it her very best shot, as she is lacking in confidence and that stops up from trying her hardest sometimes. We will assess later on and as Knitting suggests, get more feedback from teachers, and then I guess it will be a case of whether all the opportunities/advantages are outweighed by the hardships ie if her self-confidence and core happiness are really in doubt, then we will obviously have to think again!!

Thanks all!!

[And profuse apologies, because I have appeared to veer wildly off course from Flying again, despite my promises to the contrary. Back to chores tomorrow without fail!]

I'd have to agree Blue and I'm married to one

Back to catch up with personals in a mo!

Power of 3 worked

Ta Da:

• Get lunch
• Breakfast and lunch washing up blush
• Bread machine on

• Create 'To Do' list for the week
• Email DJ for school discos for the year
• S&S x 2

• Sweep hall and kitchen
• Email round to see if anyone knows a carpenter
• Make osteopath appointment

• Take photo of vest, number and medal from yesterday
• Wash stinky running/cycling kit
• Use Sticky Stuff remover on front door

Still need to:

• Sort out dinner
• Mission

But feeling as though I have actually accomplished something :)

Well done feet. That's really good going.

I've managed

• ran errands and picked up a parcel
• called health visitor to rearrange appointment
• put on dishwasher
• washing done
• bed made
• dinner sorted for tonight
• left over roast beef cut and frozen for next week
• played play doh with ToddlerScat
• bleached toilet

Still to do -

• mission
• put washing away
• sort documents for mortgage
• empty dishwasher.

DBIL's pants are not an issue. I bought them for him... long story!

Good news though, the kitchen has dried out! We need to wait a week to check, but then it's game on to bung it all back together again. Hopefully I'll be able to "fly" properly again at some point in November!

Parent's evening this week. I am all levels of ranty atm, and it always pisses me off. I will be fine next week when I should have calmed downa and be fine until the week of the next parent's evening

Downstairs is looking more reasonable.

to do
bit more interview prep
15 mins shredding paper clutter
swish and swipe
go to DC parents evening
cook tea (warm up batch cooked curry)

Personals later!!

[Joins in evil cackling with Fuzzpig and Grey, stirs cauldron]

Greymalkin and Can't agree about results not mirroring rl "success" (although that can be defined many ways) one of the most academically lazy, disruptive and uncooperative children in my class at school now runs a thriving multi-national company [she said, thus destroying her own argument ]

And that's not a bad list at all btw Grey!

Thank you so much Toffee I am excited about it!

And yy, , here's to good teachers everywhere! It's a heck of a job - don't know how they do it - must have patience of saints!!

And sorry to hear about the interview time change: it is a discombobulating feeling when you are all geared up for something and then ... damp squib ... . Hope you could salvage the rest of the day!

Aw and bless your ds1 not wanting any fuss on his birthday! Hope he has a lovely day anyway! And that ds2 is ok health-wise!

Good luck with all the hwk challenges too (you have my true sympathies there!!)

Hope list going well Feetheart and that you are reassured on the school reading front should you make enquiries. From your list looks as if you had a very successful run yesterday! Good luck with all of your 'to do s'!

Can'tsee think you make a lot of sense about the imbalances in the ed system. And really fascinating/reassuring to hear about your experiences of language learning. Thanks for much needed encouragement too (and yes, dd is taking multi-vits! Also find them v. good)

Having done a bit more hand-wringing, I am coming around to your pov and we are going with the "anything worth doing takes effort and hard work " route! (With obvious caveats if it starts to adversely affect her mh or something.) Obviously, it's hard for dd to see as far ahead as we can to the potential benefits so have to create some more immediate rewards to help her on her way. And yes, growing, puberty, mini identity crisis, all the changes encountered at the new, big, scary school are all taking their toll. Hopefully things will improve soon.

Thanks for yr encouragement too Scatty! We are British expats in Bxls, Belgium. DD being educated in French and Flemish at school (so some subjects in one lang, and some in the other). Fantastic opportunity but has its attendant stresses!

Good to hear you have managed a much-needed lie-in and good luck with book purge (one of the most difficult of decluttering tasks I find)! What works best for me is the 5 or 10 min 27 fling boogie (hate the name but it does work!) when I can't dither too much!

Good to hear your dh is being supportive btw.

How is BabyScat's teething? Any better?

Grey That's some 'to do' list you have there - hope it is going/went well! And that doc appt went well too.

We are in Bxls. Dh and dd are both v. happy here. (Well, dd was until start of secondary but v early days!) Me less so. (Not all bad by any means but miss family v much.) Miss green fields too. But because of nature of dh's work, he has to be here. So bit of a rock and a hard place situation. (If dd and I moved back to UK we would split the family which would be v. hard and dh travels enough without commuting between countries eveyr weekend.) We are endlessly discussing all the different options of housing/education/commutes etc and we need to stop because dd is picking up on all the uncertainty/negativity.

Sorry, but have to ask (hope I haven't asked this before and forgotten answer!) but ... vacuuming the garden???

Knitting Good luck (to you) and ds2 at the new tuition centre tomorrow. Hope it goes well! Thanks for (as usual) excellent advice. Yes, we will bide our time but your point about constantly feeling stupid in school is very well made. Will watch carefully and assess teachers reactions.

Fuzzpig lovely to hear you are feeling well today

Crikey Carpe I think doing other people's Flying counts twice!! So here's a couple of !!

Hope the paper shredding going well Chicken!

Big waves to everyone else (and to anyone I have inadvertently missed!)

Apologies - realise I have answered posts in all the wrong sequences and have now gone slightly bozz-eyed from scrolling

Intensely grateful (as ever!) for all of your support

Off to peel spuds!

I don't feel I can advise in the slightest about your DD's schooling but I'm glad the other wise MNers have helped you get a clearer view on it :) in some ways she may have felt very similar even if at an English school, as although she wouldn't have the language issues moving up to high school can be stressful and scary at the best of times, bless her.

I do agree about the 'coasting' - seen that in action with my DSCs. Two of them took to school very easily, early readers etc, never had to work hard. Both have had to repeat a year at sixth form. The eldest is at uni now and having had to do an access year, has finally - by their own admission - had the kick up the arse they needed. But my other DSC is very, very dyslexic. Struggled her way through every single lesson, never found anything easy. (Also had her mum repeatedly tell her she wasn't clever enough for the career she wanted, but that's a whole other thread .) She is now doing brilliantly in her last year at college, because she is working hard. Really hard - she still can't sail through her work like her peers because literacy is an enormous struggle for her. But she has by far the best work ethic of the three, and I really think she will be the one who 'goes the furthest' IYSWIM.

ta da
2 washes done and dried
DCs put their clothes away (haven't done ours yet)
Changed piano lesson
Piano with DD
Fair amount of learning with DCs
Updated tutoring account book
Some typing (need to do more)
Cleared kitchen a bit

to do
Put our clothes away
Read to DD

I am pleased with myself. For doing a tiny amount of housework

Changed ds1's sheets and removed all the laundry from his room. He is meant to do it himself, but I relented. Then cooked two brown stews, one a curry, one a Italian tomato. ds2 spent a lot of day wth his trainset in the new shed, and tidied his room at lightening speed.

Ds2 and I have been continuing to "explore the subject of The Englightenment" in preparation for the French Revolution. That sounds rather grand doesn't, in reality it still consists of me trying to get ds2 to read out parts of the libretto of Magic Flute, and arguing with me about Papageno's "sexist" comments which he doesn't think enlightened at all.

Dd went off to her Spanish tutor but ended up phoning me in a panic because there was police cordon blocking the road where tutor lived.

Toffee your ds1 will probably do the work for his teacher in school in the end, rather than us poor parents. Sometimes I've written suggestions on a piece of paper so that ds feels he can detach from me "interfering" and not just react angrily. It sounds as if your ds is actually asking your advice which is nice.

SC glad today was a morale raiser.
Blue it will all be over it will all be over it will all be over...soon. I think you did the right thing to move schools though, that isone less thing to settle.

Also done:
recycling
boil wash sheets
unload dw
rubbish
milkbottles
threw away some oldspices and condiments rom cupboard
thought about ds2' outfit for tomorrow. It has been so relaxed not having to think about smartish clothes, let alone uniform but I may have to iron something just to give the right impression.

oh sc I spent some time in bxl (ixelles) - one of the best years of my life! Is DH belge?
List done, apart from the shredding. Here goes.

Ta da:
morning routine inc dw, wm, animals, s&s, dining room table hot spots
dog walking x 1
charity meeting
dog grooming, ear and teeth cleaning and worming and flea prevention
dog-walk 2 (in rain)
tidy up downstairs but no real home bleugh
three loads of laundry, hung up two and td one
folded towels
rubbish and recycling
school run
hwk supervision
averted family clean pant crisis
supper (cold cuts and veg)
dog walk 3 in rain
planning re visitors
evening routine

Knitting that is NOT a tiny bit of housework at all! That is a very respectable list! Good luck for tomorrow (and the driving!).

Very true Fuzzpig she might have been hating secondary sch whatever country it was in! And agree that when push comes to shove, it is the work ethic that matters in the end and that can kick in at all sorts of different ages. Well done re: your long list too!

chicken it's amazing how many people you meet who have spent a year or so here! Dh's mother was Belge btw.

Meant to say Knitting hope your dd got back ok!

And fuzzpig sounds as if your dscs are doing really, really well.

Baby-step no. 6 for tomorrow, Tues 6th Oct , is here and concerns hot spots here.

We are in Zone 2 this week (October 4-10): Kitchen/ back porch/laundry room/pantry. Here!

Declutter for 15 mins in Zone 2 (or do a mission!).

If you are at that stage, the detailed cleaning list for Zone 2 is here.

Tuesday's mission can be found here getting rid of any paper clutter that has found its way in to the kitchen!

Tuesday's daily focus is planning.

The habit for October is: www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/october/ decluttering paper clutter!

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan: www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120.

Keep shredding everyone!

Thanks Knitting, and fuzz for the joke.

The estate agents for our sellers are really chasing hard, and have gone up to the regional manager who can theoretically administer a kicking from a greater height. But then we get different messages from the estate agents for our sale (which is where the delay is) and suspicion and anxiety creep in again.

SC I hope DD feels better soon - so hard to see them upset. The volunteering sounds really good though.

Well, you lot are chatty this month! It's lovely to read through it all, I'm just struggling to keep up, so I need to start posting again and reading a bit more often.

SC - you are doing an amazing job with the roundups, much appreciated. Glad to hear about the volunteering and sorry to hear about DD and schooling, I don't feel I have much advice but can proffer sympathy.

On the subject of coasting, Grey - your Dh sounds much like mine. Did nothing at school till he was about 15, then got his finger out and went on to first class honours in a hard subject, PhD and is now a successful business owner with very specialised skills. However I think times have changed and he may not have got away with it nowadays.

Toffee - good luck on Weds, and someone else, who was it, Chicken - I don't think we've "met" (I've been skiving for a couple of weeks), same to you too.

Well, Flying wise, DH has really got his finger out recently. Has made the day to day keeping on top of things a lot easier. Upstairs has deteriorated again. Am feeling that next year is going to be the year we finally start doing up this house, having got DS's statementing process out of the way, I think the need to put time and money aside for that in the last few years has overshadowed house maintenance. I may also have been inspired by visiting a friend who is successfully renovating a multi-million pound house over the weekend. Hmm.

Is it bad that I'm not even looking at the links yet? I'm still trying to just get a few little bits done each day!

I didn't manage to put the clothes away - quite sore hands/arms this evening, but I have done more typing (oh hang on, that may explain the soreness!) and had a lovely evening with DD while DH took DS to Beavers - we played games, practised typing and I read some of her bedtime story - which is something that often falls by the wayside since we started home ed. So I feel I've had a really good day overall :)

I did also sort out all my tablets, which due to some supplements being out of date () also solved another problem. 4 Boots vitamin bottles are now empty and will be washed ready to cover in clay and turn into canopic jars! They're the perfect shape and the fact that they are small means we won't need so much clay. On the other hand, I am a bit disappointed that I no longer have an excuse to buy 4 mini tubs of Pringles. :(

Blue - sorry things are taking so long on the moving front.

Blue why do you think they are trying to delay the sale? The estate agents I mean?

Whoknows I was watching a bit of Wayne Rooney story with kids and I said to dd - there don't you think our kitchen is MUCH nicer. They had a very very smart kitchen all pillars and granite worktops and I thought, eeuch. However, it those subtle renovations that fill one with envy...fresh light airy, new floors, storage effortlessly concealing clutter.. Not to speak of roofs that don't leak and windows that don't rattle and unrotted window frames.

Just did following:
dusted under ds2's bed - thick dust
dusted some video shelves - thick dust
sorted some clothes and put them away
hung out clothes for tomorrow to dry
resorted ds2's drawers - he had put all his dirty clothes in drawers again [sigh] not that dirty, just not fresh stuff

dd has made a packed lunch for tomorrow
I've put the curry/stew in Tupperware in the fridge

still have to wipe worktops though

Good morning all!!

Happy birthday to Dogsbum and to Toffee's ds1!!

Dogsbum hope you have a lovely day and that visit to hv goes well with Meerkitten showing some weight gain x

Toffee hope ds1 enjoys his day!

Oh NO Blue that is absolutely wretched. Why is the delay at the estate agents ie why are they still involved if there has been an offer subject to contract which has presumably been accepted? Surely that would now be in the hands of the solicitors (if you don't mind me being nosy - don't answer if you don't want to.)? Hellish for you whatever the scenario though.

Thanks Whoknows and very good to hear that your dh is now stepping up to the plate (if you don't mind me saying so, I remember the days prior to your op when he was still in need of a bit of "training" from your good self). And well done to him wrt his business achievements!

Ditto about the house renovations!! How exciting! We are at the point now, since fil's death, with sil self supporting again, that we can afford to start the works (hence all the endless discussions about doing up to sell, doing up to rent in full, doing up to rent in part, moving to uk or not etc). No choice anyway because the roof will fall in soon if we don't get a move on and hefty chunks of masonry keep falling out of the cellar walls!! Good luck with all the planning!

Fuzzpig great that you got quite a few things done despite achey arms!

Knitting exactly the same here wrt leaky roofs, rattling windows and rotting frames and all attendant drafts!! I dream of custom made storage units. Well done for ploughing through so many chores yesterday and hope ds2 enjoys his time at tuition centre and drive not too onerous.

Encouraging wing flaps to everyone else!

Right, dd has gone off to school looking like she is about to walk the plank but bolstered by the advice on this thread, managed to keep calm and tread carefully around her tetchiness this morning and tried to be encouraging/positive (Previously I think my guilt was making me feel tetchy too ifyswim.) So thank you everyone

Visitors next week so need to whip the first floor in to shape. DD is at hwk club tonight and dh is off travelling so hopefully will have a large stretch of uninterrupted time in which to do so, punctuated by dog walks.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Hello everyone, room for a little one?

We moved to this house 11 months ago and have a 10mo DD so understandably we've not fully unpacked or even sorted our main bedroom out.

Anyway I really struggle to keep on top of cleaning and chores, most of the time I have the kitchen tidy and living room tidy but there are areas of mess and clutter in every room
I came onto this board to look for some cleaning rota ideas and found this fab thread. I've heard of fly lady before but never started doing it after I shined my sink one night and now after reading this thread I'm a little nervous and think I'll be behind.
Please tell me to start on the 1st of the month.....!

Don't be so silly DontBuy Jump in and just to start where we are. The whole point about Flylady is that you are NEVER behind. Welcome to the thread