Autumn leaves flutter as October Fledglings Fly!

[standclear]

Welcome to the October 2015 Fledgling Flying thread!

Park your broomsticks and cauldrons here!! Or is that just me ?

This is where, from the 1st of the month, we attempt to declutter and follow the 30-step wisdom of Flylady (minus cutesy language and a surfeit of e-mails) with lots of chat and support and mutual motivation (and of course) along the way.

More info available here and here and here.

As usual we will be following a three-pronged approach - and don't worry - we are all at different stages. (Some of us are still stuck at the decluttering stage after quite a few years ):

• repeat or start baby steps (again!)

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

or

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

And those of you who have decluttered and are really enthusiastic can throw some detailed cleaning in to the mix as well!

The idea is that we focus on short, ring-fenced, daily steps and routines that will help our homes run (more or less!) on "automatic pilot" allowing us to do far more interesting things instead!

This is a very long-running thread so we may appear cliquey but we really aren't! All newcomers, long-termers, lurkers and intermittent returnees not only welcome to join in but positively encouraged to do so!

Helpful pointers: No perfectionism allowed! If it took a while to create the current C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) in your home, then it will probably take a while to reverse the situation (you can't clean clutter!). Small steps are the key! And you are never behind: just jump in where you are at!

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck!

Big waves to all.

Now back home. Have unpacked, but mess everywhere.

Chicken - mine too, enough that I made it my career.

Dogs - thanks! Spoken, I'm actually pretty rusty, but turning French and German into good English I can do. :)

Back to chasing up lawyers again tomorrow though. SC - yes, you're right, it's the trust that's gone right out of the window now. :( So draining. We're definitely at the "a plague on all their houses" stage.

Sorry been MIA. Trying to catch up. night out last night and ill today lol.
Hope everyone well. I'm back on it tomorrow. X

Good morning everyone!

[Mops brow] Bloody hell, I feel as if I have already been born, lived and died this morning and it's only 7.50 am. And there was me assuming that a 12 yr old daughter would be mature and calm enough now to have rational conversations instead of shouting in the morning. [Gulps down blood pressure tablets]. I only reminded her to be determined about chasing up missed work (she can be a bit shy/passive about this sort of this if not reminded).

Anyway, DD has gone to school - that's the main thing - but hope they make it on time because dh was rather slow this morning despite my constant chivvyings. Think it is actually less stressful to do the school runs myself when we leave with time to spare.

Think I have made a very bad strategic error though. Thanks to the recommendations of Toffee and Knitting - which I was very grateful for - I bought dd some second hand English maths books from Galore Park (because maths is not her strong point and I thought it might be easier if basics reinforced in Eng and not Fr). We are delighted with the books and dd took to them immediately.

Unfortunatley, last night I came across her doing some exercises from the books on her own initiative which is all good, but she was crying . She said studying is so much easier in her own language and she hates having to study in other langs, that she can't express herself properly, or get angry in another language and that she is English and wants to be with other English dc and wants to go to a school in England. Oh dear.

I am hoping that this is just new school collywobbles. What we are asking her to do is undoubtedly very hard but, on the other hand, it's pretty common here though for dc to study in two or three langs that are not their mother tongue. The main difference between dd and her classmates though is that we are first generation migrants and most of her classmates are second generation, so there is a lot of Fr spoken at home.

Oh dear [gnaws knuckles] I don't know. We'll see ... .

Sorry for early morning angst... back to Flying ...

Ta da:
carried ironing upstairs
found dd clean pants
found dh clean pants
wrapped birthday present
copied med certificates
polished dd's shoes
made dd's lunch
did dd's plait
(considers employing dd a personal valet)

To do today:
overnight load in td
morning routine in dw, wm, animals, s&s, dining room table hot spot
dog grooming, ear and teeth cleaning and worming and flea prevention
dog-walking
meeting with nun (new charity work)
tidy up
poss a bit of a downstairs home bleugh
a significant amount of laundry
home office
school run
hwk supervision

This week:
diet & exercise
chase up missing parcels
make appts
sort banking
sort on-line transaction
on-line shopping
boudoir
home office

Hope you are feeling much better this morning Scatty!

Good luck wrangling with the lawyers this morning Blue and hope you can stimulate some definitive action on their part.

Good luck with your interview this week Chickentothefox!! And don't worry, I am still decluttering after years and years on here. It is better than it was though!

Waves to Can'tsee and everyone else!

Have a good day eveyrone!

sc That soubds stressful. Sorry dd is struggling. Where are you based just now? (Sorry if you've said and I've missed it). Sounds like you've been doing some fab flying though. Well done!!

Much better this morning thanks.hubby had a mega clean ok Saturday as he knew I was struggling a bit last week so the house isn't too bad actually yay and managed to sell BabyScat's crib so now have a bit more space and money towards a new car seat yay.

Have managed to get a washing on and make bed so far this morning. BabyScat was up again lots last night so I did sneak a long lie haha.

Today's plan

• look out documents for mortgage company
• phone my work about my KIT a day on Friday
• daily mission
• purge books

Good luck everyone today x

Morning all.

SC life sounds really tough for your family at the moment; school sounds like a real challenge for your dd and it seems like you find keeping up with / on top of your house exhausting. Are you all happy where you are currently? If not what would be the alternative?

Dogs - babies are such a worry! Hope your little one perks up after her jabs, poor thing. Do you have any plans for tomorrow?

Toffee and Chicken - fingers crossed for your interview outcomes

Waves to Blue, Carpe, Knitting, WhoKnows, CS4L, Honu, Ellie, Feetheart, Castle, Engles, Mercury, Scatty and anyone else I'm bound to have missed.

Ta da
DS up and fed
Cats fed and let out
Dishwasher emptied
Washing machine on, next load lined up
Made doctors appointment

To do
Go to doctors
Lots of admin:
*check and sign two lots of legal paperwork
*nursery paperwork
*email ds's future school
*business accounts and filing
Put away dry laundry
Laundry
Laundry
More laundry
Wrap DBs birthday present and buy card
Meal plan
Online shop
Wrangle DH into the loft to bring wine making equipment down and to put away loads of stuff that belongs up there
Change bed sheets x3
At least 15 minutes doing some serious decluttering in the dining room, probably paper clutter.
Book hair cut
Vacuum the garden.

Right, best get cracking....

SC dmum stopped teaching me to be bilingual on bioggeted bad english health visitor advice/inlaw pressure. I spent a lot of my youth hating her for that. As an adult I could fix it but atm cba. It is hard for kids to take the difficult path, it is also hard for parents. But if you stop and move her, it is also likely that at some point she will hate you for that too when she realises how being multi-linguial can open many doors for her opportunity wise. ANd she would find the english system slow and backward. The skill she has worked on for the last 3 years ds has not covered in school. Children here are completely babied and there is a lack of expectation on ability to learn. It drives me potty and quite frankly why they are always pissing about doing "fun" things elludes me. It is a huge culture shock when they realise that not everything is fun and that sometimes you just have to work. And if they took half of the pissing about theme days out then perhaps they might have the extra time they seem to crave The english system may have the best in the world in the past, but there are ethnic families (2nd gen) sending their kids to live with grandparents and relatives in their native country to get a proper education, the numbers of this are increasing. It is a really sad state of affairs and it is not the teachers fault. It is the fault of the politicians making education a political tool to be meddled with rather than the key feature in the future and current strength of the country. :(

In short, there is no right or wrong answer. It is a hard path and dd will need extra support and understanding but it opens doors for her that changing this will potentially close. I suspect she is still feeling fragile and weepy from being ill which has made the tears more likely and more readily to happen and that she is completely and utter worn out physically and emotionally from feeling this way so the whole world and small things seem so much worse. Is she on multi-vitamins to support her through her growth spurt? They really help ds from getting ds so run down and he has been much better since we found one he can stand to take. Hang in there, it will be ok. Might not be tonight but it will.

Crikey you fledglings have got plenty done already, we only woke up at 9

DCs now playing upstairs til 10, when they'll come down for their core skills work.

To Do
Typing - lots of sessions throughout the day (can't really do it all in one long stretch as I get achy )
A few sessions of learning with DCs (not actually sure what yet)
2 loads of washing
Tumble dry the above
Put away all our clothes
Contact piano pupil's mum to rearrange this week's lesson
Arrange all tablets, supplements etc into pill box and check everything for use by dates
Get something out of the freezer for dinner (DH will be cooking it though)
Nice time with DD while DS at Beavers

Hmm, that'll do! Have a productive day everyone!

SC I would just wait until see until she has been better for a week. Dd went through many stages of wanting to go to school a) nearer b) school with old primary chums c) private school which she perceived as better and status enhancing.

However I will say this, to feel like you are stupid in a school is not a good feeling, whatever the academic resources of that school. Personally I would have a talk to her class teacher in a few weeks time if things don't improve to find out what they think is going on. If they show little interest in her feelings you know you have the wrong school, whatever the "status" of the school.

The thing is, if she was in an English school she would probably be considered academically very advanced. Neighbours have just moved their child from a French primary (follows French curriculum) to local state school, and he tested top for everything, to the extent that he now cannot do the Maths because they put him in the top set and he is complaining about that.

sorry my grammar wasn't up to much in the middle paragraph

total chaos here, but two children in school and one waiting for instruction. It is not going particularily well but tomorrow he is going to new tuition place so I am just going to wing it today. Weekend was nice enough.

4 I don't necessarily agree with your thoughts on the English school system. I think it is less academically rigorous but the people who do want to learn, DO. Dd's and ds's schools are comprehensives and they have all the usual faffing around with posters and creative thinking but in the end...yes...they do turn out a lot of well educated, A* students, and more importantly the C students have had the chance to learn what they could and not be relegated to dunces. Some people get A's in some subjects and C's in others but at least they have been allowed to experience the full breadth of the curriculum..and find that they are really good at science even if they are rubbish at English. My children are not academic and they are lazy to boot, but at least I know whatever they are inspired to do they will receive encouragement in. So ds1, has been tremendously encouraged in music and English, and geography too, despite all his deficiencies (and I use that word advisedly because he is immensely lazy) He now wants to do them and he is interested in them, and was talking non-stop about Macbeth yesterday after watching the film, INSPIRED by the work he did in class.

Impossible to improve on Cant 's eminently sensible advice above, so I can only say I'm sending sympathies to you, SC, and virtual to spur you on. I'm always so impressed by what you cope with and the amount you get done.

fuzz - one of the joys of home ed is being able to get up later and not having the morning rush. I miss that.

Grey - I also have the Organized Mum family planner: I love the six columns (I use one for meal planning) and space for notes and shopping lists. However, I do wonder if it's a bit mumsy sometimes and have been considering changing this year.

Scatty - glad you've been cheered by a helpful DH and a tidier house . Remember to do something nice for yourself today .

Blue - good luck with your ongoing battle with the lawyers and estate agents.

Carpe - no kitchen . That's not good. We lived without a kitchen for about two weeks when Ds2 was a baby. It was chaotic and difficult. Glad ILs are helping you through it.

chicken - personally, I think life is too short for detailed cleaning. When is your interview? Best of luck.

Dogs - your birthday is the same date as my older son's. Hope you have a lovely day. Sorry DD's weight is down again and hope it's a temporary blip.

WhoKnows - nice to see your familiar old name back.

Was all geared up for possible interview this afternoon, but have just had it confirmed for Wednesday instead. Am relieved, but also sorry I can't get it out of the way. Have had good advice from two friends who have been busily climbing the career ladder for the past few years, so am feeling a bit clearer about what I want (and don't want) now.

Spent Sunday ironing and supervising DC's homework. DS1 still having real problems getting his words down on paper for his English essay because nothing is good enough for him. He refuses to include the work he's done at school, but did eventually agree to using the introduction he'd already written in the holidays. Then said, "Have I done enough?" No, DS1, because you still haven't written anything new . Finally, finally, he wrote another half page. It's like getting blood out of a stone. Am hoping he improves as he gets used to essay writing and homework.

DS2 reluctantly did his spellings and multiplication revision yesterday. He wasn't very well when he woke up this morning, but he's had a couple of days off when he turned out to be well enough for school, so I didn't want him to be off again. DH said he really didn't look well in the car, so I've probably got it wrong the other way this time, but at least he's gone in and I trust that the teacher will ring if he's not ok.

Have to wrap DS1's presents and write in his card now. In true Asperger fashion, he doesn't want any fuss on his birthday, not even a cake. However, I have bought him some small things to unwrap, as well as a funny, personalised card. And DS2 ordered his own personalised card for him too.

knitting - new tuition place for DS1 sounds interesting (and good that it will relieve some of the burden of tuition on you). Fantastic to hear of DS1's new interests. It is all down to inspiring teachers and self confidence. I think laziness can be down to low self confidence.

There is nothing wrong with the english education system other than it has been turned into a political tool that is medalled with so much it is almost impossible for the teachers to do their job properly. But I have also heard a lot of complaints from secondary school teachers about the children who refuse to work and complain when it is not fun because work ethic/the idea it is not always fun has not been instilled prior to their attendance at secondary school. Ds is lazy, but there has been nothing in the primary school system to encourage him to be anything but lazy. Not everyone is academic, no this is true. But even the non academic need work ethic and to understand that not everything can be fun and sometimes you just need to work. The lack of pride of work shouts out in so many schools. School days are seem as a time to mess about and have fun rather than an important stage which requires focus. Everyone complains about state vs public, this attitude different is the only difference. Teaching can do little if the kids don't see the point in focusing or putting in effort.

toffee laziness is also down to low expectations. Ds has never been stretched because he shows some progress and because there is a culture of only praising and positive comments. What he really needs is someone to sit him down and tell him straight that he needs to stop pissing about, get over his self importance of being in the top part of the class and that he could actually do better if he could be arsed. He is a level 6 plus student who would happily churn out a piece of level 3 writing and think it is acceptable. He has never been told otherwise. It drives me crazy. Child complaining about never getting anything to challenge him, but yet not understanding the need to actually work at the level he is so that the teachers can see. Also why can't schools get over the fact that I really really really don't give a shit if he is in the top of the class academically if he is NOT making any progress and actually going backwards because he is allowed to be lazy and half arsed is praised?

And I say all this as someone who was not academic, who struggled with writing and reading, but who through teacher training has had the mis fortune to see this across many different schools in different socio-economic regions.

Oh and before anyone says it, it is nothing that anyone here has said, but I really really really can't wait to be out of the primary school system!! It annoys me to the same extent as CAMHS and their arsy farting about refusing to do anything but being the only people who can.

Woohoo! I've actually done some flying today! Admittedly it's not my flying but it all counts - right?!

DBIL kindly gave me a key to his house so I could use his loo (2 mins away) when I need to be at the house for workmen. So, I may have come in to use the facilities and have a cuppa and then sort of got carried away and done his washing up, his washing and cleaned his kitchen. He's going to kill me!

Well, I needed a cuppa!

Aw Carpe I'd be very grateful if you were my sister :o although possibly feel slightly awkward if the washing included undies :o

OMG DS is REALLY irritating me today. We've only got core skills done so far, surprisingly it was DD who did it all without a single complaint - usually the other way round.

So far I've stuck a towel wash on, got some typing done and texted pupil's mum, must go and choose tonight's dinner or it won't defrost. And sort my tablets out now as I need to take my first one anyway. Not actually feeling too bad today which is nice :) and DH finishes work early too.

toffee - it's on Weds too. Best of British with yours too! I really want this one, but it's in a different field to what I currently do so can't see it happening. Maybe I should embrace the woo and visualise Good Things.

We have just entered the school system and it's going OK (DC1 in EYFS). Am a bit at the praise for mundane things "I got a sticker for [insert something she has been doing confidently since age 3]", but otherwise happy so far.

As for flying, maybe after lunch...

Arrrrrrrrgh! Lawyers!

That is all.

chicken - oh good luck to you for your interview as well. We shall have to compare notes. I'm ambivalent about whether I want this job, actually. It's not in the department I want to work in and it's poorly paid. However, I do like the company and it would get me back into work, with scope to move departments later, maybe.

CantSee - not all teachers are part of that culture of positivity: eg. the teacher who told DS2 he wasn't good at maths . But I take your point about over praising, which children are quick to spot, in my experience. I remember DS2 referring to adult's 'fake praise' when he was very young.

Forgot to put the rubbish out this morning and the lorries have just driven away. Damn.

Now I have cleaned out my rant a bit 2 boxes of junk sorted What pisses me off is the negativity towards kids who are trying but not academically talented, and the positivity to kids who are academically talented but just bone idol. It is this imbalance which is the issue. A's and B's during school are not the indicator of success in life, which is a shame as the school system sees it this way. Most successful out of my year group and the only just got enough GCSE's to get in to study their trade brigade who worked their asses off. System demoralises both able and unable equally just in different ways

Just back and much cheered by meeting with lovely Assumptionist nuns; the full spectrum of kindly traditional elderly ones at the convent door in full habits, and campaigning (more strident) young multi-lingual ones (fascinating!!) in mufti (jeans and trainers) at new volunteering centre down the road (where they are empowering immigrant women through lang learning and education).

I'm so happy because despite not being available on the right afternoon owing to it being dd's school half day, I am going to be able to help 'behind the scenes' in other ways after all and pop in every so often, and step in when another teacher unavailable. I'll be working in the art & bricolage class for 6-9 yr olds who are looked after while their mothers are in class, but will be helping out a bit in all sections hopefully (sometimes in Eng).

It is a cause very close to my heart because although I know a little bit about the difficulties of living in a country other than your own, what it must be like to do so having escaped violence, endured a terrifying journey and ended up in a strange land in temporary accommodation without a job, family support, educational opportunities without one word of the native languae, I cannot imagine. Also, anything to educate women and in turn combat mysogyny in any culture is a good thing imo!!

But on a v. selfish level, must confess that I thoroughly enjoyed heading out of the front door of a Monday morning having a purpose as in days of yore!! (Although I'm rather ashamed to admit (rather pathetically) that dh very kindly came with me this first time because it is in a rather rough area of town, but now I know where it is, I'll be fine on my own and felt totally comfortable there!)

Interesting rants about education.
I'm a bit at DS's experience with reading at the moment - brought far too easy book home on first day of term, read it in one sitting and took it, and reading record, back the next day and since then...nothing.
I am suspicious that they haven't taken the time to get the measure of him and so aren't stretching him and if this is happening with reading then what else is it happening in? He doesn't coast at the moment but it would be very easy for him to fall into the habit and that would Not Be Good.

Back to Flying! So far I have:

• Got everyone up and out with kit, lunches, etc
• Done two lots of washing
• Done a load of work

Now need to:

• Get lunch
• Breakfast and lunch washing up
• Bread machine on
• Create 'To Do' list for the week
• Email DJ for school discos for the year
• S&S x 2
• Sweep hall and kitchen
• Sort out dinner
• Email round to see if anyone knows a carpenter
• Make osteopath appointment
• Take photo of vest, number and medal from yesterday
• Wash stinky running/cycling kit
• Use Sticky Stuff remover on front door
• Mission
• 15 mins paper decluttering

That's far too big a list, power of three is required, starting with lunch :)

Oh Blue :(

Here's a joke (stop me if you've heard it)

An explorer finds an ancient lamp, and when he rubs it a genie appears. "You have 3 wishes! But beware - for every thing you wish for, all the lawyers in the world will get twice as much as you."
Fair enough, thinks the explorer. "A Ferrari, please!"
The man gets his Ferrari, but soon gets rather grumpy about seeing several lawyers around with two beautiful cars.
His second wish - a million pounds. Fabulous - but of course all the lawyers are far richer than he.
"What is your third wish, Master?" asks the genie. "And remember the rule!"
The explorer thinks it over.
"I'd like to donate a kidney..."