The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Two...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Sorting out the home when you're a hoarder (big or small) is never going to be easy and we should know! but having someone else to support you, talk about it with you and make you feel much less of a freak of mother nature makes a huge difference!

If you are any of the following:
A hoarder. In a mess. Untidy. Disorganised. Lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small.

Welcome to thread number 2! :)

Today I sewed something for the first time in what feels like years. I think getting rid of so much craft stuff made me feel lighter and less oppressed/like a failure

and I was able to have a simple goal, so I sewed a Christmas decoration from a kit that I have hoarded for ages but never done anything with.

Next step is to use all that coloured felt which has sat in a box for a million years, Christmas wreath perhaps.

I've committed myself to at least a hour's sewing every evening. There is so much more time now that everything is tidier/less cluttered and I can put things away at last.

Sorted through the bottom bit of my wardrobe this evening, and found an Advent Candle holder, which I have put out. Never would have even found it if I hadn't started decluttering the pile of indecisiveness in there, reproaching me at every turn!!! Also found a curtain which is half sewn. Perhaps that better be dealt with before the felt stash

Meadow that is very sad. And frightening. For me. I know that my Dc's are just going to have crap memories of childhood (I doubt my Ds remembers the time before the 'problem'. I know that my house is dangerous. I need to address these issues. My son has moved out partly because of the mess I'm in. It makes me very unhappy.

Cag and knitting as usual you are going somewhere so really well done :).

I'm staying home; will go to Mum for Christmas day, but be home the rest of it. The problem with running away is that you often have to return to it and I do.

I'm sorry Solo I hadn't realised that was part of why DS was leaving :( keep going though, he will see eventually that you are trying. He really will. Everything is amplified when you are a naturally selfish teen! I know I was so much angrier about it all then. While as an adult I can still see that it wasn't a great way to grow up, I'm not angry about it anymore, I am genuinely proud of the effort both my parents have made to move past their hoarding ways. Really proud. :) I know you can get there too. You REALLY can. You are not in denial, you have accepted there is a problem and you are trying to deal with it. This thread is proof, we wouldn't all be here discussing it if it weren't for the fact that YOU have spoken out about the issues you are fighting. Xx

Adora the blazer sounds awesome :o

Knitting yay for sewing! It's funny how having a clearer space gives you a clearer head to be able to do these things. I actually read to the DCs at bedtime today which I haven't done for ages - which is ridiculous as we all enjoy it, I just find it so hard to have the energy for it. But having got their room tidy and knowing that loads of clutter was sorted meant I was in the right mindset to do it.

Just put 2 rails worth of hangers in tge skip. They were in situ when we moved in. I wanted to get rid, DH said they could be useful. Specifically - and if we can't afford to buy hangers when we need some?

I wanted to put something in the spare room and couldn't get another hanger in the wardrobe. So they've gone.

It is Cag

Solo children often want to leave home and have their own lives regardless of what their parents do, some children hate their parents controlling their space and constantly tidying; I'm sure there is still lots of love there and respect from ds

Trigger: My children HATE me throwing things away - they get very very attached to everything and every reminder of the past. Dd once cried for a week because I painted her room a different colour when she was 7.
But then they like a tidy spacious house too, I think we are all bundles of contradictions.

I had a setback today; saw a friend's very tidy house all sparkling and vibrant yet decluttered and functioning I was standing there in my dirty clothes which I had taken my possessions to the tip in. Felt a bit of a failure again, why has this taken so long/is it taking so long?

Came home had a shower, felt better (after eating lots of taramasalata and bread and getting into bed in a clean shirt).

Today I actually achieved a lot though, for me: (not by other people's standards I suppose but I have to keep remembering it is for me not them)

went to tip twice, front garden almost cleared of the rubbish and cardboard boxes now. Let thenewish spare ikea cupboard fronts I've had in loft for 12 years go, unused, unebayed. Such a relief just to say, bye.

Started doing some more craft too. Ds2 made an enormous paper chain and I coloured a stain glass window picture. In the course of that I decluttered stationery drawer and threw away all the random pens and pencils, and kondoed the rest into groups. Found 3 calculators, 3 packets worth of coloured pencils, 10 pencil sharpeners, 12 rubbers. Everything really. But only a few feltips (dodgy) for the stained glass window, so threw them all away when I had finished, and bought a new packet from Sainsbury as a treat when I shopped for food this evening.

Ds2 and I put up paperchain. For first time we were able to find the drawing pins and the step ladder and those little pegs you hang Xmas cards on.

Kitchen v messy and so is landing still, but I am getting there (as long as I have no visitors and feel compelled to start hurling things back into cupboards)

I hover at skips and intercept people before they put stuff in today I saw someone with lots of coat hangers and box files and nearly asked her to give them to me, in case they came in useful. It is hard

Returned to my addict ways by taking a dressmaker's dummy from a lady at the skip, she was delighted. I did ask if it had "moth" she said oh no, it was very clean, but just didn't fit in her new house. Dd does textiles GSCE. I hope I am allowed to bring a new item in....sigh.

Solo the state of our house has made me tremendously unhappy, I so understand that it is not an easy problem to solve, I feel as if I have been very glib. Dh sells things for a living, old things, which makes it very difficult to distinguish between his work and his hoarding problem. Our landing has about a 1000 dvds on it. I suggested giving away some of the children's ones (like Nim's Island, or Enchanted, or Frog Princess) and he was adamant that it was a historic collection of our children's childhood, and someone might want to watch them...And there is the children on netflix, and now tv with streamed films, absolutely no need to own these films anymore. And someone might actually want to own them, who has small children, real small children. But no. It is an impasse. It may be one of those situations where I really have to box them up and put them somewhere for ten years out of sight but "safe" for him to recognise we don't need them. And then they'll probably have disintegrated...

I know I have a big problem here, but as much as I hate hate HATE it, I don't do enough about it. But I must. I've been told that I've not been put down to work at all over Christmas, so I'll have 10 days off. So, I have a week where I could actually dooooooo stuff.

I long to get sewing again. And knitting. Embroidering. Painting. Hell, I just want to get the house sorted out; rewired, new windows, a wood burner installed.

One of the mistakes I made Solo over the last 16 years was to confuse what I wanted my house to look like now, with the fantasies of the sort of person I wanted to be (the sort of nurturing/creative/artistic person who had various possessions/memories)

Once you have written down your goals for what you want your house to be in the next sixth months, you can start thinking what the obstacles are. And if the obstacles are things which are clogging up your space, then you have to start detaching yourself from them, whether it is tables, chairs, lamps, craft stuff, books, dvds. It doesn't matter how much they mean to you, think of what you could do if you get rid of them, one piece at a time, whether in the bin, or left outside for someone else to use, or taken to charity shop in one tiny bagsworth that you can easily carry. The more you do, the easier it gets, because when the thing is gone - when you actively will it gone, which you agonised over keeping, you realise how little it meant to you.

I don't think it is about organising, or a big push. It is trying to just remove some of the stuff from the house so you can see clearly. Like leaves falling from a tree in winter, necessary as a prelude to next year's spring. A friend was talking to me about Advent, and how we get confused by all the Xmas decs etc, when Advent should be a time of paring down, beautiful winter light where we see more clearly, then the next stage is presents and warmth and comfort and Spring, but you need that Advent stage, preparation bit. Windows and Woodburner are the final steps, they are your reward for the main goal which is to free up your space, however you achieve that.

And this morning I am willing myself to sew that curtain (one of four which I have only made two of so far for my bedroom) which is now sitting on bedroom floor having been excavated from the wardrobe.

This is vying with the problem of Christmas food shopping, ordering some toys for nephews and neices, getting ds1 to revise, tidying house, changing sheets on bed, and mountains of laundry. But I am determined to do it, the bag is sitting there accusing me and it's now or never.

Curtain has been there for seven years or more, unfinished. Moved around the house to different organised places but never actually sewed.

I've chucked a CD and a some Xmas bunting. And hoping to give a tray away tomorrow to the person I think lent it to me in the first place, if she doesn't want it back, it will be decluttered to box on my doorstep for passers by.

Today I managed to put out a Stagecoach teeshirt, 2 books on space and a Simpson's book. Stained glass colouring book may have to go too, if no-one wants to do any..there were no takers yesterday from my kids (admittedly they are teens and not really interested in colouring)

gosh this is like a jigsaw which gets easier as it goes along. Just found everything I needed for the curtain because I had decluttered the sewing stuff, actually found pins and white thread and rufflette tape. Curtain is half done, although taking a while because sewing machine area still not sorted out.

Going to throw away the curtain rings in the drawer now, there is no need for them at all - don't know why I have them

You make so much sense knitting you really do. Now if I can just make myseld do some of it...You are going great guns :)

Well, yesterday I finished the dreaded curtain! Yay.

One more to go.

I sat looking at the felt and the plans to make a zany felt wreath and thought, no, my time is better spent cleaning and talking to kids (I listened to music and did some more stained glass colouring which took all of 25 minutes but very restful/creative) Put all the acrylic felt out for some bright spark to use for Christmas crafts with much younger children. Then added all the other Christmas craft stuff i had been hoarding, bits of ribbon and pompoms. (Okay I kept some tartan ribbon ) Someone took it almost immediately as my house is on the school run route. Felt really pleased that someone is actually using it. That is another box of stuff gone.

Then took out all the last bits of fabric I had, and wrapped round sofa scatter cushions (which are a nasty mustard colour to start with/okay a rich golden velvet )new material looked fresh and pretty. So that is next project, make new scatter cushion covers for beige ikea sofa, or get rid of that fabric. I had bought it for a patchwork project, which I can see I am never going to do in next sixth months. Or ever at this rate. So a positive use for fabric instead. 5 big Sewing drawers now all reduced to A3 one cardboard box with lift off lid. I think I can manage that!!! And that has every kind of thread, needle, knitting needle, paper pattern, and one sewing mag for the "adverts" so surely plenty to sew with if I really need to.

Sat and watched a DVD of Meet Me in St Louis with ds2. he was not in the slightest interested, had to force him to watch my favourite bits. A whole box of musical Dvds my mum gave me 2 years ago, musicals I've loved in the past. However, time for them to go to someone else. They will come on telly, I will never miss out on them in reality, and the children really are not attached at all to them, unlike me. [so many happy memories of watching those films on Christmas TV..although come to think of it, we never expected to OWN the films did we, it was serendipity if they were screened, and such fun to find what was in Radio Times line up for Xmas)

Another vote for a god in ruins. Now reading life after life and equally enjoying. Love her work.

had a setback in the sense that I decided to keep all the Musical Dvds. As La La Land which ds1 is looking forward to, apparently is in the spirit of many old films so he may want to now watch them (he is doing Drama and Music for A level) Drat. No willpower here.

However, I have managed to reduce the stationery box down to smaller area, throw away several KS3 workbooks, declutter an entire drawer of a desk and throw a lot away (mostly dd's nailpolish and paperclips)
chucked a box of little organiser drawers (you cannot organise clutter)

Now I have too many drawing pins, too many pencils and far too many empty loose leaf files, 10 drawing pads, umpteen wodges of file paper. I should keep them all surely?? Or perhaps put in loft??Help.. With three teens surely will be useful. But still clogging up the space. not sure.

previous poster..I love Kate Atkinson.

Living room looks so much better now, I am beginning to see the floor. and the corners of the room. Ditched my cushion idea, it was too fussy. Will declutter the material after all. I was getting sidetracked. cushions can wait.

Managed to put icecream maker away in the cupboard for first time in years, as there is now room there since I gave away the chisels.. Dd loves the idea of the icecream maker but hasn't actually bothered to make any. It may be next for the chop. At that age I made icecream all the time. But I may have to let go of that dream too.

Thread fell off my tio. Marking place, need to get rid of some crap before next week

I've thrown away old "dressing up clothes" today (not real costumes, just shirts and bits of fabric, or cobbled together stuff i made for dd) An enormous panier full. I've also thrown away lots of workbooks from primary, kept the interesting things but chucked the numeracy and blank pages and worksheets. So that is an entire plastic laundry basket (the tall type) of stuff thrown away. [still in yard though]

brought some pale green slub linen "Foyle's war" colour, I had been hoarding upstairs. I think I will call it "sludge" coloured and get rid of it to charity shop.

Looked in loft to store some boxes from landing (stuff I really DO want to keep), feel I could be more ruthless next time I go up there, having chucked most away, there is still plenty more that shouldn't be there from years back. Stairgate boxes and horrid old suitcases. A chair that needs to come downstairs and be used.

There is so much more to do though isn't there. I'm realising how dirty everything is, partly because I never get to dusting things after tidying them, which is what you do when there is too much stuff to tidy, constantly.

yesterday I found my engagement ring, which had been lost for two months. When I sorted out the pile next to my bed Gosh it doesn't take much does it, to just make life better..? Threw away loads of redundant pens and pencils in my bedroom, why do I need them there anyway?

OMG! knitting I am in awe of you! You are a machine!