The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Two...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Sorting out the home when you're a hoarder (big or small) is never going to be easy and we should know! but having someone else to support you, talk about it with you and make you feel much less of a freak of mother nature makes a huge difference!

If you are any of the following:
A hoarder. In a mess. Untidy. Disorganised. Lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small.

Welcome to thread number 2! :)

Hi Anahata welcome :) sorry about the divorce. Sounds like a fresh start is in order, I'm glad your H is getting his stuff out of there. :)

I've done nothing today as we've been out doing home ed stuff. But yesterday I got rid of loads more paperwork, including plenty that didn't need shredding.

For example old school reports. Why was I keeping them? Sure, sometimes it's nice to read them - I was a clever nerdy kid and academics were the one area I could really shine in. But mostly it just makes me sad when I read them because it makes me remember everything else about school, which was horrible (not fitting in, being bullied etc). So. They're gone. I feel lighter. :)

Hello everybody. I've been dipping in and out of this thread as a guest for a couple of months now. I've been so impressed and reassured by how supportive everyone is that I took the plunge and opened an account yesterday. So is it OK for another newbie to join in?

It feels weird going straight into the reasons I'm here but here goes...... I will try to be as brief as possible but unfortunately there is a fair bit to explain.

I'm 46, single, with no children, no friends, family all live in a different country. I live in a rented 2 bedroom terraced cottage, alone...except for severe anxiety and rampant OCD. Have tried various treatments over the years but for a number of reasons, have never been able to get on top of things.

I don't think I'm a hoarder, although I'm prepared to be proved wrong. The amount of stuff I want to get rid of would probably fit into the standard sized cupboard under my stairs (except for a few bits of furniture that should have been dumped years ago). However there are two things that seem to be preventing me from dealing with it. First, I have such a fear of germs that actually getting stuck in and sorting through it takes weeks of planning and mentally preparing myself. Secondly, I have such anxiety about letting anyone I don't know into any part of my life (including making phone calls to people I don't know), I find it impossible to arrange to get anything taken away. I don't drive and I would have to let a stranger and their germs into my house.

Today I came home from work to a smell of gas so had to call the emergency number, which was really difficult. They sent a lovely engineer who got here really quickly and confirmed it was a very small leak that at most would cause headaches and nausea if left unchecked. Gas is shut off and everything is perfectly safe but tomorrow I will have to phone the landlord to arrange repair. I'm due to go on holiday on Thursday. Landlord is nice but he tends to turn up with lots of people and I'm embarrassed about the state of the house. I have just spent an hour going round the kitchen with a packet of antibacterial wipes cleaning everything the gas engineer touched.

It's been a tough evening. I just feel a bit overwhelmed and really don't know how or where to start and would appreciate some practical advice.

Ana welcome :) Just join in, add to the thread, tell us what you are doing and share your high's, low's, blips and triumphs! We all do on here. Some of us are good at 'doing' and I am not! But I do try and I do have small high's and triumphs :)

Cag I only have a couple of reports, but I could not get rid of them. I was bullied and didn't fit in either, but I am a hoarder! I just can't get rid of things like that!

Hello and welcome KMS you are most welcome to join in hoarder or not :) Not sure if it would help, but how about disposable gloves to sort through anything? You wouldn't need to touch it at all with your hands and you could even wear a mask if you felt the need. As for furniture disposal; could you get it outside yourself and have it collected from the front of the house? I don't let anyone into my house, but for different reasons. You certainly aren't alone as I'm sure you know. I have OCD, but not in the same way as you do.

Please keep posting. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels honoured and privileged that you have chosen to confide in us and this thread and open up to us as I know it is very difficult for you going by your introduction, so thank you! :)

Thanks so much for your kind words solo and good luck to you and everyone else on this thread.
That's really excellent advice about having stuff collected from outside the house. I hadn't thought of that and will definitely look into it. I'm already a very heavy user of disposable gloves and dust masks and would strongly recommend them to anyone who is struggling. I might also have a look online for those disposable body suits. I think they would help a lot.
Sending positive thoughts to all....

Can I join? I have depression and insomnia, and find it hard to motivate myself to do anything - and housework is bottom of the list. I feel like such a failure for having a messy, dog-hair-covered house.

Hi and welcome KMS and STDG :)

I have some OCD tendencies as well, although I am at present only diagnosed with Aspergers (there is some overlap anyway).

Ugh insomnia sucks :( sorry you are suffering with it. It is SO hard to find the motivation isn't it, depression is an evil beast and being knackered just makes it worse.

I've done nothing since my shredding-fest, and I still have lots of that left to do. Might try a bit now. I've got some antibiotics for yet another chest infection so taking it a bit easier.

But yet another facepalm moment - need to pay online for a workshop for DD (trapeze!) but can I find my card reader, noooo...

Hi STDG welcome to you too :) You know what? I have Dd's hair in bunches on the carpets ~ probably mine too actually; I did vacuum a load up a few weeks ago, but it's there again ...doesn't help that my own hair is coming out with the meno either :( . I have ME and I also find I'm lacking motivation and energy, but triumphs no matter how small are still triumphs. Keep posting :)

Yep my hair clogs up the hoover too!

Didn't do anything today in the end, had a pupil round but that was it. Very achy the last few days.

How has everyone been this weekend?

I managed another pile of shredding yesterday - I'd sorted it all out last week but I'd just left the pile to fester. Still got lots of unsorted paperwork in a box though. Blah.

DH hung up every single hangable bit of our clothing, which is good as it'd been lying around for a bit. I've folded the pyjamas, underwear etc to put away later. I also got rid of two jigsaws which had missing pieces. I might go through some other old puzzles later.

Small progress for DD - she actually asked to get rid of all her Barbies. She is doll mad, but said she prefers her other types (Lottie etc). So they got dropped off at the charity shop. :) I'm hoping we can build on this slowly, maybe ditch a few teddies and books. It's so hard though, for all of us. Especially with books - DS is often read chapter books now and so I think we could get rid of at least some of the picture books. It's the end of an era (and I've been hellishly broody of late, which isn't helping). I want to set a good example by trying out some of our less-played board/card games, as I'm sure there are some that we can [gulp] get rid of. If I can do THAT I feel we can do anything!

How is the ME lately Solo? I hope menopause isn't making things worse for you - hormone changes really make themselves known don't they. :(

My weekend was very full on! Dance exams for Dd followed by an actual evening with 2 friends where we shared tapas at one of their very tidy, very small flats (no kids either! My Mum had her . Sunday was collecting Dd and Mum and going to celebrate my nieces 21st.

I've changed and washed and put on the line 2 loads of washing (bedding yesterday) yesterday and today. It's too hot for me!

My ME is loitering in the background and I will be working full time for 2 weeks - eeek!

How are you all?

Yep too hot for me too! I hate it. But then I hate the depths of winter too. Fussy bugger I am

Well, yesterday I sorted out a load of stuff for the DCs to look through and not much of it has made it to the sell/donate pile! Oh well at least it's something.

I'm meltinggg!!!!

Welcome new people :)

I am also suffering in the heat (hugs my air con unit) and am poorly too.

Managed to take out four bags from our room...yeah... but it barely left a dent :( Rest of house okish. Laundry behind but will catch up with this great drying weather.

Onwards and upwards...kids parties to sort out...arghhh.

Ah I know that 'drop in the ocean' feeling Babies :( but it DOES make a difference!

I am absolutely astounded today. The Caglets have agreed to get rid of some large boxes of toys. Marble run, wooden blocks etc. Even Happyland. Problem is, they genuinely do play with all of it - WHEN they can get to it! But the fact is, they generally can't! And with the promise of a cut of the profits (if I manage to sell on FB) they are happy - a bit sad too but they understand it's necessary. We've totally cleared the massive cupboard under the stairs, so that their bikes fit safely (i.e. unsquashed by other stuff) and therefore we can get them repaired. Just hope some things sell.

I'm sad though. They're growing up :( doesn't help I've been really broody of late . But getting rid of things today has been an achievement for all of us.

It also reminded me how much money and stress I've wasted. Getting rid of some things that we've had for years - things that I've bought, didn't look after properly, didn't get used. What an abominable waste. :(

Still, onwards and upwards eh? We can do this!

Lots of waste here too Cag :(

The guilt that goes with it is pretty paralysing isn't it? I think that's half the reason I hold onto stuff for so long, because we haven't used it yet and the idea of wasting it torments me. But I need to try an remember that it will end up being wasted regardless so I just need to get rid (and of course try to buy/amass less in the first place!).

Yesterday was pretty tiring physically so I've had an easier day today doing decluttering from the sofa/bed. I've weeded out some of the huge amount of toy cars (including some of the ones that were mine as a child) based on tattiness/broken bits etc. I got the DCs to go through most of their dressing up stuff and they agreed to getting rid of some of it (though not as much as I hoped!). Tumble dryer is on so the DCs can put all their clothes away. I've also been through a few puzzles to check they are complete. One in the recycling already, and the complete ones are in a big tub (with a few outgrown ones put aside for giving away).

I am amazed. I knew some pieces of a particular (nice/expensive) wooden jigsaw had gone walkabout somewhere (we'd started it ages ago, but it's really difficult and we'd just left it for ages) - I very nearly just chucked it but decided last night to try and put it together. One piece was missing but I thought it might be in the 'loose game pieces' box and it WAS! Hurrah. I know it's a silly thing but I'm really happy and relieved. It would've been horrible to throw it away without ever properly completing it. This kind of thing happens a lot (it did with another puzzle for example but that was just a cheapie one so not as bothered).

Anyway all the jigsaws now fit in the big tub with a lid, so that's good. We've put a few more bits away and I've just gathered more dressing up stuff to go through with the Caglets.

Well, I went on holiday as planned and felt really relaxed and positive for a whole week. Unfortunately I picked up a really bad cold just before I came home so that's spoiled things a little. All I've been able to manage for the last few days is to slowly get through some laundry. But I did manage to re-read the Mari Kondo book I bought last year and I'm determined to have another go at a proper clear out. I also came across a company online who could be tailor made for someone like me. There is a lovely testimonial on their website from someone who was living with many issues, including a phone phobia. They worked with her at a pace and in a way that she was completely comfortable with and managed, via text and email, to clear her house of many years' worth of clutter, despite her being in hospital after being sectioned. Currently mustering the courage to contact them so please wish me luck.

Wow that sounds ideal Kiss - hope they can help :) and a huge well done for planning to contact them!

Thanks cag. It's because of your regular updates that I'm beginning to realise one step at a time might actually make a difference. Haven't managed the dreaded phone call to sort the gas yet though so currently showering at work.

Sympathies, Kiss! We often just make do when something goes wrong with the house, getting it sorted is just so stressful if it involves getting people in.

One step at a time WILL get us there I'm sure. I am taking it very literally ATM - have to tidy up the living room for my class this afternoon. But not feeling great so I'm getting up, sorting a few bits, sitting down again!

Hello all :)

I've done week one of two weeks full time to cover my job sharer and I'm tired! No, exhausted is a better description...did it though!
Kiss I'm so glad you went on holiday but I'm sorry about the cold .

Confession time...Every year for about 5 years I've had a plumbing problem. In the warm weather the valve in the water tank in the loft turns the inlet valve into a tiny trickle of water so that I can literally run out of water in under a week and it takes a week to refill itself. In the winter, it overflows through the overflow pipe into the garden and has splashed my patio doors and they are completely white from limescale and you can't see in or out! Three years ago, my boiler stopped heating up the water and I had to call the British Gas engineers out. I could see the disgust on his face (even though I had tidied the hall, stairs and landing and shut all other doors except for where he had to be for the boiler and hot water tank) and he even threw the plastic bag rubbish bits down the side of the tank inside my airing cupboard . Anyway, it's happened again ~ no hot water and my electric shower is playing up, but as always, I won't call anyone out.

I've just dealt with (I hope) a wasps nest in my garden.

Cag well done as usual! You always get something done :)

Oh and I completely agree about the waste and holding onto it because it hasn't been used! I've been known to make Dd wear something that doesn't really fit her anymore simply because she hasn't worn it yet . It's madness!

Oh no Solo that sounds horrible :( the previous gasman sounds horrible and very unprofessional.

Well done getting through a full time week!

I really don't always get something done... the times when I do nothing I don't tend to post about it :o I often go weeks or months without doing anything to the clutter.

I haven't managed anything since the cupboard clearout. The ache/fatigue is catching up with me now which isn't ideal since we're off to London tomorrow. Dad's come to pick us up and he's taken DH to the bike shop to get the Caglets' bikes repaired (part of the damage was due to them not being stored properly, and this was why we focused on clearing the cupboard so it doesn't happen again) and then we have the massive bag for the charity shop. Haven't got any further with selling the toys though.