Fledglings chatter and try to FLY through July

[BlueEyeshadow]

Following June's chatty thread, welcome aboard another month of vaguely trying to follow FLY Lady's housekeeping system. There are still babysteps and missions for each day and the little and often system for decluttering and keeping chaos at bay.

It is still a long running thread and newbies will always be welcome. Usual disclaimer still applies "Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome"

But for another month we'll try to fly without daily links. The Big link you will need is the launch pad which will take you to all the daily reminders/missions/zones etc...

The first link for the babysteps is the particularly waffly introduction to the system, and through it you can get to all of the other links.

So it only remains for me to thank DEM for setting up the last thread , and stock up the naughty corner bar for when it all gets a bit much. Plenty of and to see us through.

Morning. I am jumping back in - hopefully consistently for at least the next 6 weeks as the holidays have finally arrived

I am taking the dc fruit picking this afternoon with a friend but before then I am planning a tidy up and clean of the house so it is surface clean at least.

Me too Swan, I find hosting any sort of party stressfull and anxiety-provoking.

Off camping today, really must get started with packing, might not be posting for a few days.

DEM / WhoKnows - I wonder about that poster too. I sent her a PM a while back to find out how she was, but she didn't reply . I hope she's ok.

What an emotional time you've had, WhoKnows. I'm glad you have the new school to look forward to for DS in September. Hope the camping trip goes well.

Hope today is a better day, healthwise, DEM.

ellie - good to see you again. Hope your trip to Germany goes well.

When's your birthday, Swan? Is it today? Happy Birthday if so .

Welcome back, Mercury .

fuzz - your surprise evening with friends sounds like just what you need. Am very impressed by the way you're managing your health, home ed and flying, not to mention earning money too.

Engels - family fun day much more important than flying . Sounds lovely.

Linzer - have a great holiday. Good luck with all the packing (am sure you know Flylady has advice on this too, somewhere on her website).

Am finding managing the boys, particularly DS1, hard-going at the moment, even with DH's help. Even when we have a good day, I wake up with a blank slate and everything to do all over again: ensure they eat plenty of high-calorie foods (both underweight, which is worrying me no end); get sunshine (DS1 vitamin D deficient); get exercise (DS1 really unfit thanks to being stuck in his room for about a year, before CAMHS agreed to therapy); get outside and go places (DS1 has to practise overcoming his anxieties); make sure DS1 washes, wears clean clothes, brushes his teeth; make sure DS1 does his homework (haven't tackled that yet, actually); make sure DS2 practises his handwriting and Maths in time for school... etc etc.

Actually, most of my worries are focused on DS1. I feel like the engine that drives him and if I stop, he stops.

Anyway, yesterday was a good day. I woke up to a clean kitchen because I'd done it all the night before. Managed to do a pile of ironing, which freed a bit of space in the bedroom and made me feel virtuous. Then we took the boys out to a local beach, which meant we all had exercise, sunshine, fresh air and family time. Bought them an unhealthy, but high-calorie, MacDonalds on the way home, which cheered them both up.

But today it all starts up again and I have the familiar flutter of anxiety in my chest.

Ds is sleeping in with me again. He is worrying about safety. Unfortunately he has good cause. Needless to say not much sleep has been had. Don't want to do anything but should and need to.

Have a lovely time whoknows

Thank you very much Toffee I don't really feel like I'm managing anything!

Popping on to share some news. I am not bouncing back from this bad phase yet, and told mum I was having a relapse - she has said that when she and dad come up on Tuesday they will help me to sort out some clutter.

Need to decide what we will be sorting - mum did suggest the dining table but the thing is every time we tidy it, it goes back to even worse clutter very quickly! I feel like that's because there's nowhere to put all the stuff on it. It's like we are just moving stuff around as nothing has a home! So I'm thinking it might be better to start with the cupboards in the living room. But I just look around and feel paralysed

Right I'm off for my lesson now and then home for tidying if I can possibly manage any. I kind of feel that since I'm ill anyway I may as well push myself a bit more to actually get something achieved that will help long term (whereas going out and rushing about will not help any of us at all - DCs knackered too).

Aaaaaargh. Sorry. Rant over!

fuzzpig That's great that your parents have suggested helping out with the clutter. I know that paralysed feeling all too well, but I think that once you actually get stuck into a particular area it does get easier - it's knowing where to start that's tricky.

Toffee Sorry to hear that you're finding things hard-going with DS1; I'm having similar issues with DD1 (although on a lesser scale, as she doesn't have any anxiety issues), but at least we don't have school work to worry about until September. I know it's second best to actually being outdoors, but could you give DS1 vitamin D drops just to be on the safe side if he doesn't get quite enough sunshine? All three of mine were slightly deficient when I last had them tested and so I give them drops in the winter.

WhoKnows Have a lovely holiday!

I've done all the packing I can do for now, but will have to wash and pack quite a few of DS's clothes when he gets back (DH has gone to pick him up, a 5 hour round trip; he would have been at scout camp until Saturday if we hadn't been going on holiday). I'd forgotten about Flylady's packing advice Toffee, but have a holiday to-do/packing list on my phone that still has 75 items on it.

Ah, just had a message from BA that we can check in for our flight to London... will go and do so now (that will be one more item ticked off - no, two, as it means I can also pack our boarding passes ).

Linzer - thanks, but I should have said that DS1 is already on Vitamin D supplements from the doctor. He was put on them months ago, but is still deficient . He's being tested for coeliac next week, just in case he's unable to absorb the vitamin because of a malabsorption problem.

Oh lord, 75 items to pack, Linzer . Just as well you have a phone list.

fuzz - I'm glad your parents are helping you out.

DEM - oh dear, sorry about the sleep issue. Makes everything harder .

DH is fed up with our half-hour-a-day strategy to tidy the bedroom and has decided today is the day to deal with the mess once and for all, so there are now boxes and stuff all over bed and floor. Let's hope we have time to deal with it somehow.

MIL will be here in a minute, which always makes me unreasonably cross. We will sit and listen to her, but she won't ask anything about any of us. This upsets DH and makes me cross on his behalf. She'll have lots to say today because there was a break-in at her sheltered housing complex last week. She couldn't stop talking about it when I rang her a couple of days ago. Having exhausted the subject of what actually happened, she then started to describe what might have happened had she interrupted the burglary when it was taking place. If the news appears in the Daily Mail, she'll be in seventh heaven .

Also waiting for a new blender to be delivered, so I can start making high-calorie, fruit/veg-rich smoothies for the DC.

Morning all.

fuzzpig that is great news about your parents coming to help. We all know that paralyzed feeling. Remember it is all about small steps. You will get there.

whoknows and linzer have fabulous holidays.

dem hope you are feeling better today and that you and ds get some rest.

I am about to head off to catch the train to the airport to spend a lovely few days in Germany with the new MrElliepac before he moved back here in August. Will be meeting the children, this makes me slightly nervous. But I shall take it in my stride like everything else.

X-post with toffee. Good luck with the MIL. Benefit of divorce is that don't have one any more.

Good luck with the possible future step children, ellie, and thanks for your good luck message too. Yes, I can see that that is a useful benefit to divorce (as is the free weekends) .

Yep...free weekends (as much as I love my dc's) are definitely up there..this means I can go gallivanting to germany.

Thanks folks :) my parents aren't exactly practical people so I'm a bit surprised they agreed :o I grew up in a lot of mess/dirt/clutter, lots of mice, slugs, weevils etc, yuck. But since they sold the house mum has totally turned that around, her new flat is lovely and tidy and clean! Probably because my dad doesn't live there :o (they are still together, long story)

Anyway, I think mum really does want to help as I know she worries about my health. She's also offered to get some nice storage boxes (you know the ones in the Works that fold flat with nice designs, 2 for a tenner or something) although I'm a bit wary of getting them and just filling them with more random crap! I'd need to decide what was actually going in them.

But the DCs' room is STILL TIDY. It's great having got it to a base level of tidiness as they knew exactly what needed to be removed or put away. I do need to figure out what else can be stored in there though to ease the pressure on the rest of the house - just want to add things very gradually so they KNOW what needs to go where. I am particularly wary of putting the dressing up box back in there

Sorry I'm rambling. Bit stir crazy - realised on way to piano just now that it was the first time I'd properly left the house since Sunday!

Urm, not to piss on your parade ellie but doesn't MrEllie have a mum? New potential mil to meet at some point

Parade pissed on . Though I am enjoying the temporary reprieve from mil-dom. Plus his mum lives the other end of the country, not 2 mins down the road.

I have manage to hit 3 shops in 3 different towns in 2hrs
Blown ds' mind with a maths problem

we are just off out for training but later I am teaching ds to use the sewing machine and hot glue gun. This could go very well or very badly

Oi oi, what's this maths problem then? I love maths :o

I am that you have a glue gun!

Speaking of maths, DS2's maths teacher hasn't turned up, so DS1 is teaching him instead. Rather like DEM's sewing machine/glue gun project, this could go very well or very badly.

DH is still sorting out our bedroom (he's even taken some stuff to the dump) and I still haven't had time to help him. I did warn him. However, I do have a 'ta da' list:

Washing up done
Kitchen tidied up
Made tea for MIL and listened to burglary story again
DH drove us into town to drop MIL back home
To opticians to mend my glasses
To Aldi to stock up on cheap fruit for new blender
Home to unpack shopping and tidy fridge
Made large picnic-style lunch so everyone could choose what they wanted
Washed up whilst supervising a science experiment by DS1
Emptied overflowing kitchen bin, which leaked smelly milk on the floor
Mopped kitchen floor
Took boys to playground for an hour's exercise and sunshine
Home in time for maths teacher

Ooh, Toffee - could I ask, very cheekily, what you pay for maths tuition? And if they are a qualified teacher or not?

It is something I am very vaguely considering offering for the future in the home ed community - very cheap of course as I'm not a qualified teacher, so more of a mentor than tuition perhaps. People are quite interested in some sort of group lesson. But no idea what people pay anyway.

No worries if you'd rather not say of course! :)

We pay £10 an hour because he's an A level student, so no, not a qualified teacher. He is very good when he's here, but a bit unreliable (didn't turn up today ). I used to have a maths tutor for DS1 and she was a qualified primary school teacher and charged £40 an hour. Nearly bankrupted us!

I think £10 is ridiculously cheap and would pay more, but £40 is too much for us.

DS2's lesson with DS1 didn't go very well. No surprises there.

Ah well at least he tried for his brother! That's rather unimpressive that the student didn't show, mind you I was similarly unreliable at that age I'd say. Thanks for telling me the prices - YIKES at £40 an hour! I get £10 for a half hour piano lesson, so equivalent of £20ph... hmm, will have a think. Although I'm not sure I'd have the guts to put myself out there really - piano is much more linear and it's easier to 'see how they're doing', plus I taught it for 5 years so it was really like riding a bicycle when I started again! I don't know, a few of us are thinking about making a fun maths group but I'm hoping it will be a collaborative effort with all of the parents coming up with games and sharing resources, rather than me doing all the planning/teaching. If the latter, I think I'd deserve payment :o but not really sure I could teach in a group - it would be difficult due to different ages/stages etc? Sorry for waffling...

Anyway I've sorted out tomorrow. In far too much pain to work, friend still having DCs for me bless her. Cancelled friends coming round in the afternoon. Bah.

Toffee I think if you go out for an hour and a half with the two boys and eat a calorific snack whilst out that will cover most of the things you worry about (apart from the handwriting) After that nothing is quite so important. I thought I would get so many things done whilst dd was away in France (particularily it would have been nice to tidy the house so that when she came back it was all sparkly ) but the treadmill of getting boys to do various things, and feeling quite cross with them for not helping with the numerous chores has made pottering less efficient and holistic. Ds1 is doing a bit of sitting in the front room singing along to Joseph and picking out notes on the piano which is the sort of holiday activity I approve of HIs room is utterly disgusting and ds2 has to be chivvied to do everything including wash and get dressed. Everything that is except make himself snacks, and bowls of cereal and pasta (he boils his own) which he is very addicted to.

We had another setback with the garden today. I am so exhausted by the experience of employing someone who turns up intermittently for short hours that I may offer myself as a gardener/garden designer just on the basis of the lessons I've learned. 60 percent great success to get someone else's input, not to speak of their brute force but today when I came home I felt v frustrated by various things that haven't gone the way I planned and yet it was no-one's fault really possibly a misunderstanding of the arrangements (gardener has obviously too much on atm). It certainly has not made this week very restful.

However, success in form of Speech therapy session for ds2 (usual weekly one) and then Judo, where he had a lovely time and a medal. And ds2 did lots of exercise and running. Ds1 and dh went to Antman.

Dh and I then slaved away moving plants around and deciding we didn't want 20 alchemilla plants that the gardener had decided would be perfect Orange crocosmia is going to look good though (we tell ourselves)

Whoknows very impressed by the camping. Dh was very excited when he found his bivvy [bivouac] bag from his twenties in the attic last week. He used to camp au naturel (no tent) in Wales when he first came to Britain in the late 80's. BUt we never go now, no car makes things difficult. I mean no car which ventures out of town Don't really fancy glamping as I think it is the presence of familiar furnishings which makes camping so appealing. Are you off to IOW or somewhere local?

Sewing and glue gun project went really well.

I would love to share the maths problem Fuzzpig but ds is taking it to school so it would utterly out me. I will see if it is possible to pm it, but you can't pm pictures and it is easier to explain with pictures. am open to suggestions on this one though.
I can tell you it came from this book though.

We also have this book, but the maths is more equation based and less accessible.

Swan - yes, eating high-calorie snacks whilst out is a good idea (and DS1 does now like visiting Caffe Nero as we've done it lots of times as part of his CBT practice), but he needs to be eating six times a day to get enough calories in, so that only ticks one of the boxes. We are aiming to have a BBQ on the beach one day, although there is always the possibility that DS1 won't be comfortable enough to eat there.

Have had a productive morning so far, as we took DS1 to the docs for a regular appointment, then dropped DS2 off at his friend's house for the rest of the day. Came home and helped DS1 programme his new online organiser, which he's very excited about. He needs daily reminders for washing, etc, but we'll build up to that.

Can't take him out as it's pouring, so at least I don't need to feel obliged to do that now.

DH did loads of tidying in the bedroom yesterday, so I'm going to go and tackle some more now. He came out with this unfortunate line to me yesterday, during lunch: "Eat lots so you'll have plenty of energy for the bedroom later." DS1 looked horrified and revolted and wasn't consoled by our explanation that DH meant tidying up .

Toffee :o :o :o

Thanks for the book recommendations DEM! Right up my street that is (that sentence makes me sound like Yoda...)

Speaking of puzzles and such, I'm now considering getting some non-verbal reasoning books for DS - he was looking over my shoulder when I was watching Child Genius (guilty pleasure TV! ) and he answered some of the visual questions before me :o he seems to have that sort of brain IYSWIM. I used to nick my mum's old reasoning books when I was little. I'm not sure if there's any particular benefit to being good at them, as I only remember actually using them when doing school entrance tests! But if he likes it and it raises his confidence then that'll be worth it, especially as I could encourage him to explain verbally why he's chosen a particular answer.

Anyway I have absolutely no hope of getting anything done today. Woke up in immense pain and although I eventually managed to get out of bed, it's not shifting at all. DCs have been taken to a workshop - last proper home ed activity of the term - and so I have a couple of hours child free in which to piss about online sleep.