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Clutter, emotions, and folding our socks - Kondo thread 6. All welcome!

999 replies

SteptoeAndDaughter · 21/01/2015 11:59

The Book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo, Cathy Hirano

Summary of the process link from mipmop

Article of top tips by Marie Kondo

Thread 5
Thread 4
Thread 3
Thread 2
Thread 1

And BeCool's copy of Coughles list of ORDER from Thread 2 for everyone:

"ORDER TO DECLUTTER/LOCATE THE JOY*

Clothes folding by rummy
Books
Papers
CDs
DVDs
Skincare products
Make-up
Accessories
Valuables (passports, credit cards, etc.)
Electrical equipment and appliances (digital cameras, electric cords, anything that seems vaguely ‘electric’)
Household equipment (stationery and writing materials, sewing kits, etc.)
Household supplies (expendables like medicine, detergents, tissues, etc.)
Kitchen goods/ food supplies
Other (If you have many items related to a particular interest or hobby, such as ski equipment, then treat these as a single subcategory.)

KonMari stresses that sentimental items should be left till the end. So for example, when you are doing papers, don't include photos of your children, love letters, old school reports etc, leave anything with a sentimental connection for later."

*As discussed in previous threads, your order for decluttering and finding the joy/spark/recognizing may be different to recommendations.

OP posts:
bringmejoy2015 · 28/01/2015 19:35

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bringmejoy2015 · 28/01/2015 19:36

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bringmejoy2015 · 28/01/2015 19:40

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ItIsntJustAPhase · 28/01/2015 19:47

'Doing her a service' is correct.

'Servicing her' REALLY wouldn't be. Grin

HearMyRoar · 28/01/2015 19:55

Well done bring meand jks on your decision making.

I have just read the bit of the book where she talks about how the sorting and tidying gives you the confidence to trust your feelings and instincts so you are able to make better choices. Smile

bringmejoy2015 · 28/01/2015 20:01

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misscph1973 · 28/01/2015 20:03

Oh, more job kondoing, well done, JKS!

There is so much happening for everybody on this thread, it's so inspiring (and hard to keep up with).

My kids got a quite large parcel from my mum today with toys, quite mixed, hand me down toys and new ones, nothing big. Without thinking to much about it, I said to them "And then you can take the toys you really like and find a place for them in your rooms. You can have as many of them as you like, as long as you really like them". And I guess that's all I should say. I think in the past I might have been a bit more controlling, but I am learning from this kondoing to let go and let my kids choose what they like.

anzu66 · 28/01/2015 20:04

Just gone out and bought her second book as a belated birthday present to myself.

(For anyone new to the thread, I'm in Germany and the book is in German. An English translation is not out yet.)

Just started it. The intro says it is definitely meant to be a follow-up to the first book. It covers various problems that people have clearly been facing along the way, as well as maintaining a decluttered home and strategies on cherishing items that are loved but not necessarily useful.

Various issues she mentioned are ones that that have come up here: like how to figure if something sparks joy, how to deal with what it is needed but not joyful. What to do if you start cluttering again despite having decluttered already. It also has more details on folding (with pictures) and storage.

From the little I've read so far, I'll summarise issues she've mentioned that have been asked earlier on here, sometimes several times.

How to figure if something sparks joy: you should have all of one category of item in front of you, ready to go through. Try picking out your three favourite items from the pile. Now rank the three in order of most to least favourite - (she warns this may take a while if you have never done this before). The feeling you get with those items should help kick-start a basic feel for how much joy, or not, you get from other items.

How to deal with what it is needed but not joyful: if it does its job and makes your life easier, and not having it would make your life harder, then it should probably stay. In its way, it is bringing joy. As a side-note to this, she mentions that most people who put their work clothes into this category usually come round to the view that it is actually the work they do which they dislike.

If clutter starts again, she's pretty adamant that you must not have followed her instructions fully in the first place. She really stresses that you should do the sorting in the order she gives, should NOT clean or start putting away items until the sorting into joyful and non joyful has been done, and should NOT do by room but by category.

I'll write more as I keep reading but - apologies in advance - it will be in dribs and drabs as I have work deadlines, a week of school holidays is coming up and, on top of all that, our Internet connection at the moment is also tending to come and go despite a technician having come out fairly recently.

Pointlessfan · 28/01/2015 20:14

Wow, another busy day! Congratulations, JKS!
My mum came round today having just finished the book and I can't believe the change in her. She kept talking about the book and what she has done so far. This is someone who has been completely overwhelmed by clutter for decades and actually gets quite stressed about it. I'm so pleased I leant her the book and also that I have discovered it earlier in my life.

Zippidydoodah · 28/01/2015 20:27

Couldn't wait to come home from work, put kids to bed and catch up on this thread! Amazing stories. Unfortunately I can do nothing for the next few days Sad but, but, but... MY BOOK ARTIVED!! My reward for finishing my work tonight will be reading the book in bed!

Zippidydoodah · 28/01/2015 20:29

Re: the shopping, I get a thrill fr buying stuff and find when I being it home, total anticlimax! So because I'm trying to get rid of stuff, I'll refrain from getting more stuff! Will get my kicks elsewhere, ha!

HearMyRoar · 28/01/2015 20:37

Thanks for that summary anzu.

I like her base lining technique fit finding your joy level.

I was thinking one way to do it would be to pick out something you know you love (very favourite dress) and something you really don't like (awful top mil gave you that didn't fit properly). That way you would get a feel for the extreme ends of the joy/no joy spectrum to give you a measure for rating other items.

Clearly I have been thinking about this far too much Blush

HazyShadeOfWinter · 28/01/2015 20:53

Thanks anzu, interesting on the joy stuff.I did something like what roar suggests with my tops - not having the book I didn't know if she gave specific joy instructions. But even if she did it would defeat the point I think - the whole thing is that you learn to be appreciative and aware of your own possesions.

Congrats JKS on the job; Bringme on the location decision and Roar for the course - lots of exciting things happening as a result of Kondoing - I just hope I have more time to sleep and maybe read a book after this.

misscph1973 · 28/01/2015 20:56

anzu, please do summarise book 2 as you read it, that would be brilliant! We are so lucky to have so many people in different countries, and how lucky for all of us that you now have book and van tell us about it.

Pointless, so pleased to hear about your mum and the book. I am seriously thinking of buying it for my hoarder mum, even though I said I wouldn't as she never finishes a book. Only today I spoke to her on the phone, and she has sent me a book that she started reading, but then she thought it was so good that she posted it to me! It's very nice of her, but I really don't want to be her excuse to not read a book. I didn't say anything, other than thank you, but it really is problematic. It is not the only area where she expects me to do what she can't. In fact it's quite a theme in our relationship, one that I swear I will not repeat with my DD. In a way, I am am clearing out because she can't.

OMG - I guess this realisation is another by-product of kondoing?

APlaceOnTheCouch · 28/01/2015 21:20

I'm loving the job Kondoing stories. We've had a pretty stressful time here so no new Kondoing. The odd thing is that I've found my decision making becoming more muddied and I think it's because I'm not Kondoing. I was much better and focused when I was having lots of joy/not joy decisions everyday.

Regarding internet shopping, I've bought two new items since starting Kondoing because once I'd Kondoed my clothes I knew where I had gaps and also realised that generally tunics and dresses bring me most joy. There was a dress I had been coveting for months. It was in the sale so I bought it. It's such a pretty colour, it brings me joy just having it in my wardrobe but I know I'll also wear it a lot.

The job Kondoing stories are so impressive. I'm so far away from being joyful at work that I can't even find the breadcrumbs to get on the right path to joyfulness which is quite a sobering thought as my career used to bring me so much joy. I am hoping I will be inspired by all the positivity on here.

Zippidydoodah · 28/01/2015 21:22

I am also blown away by the job kondoing that's going on here; soon we will all have lives filled with nothing that doesn't bring joy! Grin

(My brain is too sleep deprived to be philosophical.....)

Zippidydoodah · 28/01/2015 21:23

Cross post APlace; hope you're ok Flowers

bringmejoy2015 · 28/01/2015 21:29

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LinzerTorte · 28/01/2015 21:29

anzu I've been wondering about buying the second book, but it had very mixed reviews on Amazon (I posted about them earlier on in the thread) so I'm really not sure atm. I'd be interested to hear what you think - and please let me know if she really does suggest reusing an old evening gown as a garment for cleaning in!

It sounds like lots of people have been busy kondoing their lives; I've also been quite surprised at how it's had an impact on other things in my life, not just household clutter. Congratulations on your decisions JKS, Hear and bring and well done on finishing Time!

I'm still drowning in cosmetics; I think I've more or less finished skincare (I haven't got rid of as much as I'd have liked, but it's all far better organised and I have each category in its own ziplock bag rather than in two or three different locations). Have been procrastinating about make-up, although I'm sure it can't be any worse than skincare, and doing a few not-sure-whether-they're-skincare-or-make-up categories, e.g. contact lens paraphernalia/glasses, toothbrushes (do the DC really need three each? And how many travel toothbrushes do we actually need?), make-up bags and hair products.

GatoradeMeBitch · 28/01/2015 21:34

Hi everyone! I participated in the last two threads but got bogged down in my book collection. I am in the final throes now! I know you're supposed to do it all together but I started off paperwork by Kondo'ing the filing cabinet. Yesterday, for the first time in years I was able to find the piece of paper I needed within seconds!

Zippidydoodah · 28/01/2015 21:42

Gatorade (love your user name!! Grin) that's fab about the bit of paper. When I first became a homeowner I was like that and could always lay a finger on whatever I wanted paperwork wise. Now, my study is a dumping ground for komono of all descriptions, including an actual mountain of paper....argh! Well done you!

SnowKitty14 · 28/01/2015 22:03

This thread has moved quickly, I feel I am quite behind in my reading of it!

anzu - thank you for starting to tell us about book 2! I look forward to the next instalment!

Congrats to those of you who have made some major decisions in the last couple of days!

I decided to skip books for now and go on to paperwork. I spent yesterday doing that in the room my DD calls the library! Today, I decided to get side-tracked by books whilst I was feeling up to it! Started with reference books and am very pleased with myself. I am finally ready to discard books from my university days! (I graduated in 1985!) I have looked online and can't find any suitable place to donate them locally so will bring them home in the summer and take them to my old uni in. London! (We always take a couple of empty suitcases back with us so we can stock up!)

In paperwork, I have also got rid of piles of notes and essays from uni as well as other course materials, letters etc from years gone by. It was definitely not as hard as expected although I feel completely drained now.

I have no idea why I didn't do it before but maybe now is the right time.

inadaydream · 28/01/2015 22:13

So so busy on here it's amazing!

Sorry I forget who but it is amazing to read there is someone on here that has gone through the whole kondo process and is a living breathing example of it being completed - I am sooooo in awe!!

My job kondo is going sooooo slowly - families dropping a day here or there as vacancies for alternative childcare become available (high demand in my area for CMs and after school places do it's painfully slow like teeth being pulled!!). Think I am going to bite the bullet though and just say now end of March as its the end of my tax year for my accounts so it's not worth the odd few quid here and there until the summer!

I started my nutrition course today - online, it was on offer back in September and I get until September to complete it. It's something I am interested in though not sure I want a career in! Have been looking into counselling courses as this is something I would love love love to do though I am not sure I am quite confident enough YET to put myself out there!! Life before CM was HR/payroll/finance based - hubby just mentioned I should put a profile out on linked in so prospective employers can contact me! Er not sure going down that route will bring me joy!! But that excuse didn't wash with him!!

I too am looking at shopping differently. I am a panic buyer (I am learning) - childhood with little disposable income means I am overcompensating with myself now and my own children. I also lost my lovely Dad quite young and so this is where my 'panic' problem began. It would fill me with joy to work in this area - bereavement counselling and helping those hoarding to deal with the loss. I spoke to my own counsellor today who said I would be amazing at it which has boosted my confidence. Just wish I had the guts to come out with it to hubby, it's going to cost some serious money to get the qualifications and I have little (almost no)?income right now and whilst DH earns a decent whack I have issues taking 'his' money (I have just possibly outed myself now as my yours/mine money issues are quite bizarre but again think this is a throwback from my childhood).

Might have to get that run of the mill crappy no joy job to finance what will eventually bring me a great sense of pride and joy! Short term sacrifice - long term gain!

Sorry for the deep and meaningful! Still kondoing the mountains of paperwork here so it's nice to dream!! I can't wait til the business is officially 'closed' then I can set fire to kondo all the crappy paperwork the parents hate to see and file away nicely the stuff I am required to keep by law.

Starface · 28/01/2015 22:16

Hello everyone. Things are going, but slowly here. Work and life derailing me...

I loved those dramas. She was like Mary Poppins, wasn't she?

bringmejoy2015 · 28/01/2015 22:32

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