Clutter, emotions, and folding our socks - Kondo thread 6. All welcome!

[SteptoeAndDaughter]

The Book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo, Cathy Hirano

Summary of the process link from mipmop

Article of top tips by Marie Kondo

Thread 5
Thread 4
Thread 3
Thread 2
Thread 1

And BeCool's copy of Coughles list of ORDER from Thread 2 for everyone:

"ORDER TO DECLUTTER/LOCATE THE JOY*

Clothes folding by rummy
Books
Papers
CDs
DVDs
Skincare products
Make-up
Accessories
Valuables (passports, credit cards, etc.)
Electrical equipment and appliances (digital cameras, electric cords, anything that seems vaguely ‘electric’)
Household equipment (stationery and writing materials, sewing kits, etc.)
Household supplies (expendables like medicine, detergents, tissues, etc.)
Kitchen goods/ food supplies
Other (If you have many items related to a particular interest or hobby, such as ski equipment, then treat these as a single subcategory.)

KonMari stresses that sentimental items should be left till the end. So for example, when you are doing papers, don't include photos of your children, love letters, old school reports etc, leave anything with a sentimental connection for later."

*As discussed in previous threads, your order for decluttering and finding the joy/spark/recognizing may be different to recommendations.

Aw thanks bring I am very self aware and self reflective at the moment! MK is definitely to thank or blame - not quite sure which! I will eventually get round to having a discussion with DH. I think I am struggling as he is not very in touch with emotions. If he can't fix it with a hammer and nail he is lost so I think he may struggle with my new career choice.

I think I just need a bit of that brain space you mentioned to figure it all out which will hopefully come when the business is gone!

Like Zippidy I'm too sleep deprived for being philosophical so I will just say well done everyone on both the physical and psychological progress!

Linzer for some reason I found make up a stumbling block too, and I only had one small drawer. I got over it by breaking it down into smaller sub categories, after that it was easy to see that actually, there's only one eyeliner that gives me joy and that I actually use, the rest were all too hard/not long lasting/odd colours so into the bin they went.

Having said that, I need to have another go at nails and lips, I got rid of all the obviously old stuff, or things that had always been a bad purchase, but there is still stuff there that I think I'm being sentimental about for some reason .

Inaday what nutrition course are you doing?

No progress here today what so ever. However I have spent a lot of time in awe of how easy it is to stay tidy these days. I've also written a rota for the kids chores and we are all much better at seeing mess that needs to be tidied away because any mess sticks out like a sore thumb. We are all trying to tidy up as we go too

Why don't you put the fridge magnets on the fridge?
I collect them from places we go ( I have got rid of naff other ones though)

Welcome to new starters, welcome back to returners!

I love the idea of Mary Poppins kondoing. Marching people round the house, singing A Spoonful of Sugar while all their excess cleaning supplies fly into a skip.

As usual, not a lot going on here during the working week, but I couldn't resist the allure of bin day to dump an ancient stereo and a bag of... I don't know what. Seriously, I didn't even look in the bag! It's been cluttering up the corner of the box room for about 4years, and I've managed without whatever might be in there so far, so it's all gone, whatever it might have been!

Wow hermione I don't think I could do that!! Well done though.

And that reminds me it's rubbish day tomorrow so can try to fill some bags tonight. Clothes recycling especially.

Have discovered that I'm not quite finished with skincare products yet; I've come across a basket of miniature toiletries that we keep for guests, but a) we don't have all that many guests, and b) they always bring their own toiletries. And then it's back to make-up... yes, categories is definitely the way to go, Vert. The problem is that, even within each category, I still have so much of everything. I've got 11 eyeliners in the eyeliner ziploc bag, for example (as well as the three I have on the go); six were given to me by DH for Christmas so I really can't get rid of those (plus he has also given me strict instructions not to throw away any make-up ). Most of the remaining ones were in my Glossyboxes, so I'll have to have a look at them all and work out which ones are least likely to bring me joy (hopefully all of them!).

I've also noticed that I'm starting to apply the "does it bring me joy?" principle to work; I turned down a job yesterday that I knew wouldn't (combination of subject matter and lack of time due to the DC being off school next week), and just felt a huge sense of relief rather than regret at missing out on the money. Well, there's a little bit of regret but not too much! Plus I've often found that when I do turn work down that I wasn't sure about, I'm then offered something much more enjoyable - or at least manageable.

Am feeling quite tempted to buy the second book, but it would break my rule of not buying any more books until I've got through my to-read pile unless they're very bargainous (which basically means I only ever buy books when I'm back in the UK). It would be good to read something in German again (I used to read loads in German, but have got quite lazy about it since living here) and I know it would bring me lots of joy. But I'm holding out for the moment...

Linzertorte, similar here with jobs, I am having a very quiet week workwise, and then it's easy for me to accept jobs that are badly paid or just something I would hate to do. I have been strong, though, and it has paid off - today I am working on a good job for a regular client ;) In the long run it's just not worth it, but i's easy to think short term when you freelance as you never really know where the next job is coming from.

I have DS home again today, he's still a bit under the weather. We went through his sock drawer, but he only got rid of 3 pairs and has more than 20 pairs left. However, if they bring him joy...

In book 2, on: Does she really say use an old evening gown for cleaning in?

Not so far, in exactly those terms at least (up to page 65).
But she does give the story of someone who used to do ballroom dancing, had stopped, and was going to get rid of her favourite outfit from ballroom dancing times as, even though it brought joy, there was no conceivable situation it would be worn.
She was stressing that, if something TRULY brings joy, don't get rid of it just because it seems useless. With clothing, maybe keep such items for wear only within the home and (her words) if it is something quite unusual, such as a French maid outfit (the mind boggles a little here), perhaps warn your family first!

(Not sure I'd wear a French maid outfit even if only within the home. Surely it's a guarantee that the DHL guy or the postman would ring the doorbell!)

So far the most stress has been on: first you must identify the goal for how you want your home to be. If you are just decluttering without having identified what you are aiming toward, there's a bigger chance of not carrying all the way through with it, or that it will revert to clutter later.

And also: if you have chosen to discard something, get rid of it as soon as possible. Don't consign it to limbo, as it's not fair to you or to the object.

violetta it's one through a company called 'diet specialist' purchased through 'wowcher' last year. Not sure the qualification will vouch for much but it's something that interests me (it also touches on overeating which is something I sturggle with!).

hermione wow to the bag dump! That's sooooo brave!!

Doing some ebaying today to try and raise some spending money until I figure out what I am doing job wise.

Good luck with the eBaying, daydream.

anzu My mind is also boggling at recycling a French maid's outfit for everyday use! I think the ballroom dancing story is probably what the Amazon reviewer was referring to. So, based on what you've read so far, would you say the book is worth buying? (Am secretly hoping you'll say yes. )

misscph It is really hard to turn down work when you have nothing else in the pipeline, isn't it? You just have to stay optimistic... and indeed a much more "joy-bringing" job has just arrived, which I'm now working on - sadly it's only about a tenth of the length of the one that I turned down but I'm hopeful that it won't be the only job I'm offered over the next week or so (plus, like I said, I can't really work very much next week anyway).

inaday by coincidence the course I just applied for is a level 2 counselling skills course. I had put it off for over a year for similar concerns to you but realised that it was silky not to do something that will bring me joy.

I can just about afford this course so I am just going with the level 2 for now and not committing myself to anything more. If I like it I'll cross the bridge of how to fund further study when I get that far.

I'll also have to do a job a dislike for a while to pay the bills, but it's better then doing it for ever if there I'd a chance this might work out!

Also, when I told dh I wanted to do the course (I haven't owned up to thinking about a full career change) I thought he would think it was a bit weird and woo. However, he really surprised me by being genuinely interested and saying he thought it sounded like something I would really enjoy.

So, maybe your dh might surprise you to :)

I bought the 'Stuffocation' book, but the style of writing is so irritating that I feel I want to Kondo it already, one chapter in!

And as a new book I'm surprised he doesn't reference Marie Kondo at all. He has to have been aware of her success...

May I join you? I was on the minimalist threads many moons ago but have NC'd since then. I read the book last summer and have since Kondo'd clothes and most of my paperwork (am aiming to do books next). I'm a SAHM with two DCs so trying to find the time to kondo undisturbed isn't easy, but this is the first time that I've really properly been getting rid of stuff as opposed to just buying nice storage boxes to put things in.

This method has the potential to be life changing for us as a family, which thrills and scares me at the same time. Hope that makes sense?

Am hoping to carry on with paperwork tomorrow when I have a couple of child-free hours. Is it a bit sad to admit that I'm really looking forward to it? Or does that just mean I've already already fallen under the spell of our great leader?

Would I say that book 2 is worth buying?

Hmm, hard to say yet (perhaps the fact that I cannot give a wholehearted and unqualified yes means something, though). I'll keep reading and say later.
But it costs just under ten Euros. Maybe, if you are hoping for an answer of yes, then just buy it, read though, and if you don't like it, donate it to the local library?

On a bit of a tangent. anyone else read the blog Zenhabits? I really like what he says, and how he says it, and it ties up quite closely with what is going on here.

Now I must stop procrastinating and get to work.

Sorry, I haven't kept up with the thread, but here's a few thoughts.

Since sorting all my clothes, I am much happier about them, even though there are fewer. I've worn things in different combinations - and am slowly crawling out of a rut (baby-steps). Plus I am much less stressed in the mornings as it's so much easier to find something to wear. For example I can always find a pair of socks, which is something of a new experience!

I've been through all my paperwork, and have faced up to the pensions stuff which I have been ignoring for years. I finally know what I have and where (from various different jobs), and was relieved to discover that I haven't completely lost track of any bits of money. There was one pension pot registered to my maiden name (changed >10 years ago) and to an address from about 10 years ago too, BUT I've had it updated, and got an up to date statement, so it's now all in hand.

And then small things, like knowing where all the girls hairbands are - makes the morning much less stressful, and a happier me!

BUT there's still so much to do. All of the hobby/craft stuff, plus home supplies, and sentimental bits and pieces. I'm starting on the hobby/craft/general stuff tonight.

One thing that's really stuck in my head is a slightly morbid but motivating thought. A couple of years ago a friend of mine died. He was single, and it fell to friends of his (and mine) to sort through his stuff. The idea of that, and how difficult it must have been (and how awful it would be for someone having to deal with all my crap), has been in the back of my mind ever since.

I'm not overly focused on the dying bit, by the way. It's more just the undealt with stuff and unfaced issues which it really brought home to me.

Plus if I face up to all these things and deal with them now, I will be much happier in my home, and inviting other people in too (figuratively and literally).

Nowistherighttime - I look forward to it too, which is really deeply unusual for me!! I think it means we're ready :-)

hear wow what a coincidence! I am still looking into courses! Was advised by my counsellor to look into some training with the Samaritans (you receive the training in leiu of volunteering) it sounds quite good and am just plucking up the courage to email for more info.

My local college has an introduction to counselling course which is a 12 week course starting in April. Not sure where right now I can magic up £400 so may have to sit down with hubby and have that chat after all! And yes you maybe right he may surprise me! Being a CM has been hard and draining on my emotions and marriage - he just wants his wife back again and a happy mother to his kids. Surely that's worth £400

Apologies if this has been linked to upstream (the thread moves fast) but here is another Kondo fan.

Hi Everyone. Just to let you know that Marie Kondo will be doing a Reddit AMA on January 30th at 1pm Eastern Standard Time (so 6pm for us in UK/Ireland).

Brief reply, before I try to catch up with the next 2 pages on the thread!

Roar Good luck with your course application! I'm sure your change of wording will appear more appropriate - but we here know exactly what you mean! If MK is right, the money will turn up!

JKS Congratulations on kondoing your job! If it no longer 'sparks (enough) joy', we know the answer!

mabel, well done on the pensions! That's the kind of thing you only have to do one and will make a world of difference to you, both financially and for peace of mind.

anzu Thank you for the intro to MK's second book! You may have smashed my brickwall with clothes. I shall try MK's tip.

Everyone Any advice welcome!

in a day I used to volunteer with the Samaritans while at uni (over 8 years ago now). The training is really amazing and something I have used time and again in work and life. It really teaches you how to deal with anything people might say to you from the completly crazy to the absolutely heartbreaking. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone. The only thing that stops me doing it again is that you have to be able to do a certain number of night shifts and I would find that really hard with a toddler.

Mabel you have just reminded me about all my random pension bits floating around.

I am putting off paperwork until I can get a shredder. I've just done a lovely job on the fridge though, complete with carrots on end in the door compartment :o