Bitchy takes on the January Fledgling Thread. Buckle in and enjoy the ride...

[BitchyTakesOnManagement]

Ok. Welcome to the January Fledglings thread. Before we get started we have Some important notices

1. The fledglings are a long running thread, We are might seem clicky but that is what happens when some of us have been on the same thread for up to 5 years
2. We are rather partial to new blood Pull up a seat in the naughty corner
3. Don't assume you can march in and impose your way. We follow the fly lady way and we adapt it to suit our lives and needs. You are welcome to come join us for support and chat, don't assume you know best.
4. There is more to us than cleaning. If you want to be obsessive about cleaning you will find us and and our interpretation of fly lady frustrating. You might be happier else where.

Right, as harsh as it might seem, it is important to get that out of the way as we expect this January thread to be busier with newbies and there has been problems in the past.

So the fly lady system there are rules and we have adaptations.

1. NO perfectionism!!!
2. Something is better than nothing and sometimes good enough really is good enough.

3.This is not about the housework, it is about having more time to do fun stuff. Don't ever feel guilty about doing stuff with the kids over doing the housework. The kids are more important.

And the practical adaptations. We have discussed the Marie Kondo book and the approaches within on previous threads. We are all agree two things: the author does not have kids and that the principles are very good for decluttering and that they can be used to in conjunction with the fly lady system (Marie Kondo to get in control, and fly lady to stay in control). As for the fly lady system there are some of the babysteps and things that are advised that are either "huh, why?" or just don't fit in with the household. We advise a pinch of salt and discretion with a dash of reality thrown in. E.g. if you are a no shoes household then clearly the wearing shoes in the house part of babystep 2 is going to make you go This is where adaptations come in and if past threads are to be gone on this will be discussed and there are various takes on it as and when they arise.

Also for the over enthusiastic newbies to the fly lady site and system everything you need will be posted here in the form of links. There are 3 levels:
Newbie: babysteps - get into these habbit
student: Missions and babysteps once the habits are habit the missions are a piece of cake.
Expert: deep cleaning, missions and babysteps - forget this if you have clutter, seriously.
Oh and for the love of all sanity do not subscribe to the email alerts. Seriously. Just don't.

Jump on board, buckle in and lets kick the butt of January.
Bitchy special brew on the naughty corner bar, natch
do we warn the newbies about the special brew or let them find out for themselves?

Ouch blue hope your head is ok.

Also ta da
Tesco shop
complete letter for info and print
type up pattern and print
create template list for passwords to be entered as trying to change them at least every 6 months
Sort out birthday tea menu
Print off extra party invite I forgot
Send a whole heap of important txts/emails
Sort out telephone conference for tomo evening

I was going to sit down with another pile of paperwork to sort but I have just realised I am heading very quickly into burnout territory so am going to tackle it tomo and do some craft project for a few hours instead.

what have I done today?

Not much as usual - mostly indoor home edding and ds got off to a bad start today because our routine was slightly out of kilter with a lie-in for dd's inset day and dh and I were rather late having breakfast etc and then I actually went back to bed because doing the recycling at 8am exhausted me

However did
Moby Dick
Sinbad
Maths later on (numerators and denominators) and trying to really understand what a fraction was (which I'm not sure if we do yet

Ds1 in excellent mood and so is dd

but supper was as usual rather badly behaved with people waving forks at each other or sitting half diagonal to the table or insulting each other. Ds2 got sent out in the end for making rude imitation noise. I need Meal Pods really I do, nice little pods for each child to sit in with their food and relax in p & q...

Dh did cooking

Tried to have two naps today but both failed as I got woken up just as I was dropping off so as a result feel v tired and useless..

Did Recyling though to a very high standard and cleaned out dustbins
put another laundry load or two on
chatted a lot to different children
chatted to dh a bit (but he was annoying me again because he was rude about my Maths lesson [grrr] Back from Berlin/Stuttgart and a bit tense from travelling and parents.

I have done bugger all today (except routines and paid work), but am watching DH iron with a glass of wine, does that count?

Excellant delegation work there PMPY

Actually going to bed at a properly decent time for once.

Saymwa - hope all went well today.

Bless - maybe it's a good thing that your DH is talking with you about 'deep and heavy' stuff, even if uncomfortable? I hope it was productive or at least paved the way for more conversations. Sympathies on your DD wanting to be home educated. If she's been home educated before, she has something to compare school with. My younger DS doesn't have ASD, unlike his brother, but he is quite introverted. It is impossible to get him to join any groups and I do worry about that. On the other hand, being of an introspective bent myself, I sympathise with him. I suppose, if you did home ed your DD again, you could make a deal with her that she has to attend, say, two groups a week. I wish I'd done that with DS2. I'm threatening to take him to a home-ed meet up this week, which he's already grumbling about.

Blue - hope your head is ok now - that sounded nasty. I wish you could have joined our French lesson, as you could teach DS2 far more than I could (O level French a very long time ago). We enjoyed listening to some conversational French on YouTube whilst munching on croissants though.

Whispers - yes, I agree that the school routine is hard. I am making the most of not having to get anyone up for school first thing, knowing this will change in the next few months when DS1 starts school again. I get what you mean about having a very sociable child.

Interesting, though, that two of you have come up with completely opposite reasons why home ed might not work for you: Bless - you're worried your DD is too introverted; and, Whispers - you're worried your DD is too extroverted! I suppose the important thing about home ed - and I'm sure Swan will back me up on this - is that it is completely flexible and can be tailored to suit each child. So an introverted child might love spending a lot of time studying his/her own projects and not want to mix much, whereas an extroverted child might need to join lots of groups and sociable meet ups.

(Sorry, seem to have forgotten this is a Flying thread ).

Swan - I love your updates about your family. We, too, could do with pods for our children. However, I have to admit that, tonight, they voluntarily sat down together at the dining-room table to eat dinner together and held a relatively normal conversation. (On second thoughts, the conversation was far from normal, but they seemed happy enough).

PMPY - sounds as if you have this Flying business sorted .

last ta da of the day

Mental Maths (painful, but necessary)
Walk to chemist to buy stuff for sore toe (am falling apart since I hit 50)
Cooked dinner for DC
DC ate dinner together

Decided not to go to literary event tonight (too knackered)
Bedtime for DS2
DH cooked our dinner
Tidied up home ed paperwork
Early to bed

Going to aquarium with DS2 tomorrow morning, then taking DS1 for another visit to his new school in the afternoon.

Evening. Just popping in, fresh from Wolf Hall (as it were). Am enjoying it hugely.

Am very embarrassed about my lack of Flying, save for (very) minimal routines. Although slowly getting to bottom of laundry pile.

Hideous weather today! Went to volunteer slot this morning (back to Weds). Bit disappointed to get back home and find ironing lady was a no show, having left everything ready for her. Oh well.

Dh should be travelling but isn't, as he is not properly over his virus and is still looking a bit white and ill. He won't stop work despite all attempts to persuade him though.

Then usual afternoon routine with dd (no school) ie hwk supervision. We were also doing common demoninators Swan!

We also had a very interesting half hour trying to choose a Confirmation saint (name). DD quite fancies St Flora, who we gather was rather skilled at levitating. I told her it should be Saint Clare who apparently is the patron saint of television!

We also talked about Edith Stein (given yesterday's 7Oth anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau).

More 'screen' trouble this evening when dd ran off to bed suspiciously quickly, then ruined it by coming down to get "water" etc. From that I deduced she had hidden her Ipod Touch somewhere upstairs (she is not allowed any screens/tablets/phones/computers in her bedroom). I questioned her about it. She lied (blatantly) . Then confessed. [Just call me Sherlock ) Think I am going to have to confiscate the wretched thing for the entire day tomorrow. [sigh]

Congrats on your productive day Bitchy

Hope your head is ok Blue¨take it steady!

Hope all went OK at hospital today Saymwa

Hope your dd is ok at school Pushme little girls can be truly horrible to one another sometimes!

Toffee your blog (and activities described therein) is/are as impressive as ever and picking up lots of good tips wrt 'soutien scolaire' sites! Hope ds1's tum has settled.

Top marks for reorganisation of your dd's room Whispers!

Bless yes it's odd how often UK-thinking is totally opposite to that of EU neighbours!

Thanks Dogsbum we usually get the hwk done in the end, it's just a bit painful getting going ifyswim

Rather cheered to hear of your "hard-drinking" Austrian neighbours Linzer

Forgive boring question Greymalkin but did Vanish solution work on your ironing board cover? Wondering whether to simply chuck one or try and salvage it.

Big waves to everyone I've missed!

G'night all!

Holy moly it is the 29th, three days left folks and that is the end of the month. Yay!

Thursday is errand day

Missions

Babystep 29 is to do a pamper mission

Launch pad

Morning All,
Yesterday went ok but I'm feeling quite shaken. Now it's the long wait.
I'm trying to get up and on. Thinking about you all and am enjoying reading you.
Oh - found mop bucket .

Morning all,

Just back from teaching DS's class and realised I have a weird and wonderful assortment of colours on my nails this morning (was decluttering nail varnish yesterday and trying out a variety of shades). I don't think anyone noticed, though (am sure the children would have said something, at least)!

Hope you're OK, Saymwa.

SC Good to hear you're enjoying Wolf Hall; we're having it recorded (Chromecast refuses to connect iPlayer on my laptop with the TV; I've ordered an HDMI cable, which I'm hoping will solve the problem) but I've heard very mixed reviews so was hoping I wouldn't regret asking my brother to record it.
We have very similar issues with the iPod and screens/phones in general; I successfully banned TV during the week, which has worked really well, but now it seems like screens are taking over. DD1 has had a new smartphone for the last couple of weeks but has asked for her old one back as she can't stop playing on the new one; I said I would look after it for her and she could just have it to play on for, e.g., 10 mins a day (or whenever she needs to phone/text someone, of course), but she said that wouldn't work so I'm not sure what to do now. Think I need to discuss it with DH.
I haven't heard of having to choose a confirmation saint; are you Catholic? DD1 will be confirmed next year and has already chosen her godparent (if that's the correct term - have just looked the German word up in an online dictionary and it says "sponsor"), but the patron saint of TV would be quite an apt choice for her as well.

Toffee I've only had time to have a quick glance at your blog, but it looks great - I'm so impressed at everything you manage to do. Learning languages is so much easier nowadays in the Internet age; I remember listening to cassettes and watching the very occasional subtitled film, and that was it. Eating croissants and watching YouTube sounds like much more fun.

Blue Hope your head is better this morning. Was also meaning to ask how the award ceremony went; hope you had a nice evening out!

To do, in addition to routines and decluttering:
January invoices
Write shopping list
Write thank you card
Dentist (second and hopefully final appointment; will be glad when this tooth is finally sorted)
DS to Red Cross club
DD2 to theatre
DD1 to scouts
RSVP re theatre

ta da
give ds the party invite which ds put down and left
doc appointment - low blood pressure issues again
sort out ds' immunisations records and submit info request
pick up fabric softener
try to track down old fashion thank you notes

On a day of rest, over did stuff (not sure how as the majority of stuff I did was done sitting in bed) and thus suffered last night as result.

Toffee these people do some useful language learning books if it's any help.

Linzer - yes, it was a good evening out. The award is a good thing. Blog here if you're interested.

The head's fine this morning, thanks everyone. Plumber is here, ripping everything out and swearing at the mould and general bodge-jobness of what was there before.

Ta da
Laundry
Bathroom clean
General tidying up

To do
Shopping
Swimming
Borrow dehumidifier

first though. Brr!

Hope everyone is well.
I need a little list this morning...

Wash & dress (assuming baby will let me put her down...)
Reboot laundry
Unload dw (LOVING owning a dw)
Kitchen hotspots before visitors arrive
Visitors
Dinner
15 minute declutter in spare room

Schools are close due to snow.
I have been dragged out of my fast asleep state to occupy child who wished to build a snow man with help. There is not currently enough coffee in my system for this!

woohoo, I've got the house to myself for 45 mins!

Oh and DS's statement finally arrived today . BAck later.

About time too whoknows ENjoy your time to yourself

Ta da
sleep
throw snow balls
clear best part of 10cm snow from the drive
sweep and grit drive
look out of window 2 hrs later to see covered in snow again
Deal with an utterly exhausted ds who has been playing out all afternoon

I should do something productive. I can't be arsed. So I am reading through the athletes code of anti doping as they apply to kids at recreational level in ds' sport and I reckon I am going to have to do a shit load of paperwork pronto as he will be foul of the new regs. :(

AH it is all good fun.

Phew, it is all good. All clear for use for now.

You know we still need someone to lead the next thread. I can carry on talking to myself on that thread too if it helps... But there will be name change (s) involved. mwah ha ha

I hope you are all busy and happy and not just hiding from the thread. Will post the links when I have got row 32 and have cast off. 1st row of knitting will be done. All with only knit and pearl stitches . Some Patterns more or less effective. Considering row 2 of knitting I have a few ideas but if any of our resident knitters want to suggest stitch patterns I should investigate that would be super cool.

I could do it, it's been a while since I had a turn.

I have been faffing about on the computer all evening trying to get the printer to connect to print out DS's homework to no avail, think I will have to email it in.

Not much Flying today, been to work, came home, school run, helped DS with homework, took DD and friends to drama, baked a cake with DS (his birthday party is on Saturday, the dreaded sleepover). Then DS and DH headed off to Scouts (DH was going out with them tonight to help), so I had my 45 mins of being home alone, then DD came back and we did her homework and unloaded the Ocado shopping. None of which is very interesting really.

Read through the statement a couple of times, I never really thought this day would come. It's not great though and I will have to appeal the content of it, but I was prepared for that. Booked in for a celebratory manicure tomorrow.

Saymwa - I hope you feel better and less shaky now. And that you found something nice to do for yourself today (other than using the new mop, of course ).

Fantastic that you have the statement in your hands at last, WhoKnows. I think it's par for the course for it not to be great. It's only the first draft. DS1's first draft was full of exactly the sort of woolly language that SOS-SEN warned us about on that course. I used their online information leaflet to remind myself what to look out for when I went though it.

Bitchy - that sounds like an exhausting day with DS. And how frustrating that his meds might put a spanner in the works for his chosen sport . I hope you find a way round it.

Castle - sounds like you have a velcro baby. I think it's amazing you're getting anything done at all. DS2 wouldn't let me put him down either and DS1 was the same. Are there actually babies you can put down to sleep who will let you get other things done in life ? And yes, I agree about the d/w love. I wouldn't be without mine.

Blue - thank you so much for that link. Those books look excellent. Am trying to resist buying anymore resources at the moment, but will put them on my wish list. Glad your head is ok this morning. And loved reading your latest blog post about the award ceremony - very interesting and inspired further titles for my wishlist.

Linzer - I'm sure the children loved your multi-coloured nails this morning . Thanks for looking at my blog. I worry that I'm not doing enough with DS2 and failing him, so I do try to make sure we get lots done. I agree with you about access to resources for learning languages (or anything, really). I used to go to sleep listening to French radio before I took my O level, hoping that it would somehow filter into my subconscious.

ta da

Up at 5am to deal with non-sleeping DS1
Made DS1 early breakfast and gave him his sleeping meds, which he'd forgotten to take even though I handed them to him with a hot chocolate before I went to bed
Fed cats an early b/fast
Chatted with DS1 until he was sleepy
Went back to bed myself
B/fasts
Washing up
Room rescues
MIL here
Took DS2 to local aquarium for the morning - lovely trip
Home for fish and chips (of all things)
Took DS1 to his prospective new school for another visit
DH drove MIL home
Nap!
Dinner
Washing up
Bedtime for DS2
Watched first episode of 'The Good Wife'
Home ed prep

It is all good. I checked them out on the relevant website. Everything he takes is ok. Which is a huge relief. Checked mine out in the same go. Appart from the new ones I think I am ok too

I have the happies as I finished the first strip of blocks and have started on the 2nd one.

In the meantime:
launch pad

missions

declutter your purse and car day

check your calendar for next month step

pamper mission

Have not been posting for a couple of days. Feel a bit 'stuck' with where I have got to. I have a basic morning routine in place which is going OK, but I never get round to room rescues, missions, 15 minutes of decluttering or anything else and I just don't see how I'm going to fit it in.

Anyway, WhoKnows, would be interested to know if you feel the Statement/EHC Plan is restrictive or whether it allows for flexibility and changes adequately. I am still somewhat anxious about our current application for DD1. We may well want to withdraw her and HE her and I am nervous that we will hit all sorts of problems. I want the Plan in place to give her extra support and accommodations if she goes to a college in future, (i.e. she might need private room/more time for exams, exemption from oral work) but the whole thing just worries me.

Reading and thinking of everyone else too. Waving to you all!

Afternoon all,

Been out all day, just grabbing 15 mins before the DCs get home.

Toffee - it is the finalised statement, the draft came a few days before Christmas after a lot of delays. Will be appealing it, reasons are a bit long winded to post here TBH but I knew we would be appealing so didn't spend too much time going through the draft.

Bless - hard to say really, the statement is somewhat vague and unspecific (and it is a statement, not an EHCP as I applied last Jan) but it does state the placement, it sounds as though we are at totally different places as DS is much younger (Yr 6) and I have never considered HE as an option. Have you taken advice from IPSEA or SOSSEN at all?

Hi all, about Feb thread-running

Whoknows really kind of you - but feel really bad now - reading your ta da lists, you have loads more on your plate than I do!

Also Bitchy think running Jan thread is mahoosive task in itself and you deserve a break!

I can still do February, it's just that March would (v selfishly) be better for me. Could probably do both at a pinch; it would probably improve the state of my pit-like house hugely!

Whoknows so glad you actually have the Statement in your hands at long last!!!

Bless good luck with the statementing process for your dd (which I understand from the experience of others on here can be tortuous in the extreme).

Btw, agree, I have the same issue with Flylady and that is my main criticism of the system ie how to fit it all in. Yes, it's "only" supposedly 15 mins here and 15 mins there, and 5 mins in another place etc et , but if you add it all up, it all does take a considerable amount of time. I simply don't get all of it done (and have more time than most on here). But even though it's an imperfect system, it's still fairly good in other ways and housework DOeS take a long time and IS boring: Flylady just tries to present it/chop it up in away that makes it seem as if it isn't; but underneath it still is ifyswim!!

Linzer yes we are RC, and you get a 'third' name for Confirmation certificate. YOu generally chose a name from the bible, or a saint who inspires you in some way. We call it sponsor over here too (usually one of child's godparents). We used to get a slap on the cheek from the Cardinal in my day but nowadays they just do a gentle 'laying on of hands'!!

Blue hope post plumber clean up not too onerous!

Saymwa sorry you are going through this. Hope you can find some decent distractions x

Lovely to 'see' you Castle - see you are still hosting visitors!!

Goth hope you are surviving the snow

Bitchy great to see 'throwing snow balls' on your lsit

Big waves to Toffee Swan and everyone else.

I'm off to prep supper (fish fillets with sweetcorn fritters). It's been a bit of a bleak/depressing/gruelling weak. We're all tired despite having been extremely unsociable (perhaps that is why!!) Dh due back late tonight (he travelled yesterday despite being ill.) Have achieved very little except basics: and had to really force myself to do every little job as feeling a bit lacklustre ( fatigue/and horrible shaky hot flushes/bouts of perspiration (sorry for tmi!!) 'tis my age (and diet I suspect!!)

Applied for two jobs in January (nothign spectacular and not very enthusiastic about either as the content of both is boring in the extreme) but I thought better than nothing, but have not even had received an acknowledgement from applications received: never mind a proper response. Oh well. I've been out of the market for so long I think I am unemployable!!

Enjoy your w/es everyone!!

Hello All,

It's good to read you all again . Feeling pessimistic here. But I've appreciated your gentle encouragements.

Been busy flying. I know what you mean SloCo and Bless about the 15 mins here and there . In fact I like to remember what the Flylady says about not pulling out too much when it comes to decluttering or cleaning. I really do aim to do 15 minutes here and there. But often things take me longer so I keep reminding myself about the not pulling out too much stuff. And remembering that I'll be back in the not too distant future.

I do like the routine stuff and feel happy with myself if I can do the routines. How about giving yourself a pat on the back for having managed to stick at the routines before getting cross about anything else, Bless and SlowCo ?

DD is home for the week-end and I'm nervous about talking about all this scan stuff with her. But I know I'll have to do it otherwise she'll pick up something any how.

Today's tadas
Up dressed to slippers
Vacced
Shone sink
Cleaned 2 areas in living room ( didn't do them yesterday or day before)
5 minute hot spot
Swished and swiped
Got DD room ready and freshened up.
Looked at next month's calendar

Todo
Shower, dress and make up
( couldn't be bothered before)
Work prepa
Wait for DD and DH and go out together

Sending kisses to all worried mums. Take care. Wanted to say something that came from an old tv series (can't remember it's name but in it was an old man called Mr. Grace. He'd walk in and, lifting his stick in his frail hand , he'd say to his staff, "you're all doing very well".

What a lovely encouraging post Saymwa

YOu are right, we should concentrate on the positives and the little bits we have achieved. It's true that the basic routines have become so ingrained that I don't always think of them as "counting" ifyswim!

Good luck speaking to your dd x