Bitchy takes on the January Fledgling Thread. Buckle in and enjoy the ride...

[BitchyTakesOnManagement]

Ok. Welcome to the January Fledglings thread. Before we get started we have Some important notices

1. The fledglings are a long running thread, We are might seem clicky but that is what happens when some of us have been on the same thread for up to 5 years
2. We are rather partial to new blood Pull up a seat in the naughty corner
3. Don't assume you can march in and impose your way. We follow the fly lady way and we adapt it to suit our lives and needs. You are welcome to come join us for support and chat, don't assume you know best.
4. There is more to us than cleaning. If you want to be obsessive about cleaning you will find us and and our interpretation of fly lady frustrating. You might be happier else where.

Right, as harsh as it might seem, it is important to get that out of the way as we expect this January thread to be busier with newbies and there has been problems in the past.

So the fly lady system there are rules and we have adaptations.

1. NO perfectionism!!!
2. Something is better than nothing and sometimes good enough really is good enough.

3.This is not about the housework, it is about having more time to do fun stuff. Don't ever feel guilty about doing stuff with the kids over doing the housework. The kids are more important.

And the practical adaptations. We have discussed the Marie Kondo book and the approaches within on previous threads. We are all agree two things: the author does not have kids and that the principles are very good for decluttering and that they can be used to in conjunction with the fly lady system (Marie Kondo to get in control, and fly lady to stay in control). As for the fly lady system there are some of the babysteps and things that are advised that are either "huh, why?" or just don't fit in with the household. We advise a pinch of salt and discretion with a dash of reality thrown in. E.g. if you are a no shoes household then clearly the wearing shoes in the house part of babystep 2 is going to make you go This is where adaptations come in and if past threads are to be gone on this will be discussed and there are various takes on it as and when they arise.

Also for the over enthusiastic newbies to the fly lady site and system everything you need will be posted here in the form of links. There are 3 levels:
Newbie: babysteps - get into these habbit
student: Missions and babysteps once the habits are habit the missions are a piece of cake.
Expert: deep cleaning, missions and babysteps - forget this if you have clutter, seriously.
Oh and for the love of all sanity do not subscribe to the email alerts. Seriously. Just don't.

Jump on board, buckle in and lets kick the butt of January.
Bitchy special brew on the naughty corner bar, natch
do we warn the newbies about the special brew or let them find out for themselves?

Not many personals tonight, sorry.

Thank you for the links, Bitchy :)

Saymwa - one tip if you are going to go down the 'hiding' route... Pick only a few places to put the items (I have narrowed it down to a drawer for paper, a drawer of his for little things and a cupboard for big things). This will improve marital relations immensely and hopefully avoid arguments such as:
'where have you hidden my ?!?'
'I have no idea what that is, so I have no idea where I have put it. Could you give me a clue as to exactly what it is so I have a vague hope of helping you?'
'You know, you use it to ... How can you not know what that is?!?'
'Because I do the tidying round here, not the DIY, clearly! If it was that important to you, you would have put it somewhere safe!
'I didn't put it away because I was just about to use it!!'
'IT HAS BEEN IN THE SAME SPOT ON THE KITCHEN WORKSURFACE FOR THREE WEEKS. THAT DOES NOT QUALIFY AS 'JUST ABOUT TO USE IT'
Now they are more like:
'Where's my-'
'If it's small, it's in your drawer, if it's big, it's in the boiler cupboard'.
Sometimes he will even check in these two places first before he asks

Evening all

Ta Da

Washing done, dried and put away.
Bathroom cleaned including the skirting boards.
Downstairs swept.
Started sorting out school photos ready to put in an album

Also found out that I have the dinner lady job! Every monday and some Wednesdays until easter when they are completely sorting out teh all teh break time cover. Weird thought that I will be a something other than a Mum.

I'm afraid brain has shut down and I can't remember anything I've read from all teh other posts - annoying epilepsy and dyspraxia.

To do for Friday

Tescos for more porridge oats and a new Dustpan and brush - mine leaves more dust behind than it pick up
Make teh promised flapjacks and apple crumble
Starting diet again, will resist the flapjack and crumble. Might put some normal butter in it then will be sick and have stomach cramps if I eat any.
Sticking photos into album
Sort some paper work out that has been shoved into the two 'to be dealt with later' drawers.
Send old play food to playgroup after removing a few item for ds to play shops with. (he was really upset when I said it was all going - didn't know anyone played withit any more. All of Dd's lego has now gone into the vacated drawer so will make tidying and hoovering loads easier.

Switching off computer and relaxing now everyone else has gone to bed.
Back tomorrow, hopefully with functioning brain!

Evening all,

I'm ignoring the bedtime babystep again . Bitchy - hope you got your early night.

Another hectic day, I'm looking forward to Feb when things should calm down a bit.

Tada!
Morning routine, school run etc
Hospital for mammogram, very efficient, I was only out of the house for 25 mins (5 min walk each way).
Work
Walk to town at lunchtime
Home
School run
Odd jobs, such as emptying waste paper baskets
DD despatched to drama with friend
Helped DS with his homework. He was busy yelling how impossible it was but knuckled down and did a good job in the end
Snuggled in front of wood burner to sew badges on Scout uniform
DS despatched to Scouts with friend, me to pick up DD and take her friend home.
About an hour of OU work
Out into the cold again to deliver 4 Scouts home
Online stuff
Shower, exercise, bed.

One of the reasons I'm doing the ballet, as SC mentioned, is for posture, I am prone to back and pelvic floor problems. I'm trying to do some exercises at home every night to supplement my classes.

I've left the heating on tonight, I'm usually pretty frugal with it (none of us really feel the cold) but it has been very chilly in the mornings this week. DCs are still desperate for snow but we keep just getting hard frosts.

Day out tomorrow, meeting an old friend who I haven't seen for about 5 years, looking forward to that.

Just a quick one to say that I'm still here, despite being silent for a few days Will post a bit more tomorrow and thank people properly for the help that they gave me getting a present for my goddaughter. Things didn't go to plan but I did buy and post a present that I hope she likes, it is her birthday tomorrow. I was very touched by how much help people gave me on this thread.

I haven't done any proper flylady this week due to errands, DIY and exhaustion but I have done the basic habits such as clean the sink and maintaining last weeks bathroom work, etc.

I had my anomaly scan today and all appears to be ok, so now that is out of the way I hope to get back to doing more flylady from tomorrow onwards.

Glad scan was ok today, dogsbum.

Saymwa - thanks for your concern: yesterday was a particularly manic day - they're not all like that, thankfully. It was a much more gentle day today.

Have a lovely day out with your friend tomorrow, WhoKnows.

Congrats on the new job, Shannara.

Whispers - I like your technique for dealing with DH's clutter.

Bitchy - sympathies on feeling so cold today. Hope you managed to get to sleep early tonight.

Swan - interesting that you also feel so cold when you wake up. I know our body temperature drops when we sleep, but I was tucked up under a thick duvet and don't usually feel that cold when I get up. Anyway, seem to be fine now. Glad to hear you managed to get a nap too.

SC - your poor DD. Hope she can rest over the weekend and gets better soon. Thanks for mentioning my MIL: she just had to have a few check ups, partly related to her recent falls (they are still trying to find out why she keeps blacking out - could be her heart).

Had a nice evening out, celebrating another 50th birthday. Absolutely freezing on the walk home though. Tomorrow, DS2 and I are swapping roles, so I'm just about to type up a list of chores for him . He has already typed up some lessons for me (I spied rather a lot of Maths).

Hope you got some good sleep, Bitchy :)

Well done on the job, Shannara

Hope you have a nice day out, Who :)

Dogs, really glad the scan went well :)

Hope everyone else has a lovely day :)

Slow Hope DD is feeling better.
Dogsbum Glad the scan went OK.
Shannara Congrats on the job!
Whoknows Hope you have a fab time with your friend.
Toffee Hope you get all the maths correct

As for me, I'm doing a quick couple of hours at the desk on the dissertation, and then it's off to the first marriage counselling appt. Feel a bit sick. DH is not a bad guy but he's just a bit Sheldon-esque and negative and depressive and after 24.5 years of marriage it's just got to the stage where I am not in love with him and don't want him to touch me. It doesn't help that he is retired and at home all day! But I take my marriage vows really really seriously and I promised to do this till one of us dies .... and meanwhile DD1 would probably have to give up her pony if we split up and that is just NOT going to happen! So aaargh really!

Oh forgot Ta-das and To-dos

Ta-da
Morning routine inc clean sinks, wiping kitchen worktops, de-frosting the rabbits' water, all pets dealt with, etc.
Vacuumed living room (dog is moulting)

To Do
Dissertation introduction
Phone for DD1's prescription refill
Contact Parent Partnership Service re EHC Plan application
Research 14-16 college options for HE teens in case we withdraw DD1 from school
Email my brother re cholesterol
Post British Dressage registration form for pony
Tesco order

Bless - really hope that the appointment goes well

Bless - good luck with the counselling today. I really hope you find it supportive and that it makes a positive difference. And sorry for not responding earlier to your post about home ed - I have only just had time to catch up a bit on the thread. My younger son would love the Mentos challenge, but I'm keeping shtum . My older son did an experiment with a Coke bottle in the freezer once and ended up spraying our entire dining room with Coke. I still find sticky patches now and again.

So far, so good this morning. DS2 woke me up very sternly at 8am, then made my breakfast and dealt with the cats. He also did the swish and swipe in the bathroom. I have completed my Maths lesson (deliberately got some wrong for him to spot) and done some Science. I have a 'playdate' with a friend here later .

Bless good luck with the counselling. These things have a way of making the situation much clearer. My mum found my Dad very difficult to live with at one point but things are much better now. He was sociable gregarious and "flighty" and she was desperately seeking some proper feedback (which he interpreted as nagging)and so it goes on...now he is very deaf which makes things better in one sense but worse in another It is very hard living with someone that doesn't respond to your needs. They get on very well when they go on holiday. I know some married couples for whom holidays are a flashpoint. Certainly I find going on holiday with dh not particularily restful . [So annoying when people say you should get away together and spend qwality time]

done
the cleaner has been here and worked miracles as the house smells a lot better but it has absolutely exhausted me as usual trying to get a slightly hyper ds2 out of the house for football whilst running around clearing little heaps of horror before she has to tackle them. I never got to the mouldy ratatouille in the fridge alas.
I've washed two batches of washing
hung one out
recycling
cleared surfaces in the playroom
put things back in the right drawers
made ds2 write a card for his friend's birthday
found ds2 some appropriate clothes for football

two children off to school bright and early

toffee role play is scary stuff!

Feeling much more positive today, and hence more productive. It is definitely interesting how mood and clutter intersect. When I'm down I CBA to tidy up, and then the clutter makes me feel worse.

Ta Da!
Laundry done, dry and away
Yesterday's laundry away
Room rescues downstairs
S&S + proper loo clean
bathroom clean, inc mirror
Dusted
Hoovered (except in boys' room where I can't find the floor)
Decluttered inbox
Nearly booked holiday cottage

Dogsbum - routines and errands definitely are proper flying (esp if you do the errands on a Thursday!)

WhoKnows - hope you're having a lovely day

Bless hope counselling goes/went well too.

Hope DD is feeling better, SC.

Yes, best of luck with it all Bless. Hope things improve for you both, however it goes, and it is a good sign that your dh is willing to go to counselling at the very least xxxx

Oh yes about "quality time" Swan dh and I are at our very worst together on holiday!!

Glad the scan went well Dogsbum (feel really wierd calling you that!!). Hope you can rest up a bit this weekend!

Shannara congratulations on job Well done and hope you thoroughly enjoy it and your new persona!! [Congats on decluttering too. Your post made me think as I still have old play food from when dd was 3 yrs ]

Enjoy your "playdate" Toffee! Hope the doctors get to the bottom of what is ailing your mil swiftish. And thank you, yes, dd back to full bouncing good health now (fingers crossed) although she's still not eating very much. We are back to the usual evening comic/mimicry/ dance/song routine before bed anyway, which is usually a good sign Her latest impression is a very nervous young Spanish priest speaking French with a strong lisp and a dreadful accent which I shouldn't encourage but can't help cracking up at as I have met the poor man several times and it is spot on!!

Btw, meant to say down-thread, so pleased to hear that your ds1 has grown and put on weight!! That is brilliant news as I know it was something that has worried you very much. Hopefully that will have good knock-on effects wrt his anxiety too! Well done to him (and to you for all your tempting snack/meal preparations!!).

Swan/Toffee* wierdly I feel boiling hot and ill every morning!! (Waves of heat from 6.50 am when I get up until about 10.30 am when it settles down.) Think hormonal though or sugar/food related!! Big bone of contention between dh and myself as he likes bathroom to be tropical in the morning (a difficult feat in this house!) while I go around feeling faint, turning down radiators and opening windows!! I'm freezing at night however!

Aargh Whispers don't talk to me about dh and DIY tools. He rarely takes them out but NEVER puts them away. EVER. Arrrgghhhh!!!

Hope you are having/have had a lovely day out Whoknows and I really envy you your wood-burner right now.

Hope you are feeling a bit more energetic today ¨Bitchy and ta for links!

I stupidly cancelled my cleaner this morning as I just desperately "vanted to be alone" and have some time to "think" after dd being at home so much (and we have a long, three day weekend coming up) and couldn't face the usual marathon "frantic gathering of items and carrying them up four flights of stairs and frantic gathering of more items and carrying them down four flights of stairs" prior to her arrival. I'm now regretting it as the afternoon has become a bit sunnier and shown up the dust on the surfaces and streaks on the windows!!

Sod it though, our plans have changed so many times wrt this weekend that I am thoroughly fed up and have "gone hermit"! First guests were coming then postponed. Then they were coming again. Then they were not but suggested next weekend. Then it was back on this weekend. Then it looked like we were going to have to cancel because of dfil and now it's postponed again!!! Arrggghhh!! And we have lots of local plan "bs" contingent on whether guests coming or not which keep changing accordingly. Treble arrggh!! Want to close the front door on the whole lot of 'em frankly!! Trouble is, "doing hermit" doesn't really work with an energetic 11 yr old.

Ta da:
morning routine inc shiny sink, rabbits, dw, wm, dining room table hot spot
general tidy up
sorted finishing touches to dd's 'not a party' invitations
emptied dw
quick supermarket and chemist run
several long phone calls about arrangements for this w/e
put away clean and ironed laundry

Not a lot really but at least something. Off to scratch my head wrt supper as meal planning has been very lax this week.

Still can't believe it is Friday afternoon already! Hope eveyrone enjoys their weekends!!

Big waves to everyone I've missed!

x posts Blue thanks! DD's energy levels improved sufficiently to argue vociferously about not being allowed to take Ipods/tablets to bed!!!

So glad you are feeling more positive today. YY to clutter and its impact on mood. Congrats on a very productive day!!

Evening everyone

No flying today. Ds home ill, he wanted to go to school took the class teacher to convince him that he'd be better at home. He hasn't moved off the sofa. Unfortunately Did had to walk home by her self for the first time. Was fine until she got home and remembered it was Friday which is shop day. When she stopped crying I promised to make it up to her - having ASD she hates any change in routine.
I've escaped to the kitchen to cook my tea, we always end up eating different meals here.
I have kept the sinks shiny though.

Sorry for the boring waffle but a whole day of Cartoon Network and I'm feeling brain dead.

Have a good evening.
Will try and reply to other posts next time.

Hope things were helpful Bless just remember sometimes the result are not seen after just one appointment and they often appear worse before improving.

Today has not gone to plan. Ended up doing a full day in the office rather than the half that I had originally agreed to. Brain now wants to go out and do stuff. Body is not so very convinced We will have to wait and see which wins. Ds is also mightly pissed off as was ill enough to be sent home but school messed up and no one got in contact with either me or the 2nd emergency contact person so i now have an extra job to do on monday.

Child is demanding attention. Will be back with the links when he is suitably fed and water and dosed up with some paracetamol for his temperature.

this made me snigger

Oh SC every Friday I wish the cleaner wasn't coming and have to mentally steel myself and then every Friday evening I feel like at least something is cleaner and tidier. I mention this to other people and they all think I am nuts.

Ds2 went to a football, and then a football party today (quite informal as these 12 year old parties are) which was wonderful, for as he pointed out, he hadn't been to a birthday party for a long time (excepting a four year old's with Barbie cake) But it took it out of him - he was sort of grey with exhaustion from holding it all together and then retired to his room for screen and pjs for rest of evening;now he is conversing with ds1 about football match (Cambridge?) which they are watching together.

Ds1 is in a good mood, very lively and smiley but I can see that he is shortly going to get fed up with ds2 interjections and there is a big fight brewing

Dd took one look at supper (vegetable and chicken breast with layer of crispy potatoes on top) and said it was revolting and went back upstairs. Does anyone else have such a fussy teenage eater??? She seems to live on cucumber tuna parma ham and boiled potatoes, oh and toast with nutella. And sweets of course. Only fruit she will touch is granny smith apples.

Plan for this evening is to put the laundry away. And reload dw. Dh is away so I can potter.

Bitchy I have all those mess factors. Even the nose prints on the glass. Ds2 likes to put his face right up to the window glass and the mirrors Hope ds feels better soon. What a horrid month Jan is turning out to be.

Evening everyone :)

Blue - that s definitely true for me about the link between mood and clutter. I am having a rubbish week anyway, plus I have PMT which definitely brings on the CBAness in me. I've done next to no flying this week, these things are very much linked :(

SC - you have got to tell me where the 'I vant to be alone' thing comes from, my mum says it as a joke sometimes, I've always wondered about it, but just bought it was a strange quirk of hers Quite excited to find it is a real thing now I am fairly sure that you are not my mother

Great link, Bitchy

Swan - yes, I certainly can't wait for January to be over! It is often miserable, but this one has been worse than usual!

Have only scanned because I'm tired. I enjoyed seeing my friend today and the time just flew by, but I do feel as though I have come back with her problems on my shoulders to some extent, she's having a bit of a tough patch.

Shannara - I think a whole day of Cartoon Network would have me reaching for the gin bottle.

Bless - well done for taking your vows so seriously, I hope the counselling pays off. A few of us on here are also in the EHC plan / statement process, that's not easy either.

I know it was spoofed by 'allo allo' by it think it was the catch phrase of a famous actress before that. Not sure which one though.

Ds is awake again. for the day i think. But i have set him up with some cartoons which are old school and he hasn't seen. So i am going to post the links and see if i can get some sleep.

launch pad

No missions cos it is the weekend

babystep 24 swish and swipe. I actually think this one should come earlier but hey ho... Oh yeah that means it isn't one you should ignore

Saturday is family fun day

Good morning All,

Thanks again for the suggestions about helping DH tidying his stuff Whispers. I like your ideas :) Please do keep them coming.

Well yesterday very much didn't go to plan here. Went for routine checkup and took swimming things to get into pool after but the checkup went on and on all afternoon . And now I have to go for more scans on Tuesday and I am absolutely petrified.

One petrified person makes for little flying. So just hanging about trying not to look too miserable so as not to worry DH.

Was going to swish and swipe but toilet's blocked. ( Think it's come out in sympathy with me. ) So shall just make tea.

I decided to explain all this rather than just disappearing from the thread for a while.

All the best to you all.

Saymwa - sorry that you are so worried about the scans, I hope you get good news on Tuesday Please keep coming back even if you aren't in a position to post

Bitchy - thank you for the links I too am surprised that swish and swipe waits until Babystep 24!! That is an important one in my morning routine and the most regularly ignored

Hello everyone, I seem to have dropped off the thread nothing to do with no flying, oh no

Shannara, great news on the job, when do you start?

Bless, hope you're appointment went well, I'm sure it must have been hard. As someone else said, the fact you are both prepared to go says a lot.

Saymwa, hope the scans went ok, although it sounds as though they are stressful too.

Waves to Bitchy, Blue, SC, Whispers, Engles, Castle, Linzer, Dogsbum, WhoKnows, Swan and everyone else I have missed

Bitchy can you PM me your flylady thread leader how-to guide with link instructions? I'd like to have a go in April when I will have lots if time to do it!