Bitchy takes on the January Fledgling Thread. Buckle in and enjoy the ride...

[BitchyTakesOnManagement]

Ok. Welcome to the January Fledglings thread. Before we get started we have Some important notices

1. The fledglings are a long running thread, We are might seem clicky but that is what happens when some of us have been on the same thread for up to 5 years
2. We are rather partial to new blood Pull up a seat in the naughty corner
3. Don't assume you can march in and impose your way. We follow the fly lady way and we adapt it to suit our lives and needs. You are welcome to come join us for support and chat, don't assume you know best.
4. There is more to us than cleaning. If you want to be obsessive about cleaning you will find us and and our interpretation of fly lady frustrating. You might be happier else where.

Right, as harsh as it might seem, it is important to get that out of the way as we expect this January thread to be busier with newbies and there has been problems in the past.

So the fly lady system there are rules and we have adaptations.

1. NO perfectionism!!!
2. Something is better than nothing and sometimes good enough really is good enough.

3.This is not about the housework, it is about having more time to do fun stuff. Don't ever feel guilty about doing stuff with the kids over doing the housework. The kids are more important.

And the practical adaptations. We have discussed the Marie Kondo book and the approaches within on previous threads. We are all agree two things: the author does not have kids and that the principles are very good for decluttering and that they can be used to in conjunction with the fly lady system (Marie Kondo to get in control, and fly lady to stay in control). As for the fly lady system there are some of the babysteps and things that are advised that are either "huh, why?" or just don't fit in with the household. We advise a pinch of salt and discretion with a dash of reality thrown in. E.g. if you are a no shoes household then clearly the wearing shoes in the house part of babystep 2 is going to make you go This is where adaptations come in and if past threads are to be gone on this will be discussed and there are various takes on it as and when they arise.

Also for the over enthusiastic newbies to the fly lady site and system everything you need will be posted here in the form of links. There are 3 levels:
Newbie: babysteps - get into these habbit
student: Missions and babysteps once the habits are habit the missions are a piece of cake.
Expert: deep cleaning, missions and babysteps - forget this if you have clutter, seriously.
Oh and for the love of all sanity do not subscribe to the email alerts. Seriously. Just don't.

Jump on board, buckle in and lets kick the butt of January.
Bitchy special brew on the naughty corner bar, natch
do we warn the newbies about the special brew or let them find out for themselves?

Bitchy / Whispers - "I vant to be alone" is Greta Garbo's line in the film, 'Grand Hotel'.

Lovely sunny day here. Hoping to use a Pizza Express voucher we have for lunch. Other than that... no plans at all. Might do some lesson planning. Should do some decluttering .

I will join those people feeling overwhelmed about keeping up with the thread. Last night I thought it might be easier if I cut and pasted the thread since Monday into a word document so that I could highlight bits to respond to and move more easily between typing a posting and the thread over the week, the document turned out to be 46 pages!!! I don't think I'll be doing that again!

However, I do really want to be part of the thread and I'm really feeling like the flylady way is going to be good for me so I'm going to try to just keep on posting and accept that I wont always be able to keep up with all of the thread and I hope that people will be ok with that.

I haven't been doing the missions this week but I am keeping up with the basics and I think acquiring little habits slowly will work for me.

Thank you to all the people who helped me with ideas for what to get my goddaughter. Sadly, I spent hours shopping and couldn't find the yes/no card game or a knitting kit and most tops seemed to be Summer tops already. So in the end I bought 3 tops which I think are quite nice, one a party top and the other two everyday but nice tops. Thank you for letting me know that the card game can be found on Amazon, I've now put it on my wish list and I think I'll probably buy it for her in a month or so to send as a part the way through the year gift, it's nice to have something fun and small as an idea to send her.

Thank you to all the people who said good news on my scan.

In terms of flylady, still mostly just doing the basics this week but I am doing other jobs and errands. Thanks Blue for reassuring me that errands do still count as flying.

Thank you for letting me know what special brew is, sadly as a non coffee drinker I wont be able to enjoy any. I was secretly hoping that it might be some great cocktail that I could enjoy after bump arrives. Maybe I'll have to create my own to celebrate having a drink at that point!

Thank you to however mentioned getting a timer from Lakeland. I know you said you don't use it but I've bought one from Lakeland, I needed one anyway for the kitchen and I hope to use it for the timed tasks, when I actually get round to doing any!

Yesterday I did replace two more light pendants (it was easier and quicker without DP I have to confess) and a very dodgy light switch. Two more light switches to replace and then hopefully our electrics will be a little safer and will certainly look a lot better. I also did some hoovering yesterday, mostly due the amount of loose plaster that was hiding behind electrics and hence fell onto the carpets when I replaced them!

Last Friday I de-cluttered car and handbag and started washing outside of car, then yesterday I checked handbag again and today I plan to do a more thorough cleaning of car and hoover the inside out. I also plan to do at least 15 mins de-cluttering somewhere in the house, just to get me going again. Only task that I have actually completed today is the washing up, still at least I guess it's something, just need to get my arse off the sofa now and do something else!

My new habit to acquire is that I'm going to try not to get intimidated by the thread and to post more often

By the way, a couple of people have said they feel a bit weird about calling me Dogsbum, just to reassure you I should say that I like Dogsbum and actually prefer it to Dogshair so don't worry. If we can call our leader Bitchy, which felt so wrong the first time, then I think Dogsbum is fine!

Well said Dogsbum!!

Thanks Grey!

By the way, there is an article on the BBC news website about the impact of clutter and comparing clutter to obesity! I'm not sure what I think of the comparison but I think reading how bad clutter is for you can only help to inspire me to de-clutter.

The article also comes up with a term for suffocating under too much stuff call 'stuffocation' a silly made up word but it does conjure up quite a powerful image.

I'm not experienced at links so I don't know if this will work but this is the link www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-30849473
The article is called 'Viewpoint: The Hazards of too much stuff' if the link doesn't work.

Linked worked dogsbum

GreyMalkin will sort the links out for you. I need to consider how to format it so hq are not helpfull and automatically generate links which is unhelpful iyswim

Ds is going to be in a vile mood. The timer on the power supply to ds' tv appears not to be working as his tv had a power supply at 1am and it is not supposed to. And he has been up since 1am. I finally managed to get some sleep around 9am. So have had about 4hrs sleep. Ds will be in a vile mood. But there is going to be a collection of technology and there will be the purchasing of a new timer switch. And i think ds will need to come off his sleep meds for another week. Which is all good fun

I will pop back and read the thread properly right now I need coffee, breakfast and pain killers for the headache.

Thanks for letting me know Bitchy

ta da
empty ds' wardrobe
move random boxes of stuff out of ds' room
fold washing
2 loads laundry washed
move furniture in ds' room
sort out electrical issue - user error which is relieving but slightly annoying
make cinnamon rolls
DW loaded and run
read technology riot act to ds
clean behind move furniture and return furniture
put another load of washing on
consider issue of what toys to return and what toys to hide with intent to get rid of
Recycling is soaking in the sink ready to be cleaned, dried, binned and gone
oat breadrolls dough in bread machine

I am ready for bed but

To do
get ds to tidy some lego up
cook and ice cinnamon rolls
cook up bread rolls
more folding
ds' clothes away
return clothes to ds' wardrobe
remove technology from ds' room by bedtime
survive until ds in bed, and essential stuff done before passing out and having and early night's sleep.

So basically another 3 hours to go then

In a head vs door incident guess what wins? The answer isn't sleep :(

I'm back promise I never went away and struggling to catch up on the thread!

Bless hope the counselling went well.
Saymwa good luck for scans.

My reason for going awol was partly DD's illness at the start of the week and therefore DM coming back up which is amazing but leads to huge amounts of stress. With the kitchen appliances out of action, I was spending every waking second washing up or at the launderette and was just massively depressed about having to do everything. Anyway, mum being here meant the drain dudes could come away earlier and cleared it just with a jet spray. I'd been speaking to our insurance company, scared it would involve collapsed drains etc but (hooray!) the actual cost was less than our Excess.

And today is DD's birthday party which I've stupidly decided to have at home. So extreme crisis cleaning and shoving of stuff in to the front room. DH has been up since 5.30 cleaning the kitchen(!). I discovered late last night that, due to sweetie confusion, I have insufficient sweets for pass the parcel so that's only half done and I'm also panicking that the sweets I didget are unsuitable for 3 year olds... But I can be a bit psb (precious second born) about the appropriateness of sweets and other foods while people happily let their 1 year olds chomp on haribo from a party bag.

Still, I haven't gone. I'm still here x

Trazzles my top tip for children's birthday parties (having been to my niece's 4th last week) is have a one big toy (dolls house garage) in the corner for them to play with at off moment or when party is just beginning. Don't have the music too loud (it just annoys the parents Individually Plate up all the food in some form in advance with clingfilm (if it is cold) Have water on hand in paper cups on a tray for those children who might want a drink before the party tea (you would be surprised how many say they are thirsty after a game of musical bumps) Make the children sit down to eat in designated area! And factor in a bit of free play but not for the whole party. SIL really did not think of some of these things in advance. And she got a bit stressed by it. Her house is quite small and lots of parents stayed. I think last year's party they all just ran around happily though Oh yes and tea in a thermos or big teapot for parents as giving them drinks alone will drive you insane..

Hope you are alright Sayma it is a horrible time waiting.

I've booked ds2 and I on a ski holiday in Seefeld offpeak in Feb! I'm now slightly worried there won't be much snow but there is a very short transfer from airport as it is so looooww which will suit ds2 very well. Ds2 and I have never been on a skiing holiday (although I have skied twice age 14 and 17) so I am hoping this will be a productive adventure [gulp] and at the very least we can learn something about glaciation. Ds2 was obsessed yesterday about booking our train tickets to Gatwick from London - he really is quite organised in his way! Oh dear he has just read that and took offence. He said he is "very organised".

Morning All,

Thanks to you all for the kind words about these damned scans. Yesterday I spent time with RL friends which was good for me. Now I'm waiting for Tuesday.

So Today's Todos
Aim at flying but accept fluttering also.
Morning routine
Swish and swipe ( toilet is unblocked )
Make dinner
15 mins decluttering in living room
15 mins polishing in living room
More prepa for work
Go out with DH
Make Irish stew and start slow cooking it.

Don't know whose head was banged Bitchy, but hope it's ok this morning .
Good luck for party Trazzles - and waow to your DH flying at 5.30 on a Sunday morning !!!
What a lovely idea - to go skiing. Sounds great Swan :) And, I am very impressed that you have a very organised son. Please pass that on to him.

Great reading you all.
Bye for now, :)

Ds' head was banged, he slipped and tried to put it through the edge of a door. I checked on him about every hour and half until half 4 when I went to sleep. slept through the 5:30 alarm but was too worried as he was sleeping very lightly. He got up a 7am anyway but has let me sleep until 11:30 which although was a bit broken as he has been in and out a little bit, has been greatly appreciated.

In everything that went on yesterday I forgot the links so here they are:

launch pad

no missions it is sunday

babystep use a calendar. She has changed this since i last looked at it, and my tired brain is struggling to figure out what her point about this is. It is either one you can skip or it is the use a calendar the fly lady way babystep

a sneak peak to what is coming up this week for the enthusiastic

sunday is renew your soul day

Hi everyone, still not much flying in the Grey house, but here goes:

Ta dahs:
Hoovered sofa after DH let DS eat his breakfast on it, fecking crumbs everywhere
Diner in the slow cooker
Two wash loads on
Dishwasher on

Shit loads still to do... House is a pig sty and DH has done nothing but fuck about on his iPad and sleep. DS just settled for his nap so I need to crack on.... Laters.

Have been trying to persuade DH and DC to declutter some of our many DVDs as we bought a TV unit yesterday that we can store them in, so it seemed like a good opportunity, but wasn't very successful (we got rid of a grand total of two). At least we managed to fit the remaining ones into the drawers so were able to take down the two shelves in the living room, which makes it look much better. They've now gone into the DDs' rooms, to make them look even more cluttered. DH wanted to put one in a really inaccessible place in DD1's room for the books that she'll never look at; I did try to argue that if she's not looking at books, she needs to declutter them rather than acquire a bookcase for them, but he wasn't convinced (although he did put it somewhere more accessible in the end).

Braved the snow this morning to vote in the local elections. It feels quite intimidating, almost as if you're going for a job interview when you enter the polling station, as there are five or six people sitting at a long table who eye you up rather suspiciously when you walk in. One calls out number on polling card number, another looks you up on a list and calls your name out very loudly, another writes your name down on another list, and I'm not sure what the other two were doing. I also had the strong feeling that they were going to discuss us once we'd left the room! Even DH admitted it was quite unnerving.

Bitchy Ouch, poor DS, hope he's ok now.

Saymwa Good luck for Tuesday; hope it all goes well.

swan There's plenty of snow here at the moment and we're not in a particularly snowy area. February is peak skiing period here - for people with children, at any rate, due to half-term (staggered over the first three weeks of the month). DS has booked the DC in for a couple of skiing lessons but I think I'm going to stay home in the warm - I decided after a morning of cross-country skiing about 15 years ago that winter sports aren't really my thing.

Trazzletoes Hope the party goes well and isn't too stressful; I always keep myself going by thinking of the relief I'll feel once it's all over.

Dogsbum Interesting article - thanks for the link.

Hello to everyone else!

x posts Grey - aargh to crumbs on sofa; I know how you feel.

Afternoon all

Loving the talk/cartoon of nose prints on the glass

Waves to Swan's very organised son!!!

Truly sorry to keep coming on here and moaning but feeling a bit glum today...not this whingy in rl ... honest!!!!

[Full blown Garbo-esque whinge alert]

Huge row with dh yesterday (situation I had identified in advance as likely to cause huge stress, took intensive action mid-week last week to avoid said stress, needed dh to complete final bit of action as only he could do that, which he didn't (despite three reminders), whole thing blew up as predicted, then I blew up at him for giving it so little priority. Then dd turned around and blew up at me for blowing up at dh despite not understanding situation at all . We are just about back on speaking terms today and we have all apologised to one another but I am not exactly feeling buoyant, not because of situation itself but because it highlighted extreme 'power' imbalance between dh and myself and his, completely different, view of priorities [sigh]. Neither likely to change any time soon!!

Also, situation with secondary school inscription turning in to absolute nightmare. Thought it was all straightforward only to have intended school inform us that they have had to change their inscription language quotas (to be fair to them this was imposed on them by education authority) and it turns out we will not only be putting all of our eggs in one basket, but inside a much smaller basket in that one basket ifywim. It could now turn out that dd won't have a school place in Sept and we won't know that for sure until end May and there's very little we can do about it.

Finally, I think I'm feeling down because I've always had the thought that dd's move to secondary school could prompt a return back to the UK and although I've known for over a year that this is now extremely unlikely, I am now actually having to come to terms with the reality ifyswim. Heigh ho ... there are many positives to being here too ... so must focus on those.

Swan Yay to forthcoming ski trip!!! Good to have something to look forward to. And couldn't agree more about party tips (I am afraid I am of the 'plan everything to nth degree' school of party hosting). [control freak emoticon]
I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that you also have to steel yourself before cleaner's arrival. Everyone I mention it to think I am nuts as well!! Will re-read your post every Thursday night to give me gumption for next day (sorry if this sounds totally pathetic to everyone else; I know how lucky I am to have a cleaner in the first place)!!!

Btw, if it's any consolation, dd on/off fussy about her food. (Your chicken tray bake sounds delicious!!) Maddeningly, she eats up every bit of hot lunches served at school because she is not given any choice in the matter!

Shannara/Bitchy hope your young 'uns are feeling better now - and all other Fledgling dc who are ailing

Hope ds's head is OK and that your headache dissipates soon Bitchy and congrats on long list despite it!

Whispers arf at potentially being your mother I am probably old enough See Bitchy has already filled you in re Garbo!!

Whoknows sorry your friend going through tough patch

Saymwa Love Irish stew! Congrats on long ta da list and sorry to hear about scans on Tuesday ...try not to worry in meantime (easier said than done I am sure) but hope all turns out for the good x

Bless you Greymalkin for learning future thread leadership skills!! Very good of you!!

Hi Dogsbum (sorry but your statement about liking being called Dogsbum made me chuckle a bit - anything to do with Downton Abbey by any chance (opening credits)???? Thanks for 'Stuffocation' article ... certainly food for thought!! Glad goddaughter present sorted successfully! I have exact same issue re: buying for my godsons!! (Anxious to get it right and no idea what boys like!!)

Dogsbum and anyone else finding it difficult keeping up with thread - please, please, don't stress about it. Just know you are very welcome to post, with or without including personal responses. And use it to help you Fly! Lots of us on here who include personals have been on this thread a very long time, which makes it a lot easier to keep up!!! And, as discussed before, it depends on work loads, number of dc, what's going on in rl! It's very nice of you to worry about it, but please don't give it another thought!!

Great to hear from you Trazzles Hope party is going well!! (Passes over several bottles of for tonight when everyone's gone!!) Thank heavens plumbing probs resolved successfully too!! No wonder you were feeling depressed with all the extra work when everything was so pressured anyway!! Hope you get a bit of 'time out' to recover from the horrible time you have had recently.

Big waves to everyone else!!

Oh, forgot about that Flying thing:
done a bit of washing
done a bit of rabbit stroking
done a bit of bed-making
done a bit of cooking
done a bit of ironing

[Yawn]

x posts

Greymalking my dh spends most of Sat and Sun afternoons asleep too!! (To be fair to him, he is usually exhausted/jet-lagged from work so I don't object but it can be a bit annoying when it cuts in to the day so much.)

Big waves to Linzer!! Well done on DVD/book sorting, and decluttering of sitting room, even if not many thrown away!! We had a discussion recently wrt music CDs. Dh argues that we don't need any of them any more as can download from Spotify, Youtube etc. I'm a bit reluctant to get rid completely as some of mine are quite obscure! We're a bit stuck over it so they've stayed in the shelves!! DD desperately needs new bookcase and chest of drawers too! (I get terribly sentimental about throwing away children's books though so may be sub-consciously delaying the moment!!)

Had exactly the same experience when voting here last year!! (Made even more embarrassing by the fact that we had made administrative error and our names were called out and discussed in front of long line of impatient voters-to-be.) Then turned out we were in completely wrong building trying to vote for wrong thing (local elections and European elections were beng held at same time!!!!) Cue lots of tutting from queue!! Admittedly woeful/disorganised performance but made even more excruciatingly embarrasing by dead-pan officials

Snow here too right now, although it's melting a bit today!!

SC I'm sorry you had such a draining day with dh and also dd's secondary application. I remember the tensions running so high when we all applied (Catholic schools so lots of references). Now I look back and think it was a lot less important than I imagined. The difficult bit was yet to come enduring said secondary schools...I say this as I deal with grumpy daughter who has just decided she has to do an entire project on rainforest for tomorrow and has only just discovered this (was away for Geography last Monday) You do still have options. There will be a solution in May one way or another. There is never just one perfect school for any child.

I feel guilty about my tips to Trazzles very bossy of me. I myself suffered terribly from not organising my parties sufficiently but just as an observer I saw exactly what caught my SIL on the hop..I think when you are giving a party you just get through it and then feel immensely relieved it has all gone brilliantly and is over and there are stacks of presents [yay!]

Bitchy hope ds is alright after the fall. Ds1 was reminding me of when he fell down the stairs and as he was falling he thought that's it - I am going to break my neck and luckily he just about rescued himself at the end by putting his hand out [cheery thought]

Dd seems in a better mood and is in cutting out iron on letters She now has decided she can deal with the rainforest as there is in fact only a specific question she was supposed to answer. So that's alright then.

She has been very foul this afternoon -missing her Dad I think.

Thank you Swan yes I am sure you are right. There's never a 'wrong' decision in the end!! And sometimes what one thinks of as a 'less than ideal' outcome turns out to be fine or have hidden benefits. We'll just have to go with the flow and see what happens. You are legally obliged to put three choices down so it will hopefully be one of those (if dd passes end of year state obligatory exams). Should be grateful they are all good schools in their own way and all free!

Hope rain forest project progressing quickly and not causing too much angst!!

x post Swan glad to hear she only has one question to answer and your dd is feeling cheerier!! (We've been struggling with maths all afternoon).

I don't suppose one is allowed to take a 'small leave of absence' from the secondary school years and then arrive back in time for university??? Given the pressures dd has already been subjected to in primary school here, I'm really not looking forward to the combination of that pressure trebling combined with adolescent angst!!

Evening all. Sorry to hear of so many stresses and strains. We've been visiting my brother and SIL this weekend, which was lovely, except that DS2 came down with some kind of dread lurgy and is still looking decidedly peaky. He really wants to go to school tomorrow (!) to see his friends, but not sure he'll be up to it. We'll see though.

Am on phone, so can't reply to personals as I can't read back while I'm writing
Hope weekends have been ok overall, apart from bumps on the head and lurgies
I'm jumping back into flying tomorrow., have had a very none flying week, I need to get back into it
Will catch up properly tomorrow, autocorrect is driving me insane on here

Some more ta dah's:

Dishwasher emptied, reloaded and on again
Hand washing up done
DS bathed and hair washed
Another cot bumper dissected/dismantled for sewing project
My clothes ready for tomorrow
DSs clothes and nursery bag ready for tomorrow
My lunch made for tomorrow
Wash load sorted and taken downstairs ready to go on in the morning
Kindle found and recharged
Meals mostly planned for the week

Renew spirit mission completed - shower followed by liberal use of expensive moisturiser and in bed about to start reading a new book (Wolf Hall) with a Yankee Candle on too.

Night all