Bitchy takes on the January Fledgling Thread. Buckle in and enjoy the ride...

[BitchyTakesOnManagement]

Ok. Welcome to the January Fledglings thread. Before we get started we have Some important notices

1. The fledglings are a long running thread, We are might seem clicky but that is what happens when some of us have been on the same thread for up to 5 years
2. We are rather partial to new blood Pull up a seat in the naughty corner
3. Don't assume you can march in and impose your way. We follow the fly lady way and we adapt it to suit our lives and needs. You are welcome to come join us for support and chat, don't assume you know best.
4. There is more to us than cleaning. If you want to be obsessive about cleaning you will find us and and our interpretation of fly lady frustrating. You might be happier else where.

Right, as harsh as it might seem, it is important to get that out of the way as we expect this January thread to be busier with newbies and there has been problems in the past.

So the fly lady system there are rules and we have adaptations.

1. NO perfectionism!!!
2. Something is better than nothing and sometimes good enough really is good enough.

3.This is not about the housework, it is about having more time to do fun stuff. Don't ever feel guilty about doing stuff with the kids over doing the housework. The kids are more important.

And the practical adaptations. We have discussed the Marie Kondo book and the approaches within on previous threads. We are all agree two things: the author does not have kids and that the principles are very good for decluttering and that they can be used to in conjunction with the fly lady system (Marie Kondo to get in control, and fly lady to stay in control). As for the fly lady system there are some of the babysteps and things that are advised that are either "huh, why?" or just don't fit in with the household. We advise a pinch of salt and discretion with a dash of reality thrown in. E.g. if you are a no shoes household then clearly the wearing shoes in the house part of babystep 2 is going to make you go This is where adaptations come in and if past threads are to be gone on this will be discussed and there are various takes on it as and when they arise.

Also for the over enthusiastic newbies to the fly lady site and system everything you need will be posted here in the form of links. There are 3 levels:
Newbie: babysteps - get into these habbit
student: Missions and babysteps once the habits are habit the missions are a piece of cake.
Expert: deep cleaning, missions and babysteps - forget this if you have clutter, seriously.
Oh and for the love of all sanity do not subscribe to the email alerts. Seriously. Just don't.

Jump on board, buckle in and lets kick the butt of January.
Bitchy special brew on the naughty corner bar, natch
do we warn the newbies about the special brew or let them find out for themselves?

Pressed post too soon but that basically sums it up

Yesterday was very work heavy. I am preparing for a 90 minute meeting on Monday and so far have spent four hours on it!! Seems slightly ridiculous. In the end I retreated to bed with a headache unable to do anymore

I love the idea of a wine water feature in the naughty corner

Dh is at home this week and has been keeping on top of things. The washing basket is empty and the house tidy

I will try to catch up with the thread this evening.

[Warning - Eeyore-ish post of the highest order alert]

Thanks for all kind words about sil & fil situation. It's still pretty grim tbh.

Very of all these helpful dhs who do chores ... .

Have the post-Christmas, back to reality blues atm. Lost my mo-jo big time. Like Pushme have done bugger all Flying. And like Ellie am eating everything I shouldn't to cheer myself up which in turn makes me feel even more miserable!! But, unlike Ellie and Pushme, don't have productive work day to justify my actions!!

Just about managed to take down the decorations (revealing depressing state of walls in much need of decoration) but haven't packed them up and put them away properly yet.

DD pre-teen behaviour absolutely foul atm (she finds adjusting back to school routine extraordinarily tough; just like her mother ). Dh back on the road travelling. Me left washing socks in decrepid house; oh joy.

Desperately need something else in my life, such as a paying job, but matching one up with dd's school hrs (she has 19 weeks holiday a year) is proving virtually impossible although people do manage it; but positions are like hens teeth.

Tried to make a 'motivational' start yesterday by assembling action list for 2015, including chores such as sorting out art cupboard, sorting out basement, sorting out home office but ended up demotivating myself even more!

Going back to basics today and power of three. And perhaps a bit of cooking.

Hope everyone has as good a day as humanly possible and will be back tonight to avail myself of wine water feature

Btw, very wise words from Whispers there

"I really do have to force myself, sometimes that is as much of an achievement as the things that I actually manage to tick off. "

Hear, hear to that!

Sorry, forgot to say, well done for getting through CAHMS meeting Bitchy and hope it was helpful

Any news of your dd Mercury?

Good luck at mw appt Engels

Good news about no op being necessary Swan for your ds2!!

Oh that's so lovely/ bitter/sweet about your Great Aunt Goth I hate goodbyes.

[shock

sorry, pressed wrong button

at -4 cycling Linzer!! That's incredibly stalwart of you!

Swan sorry that should have read 'ds1' not ds2 - apologies

Good luck to ds1 wrt to school visit today Toffee!

Big feathery waves to everyone I've missed. Had better get going. Laundry room is so bad/out of control, I hardly dare go in there.

DD ran out of clean pants this morning but fortunately could give her some from the "things that you will grow in to drawer"!

Then found I had forgotten to iron her uniform for Thurs and Fri.

Then tried to get out of door and couldn't find my key, her key, or the spare key! Got out eventually by using dh's key.

This is bad, even for me!!

Aww, I'm glad to have inspired somebody this early in the morning

Thursdays are my favourite day in term time
To do:
Supermarket trip sans DC! This is desperate, we are down to the last third of the last toilet roll, eek!
Take DD to our Thursday toddler group, I love this one, it's surprisingly relaxing for a toddler group!
Normal routines
Will try and do another 15 mins in the kitchen later if I have the energy (really not sleeping that well at the moment :()

Sorry, SC, but your description of trying to get ready for school and then not being able to get out the door made me laugh. I have times like that too. I had to wear bikini bottoms the other day because I had no clean pants .

(But, on a more serious note, you should all be able to get out easily in case there's a fire ).

Managed seven hours sleep last night, which is an improvement. DS2 woke up at 8, which is also good as it means he is getting back into his normal sleep routine.

Home ed this morning, then we're dropping DS2 off at MIL's so we can take DS1 for a tour of the school. (Thanks for the good luck, SC).

Woohoo, it's Thursday! That means it is DH's one night in the week to make dinner ??. Phew.

Done: morning routine
1 school run

To do: (all left over from yesterday...)
clean out fish tank
Declutter by my bed
Declutter by my desk
Contact mediator re EHC plan application
Update finances
Work on dissertation intro

Morning all,

I've been eating when I shouldn't as well, so I've decided to reunite myself with MyFitnessPal after about 18 months off. I found my Fitbit (which I lost for the same 18 months) just before Christmas and got them linked together, I'm doing ok on my main meals but the snacking habit has crept back in over Christmas.

DD is driving me mad. She hasn't been brushing her hair properly so it's got all matted at the back, so I sat her down and detangled it all last night, 20 minutes of screaming and crying and threats to cut it all off. She's desperate to keep it but faffs about so much in the morning there's never time to brush it properly. I need a new routine I think. I'm struggling to find anything to incentivise her with in the mornings, she takes ages to do everything.

Pouring with rain here and I feel a bit weak and wobbly after giving blood yesterday, it certainly takes it out of me more than it did when younger, so I'm going to go to work, drink lots of water and hope to be back on top of things tonight.

Really need to start work - 1.5 hours into my child-free time and nothing achieved work-wise so far, but have this week's English lesson (teaching DS's class) out of the way and have just had a long chat on the phone with recently bereaved friend.

Just a list of three this morning:
Paid work
Morning routine
Mission

Although I suspect I won't even get all that done...

SC Good to see you back, but so sorry to hear about the situation with your FIL; it must be very difficult for everyone. I'm afraid I had to laugh at your key situation as it's so familiar (I quite envy the friends who can unlock their door with their fingerprints); I hope your morning improves, anyway - sounds like one of those mornings when things can only get better!

Whisper Enjoy the toddler group!

Was interrupted by a phone call in the middle of my last post, so x-posted with a few people...

Toffee Your bikini bottom incident made me laugh too.

WhoKnows I've also just found my fitbit after losing it for six months - I left it at my parents' house in the summer - and really need to start doing some exercise again. Was walking up and down stairs while on the phone to my friend, which is a start I suppose!
Sympathies on the hair struggles; I have similar with DD1, who would never brush her hair if I didn't remind her, doesn't rinse properly when she washes and wants me to dry her hair for her but squeals in pain if I try to get the slightest tangle out. DD2 OTOH is slightly too obsessed with brushing her hair, trying out various different hairstyles, etc.

WhoKnows - do you use a detangling spray? Very helpful on my boys (especially DS1 as his hair is now as long as mine ).

Morning, Linzer!

Thanks Linzer and everyone! Hope your friend is bearing up.

The morning has got better already in that I have found my key (in my handbag all along!) and dd's key (under some Playmobil) so don't worry, I can escape if I need to Toffee (but thanks for reminder!!). And I have:

• fed rabbits and thoroughly washed their water bowl

-emptied dishwasher -filled dishwasher, set it off and shined sink -wiped down kitchen surfaces -put load of washing on.

That's a start isn't it?

Weak and wobby doesn't sound good Whoknows take care of yourself!! Do you find FitBit useful? (Is it worth getting? )- have ordinary pedometers

[passes cup of strong coffee to Whispers]

Enjoy stove liberation this evening Bless!!

Right, what next? There are so many things I dont want to do I can't decide between them ... . Tempted to escape to supermarket.

As you can tell, really not exactly on Flying straight and narrow atm

Morning Toffee! I should use detangling spray on DD1's hair more often (I often forget), particularly as I have quite a few different hair sprays to use up thanks to my Glossybox subscription (really must finish kondo-ing paperwork so that I can move on to cosmetics!).

SC Good news on the keys! Mine turned up in the cutlery drawer once...
I found my fitbit really encouraged me to walk a lot more when I first got it - it's particularly good if you're a competitive type and add equally competitive friends - but the novelty wore off after a while. However, I'm determined to get back into it again as I get so little exercise at the moment; I cycle to and from school most days (10 mins there and back) but it's not enough on its own.
Friend is doing OK thanks, but has a lot to cope with atm - she found out yesterday that her oldest (married) DD is pregnant (she has health problems that could affect the pregnancy) and said it's all too much to take in.

(I'm not really here; time for and then back to work)

I've just driven dd to school in the pouring rain
ds2 is having a bath
ds1 went off to school too

Whoknows dd went through a stage of putting her hair in plaits for bedtime so it needed less brushing? She uses a lot of detangling spray tbh!!! Constantly doing her hair. This morning it was straightened. Sometimes it is curly. Sometimes it is in elaborate bun.

SC it takes it out of you when they are so bad tempered. Would a walk help - just any walk? Sometimes then it is a relief to get in out of cold and damp to do some tidying - feels like a treat I mean rather than a monotonous trial.

Anyway I cannot talk as house has the yellowing teeth of a very old warhorse especially in the playroom - which will require a confrontation with dh to achieve anything. Atm we have no sofa in there as I got rid of the old one and replaced with temporary pop up bed. But now there is no comfortable place to watch telly. Basically the whole room is an impossible assortment of odd furniture hair shedding catsand far too many books. And yet it could be a really cool "sleek" teenage den/office/overnight guestroom. Will have to think about that next week when dh has got over his present work deadline.

Numero I on my motivational list is to go to the Fiction section of Mumsnet and write down some books I want to read this year.
Second is to actually send off the thank you notes ds2 has written
3 is to arrange for the chair seats in the kitchen to be recovered
4 is to send off my wretched parking permit

No list again today. It's just appointments and meetings and such, so no point, really.

My list for tomorrow and this weekend?? Scary!!

And I'll be gearing up to get back into the DIY stuff on the house again very very soon! (like next week soon!!) Scary stuff! You've been warned!

Today I was also considering enrolling ds2 in Forest School (just 3 hours a week) but tbh on a day like this I don't think either of us could face it as it is quite a long journey. January really is a bad month for any good ideas.

Oh dear, dh already back from some work related errand and I have done nothing!!!

Another one not on the straight and narrow of flying. For me the day will be spent in bed predominantly. I shall work on craft projects so they can be delivered to their new homes and thus decluttering mine. But I have no intention of doing even the basics today. I am chalking it up as my sunday renewal of spirit and is much needed after this week so far. Another one tackling the issue of late bedtimes. Hope you can get ds back on the sleep straight and narrow quickly Toffee and good luck with the trip to school later.

SC you are remembering that if you ignore the list and just focus on ONE thing then you will be less intimidated don't you. Pick the one area of the house that will make you feel best when it is done. Your bedroom? The rebooting of laundry? Just ONE thing, and set your timer for 15mins. If you can make yourself do that it will seem less intimidating and you will find you have more motivation and feel better than if you just go into hiding.

To do list for Thursday
Baby blanket present
end fastening of blocks
make up missing squares
write card

Before I start I am going to sort my list for tomo:
Ring hospital to put in complaint
Ring different hospital and book ds in for his bloods
Fold laundry
Ironing
Block up squares
End fastening
Pick up a new pair of headphones for ds so i don't fecking have to listen to minecraft videos
Fill in work paperwork
Send out whole heap of important emails
start clear out yahoo email account with intent of closing the compromised account down.

Morning all, seem to be doing intermittent flying (hopping?)

Done
Beds
Packed lunch
Laundry on
Dd to school
Dry laundry away

To do
Get laundry out of machine and start drying. It's almost nice enough outside to hang out, BUT I know it will rain if I do it.
Paperwork
Vacuuming (just quick flick round)
Crocheting -am in the mood, have made 3 hats in 2 days

Ta da
washing now in td
spent an hour tidying lounge/rehoming bits while dh took ds to hairdresser
coffee with ILs

ds is still at ILs so dh and I have had a relaxing lunch while waiting to head to hospital. Thanks for all the goodmwishes and will bbl to report!

Just running in quickly to say good luck to Engels for the appointment! I must be thinking about you as I dreamt I gave birth last night

Cervix is "favourable" so mw can break my waters at home tomorrow morning. If everything starts by itself then I can go to birth centre. One way or another, this baby will be here in the next 36 hours!

good luck!!!!

How exciting Engels

Ooh, how exciting!

Thank you for the suggestions re hair. she washes and conditions it diligently, and gets the tangle teaser through it when it's got conditioner on, but doesn't like sleeping with it plaited because "it's uncomfortable" and I sympathise a little, I much prefer sleeping with mine loose but do try and sleep with it in a donut bun to avoid too much tangliness in the morning (hers is straight, mines wavy/curly). She won't let me help with brushing and she faffs around so much in the morning there's never time to do it properly. She says she has a plan for tomorrow, if that doesn't work my plans (getting up earlier) commence on Monday. Oh and yes, we do use detangling spray. Lots of it.

As for the Fitbit, I bought it with Nectar points so it didn't cost anything. I do find it motivating to walk more - most days I need or have the opportunity to make several trips of half to one mile which it is all too tempting to drive for in the middle of winter, it does spur me on to walk instead, or go for extra walks at lunchtime etc.