Deck the halls (or the wine) as the Fledglings head into December.

[GoingGoingGoth]

Huge thanks to Blue for leading the thread throughout November (and to SC for such a copy and paste-able OP )

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and wine and cake along the way.

Flylady link is here

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Good morning all!

Eugh. Have just dropped off dd. It's horrible out there (icy wind). Made worse by returning to a house that is freeeeeezing cold and almost completely dark!

Had reasonably busy day yesterday "decluttering the office" which in reality meant that I did:
-a lot of tidying everywhere else in the house

• 3 loads of laundry,
• made some very nice vegetable soup
• made Mary Berry's dessert apple cake,
• and and dd's favourite corn and bacon fritters and salad for supper,
• decluttered one bag of dd's out-grown clothes and took them to the charity bin

-and also did some ironing .

Office is so bad I don't know how or where to start [sob] The floor is littered with boxes. The desk is littered with papers. Reasonably big space but very little room for maneouvre owing to all the years and years of layered crapola. In addition to papers going back years (some important but majority redundant - but all mixed up together) there is a load of other miscellaneous stuff in there too such as old party decorations, huge sheets of acrylic, art materials, old computer parts, old school files, sentimental stuff such as shells and dd's art work and cards, plus a wardrobe, old magazines, boxes and boxes full of I don't know what, my present cupboard, an almost totally empty filing cabinet, a chest of drawers... arrrgggh. Totally overwhelming and I should have started in September. (In fact make that September seven years ago!!)

I am going to avoid it again today (because school half day and am volunteering this morning) but will have to face it again tomorrow... no excuses.

Goth Sorry to hear you have succumbed to the dreaded bug again. I hope you make it through your day OK, and if running the thread is all too much atm then let us know and we can step in to help.

Engels sorry to hear that the communication between the pedagogue woman and the nursery and yourself was so poor and it was all sprung on you without warning, which must have been v. upsetting. But hope ultimately that the outcomes are helpful and good! Go steady today x

Toffee well done to you and your dh for tackling the cupboard of doom!

Good to hear the school are being supportive Bitchy

Argh, have run out of time for more personals, must get out the front door ... .

Big wave to everyone I've missed!

Thanks for you support ladies. I guess I just see the way he behaves as normal toddler behaviour, but perhaps it isn't. I suppose I just feel a bit judged as well that he isn't potty trained yet and can be difficult. And a bit miffed at poor communication - I wouldn't get away with that as a teacher.

Still, will go in with an open mind. Actually have no idea what she's going to say and have a meeting beforehand to do intake for new baby.

Going to try and take my mind off it with sorting out lounge, baby bits and Christmas stuff today. Have a rotten cold so staying inside and putting some (non-alcoholic) mulled wine on the hob!

x-post sc Have a good morning and good luck with the office - 15 minutes at a time!

Sometimes they don't like people to know in advance so that there can't be any accidental change in behaviour of the adults which masks the true story. They have to let the teacher know they are doing an assessment but the children are not supposed to know here. Ds' teacher has had paperwork for an assessment for ds but he doesn't know it is going to happen really and tbh i hope it stays that way as he does modify his behaviour i he knows he is being watched, mind you so do I. No one wants to be seen to not be handling things in the best manner possible.

Ds at school only 5mins late this morning but no shouting or yelling other than the normal will you just put your clothes on kinda stuff you need to do with a lot of 9 yo.

I have a load of crafty type stuff that HAS to be done today so that is the plan.

Don't worry about the potty training, Engels. Ds1 was 3.1 before he started (and then sorted himself out in a week). DS2 was just under 3 but was hopeless about poos for ages afterwards. It'll get there in the end. Hope the meeting goes well, anyway.

So far today I have:
Hoovered downstairs including moving furniture and doing underneath!
Sorted three bags of clothes for the charity shop
Done some work
Sorted tons of laundry
Stripped beds
Washed bedding
One lot of laundry dry
DS1's duvet in the tumble drier. Again. Sigh.

To do:
Swimming
Work
Post office
Appointment
More laundry to put away
Tidy and hoover upstairs
Bags to charity shop

SC thanks but I should be ok for thread as I'm doing bugger all. Cancelled dentist and receptionist was lovely, but then they really don't want it.

Am going to miss funeral, it was our neighbour who fell the other week. He's been in a care home for the past month, and we've been expecting it, but hoped he would pick up. He's was 92 and getting very frail. He may have lasted longer if he'd gone ino a home sooner but he wanted his independence. It does seem strange not waving to him whenever we leave the house, we will miss him. It's the first death that Dd has experienced as my Nanna died when she was only 1.

Engles lack of potty training at 3 is not a big thing, DD was still having 'accidents' at 7. Part of the issue with her was she'd be too busy doing something else and wouldn't want an interruption. Looking back I used to get so stressed over it. It was all I seemed to talk and think about.

Good luck with everyone's Flying, I'm going to tackle the paperwork (I may be some time)

Ill again

Aims for today:
Laundry x3 (uniform, whites, regular)
Antiprocrastinate - various emails to respond to
Book meerkats

Looks like a power of 3 day!

Engels - a very wish woman once said to me about potty training:

Start at 2, trained by 3
Start at 3, trained at 3

Took a lot of pressure off.

So far today I have:

• Put load of washing on
• taken DS to orthodontist to get his brace checked as he broke it yesterday at school 40 mile round trip!
• Hung washing out
• Made Christmas cake before fruit soaking in alcohol for many several days started to ferment
• Emptied compost stuff
• Swept shower-room floor after someone knocked plant over, put it back but didn't clean up the mess - there will be an interrogation later

Now need to:

• Scan a photo and a letter
• Emails and phone calls re setting up a local parkrun
• Sort photos for Christmas cards

Power of 3 definitely the way to go fuzzpig

Hope all the poorly ones are feeling better, or at least able to curl up and rest.

Sorry didn't get on MN yesterday or manage to get much done - DS thought 4am was a good time to start playing yesterday morning so I was pooped! Did minimal flying of shines sink, bed made & quick swish of sparkly bathroom (I ended up on my hands and knees scrubbing floor in there on Sunday eve as I was sick of the state of it!!).

Now my bathroom is clean and sparkly it's much easier to keep on top of it and it's motivating me to get into new habits of keeping on top of things when they are done!

Lots of busy bees on here, must try not to miss a day again as I can't keep up

Will post again later with my 'ta da'

Okay, so meeting went well. Seems like I was worried about nothing.

Apparently she was asked to support one of the group leaders by observing because this group leader found that DS was trying to get attention through negative behaviour - e.g. tantrums, refusing to do things - and she didn't know how to deal with it. The observation was organised by the big boss(es) who then didn't communicate this with the group leaders who then didn't know anything about it.

She said that she didn't see any of this negative behaviour when observing him (she observed on two different days) - perhaps he "knew she was there to watch him" at 3.1? - so we've agreed that if he does behave like this again the leaders can film him so that they can show her.

She asked me what strategies we used at home when he misbehaved and I told her he gets a warning, then he has to sit on the stairs and sometimes it will mean he's not allowed to do something nice. He does understand right from wrong and ta the end of a time out I'll ask him why he's sitting on the stairs and he understands it because he didn't listen to me or dh and he always says sorry. he's had a couple of massive massive tantrums, maybe once every 3-4 weeks when I do have to calm him down (playdoh-gate last month springs to mind!).

DS can be very lively and easily distracted but he needs firm boundaries and I think that this particular group leader is not as strict, or expects DS to behave like the rest of the kids in the group (who are perhaps quieter and more " biddable" ) when asked to do something. He just needs consistency. he's stubborn and strong willed just like DH.

She said the only thing she wanted to talk to me about was to hear if I recognised any negative behaviour and also to ask about potty training. have agreed to try again one more time before Christmas starting tomorrow. If it doesn't work out in the next 2 weeks I will stop and wait for the New Year (and the new baby!).

So I feel a bit relieved and also interested to see how potty training goes again - DH is home tomorrow as well so we can tag team

Ta da
Got maxi-cosi and pram out of storage
Managed to assemble pram all by myself with Dutch instructions
Made up pram
Sorted Christmas/Sinterklaas presents
Tidied crap in kitchen to make room for pram
meeting at nursery
washing up

Tomorrow
Potty training!
supermarket run (maybe without DH and DS)
sort out stuff in lounge/continue spring clean
weed front bed and clean front window
wash maxi-cosi blanket

If I need a break from DS (it is DH's daddy day after all) then I will retreat upstairs to wrap and label Christmas presents.

Alice !

Christmas hats!!! I was wondering what alice had said/done and thought I had missed some of her uber wit and enthusiasm and wondered why I couldn't find it.

Ds has almost finished tidying his room so I will find him his christmas tree at some point so it is ready to be put up. And some decorations too. Might even try to get him to write some christmas cards.

LINKS FOR THURSDAY 4th DECEMBER

Babystep 4 is to write post-it notes to remind you of your daily habits. I've never understood how an anti-clutter guru would want you to mess your house up with post-its!

Thursday is Errand day

This week we are in the Lounge, Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room
Thursday's mission is to remove sticky finger prints off walls.

The Launch Pad is here

Christmas Links

Holiday Control Journal

Christmas Mission 4 is to make any appointments/reservations/bookings required over the holidays.

Glad the meeting went well, Engels.

Ta Da!
Hoovered downstairs including moving furniture and doing underneath!
Sorted three bags of clothes for the charity shop
Work
Sorted tons of laundry
Stripped beds
Washed bedding
One lot of laundry dry
DS1's duvet in the tumble drier. Again. Sigh.
Swimming
Work
Post office
Appointment
More laundry put away
Tidy and hoover upstairs
Beds remade

Bags didn't get as far as the charity shop though. Will take them tomorrow.

Ta Da
Got up at 6:30am to treat DD's head lice
Cleaned sinks and loo
2 loads of washing washed, dried, ironed and put away
8:30am physiotherapy appointment - boo
Reheated cawl for a quick dinner before swimming and piano lessons
Made a batch of Carrot and Coriander soup for work lunches
Made some chocolate muffins as DS1's friend is coming home with him after school tomorrow
Peeled and chopped veg for tomorrow night's dinner
Tidied up and hoovered
Put another load of washing on to wash overnight

Very proud of DS1 as he got his music theory exam results tonight and he got a distinction

Glad the meeting went well Engels

Laundry x3 (uniform, whites, regular)
Antiprocrastinate - various emails to respond to sort of
Book meerkats nope

I shouldn't be here but I am...

done
drove dd to school
sent ds1 to school
finished reading Star of Kazan to ds2 and tried to point out to him the difference between melodrama and pathos
did Daniel, Babylon
handwriting
spelling/phonics

went to Home Ed meetup - lots of running around for ds2, another new face for me to chat to in the established "group"

freezing outside

Onto third day of diet which involves eating all the things in the Veg Box that no-one eats (today I had leeks with anchovies and for breakfast I had Kale with steak!)

exercise (bus trip and long walk)

groceries - conversely I am buying family members instant meals like ready made quiches just so that everyone thinks there is "something" in the fridge..

Beavers Helping - Nativity play

read new (for me) book on home edding which is the best book yet for resources...all about The classical education not meaning Latin and Greek but general method of education with "words" not images. Struck me that this is what your dd is getting SC so it was interesting to see it in a home ed book; although I fear if I pursued it I would have to go back to elementary level with ds2. It is interesting because I realise that what I am trying to do for ds2 at the moment is give him back his "classical" skills - those literacy skills he is so sadly lacking before we move onto the next stage where you have analyse and deduce things. And no-one put it in a book before!

Toffee ds2 is frightful when hungry and starts stealing things from the fridge. In fact all my children go beserk when hungry - dd is hungry and fussy a nasty combination. Ds1 has this pathetic way of saying I'm hungry Hungry can't you see? which coming from an enormous six footer is a bit ott.

SC I think the only way you can tackle it is to just take one bag of stuff out of the room at a time and see if some of it can be thrown away (in front of the telly) then put it back in the room unsorted. But at least the pile will reduce slowly. Or take all the easy stuff out - which you at least don't have to sort but has some logic to it like art work and put it in a bin bag labelled art work. This might give the illusion of order and then make the main task less gruelling to do in small steps.

Personally unless there is something important you need to find I wouldn't go in there until Spring. Life is too short.

Jemima well done on the theory exam - very brainy.

Well done to Jemima's DS1!

ta da

Fed cats, boys, myself
Quick crisis clean
Visit from lovely neighbour. DS2 served her his homemade biscuits and was an excellent host (social skills clearly not suffering in spite of being home educated )
Washing on
Washing up
Maths with DS2
DS1 meant to be attending medical appt, but was too anxious
Remained patient with him (this deserves a 'ta da' of its own)
DS1 managed a lesson with his LEA teacher
Lunch
Visit to dentist and hygienist - DS2 came with me and I'm counting it as educational because the hygienist explained all about plaque and tartar to him )
Playdate for DS2 fell through , but will happen tomorrow instead
Played 'City of Zombies' with DS2
Dinner
'The Apprentice' (first series I've watched and now I'm hooked)
Bedtimes, cats, washing up, wine, etc etc.

I'm very impressed by 'City of Zombies'. It's a really good game because it's not obviously educational. When we finished playing it together, DS2 continued to play it on his own and was therefore practising his mental maths without even noticing it. And it's helping me with my maths too.

Planning to take DS1 on a second visit to his prospective school tomorrow .

Today is a huge to da/ta da list kinda day. It is fuelled by coffee. feel free to ignore and skip the list, although i do expect there will be some bitchy special kinda ta da's today

Ta da
ply hunt the school uniform and swimming kit
despatch ds to school
Brew up a pot of proper coffee not the instant stuff
move sofa out of way into middle of lounge floor
finish craft project
parcel up
Sort out school trip letter
Collect all laundry in dining room
1st load of laundry on
Play check the wool colours in day light (well as much as is possible on this rather grey day)
Fish out decorations for ds later.
check emails and social media
leave feedback for amazon
5 mins decluttering in my room
construct shopping list

Right next job - contact the ex re the assessment. I hate these conversations they never end well. :(

Morning. Hope everyone surviving!

Engels so glad that the meeting turned out OK in the end! As I recall, dd wasn't completely potty trained when she went to nursery at 2.45 yrs and she definitely wasn't alone. Peer demonstration did the trick eventually I think! I'm no expert but all the other behaviours you describe sounds totally par for the course for a 3 yr old! Good luck with it all (and remember to take it steady and look after that rotten cold)!

Goth I hope you are feeling better today. I'm sorry for your loss. That's so about your neighbour but happy that he was able to be independent until the end x

Congrats to your talented ds Jemima!!

Toffee¨good luck to you and your ds1 with the school visit today! And well done wrt your long, productive list yesterday!

Well done re: your ta da list and decluttering Blue!

Hope you feel a bit stronger today Fuzzpig

Feetheart well done on getting your Christmas cake baked!!

Inadaydream congrats on your sparkly bathroom (and the scrubbing on hands and knees on a Sunday eve [wow] which obviously paid off!!)

Swan I'm still astounded by the variety of things you manage to tackle each day, and in such depth - and when dieting - which is a feat in itself!

Dd's 'education of words' is certainly being put to the test this week and next as we are deep in the midst of exam revision/season here. She has twelve exams in Fr and six in Nl between now and the 12th, most of which are one hour long, some in three parts. It has to be said that I am more overwhelmed at the prospect than she is, as they habituate them so thoroughly to it. Much demand for homemade cake, soothing words and early nights though (well Ive managed the cake.)

Big waves to everyone else!

A bit Christmas Grinch here. Does anyone else feel frankly exhausted at the mental effort necessary to prepare for Christmas (as opposed to the actual prep ifyswim)? I'm not sure that I have any to summon this year. (I usually find procrastinating until as late as possible (admittedly a bit of a stressful strategy!) gives me the urge to prepare but the 'urge' seems to arrive later and later each year!). Maybe I will feel better after the arrive of St Nicolas this Saturday which always forces me to sort out which presents and which stocking fillers are for which day... .

Perhaps Grinch-mood is because the home office is unavoidable today (thank you for your advice Swan and Engels for which I am grateful and have duly noted! Will definitely try 15 mins at a time and go for improvement rather than resolution before Christmas, and start on annihilating all the paper clutter properly in the spring )

Although, hang on, hang on .... Thurs is errand day isn't it? [SC grabs coat and handbag and heads for the hills... ]

Argh, forgot .. [runs back to say] good luck with your list Bitchy! [runs away again]