Deck the halls (or the wine) as the Fledglings head into December.

[GoingGoingGoth]

Huge thanks to Blue for leading the thread throughout November (and to SC for such a copy and paste-able OP )

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and wine and cake along the way.

Flylady link is here

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

It get easier when they stop being a toddler. and i just just very detailed lists Hang in there Greymalkin

Ds is refusing and procrastinating about school. I actually slept last night and just want to pull the covers over my head and pretend the world didn't exist. But there are letters to write and meetings to request. So first job is a vat of bitchy special brew.

Hope DS is okay bitchy

grey with a toddler normally I only get done a wash, a hoover of lounge, empty bins and a trip out either to playground or supermarket. yesterday I did virtually nothing!

Today am on a mission to get house sorted for baby and Christmas. Toddler is at nursery, have had a bacon roll from my UK freezer stash and now trying to not get distracted by the internet.

Ta da
wash on (mat for playpen which will go up later)
internet banking

Next on list...
Wrap/address overseas parcels
hospital bag
little bit of sorting in baby room

Ditto what Bitchy said Greymalkin It's so hard to get anything done with little 'uns around ... particularly when you are sleep deprived ... those early starts must be a killer!

It starts getting considerably easier after the age of 6yrs. Even easier at 11yrs. It's quite a suprise one day when suddenly you realise they are looking after their own hygiene (in theory anyway!) dressing and even hwk to a degree (although we have good and bad days - in a good phase this week!). Much easier all around with only one child though.

at the spitting! What is the world coming to? No wonder you were furious.

And I'm with you re: the messy dh. Was in fact contemplating now whilst peeling carrots (soup currently on the go) how much calmer and easier it is to keep things organised when he is away travelling, although I always moan when he goes .

Btw, sorry I was so slow re: your name change. Couldn't think of any caffeinated drinks except for ones in red tins!!

Right, soup done, laundry next ... .

Hope you got your ds to school ok in the end Bitchy although understandable that he is reluctant in the circs ... .

[does little jig of vicarious excitement at Engels packing of hospital bag]

Yesterday I managed:

recycling
two sets of sheets changed (boys did them)
laundry x 3 (again made boys do some)
cooked chilli tuna pasta bake with red kidney beans (dd refused to touch it, but it was delicious containing leeks and celery concealed in tomato sauce whizzed up before tuna added)
dh suffered terribly all day from a rootcanal under a crown (after a whole weekend of toothache)

we tried ds2 on Racing Demon (card game) after a very bad day trying to keep him away from the telly. Surprisingly fun I love that game. In fact I love all card games except Poker; wish I could remember how to play Turnabout Bridge.. Banned computer now in the day for foreseeable future as it makes it very difficult for him to focus on anything except next computer slot. However he did do: Reading Star of Kazan, French lesson, Maths (more HCF LCM revision) Handwriting, phonics/spelling and loads of housework (if a child appears bored chores are a good antidote!!!

It is just that there is still loads of free time and he is filling it with computer researching airlines - which I suspect makes him very badtempered and short of communication skills afterwards. So no screens unless it is with a family member watching a film etc. He also doesn't "get" dh being ill as is used to him being always available and chatty. (but that in itself is a good lesson that you cannot always be the centre of attention)

Ds1 finally went back to school still suffering from the after pangs of Britain's Got Talent audition failure and also quaking inwardly as he happened to miss a Saturday detention for calling someone "smurphy". His diary is littered with detentions

Engels and Castle waiting for a baby is actually a blissful time

oh dear Dh waking up now after having suffered the most terrible wakeful night and bad toothache.
Done
two kids to school
read with ds2

Sorry to hear of the incident with DS, Bitchy Hope school are helpful - they flipping well ought to be!

Yesterday was full of minor niggles and frustrations, and nothing quite worked out as I hoped. Here's hoping today will be better. I seem to have accidentally made myself Bitchy special instead of normal coffee so I may be a tad caffeine fuelled.

Ta da
hospital bag and bag for DS if he has to stay with MIL (they're our ndn but still would rather have bag packed so MIl doesn't have to go rooting through our house for things!)
overseas parcels wrapped and addressed
half an hour pottering in baby room - made bed, sorted last few boxes, checked water bottles
wash#2 on

Now going to pop into town to post parcels and for a leisurely wander and then do some lounge tidying/ironing while watching films that DH hates before he gets home!

My list for today:

Find essential forms for school (if not will have to ask at office tomorrow)
Book meerkat thing!
Wash other bra (yep I only have two! )
Hang it out
Gather other laundry to do tomorrow
Jacket spud for dinner
Homework with DS (just realised it was due yesterday :()
Start cobbling together a king outfit?! Thankfully I can reuse the cloak from last year but need a crown.
Reading with DD

ta da
deal with school
convince ds to accept school suggestions, and go into school
agree to home ed him on his return i must be mad
touch base with local PCSO
hoover downstairs and stairs
wash the rug
rinse the stupid chemicals that didn't do their job out for the lounge and hall carpet.

to do
rinse chemicals out of stairs carpet
collect ds from school
home school stuff with ds
finish craft project
take ds to Christmas fayre
finish off craft project that appears to have been abandoned
early night

This is the 4th flipping post I have written today as i keep hitting f5 and refreshing before I remember to C&P the post so i don't lose it I am going to put it down to being pre-occupied and accept it as one of those things.

Thanks Bitchy and SC, I know I won't always have a pit of a house and it will get easier as DS gets older. I find my own attitude half the problem, sometimes I can't be arsed to tidy or clean as I think what's the point? It'll get trashed and is unappreciated. But that's the start of a slippery slope...

Fuzz, I saw a great tutorial on Art Attack on the Disney Junior channel please don't judge me! on how to make a fantastic crown, maybe find it online?

Engles I remember packing all kinds of crazy stuff in my hospital bag, most of which never saw the light of day. I loved my natural sponge though as I could suck water from it as big gulps from a bottle if water made me sick

Waves to Blue and Swan

@ please don't judge me. There are also tutorials on Pinterest

I am fully expecting not to use half the stuff I pack grey since last time my labour was superquick, during the day and I arrived at the birth centre/hospital at 1pm, DS was born at 4pm, and I was home by 7pm - so didn't need pyjamas, dressing gown, snacks or toiletries. had a quick shower and then they sent me home - the Dutch way! Hope DC2 is as considerate at coming during the day (and was a weekend so DH was home when my contractions started at 9am).

Ta da
Wander round town getting bits for Christmas and baby
Bought this organiser for my wrapping supplies (though getting sent to parents in UK so won't have till January)
washing up
wash#2 dried and folded

Plan for tomorrow
supermarket
washing
change our bed
tidy lounge and kitchen
pack away buggy and get pram ready
get car seat out for new baby and blanket/head support is there
sort through Christmas stocking presents start wrapping
meeting at nursery

So, I had a phone call on Friday from a lady (a pedagogue - not sure what the best translation is into English. SENCO? But I think normally focused on social skills) who works at nursery who did an observation of DS and asked to meet to discuss it. I thought it was just the regular observation they do once a year (especially as I knew she'd been in the group last week and I didn't know she was a pedagogue) but turns out that she was specifically asked to observe DS because..well....I don't know.

DS's group leader was really apologetic about it when I picked him up today because she wasn't told that the other woman was there especially to observe DS (and had specifically told me last week that there had been someone in the group but she was not there only to observe DS - because no one had bothered telling her). Now I'm not sure what to expect Wishing DH was going to be there as well (which I would have made sure of if they'd communicated better about the observation) as it will all be in Dutch of course.

I have had discussions with his group leaders about him as he can a)have proper tantrums and refuse to cooperate, especially late afternoon when he's tired b) he's not always great at playing with others e.g. he'll tip a whole box of toys all over the floor and then get really distracted and c) he's still not potty trained and will hide in a corner when he poos then deny it. But not sure why this all warrants an observation and meeting. He's 3 FFS!

Actually 3yrs old is one of the best time to flag this sort of thing because if it is just quirky behaviour they will support him until his development comes into line with expected norms, if there is sn then they can make sure that he gets early interventions to ensure a smooth progression and as minimal impact of the issues as possible. I wish someone would have intervened at 3 for ds and perhaps he would have less pyschological damage from it not having done so and the social skills he is lacking to avoid getting himself into situations fights/being bullied at school. 7 is too late and at 9 it is started to get pointless. In short Engels I wouldn't worry about anything bad because whatever it is, it will be to ensure that your ds is as happy as possible and supported as best to his needs as possible. Am very impressed with the proactiveness of the dutch system. the english system doesn't give a shit about kids that struggle as it is too much money and effort. :(

Haven't read the whole thread, but jus wanted to say to Engels, I had a few niggles about DS and his behaviour from about 1 year old, but suspect I wouldn't have known where to turn for help if his nursery hadn't been pro-active in the way yours are when he was about 3, they got him extra help and into the support systems for when he started school, he would undoubtedly be worse off now if that had not happened, but it is hard when you get that call from them

Thanks ladies, I guess I was just a bit taken aback by it today and heavily pregnant hormonal . DS is definitely a handful and obviously they see more of how he interacts with other children.

It is a shock and even if you weren't pregnant it would still be a shock and have taken you back. Just sit safe in the knowledge that they are trying to do the best for your boy and he will still be your boy whatever they say. It just might be your boy who needs a bit of extra help. Deep breathes, something relaxing and we will be thinking about you and cheering you on with all strength and determination what ever you hear. We will be here if you need to come sob/decompress/just complain about unnecessary fuss or what ever. we will listen

Oh Engels, I can see why you are upset but it could be for the best. We had a few issues with DS2 and intervention by the SENCO led to him being diagnosed as dyspraxic and also put on the g&a register. What started off as him being seen as disruptive was actually frustration as his dyspraxia meant he couldn't get down on paper what was whizzing through his mind. Intervention made things much better in the long run.

Ta da
Washing washed, ironed and put away
Toilets and sinks cleaned
Dinner cooked (chicken and leek pie with mash and carrots), dishes washed and put away
Cawl prepared for tomorrow night's dinner
Lunch packed for tomorrow (last batch of soup, need to make more tomorrow night)
Music practice supervised - DS2 and DD are always enthusiastic about this on a Tuesday as they have county orchestra and wind band practice after school.

High point of the day - getting up early enough to make boiled eggs for breakfast, no mean feat when everyone leaves the house for work or school before 8am.

Low point of the day - remembering after DD had gone to bed that I noticed her scratching her head earlier and meant to check for head lice but forgot. Haven't got the heart to wake her up to do it, will have to get up extra early tomorrow.

Never mind, nobody's perfect...

LINKS FOR WEDNESDAY 3rd DECEMBER

Babystep 3 is check out the Flylady site. I only look when I'm thread leading but there is some good stuff under all the fluff and glittery shit. If you want to do it start from the Launch Pad

Wednesday is Anti procrastination day so do stuff you've been putting off ( I usually do paperwork)

This week we are in the Lounge, Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room
Wednesday's mission is dust the ceilings, light fixtures and window sills in the Dining Room and Entrance Way.
Using a feather duster or dust rag get the window sills, the light fixtures, the dusties in the corners and the ceiling fan if you have one (remember to put something underneath this to catch the falling debris, you can use an old pillow case slipping it over the blade so the dust stays in the case)

Christmas Links

Holiday Control Journal

Christmas Mission 3 is to clean & fling. Basically walk through the house with a small bag and bin anything that needs throwing out.

Turns out I posted Monday's mission again on Tuesday, it was to put away Thanksgiving linens and check bedding is ready for any Christmas guests.

Engles despite the shock of you not being told DS was being monitored it does sound good that they are proactively looking out for children that may need extra support.

Bitchy apologies if I've missed your post but how did DS get on today at school? Any more trouble from the other child?

I've not done much today as been waiting for a parcel to arrive, but have wrapped some presents and got a bag of hats dropped off at the gallery. Also got a commission to make some baby leg warmers!

Got the lurgy again this evening, had been so pleased that we've not had the d & v that's been going around. Well not any more. Feel quite human now thanks to copious tea from DH but am worried as tomorrow I have a dental appointment at 9:15, a funeral in the afternoon and running Woodcraft Folk session in the evening.

Engels I tried to get support and help for ds1 when he was 2 and 3, as there were obvious issues and got fobbed off regularly by the GPs are my surgery. (He now at age 8 has a statement, dx, and attends a specialised school) Early attention and support is elusive - grab it with both hands (even though I realise it's a bit of a shock!) and let them monitor/support him. Either he'll developmentally move past the need for it, or it'll be in place for him now instead of you having to fight for it later if needed. It's a good thing.

Ds was fine Goth School are dealing with the issue. But there are a lot of very stressed people as fall out. Hopefully it is sorted now and we can skip further issues. I am not holding my breathe but everything that could be done has been done. And that is all that can be asked.

I am a bit over protective about things like this and get a bit ranty

Engels - what Bitchy said . I'm sorry you had such a shock and are understandably upset, but I agree that it's better to get early intervention if your child needs any kind of help. I wish I'd had early intervention and understanding for my DS1, instead of having to put up with judgements on my parenting and a complete lack of any recognition of DS1's needs. When is your meeting with the woman who did the observation?

DH stayed at home today and decluttered our overflowing understairs' bathroom cupboard. Inspired by him, I sorted through several bags of old clothes and sent most of them to the dump, including the old skirts I was glad to see until I tried them on and couldn't get them over my hips . We now have a clean, empty cupboard .

Managed to fit in home ed around decluttering and mealtimes. DS2 wrote some more thank-you letters, did some work on EducationCity and worked on graphs in Maths. We played a new game called City of Zombies, which I bought specifically to help him with his Maths although when he asked me suspiciously if this was "educational" I denied it . (Interesting to see you are using games in home ed too, Swan).

Meant to study Boudicca's rebellion against the Romans, but didn't have time.

DS1 refused to visit his therapist, which infuriated me. He said he felt sick. I said if he was well enough to use the computer, he was well enough to see his therapist. Reminded him that anxiety makes him feel sick. Phoned his therapist, who agreed to come round to us instead. DS1 agreed to see her at home; after she'd gone, he told me he was hungry and I realised that his sickness was hunger, maybe exacerbated by anxiety. He was fine after a plate of pasta and tuna. Although I'd given him lunch, he's going through a growth spurt (I hope) and is eating more than usual. He often doesn't recognise hunger, which a friend told me is quite common in those with ASD. Don't know if that's true.

DS2 made biscuits whilst DS1 and I saw the therapist.

Horribly busy day tomorrow, although it starts well with a visit from a nice neighbour. Then lots of rushing around between appointments.

Have come to bed early, needing time on my own for once.

Just quickly updating my list as I can't sleep - must catch up with thread tomorrow along with lots of anti procrastinating stuff!

Find essential forms for school (if not will have to ask at office tomorrow) have set alarm to ask at office tomorrow as I couldn't find them
Book meerkat thing! tried but couldn't get through
Wash other bra (yep I only have two!)
Hang it out
Gather other laundry to do tomorrow
Jacket spud for dinner
Homework with DS (just realised it was due yesterday)
Start cobbling together a king outfit?! Thankfully I can reuse the cloak from last year but need a crown. didn't do - but will look up that crown thanks, can pick up bits tomorrow
Reading with DD