Mad Fledglings March through the Spring cleaning

[BitchytheGreat]

So here we are, March already.

So for those who don't know the fledglings is a long running thread. Some of us seem clicky but that is because we have been chatting on these threads for nearly half a decade makes everyone feel old we quite like fresh blood though so feel free to jump in and join us.

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new then trying to spend 15mins decluttering and the babysteps is the most. Some of us Bitchy can have scary looking lists. One word of advice ignore them. Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

Oh Toffee I'm so very very very sorry. Everything crossed here that September is possible. September is not that far away. What with all the holidays and stuff.

rubbish day so far, but we have achieved two things! Yay!

passports filled in, witnessed and signed, just have to take to Passport office (that will take a whole day of waiting in line to have them checked)
both the defunct laptops cleaned of viruses by dh's computer professional

ds2 is off school today, with a bad cold and a bad attitude . However I've managed him out of the house for a long walk to pharmacist for his toe and some groceries.

Dh is now attempting to install a camera for stop animation called HUE on the computer, and is being driven to despair by it. I TOLD HIM NOT TO DO IT TODAY, but this is causing a new meltdown from ds2. It was a birthday present from dh

Oh, we have HUE, Swan. It was a birthday present for DS2 from us. He loves making Lego animations on it.

Toffee I may ask you questions about how to make it work later then!
so far we have had some problem with the code...
dh has given up and gone to an auction

I've just had a nap on the sofa, to stop ds2 watching telly feel much better as a result..

SC please keep that honeymoon dress; I used to love looking at my mum's svelte clothes when I was a teenager, when she had already grown out of them. They were all Mary Quant However, having kept a lot of size 12 clothes myself, which were less exciting, just "good quality and expensive" think work clothes Whistles jackets etc, I kept them for ten years in the loft, only to find they all had moth, and actually were rather dull, and I still didn't fit in them. So I threw them away.

I think you sometimes have to accept that even if you get thinner, you might look different anyway, and want to wear different styles than you did in your thirties. It is hard to remember to enjoy the present and sometimes clothes can make one think the past was a better place.

I think DH set it up, but I can ask him anything you need to know, Swan. Good for you to have a nap - I had a nap whilst supposedly supporting DS1 with his online English lesson .

Peanut - thank you. I was so convinced it was all going to be ok.

Headteacher of the new school hasn't replied to my second email yet, so DH and I had a chat and decided we couldn't tell DS2 that he had to go back to the school where he's so unhappy. So we have agreed to home educate him until a place comes up at the new school, which is risky because they may never have a place. I suppose if they don't have a place by next September, we'll have to reapply for other mainstream schools.

Anyway, DS2 is now a very happy boy .

Will have to tell the residential home where I was going to volunteer that I can't help out there at the moment, which I'm dreading doing. But I just won't have the time.

Still working on the parental information stuff for the statement and, unfortunately, DS1 read some of it on my computer. I feel terrible that he read it, as it's mostly very negative, apart from the first bit, which asks you to say what's good about your child. We had a long chat about it and I explained why I was applying and why it had to be all about the negatives, not the positives. He says he understands - I do hope so.

La la la la la laaa.

"I think you sometimes have to accept that even if you get thinner, you might look different anyway, and want to wear different styles than you did in your thirties. It is hard to remember to enjoy the present and sometimes clothes can make one think the past was a better place." This is good advice. I hate it because it is soo true?

Agree Bitchy

-thank you¨Swan it is very good advice.

Will try and be even more ruthless and only keep very classic trousers in 'for when I am thin' bag. Hopefully can't go wrong with those. Hardly wear skirts nowadays anyway.

Swan what a stylish mother you have!!

Agree about throwing away work suits etc - had a purge a few years back - it is almost a kind of mourning for a former life ...

Actually, really need to purge a few items I kept back from last purge and haven't worn since.

Glad ds2 feeling happier Toffee

Hi everyone.

Everything plodding on.

Very good advice by Swan. I wear clothes very different to what I wore ten years ago. When I make the effort I think I look much nicer now. I have also started wearing a bit of make-up which I never used to. Just a bit of eyeliner and mascara but it makes a big difference to how I feel.

Getting rid of clothes that dont fit or dont suit you any more is actually quite cathartic but you do have to be in the right headspace to be able to do it.

oh dear serious ructions due to the fact that Dd had secretly downloaded the Hue software without telling us, thus using the code, and link which then expired...she has come back from school and reinstalled it, but we stil cannot make it work. Ds2 is now hysterical and dd is being shouty and rude. That girl should have been renamed Pandora..

toffee think how different your mornings are going to be from now on, no worrying about ironing school uniforms, no watching clock to do pick up, drop off. MIL will also enjoy seeing him at different times of day. And the best time of year for it. And school place will come when you are least expecting it.

Oh dear, Swan, I'm so sorry about the HUE drama. I did wonder why you were having trouble, as it was so easy to download, but didn't like to say! Is this any help (from the HUE website)?

Yes, mornings will be different. How lovely not to have a school run - particularly that very annoying 3.10 school run that breaks up the day. We will have to take DS2 into work in the mornings, but he'll love that, and he is actually a real help to us (he loves stamping all the parcels and weighing them - we call him our Chief Stamperer and Stickerer!).

And yes, what a lovely time of year to be off school. You are good at putting a positive spin on things, Swan .

Have had another long chat with DS1 about the parental statement. He has insisted I take a couple of things out, which I agreed to do. He says he's not angry with me and he's pleased that this statement may get him a computer to use at school. Maybe it has been good to have the conversation after all, even though it's not what I planned.

Life is a rollercoaster when you have children, isn't it?

And parents!! Went to pick up DM from the aiport. But she didn't tell me which terminal and then turned her phone of. Sent her a msg which she wont get given up and come home to sort a tearful and fragile ds. we have had to have a talk about his dad and few things that the fuckwit ex has done. so I am a ball of laughs tonight. not

Oh, Bitchy, how maddening. Will your DM make her own way to you? Sorry your DS is having a hard time coping with his dad.

Well turns out when she asked for the lift she wasn't even in the country she is going to make her own way home. how do you explain to a kid that their dad is an emotionally stunted twat? I have promised not to speak to his dad about it, he is calmer. I am in pain and heading to lie down. I wish the hospital would make up their mind as to wtf is going to happen. They just keep doing more tests.

It feels really really weird not being able to chat and catch up with people of fb. I don't like it :(

Any hows here are the links for tomo:

Anti-procrastination day cos it is wednesday.
(adds make dentist appointment to her list)

www.flylady.net/c/sp.php#missions

babystep 19

Evening,

Managed to get through the day. The minis had massive naps which doesn't bode well for this evening.

Ta Da's
Kitchen clean and tidy
Washing up done and away
Lounge tidied
Minis fed, watered x3
Minis bathed and in bed
Dogs walked

To Do
Too depressing to even list

Sorry so many of you are having a really tough time at the moment.

What a nightmare, Bitchy.

Definitely good advice re clothes, swan

Have failed spectacularly with healthy eating and not shouting, but did the mission and bedroom is looking much better.

Had to get someone to fix computer but he seems much more efficient than the last lot, so will hopefully get it back tomorrow... Fingers crossed!

for all in need.

Hello all. Been a GH hoverer for a while but never knew what the Fledglings thread was all about and at 300+ messages wasn't inclined to dig and find out!

Just saw it explained in another thread and really interested in this Flylady thing. How dies it all work? Do you all constantly zap to the last page of messages and scroll to the bottom? Where do the day's tasks get posted and how do you make sure you don't miss it in the avalanche of messages?

Hi Cookie - every month a different person starts the thread and they are responsible for posting the links - if you have your MN appearance set to New so you see the OP's posts in a different colour it makes it easier to keep track. Ideally you need to check the thread once a day for the links, it's a busy thread so it tends to stay fairly near the top of threads I'm on. You don't need to post every day, some do, some pop in and out.

Flylady has several main features. First the babysteps, little habits to improve your life, one for each day of the month, some of them are really good and some are bonkers. They come round again each month so you don't have to tackle all of them straight away.

Then there's the zones, the house is divided into 5 areas and they are the focus of efforts for a week each month (a bit less for zones 1 and 5 depending on the day the month changes). There is a daily mission in that week's zone, a short task that needs doing once in a while, plus decluttering in that zone. Once your house is properly decluttered you move onto detailed zone cleaning. There are also a few daily focus things, such as errand day, and family fun day. Go to the Flylady website, find the launchpad and have a good read of the links, it will give you more of an idea.

Been a bit of an odd day with not a lot of flying in it!

DD went to school dosed up on Calpol and clutching strepsils. I popped back at lunch to top her up and she certainly doesn't seem any worse tonight. They are running the Sports Relief mile at school tomorrow but I have told her to just see how she feels and we will miss swimming too as she has the Swimathon on Friday that she wants to be better for.

I tripped over her tablet cable last night and now the dang thing won't charge! Cue trip to Currys and as they were as useful as a chocolate teapot went to Carphone Warehouse. The young man there said it seemed to be charging using his cable so flogged us a new one (£17 gulp), but back home its not working so now I think it will need to be sent off to see if I have bent the connectors inside :(

On a plus note, I entered a competition run by a local firm who were offering apple trees as a prize and I nominated the school as a recipient (as DD is on their Eco Committee) - and we won one :) We went to collect it straight after school and tomorrow they are going to discuss where in their veg garden to plant it.

Ta Da

• Unsuccessful trip to town
• Emptied D/W
• Washing load in and hung to dry
• DD to and from Brownies
• Washed pots and shined sink

Toffee - so sorry that you DS is going to have to wait for a place at the new school. I can imagine that although home schooling may have its own challenges at least you have the knowledge that he will be happier in himself overall.

Morning all :)

Toffee - I think you have done exactly the right thing for DS2 and I'm sure home schooling him will be a very different experience. If you need any idea of what Yr3 boys are doing at school in other parts of the country just ask and I'll see what information I can extract :)

Welcome CookieTramp - Whoknows has given such a good intro that I won't bore you with much more. The system does work if you actually follow it and don't chat all the time but the cutesy language can be a tad vomit-inducing off-putting at times. Just take it slowly so you don't burn out and adapt it to suit your lifestyle.

I'm going to attempt a quick round up but apologise in advance if I miss anyone out - RL is a bit mad so it has been hard to keep up as usual.

Morning all,

Welcome cookie,

It seems too early to be up. Halfway through morning routine. Then school run and work...

Toffee I hope it's ok for me to comment, but dc’s objecting to contents of parental views statement is a quietly known assessment pitfall, but it’s very hard to get prior info that wasn’t included at the beginning and isn’t a new development, considered in the statement/ renewal process later. (when impact may have become more serious) LA’s often fight it vigorously and use it to suggest FI.

Be careful of letting ds dictate what goes into your parental views statement or not, because it’s very often the most painful and embarrassing things to them, that really do need to be acknowledged and evidenced by parent. Others will play them down too, but it's not in the childs longer term interests to not include all problems, this is a one of important doc and opportunity.
I'd change the wording if need be, so it’s mentioned or alluded to, in a way he doesn’t see as offensive.

As he gets older you may find yourself needing to write some very painful and difficult things, including when he’s legally an adult, and even more sensitive over them than now, and you’re trying to help him gain what ‘s taken for granted but is new territory for some levels of SEN difficulties. (Quality FE and Uni in particular) That’s when having an established system that mum does what’s needed and you don’t get to worry about some of it, becomes really important both practically, and to their emotional welfare.

Our deal with all this is to guarantee a say in the finalised wording of any actual SEN statement (which gets seen by many, while the parental views statement is only seen by a few) as that’s a ‘public’ document, and or get him to put together his own views and attach them to yours if you wish/need to give him some control, (he will later be being asked for his views) but your ‘parental views’ for application is a ‘private’ document, seen only by panel (and court if need be) and tbh agreeing to remove what upsets him about what you see from a parental views statement is a precedent likely to bite you on the bum later.

Obviously you must do whatever works for you and yours, I just feel obliged to say think carefully, what probably feels like a 'personal one of' is a known pitfall issue with repercussions.

Arghh! 'personal one off ' , (I hope it all reads the way it was intended, I just knocked it out and am slightly worried about how it comes over, so if it's over blunt please forgive me. )