The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

[Solo]

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.
Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.
I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? :)

[Solo]

You have done something nickel ...more than me for sure!

[Busyoldfool]

I managed to get rid of some wood that I have been keeping for 10 years, ( "just in case I need it"). Hated doing it - and there was other stuff that should have gone but didn't - but a little at a time.
Glad this thread is here - it has helped me. (and thankful it is anonymous as I am so ashamed of my need to hoard). Thanks for starting it Solo

[Tommetipsy]

Hello lovelies, just checking in.

Have been forced to clear the spare doom as my sister is staying with us for 4 weeks from tomorrow. Her flat has been sold and the buyers needed in early and she saved the sale basically by moving in with us. Bless her she has agreed to help me with childcare so I will get a bit of time to tidy/ clear out. I've been going up to bed 20 mins earlier so can put away clean washing. DH has been cleaning the kitchen while I do this. We're having to be much tidier as we have found out we have mice. Personally I blame the manky students next door...

I read somewhere on here that drawers/ cupboards should be 80% full so am trying to work towards this. DH's paperwork drawers are still ram jammed though...

[Solo]

Glad it's helping! It will be helping me further tomorrow I hope ~ and Friday...and next week. I hope to have a less demanding week and I really 'Must do better!!'

80% full?! that can't be right! I only have 2 kitchen drawers (in the kitchen) and I guess one is ok, but the other...! ahem!!

I went through a bedroom drawer last year and I'm proud to say that I did throw away some old make up. Kept lots too though...but a little at a time eh?!

[Solo]

Not doing well here. Not feeling so well atm.

[MN216]

Hello hoarders/declutterers. With the help of some lovely MNetters who were willing to be guinea pigs last year, I finally got my long-held dream of launching a decluttering business off the ground. Has been ticking along for a while but I need some more guinea pigs to help me work out how best to develop it and the services I offer. Am therefore genuinely offering any of you living within an hour or so of Watford a free 3 hour session, in return for some honest feedback on the service provided. Can provide references if necessary and hope that posting this does not constitute an advert (it didn't last year when i posted a similar offer) - please report if you think it does and I will slink away with a red face. PM me if you think you might be interested.

[Solo]

Hi MN216 :) good for you! I could do this too. I can get stuck in for other people, it's just sorting my own out that I find difficult :(

I'm afraid that personally, my shame would not allow me to accept your very generous offer. Unfortunate for you as I am about an hour from Watford!!

[nickelbabe]

I haven't had a chance. I'm feeling a bit depressed about it, because I've (we've) done the most obviulous easy stuff and it's bits and day-to-day crap that's there, lying and taunting.
:(

I have had to move stock boxes away from the wall because the recent heavy rain has made it damp. which makes it look more messy.

I bought some new things today - a clothes rail and a few boxes, but they're for when I take my sewing to market.
and now I realise that I've got to sew a few more things before I'm ready for it.
but I haven't tidied.
and the clothes I sorted out the other week are still sitting in their bags waiting to go to charity.

[nickelbabe]

mn216. I don't care if it's an advert.
I am in kent, so don't know if I qualify, but I think tgat it's very much state of mind.
I want to make space and I want to get rid of crap, but I am worried that I would be "forced" into getting rid of my important stuff
if you also included ways of making good use of important stuff (eg helping to display family photos, or storing stuff properly) then I might be ready.

[Solo]

Nickel tell me about your sewing and market thing please. I, when I'm in a better place (read 'sorted out') want to sew and sell, but not sure exactly where to start.

[nickelbabe]

whennthe bookshop was in its last days, I was trying to think of ways I could get some money.
i love sewing and am.rather good, making dd some clothes etc. I love cloth nappies, so had a go at them and cloth sanitary towels because it made sense.
so I thought about making and selling them.
I now have a core "range" of shirred bodice dresses, toddler trousers, nappies, nappy wraps (I am selling totsbots and lollipop nappies too), kids' hats and sanitary towels.
so I've been spending lots of time making stuff (and experimenting with patterns and designs/methods)
and accidentally buying new fabric

[nickelbabe]

regards selllling it - I set up a website and a fb page and enlisted 5 people to receive free garments in exchange for honest feedback.
I also displayed stuff in my bookshop and put a listing on nethuns - I got an invitation to sell at a children's centre event through that
and I googled "craft markets" and "baby markets"

I'm restricted in that I can't do Sunday and a lot of them are on Sundays (this one in feb is, but it's about 500yds from home so got to do it!)

[nickelbabe]

re: decluttering.


dh has a week off in March, so we've discussed taking a couple of days of it, emptying the loft, finish boarding it out, put some short bookcases in and then put the necessary stuff back, on the shelves nice and tidy.

[Solo]

Hmmmm..interesting! I make things too. Sewing, knitting etc. I have a large stash of fabrics and lots of patterns from 1980's magazines. Actually, I have all the mags too! I'd like to do craft fairs. But! I can't do anything until I've sorted my house out!

Rather envious that you can put bookshelves in your loft! I can hardly stand upright in most of mine!

[Rummikub]

I used to have lots of mags with patterns too. I kept them for years before finally deciding they had to go.

Think I am going to tackle my paper clutter first. I keep losing important things.

Does anyone have any good suggestions? I dont have the space for a filing cabinet.

80pc full drawers?? Gosh, mine are over flowing!

[Busyoldfool]

Hi Everyone - just checking in.
I did quite well last week but am back to square one this week.
I did go to the tip but it was a drop in the ocean and I still have piles and boxes everywhere.

It is partly physical. I need someone to pack boxes for me and take them away. But the emotional stuff is a huge factor as is the organizational aspect. Everyone's circumstances are different and everyone's reasons for their clutter are different. Clutter is a symptom of a range of other problems and unless they are solved the clutter won't be either. But, in a typical vicious circle, the clutter is the thing that prevents the solving of any of these other deeper issues. Or at least that's how I feel.

[Busyoldfool]

PS, Nickelbabe, I think you make a good point about being forced into getting rid of stuff. Anyone who looks at my heaps and says that I should "just get rid of all this junk" is in effect saying that my life/achievements/values/things I love are worthless.

Often it also means that they are telling me that my hopes, (of a revival in my career/new home/ slimmer figure/return to whatever), are dashed. Any decluttering has to be about the positive and a positive use of stuff is part of that.

[nickelbabe]

the bookshelves are only 1mtr high ones.

busy you've hit the nail on the head

[Solo]

Busy your last two posts are bloody spot on.

Got to sort this mess out!

Nickel I would waste so much space by using metre high shelving.

I have to empty my loft and all the rooms in order to get the rewiring done.

[nickelbabe]

ah, well, ours isn't fully boarded out, so the shelving would be further back than the current boarding.

Well, we've discovered a new way of decluttering. Can't decide where that lovely anglepoise fluorescent tube lamp should go? Stick it up in the loft, then, when you need to get the spare (thankfully not yet thrown out) baby car seat out, you can just accidentally throw it to the ground, smashing it in such a way that renders it useless. Now all that can be done is throwing it!
(DD had been using it as a toy, and it was getting sooooo annoying how she would drag it round the bloody house looking for plug sockets to plug it into, that we decided it should go in the loft out of her sight)

[Solo]

[Solo]

this is just. not. happening!!!

[nickelbabe]

it gets w

[Solo]

w?

[nickelbabe]

ffs crappy tablet!

it getscworse though.

dd's blood test results came yesterday and one of the things she might possibly be allergic to is dust mites.

as if the whole decluttering thing isn't hard enough as it is, we've got to worry about dust mites! I can't even access most of the places that are likely to have mites, and I can't tidy enough (especially places dd is!) to be able to Hoover properly.

oh, and dd gets freaked out when the Hoover is fetched, never mind switched on!