Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

955 replies

Solo · 28/12/2013 17:54

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.

Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.

I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? :)

OP posts:
cikecaka · 01/12/2014 11:51

Soup on
Wash on
Dishwasher unloaded and reloaded
Tidied hall

TO DO
Clean sides
Sweep floor
Peel spuds

Solo · 01/12/2014 12:41

Now who is flying?! Grin I've been sorting out my Dart Tag...done nothing else yet.

Ok, I'm going now...

OP posts:
whataboutbob · 01/12/2014 13:42

Solo just read your first post and find it so well judged. I am not a hoarder but my Dad is. Now he has dementia. His home and 2 garages are full to the rafters of junk (to me- important possessions to him). Prior to the dementia taking hold I tried talking to him and even wrote him a letter, none of which made any difference. Probably the only silver lining to his dementia is I have been able to remove stuff from his home without him going bananas/ fishing it out of bins. We're talking payslips form the 1960s, 5 year old copies of the Metro, adaptor plugs (UK/US), out of date meds, broken light bulbs etc etc. I am also convinced that repeated losses and breavement can be a trigger for hoarding. It's a way of saying no to the transience of things and maybe even a weird loyalty to the departed. Thanks for getting this converstation started.

Solo · 02/12/2014 01:06

Hi whataboutbob :) I'm glad you feel I got it right; I am going by my own experience there, but it might not be everyones reason.
So sorry your Dad has dementia :( but yes, it's good that you can go through some of his possessions without him objecting. Sad though.
You are very welcome here anyway, so let us know how you go with him and come for support/to rant etc, as you are bound to need to at some point!

I have done most of the shelves of clothes in one wardrobe and have even culled it a bit more! (get me!!). The shelves look so neat and tidy! it's a miracle!! more tomorrow!

OP posts:
Babieseverywhere · 02/12/2014 22:09

You are doing so well Solo :)

I am doing basic stuff around the house, going down with a cold, have a non sleeping child in the house (yawn).

But on the good side, I have tomorrow's tea marinating in the fridge, weekly food shop will be delivered tomorrow and my Christmas present from my parents should arrive tomorrow too ! (Shelves for bathroom)

Solo · 02/12/2014 23:13

Hi Babies!! :) you sound well organised there! and well done at getting your bathroom storage as a Christmas present! genius! Grin

Well, today I have continued on with the clothes folding in the wardrobes and I can't believe how much space I have saved using the Flip Fold! I do, seem to have lots of clothes that don't all fit even though I've been very good at getting rid! I already have another bag full of bits to go.
I'm just going through my chests of drawers now, folding and flipping to get them onto my wardrobe shelf.

Found out that I can't get my wood burner before Christmas now, but I will be getting it soon after I think!

Two bookcases and set of Encyclopaedias....GONE! I can now reclaim my porch. I feel so good about it.

OP posts:
TheFirstSolo · 04/12/2014 00:14

Well, I'm almost there! can't believe how long it's taken to sort out my clothing though! the good bit is that I have managed to get all my clothes into just the wardrobes. The bad bit is that I'm actually going to lose almost a whole wardrobe when I move into the other room. I currently have three which covers just a bit under 3 metre's. It's going to be only 2 metre's and I'm probably going to have to buy new wardrobes too...I planned on using the Shreiber carcasses and putting sliding doors up in front, but size wise, it won't work, so Ikea Pax will have to do and they are not as strong as the Shreiber. Do you think cream coloured sliding doors will look OK when the rest of the furniture is solid oak?

cikecaka · 04/12/2014 11:04

Hi Ladies, I have finally managed to clean behind the couch! Have decluttered sitting room! Grin

Now to put clothes away!
Wash on!

Babieseverywhere · 04/12/2014 14:01

Bathroom storage is ace...everything off the floor. Just need cupboard finishing and ceiling cladded, which are both DH jobs.

TheFirstSolo · 04/12/2014 23:47

Brilliant! both of you!! Grin

Nothing from me today as I was at a 3 course lunch

Babieseverywhere · 08/12/2014 13:20

I am still under the weather....so currently teaching myself to crochet...useful I know, lol.

Luckily DH is home later in the week, so an easier week than normal for me. Aka house will look like a bombsite but I will be more chilled out.

How are things going with everyone else ?

samesizetoes · 08/12/2014 13:41

Afternoon everyone, I'm joining you with the clear-up. Our 'front' room is more of an entrance way junk room piling up with crap as everything seems to be dumped there and never makes it any further.

We've got the bikes in there, my sewing machine and its gubbins on the desk, bags of fabric, the chair next to the desk has about 14 coats piled onto it, DH's old cds and dvds that he won't throw out but never uses, shoes, empty boxes where the tools are suppose to live and other random junk. Its a battle to get in and out of the house especially getting the bikes in an out which is almost every day as its our only mode of transport and It's getting on my nerves.

First job is getting rid of those dvds and cds and putting all the tools away. Then possibly looking into some sort of shoe rack so I'm not tripping over the damn things.

Babieseverywhere · 08/12/2014 14:06

Welcome samesizetoes :)

Sounds like you have the place to start and a good plan. Let us know where you get up too. Good luck with the shoe mountain !

TheFirstSolo · 09/12/2014 01:10

Welcome sst :) get stuck in I say!and to the thread also!!

I have done nothing for days now as other things have got in my way. Tomorrow though, I am going to dig in some more.

Babies hope you feel better soon :)

Babieseverywhere · 10/12/2014 10:00

Feeling better....I have three minutes faffing tine left and I begin "operation clear up after illness"

To be followed by "couple of easy days as DH is home off work, yeah" with one "going on a belated birthday treat to the cinema" as I spent my actual birthday bring thrown up on by the kids.

TheFirstSolo · 10/12/2014 10:05

Pleased to hear it Babies :) I too am about to stop faffing and get on with it. I spent yesterday helping a friend who is ill, so nothing got done!
Enjoy your day :)

Babieseverywhere · 10/12/2014 16:03

Found most of the house...just need to get laundry done, meh. Will wait for another day. Grin

TheFirstSolo · 11/12/2014 01:15

I was sick of the new and unopened bottles of Surf and Comfort on the kitchen floor and nowhere to put them. I buy them when on offer as I think I'm terrified that when I need some, I won't have the money...so I guess I hoard them too :(...sooooooo. I decided to go through the cupboard under the sink, thinking I could probably be ruthless and get rid of a load of stuff, but no. I tidied it up and I've managed to get the new stuff into the cupboard, but the only thing I wanted to get rid of is a can of Mr Muscle oven cleaner; I can't stand the fumes from it.

I cleaned the sink several times with various things, but it still looks a rotten colour. It's 20 years old and just won't lose the discolouration, so it's clean, but not white.

Did a wash load. Unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher.

TheFirstSolo · 11/12/2014 23:12

Today:
Had the clutch checked on my car. Needs replacing but not imminently .
Took a load of boxes down to storage.
Got rid of another bag of clothing to C4C.
Did a dishwasher load and dried the washing (bedding) from yesterday in the tumble; it's too big to dry on an airer.
Roasted a chicken for tea.
Changed the delivery date for my new bed. Got until the end of January.

TheFirstSolo · 14/12/2014 12:30

How are you all doing?

My tumble dryer is making some very grindy noises now :( and I am very upset. It is 30 years old and of course it is of sentimental value to me and I'm emotionally attached to it as my Dad, Mum and Brother bought it for me during the first winter I was married; no central heating and had terrible trouble getting washing dry... I am going to take the cover off and see if there's anything obvious that I can rectify/mend. Not today though...

I have been to Mass this morning.

Not much will get done now before Tuesday.

Babieseverywhere · 14/12/2014 16:22

Short version I thought I was doing very well the last fews weeks but DH doesn't Sad I feel very sad and a failure Desperately trying to get a positive attitude but not doing it atm.

Just have to feed and bath the kids...everything ready for school tomorrow.Smile

TheFirstSolo · 15/12/2014 00:56

Babies! don't let your Dh get you down. You know you have been very busy and you've been very positive; Dh does not appreciate the efforts and energy it has taken for you to have done all the extras you have done and are still doing, besides looking after the stuff that has to be done on a daily basis. Men eh?!!! Wink.
Keep going! you are doing wonderfully well.

cikecaka · 16/12/2014 10:26

Good Morning! Been ill and busy so need to get back on track!

Sitting needs a good clean!
Washing
Put in chicken

Sitting room
Clean mantle
Wash fireplace
Clear out fire
Set fire
Dust TV stand
Hoover
Find hammer to put up wedding photo

cikecaka · 16/12/2014 12:14

Sitting room done, just need to dust TV and hang up picture
Need to peel veg

TheFirstSolo · 16/12/2014 17:00

Hi cike hope you are ok now?!

I've been through some of the back bedroom today, getting rid of video's and sorting through lego/k'nex etc. Also collected some more wood for my eventual wood burner.

Off to do dinner now.