The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

[Solo]

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.

Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.

I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? :)

DD3 is bring slow to talk and not very social.

DS is not very social and I struggle to get him to school.

DD1 and DD2 are happy children.

We will get there in the end :)

That's my mantra babies, we will get there! What age is DS, school refusal is terribly stressful

DS is 6 yo and in year 2...he has struggled at school socially since reception. I have accepted the dome children are miserable at school and there isn't anything I can do...just hope he outgrows it.

Luckily he is a sweetie at home sometimes

Babies it will get better x My friends DS was a school refuser, hated it, cried a lot etc until he found a really good 'best mate' who is very similar to him and all of a sudden he couldn't get out the door early enough! Another one really didn't settle until he went to the juniors and overnight he was a different lad. No one can quite work out why, it's all the same kids, same grounds, the work wasn't vastly different?? Fingers crossed your DS gets his 'moment' sooner rather than later x

Cike - I think all McD toys should turn to dust after a year!

Thanks Chipping I hope it changes soon too. He is a wonderful and yet unhappy child.

Right today is attack our bedroom day..I have been putting it off as I have nowhere for stuff to go from there except out !

It's very, very hard when they're sad. I used to take one of them to nursery then school as often as I could for her, because it was just so awful for her. It was very difficult, but as I said, he got a little mate & changed overnight. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you & DS x

Good luck with the bedroom! We'll send the troops in if you don't come out for school pick up!

I'm upstairs too right now! done lots and yet nowt!!

I am so lazy! Can't get motivated to do anything! Have DD2s parents evening, and get myself off the couch

cant get myself off the couch!

I piled things in our room. So I now have....

1. Paperwork pile...mainly to be chucked...Some to photograph and then chuck, some to keep.

1. Sheets and curtains. All cleaned, dried and ironed just need a place to be stored or be chucked.

1. Craft stuff to come down stairs with the rest of it

1. Books to be tidied and organised on three book shelves.

1. Sleeping bags and pillows from camping need a home. Again clean and dry. Just need somewhere to be stored.

1. Two bags of small things ...will be last job as it will take forever too sort.

So not much done but I have a plan, might start on paperwork tonight.

Also did general daily cleaning and stripped and remade all the beds.

Plus my DF and DM came over and fitted the new downstairs blinds and they are wonderful, clean and bright. Make a big difference to the dining room :)

Sounds as if you had a productive day babies
I had a great parents evening DD2 is doing fantastic, sometimes I wonder is she mine!!!

Solo. That's so annoying when you've done loads but it doesn't look like much!! Still, just think, it's done now, you won't have to do it again!! Did DS go to your mums?

Babies. That's loads! Well done, just keep them all away from you piles!

Cike. That's great news! 15 & doing well is great news.

I'm at work still. New vax arrived today. MN making me spend money! Bogeyface posted a link to a discount code and I was tempted by the cordless vax, fed up of getting tangled in the hose and lead of Henry. Though he's fab, he'll definitely be staying for the heavy jobs & deep cleaning! I'm hoping it'll be much easier to wiz around with! Sorry though, I should have posted the link here, I didn't think about it

It is annoying, but I have done loads, it just doesn't look that way! I have one of those cupboards in the bedroom that go over the stairs (can't recall what it's called) and it is shelved and has a chest of drawers in it. The shelves have full plastic boxes and hat box type boxes (completely impractical), but I have managed to sort through most of them. For some reason, I stuffed a load of clean but used tights and stockings in one or two and odd socks in another. I couldn't face those, so have left them. I have though, gone through the plastic boxes that are stuffed full of cosmetics, cleansers, moisturisers, bath foams, shower gels...and so on and on and I have chucked loads of it out so they're gone! More to do tomorrow!

Tights and socks are easy, just put them with the rest of your clothes and only use those, nothing new or out of your drawer. When you need something grab it out of the bag, if they are good wear them, anything with holes, straight in the bin! Into the drawer when they come out the wash! No actual sorting needed!

I accumulate bathroom stuff, so I've banned myself from buying anything until what I have is used or discarded! It's all organised so I know what's there, I just tend to ignore the stuff I don't really like...but nit anymore. I either use it or throw it away.

What are you planning to do today?

Have 2DDs off sick today, DD3 from 8-9 this morning crying with a pain in her head, gave her 2 spoons of cal pol, rang gp for emergency appointment, got taxi down for DD3 to rally round in doctors office and declare she was starving while doctor was examining her!
Have wash on
Need to tidy sitting room floor and Hoover,
Unload dishwasher
Setting timer!

The thing is though...I hardly ever wear tights or stockings these days. I tend to wear socks that are more recent purchases, but can't bring myself to throw the others out yet :)

Today I have been going through Dd's toys. I have a bag to go to my cousin for their expected baby. A bigger bag to go to the Church bazaar and I'm quite pleased overall. Dd will not be!

I've also put things up on fc but I still have much to do yet!

Cike Groan. I hate it when they rally round in the Drs, then I feel guilty for being annoyed they've rallied around

How are they all now?

I don't need a timer, I need MN to go off line all but an hour in the evening! I stopped MNing for a good few months, I got SOOOOOOO much done! I probably even felt a little bit happier tbh, but I missed everyone.

Solo Well, are any of them unopened tights/stockings? If so, keep those and if not, could you go through them, pick half a dozen that don't have holes in them and throw out the rest? Socks, donate all the old ones to charity, all weight counts - good for them, good for you! They've been there for ages, if someone else had thrown them out, you would never have missed them! Choose a drawer for tights & socks, everything needs to fit in there comfortably so it's easy to put the washing away.

fc? I know, I know... I'm a ludite

Chipping, all feeling better now Tg!
Oh I just want a tidy house for christmas , beginning to frustrate myself how lazy I am!

Tg indeed Cike - it's FRIDAY. No sickness allowed!!

Are you lazy or do you just have too much to do or not enough energy to do what you need to do?

Think it's just a mixture of all 3, if I'm being honest! I need to sort the bedrooms, but I find once I come downstairs in the mornings, I don't go back up til evening, DD1 spends a lot of the day in her room, so I can't get in there!

The situation with DD is draining too. It's astounding how much physical energy is drained by emotional exhaustion. Try not to be too hard on yourself

So, being practical, you say you want a tidy house for Christmas :) Does that mean the sitting room, the kitchen, the dining room & hallway, or all of upstairs too or every nook and cranny in the place?

Not sure how to ask this or how you'll be able to answer it, but how bad is it? Realistically.

I did a big clean up and decorated for DS 18th birthday in June, so it is just generally untidy, have done tidy up of bedrooms twice since, but I can't keep up the momentum! I child mind sometimes in the house next door and I can keep it to perfection and the are 1 and 3!

cike (what does your username mean?) So it's not years of hoarding that you need to sort out? So you should be able to have it how you want it by Christmas? Have you got A Plan? I like to have A Plan. of course it always goes spectacularly to shit, but I like to have it anyway

my name is made up of the first 2 initials of my dcs names!