The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

[Solo]

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.

Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.

I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? :)

Oh as for doctors I'll wait til then I think as have actually been fine more recently BUT I will see what happens when I'm back at work etc.

Well, I saw something on the TV about it being naff now; old hat one assumes , but I'm going to do it anyway as it will make extra space. I've got a tilt-able bracket, so it can be angled down making it more comfy to watch :). My CRT was a second hand job too about 10 years ago. It's a lovely picture and sound and a Toshiba, so reasonably good quality I think, but it takes up so much space!

C4C is Cash 4 Clothes. Got more bags of them to go, so that's good.

Rewiring will be great! :) but very dirty and disruptive :(

Ds is 16 and a typical teen really. Knows everything, won't listen, rude etc and I really find him difficult at times. We just rub each other up the wrong way a lot and we fell out.
He hurt himself last week and ended up on crutches so it was arranged for him to stay at Mums this week to make it easier for him to hobble to school. A Miracle occurred and he was OK again, so I assumed he would be at home instead of at Mums, but he wants to stay there to try to ease himself into getting to school on time as he doesn't sleep and then can't get up and is constantly late for school (it's literally 4 minutes walk from Mums, but over an hour on the bus from us).

Everyone seems to have done really well except for me :)

I intend to make good headway this coming week although Dd isn't back to school til Tuesday, so I won't get much done tomorrow.

Chipping use white vinegar to de-scale.

Babies - well done, I'm exhausted just reading that!

Fuzzy that is SO not an epic whinge fest!! If you ever want an epic whinge fest you need look no further than my thread when I was diagnosed with diabetes

I didn't realise you were both off work all week, as well as the kids home from school. That must have been nice for a change (mostly anyway!! ). You have had a very productive week! I'm impressed with how much you got done. I hope you can keep on top of what you have done and maybe just get the bag extra put out with the rubbish, it's not easy.

Do you want to be working?

Oh, if you saw it one some wanky tv program you can safely ignore it For me it's a height thing and a commitment thing, I like being able to move things around!

The old one does take up a lot of space, but the picture is fab so I can live with it for now.

C4C - I see! Every bit helps!!

DS - it's a lovely age/stage [fixed grin] A break will do you both good and I'm sure he's much nicer to your Mum than you in that teen way.

It's not about keeping up, it's about having people that understand, don't put yourself under pressure x

The Philips don't like vingar, they curl up and die. The citrus stuff is dead cheap, so I wont risk it! It's a bloody faff to do though.

The only bad thing about my crt is that I sometimes can't see the whole picture. I might only be able to see one half of a persons face if it was made for widescreen tv. I sound like I'm always in front of the television, but in reality, I watch maybe 2 hours a week unless I'm following a series.

Ds apologised to me this morning and we had a hug. He's gorgeous, but a real pita at times!

Have you done your kitchen yet?

Teenagers are like toddlers You've just lost the ability to tuck them under your arm when they act up and stick them in bed at 7pm!

It's easy to adj the crt to scale down the picture :) ... but a bit late now!! 2 hrs pw, really, god - mine is on much more than that per day, but I rarely properly watch it. I listen to it while MNing

No, I haven't done the kitchen, I should have. I just can't face it.

Morning! Fire has been cleaned out, going to give the sitting room a quick once over then begin the joy of waking DCs

cike. It's horrible having to wake kids :(

Chipping I hadn't realised you had diabetes, that's horrible :( definitely entitled to a whinge fest about that! I hope you are managing it ok and getting help with it.

I do love my job yes but it takes quite a toll physically and mentally despite having reduced to minimal hours (12pw) since I got ill. However I'm also worried it would be more damaging to my psyche if I quit (not to mention financially terrible).

We'd both taken the week off in case we could get manage to go away for a bit (ha!) but I'm glad we didn't because we wouldn't have been able to get so much done. I'm knackered this morning but just the fact I'm waking up in a much tidier bedroom makes a big difference! Now I just need to work out the balance of carrying on with decluttering AND keeping up with the regular house stuff without overdoing it. Slow and steady wins the race right? :)

Wake children, surely not !

My kids are all downstairs eating breakfast I leave out ready for them and I am getting into the shower.

Change of plan, we are swapping out broken running machine in our room..back for another one that works...I can start running again !

That is the good news the bad news is that I only have a couple of days to clear our bedroom.....arghh.

Wish me luck I am going to need it...everything I wasn't sure what to do with and didn't have a home is dumped here including two bags if little things that will take forever to sort.

BAbieseverywhere, 3/4 of my DC are teenagers and no 4 thinks she is one also! DH and DS gone to work, I was quite reluctant to let DS go to work as he spent 6hrs in a&e with concussion after a rugby match! DD 2 and 3 gone to school, just me and DD1! Need to get dressed and head for Lidl

fuzzy. I don't really talk about it on MN as my family don't know and I know MNers IRL, the thread is under another name. Family don't know because I can do without all the 'worry' and fuss! I got it into normal last year by low carbing, hoped to basically reverse it, but been a carby twat this year so things aren't too good with it! Need to start lc again. I don't take any meds for it, but if I don't lc I will need to :(. Initial retinopathy (eyes) ok, as was annual check this year, won't be if I keep eating like this

Re the job, I think it is better for most people to have a job that makes them get out of the house and interact with others, it's just hard when it drains you so much. If you stopped working, wouldn't you be able to claim an equal amount in benefits? I know it's horrible relying on them, but sometimes needs must hey.

Yes, slow and steady wins the race :). Maintaining what you have already achieved is more important than moving forward. It's demoralising to take a step backwards, even if you achieve something else. If you let your bedroom go to achieve sorting another room, you'd just think you weren't getting anywhere, but if you can keep your bedroom looking good and not make any progress you won't feel you're slipping back. You have to mess with your own head

babies that's good news about the running machine! Are you at home today or working? Leave the two bags of little bits, do all the big stuff, make as big a visual impact as possible!! Good luck!

Didn't get anything done and now I have a big running machine in the middle of my dining room.

2yo DD3 has passed her hearing test but doctor still concerned by her lack of speech...it has made me feel sad today.

Will have a better attitude tomorrow.

Right, now I am in the middle of chaos!

I am going to hang out towels and decide whether to attack bedroom or rip out temporary blinds from living room which were to replaced 8 years ago and put up cheap bamboo ones up and a cream curtain till I can afford some better quality matching the room ones.

Have bought black,am going to attempt to declutter under my stairs at some stage!
Am going to tidy sitting room and light fire! Timer set!

Have bought black bags

Cike Good plan that is another job on my never ending list. Tell us how you get on.

I am going to town to look at blinds...I really sick of mine and need to cheer myself up.

Fire lit, sitting room clean!
Dishwasher on
Washing machine on
Bit of 25th December shopping done!
Going to give the hall 15 mins of my time!

Babies When will DD turn 3. What does she say - if anything.

Good luck with the blinds, I need to get onto that too, I just cba.

Cike I am so envious of your fire :(

Chipping, don't be envious, just think of having to clean it out every morning !
Have cleared out DD3 trofast under the stairs, 11/2 black bags filled, will hold onto them til school fair in Dec, as soon as there is a call out for donations, I'll be in like a shot!

I have bought three white cheap blinds and my DF has promised to come back on Thursday to fit them.

I aim to clear the house of car seats by then...though I will gave to live with the running machine until I have cleared more of our room.

Re DD3 she is 3 yo in July. She says..

Mummy (me, lots of people, also means 'I need help')

Daddy (daddy, lots of people, also means home)

uce (juice means all drinks)

nana (banana means all food)

dat ('that' covers loads of things)

down (down stairs, out of cot/pram, put me down)

No (very clear word, her most common word)

Shue (shoes, feet, socks)

eeh (key, leave house, go home)

eep (sleep, tired, bed)

She also signs all gone, sleep, please and thankyou

She also takes an adults hand and uses it as a tool to get what she wants. She also picks up and throws my hand to try and get me to pick things up which are out of her reach !

cike cleaning it out was always my job at home along with a lot of other stuff, I'd prefer and open fire with an embers shoot if I had the choice! It's cold here tonight but I can't put the heating on [it needs turning on when I can run around checking all the rads are OK as it hasn't been on since they were put back on] so I might climb into bed with the laptop shortly

You did well 'under the stairs' :) (Will DD not see everything at the fair and want to buy it back??)

Babies so she's only 2.3. It is obviously worth getting checked out and getting any help on offer, but tbh she is still very young and I wouldn't let it worry me. I know plenty of children who didn't say anymore than that at her and and many who said even less. My sister didn't talk hardly at all and when she did she wasn't very clear. At about 2.6 she went for speech therapy and at the second session I was off school so went along, within 2 mins the ST said 'Hmm, it's quite clear why DD2 does't speak much ' I didn't let her, she only had to look at something and I knew what she wanted so got it or asked for it for her :). I had to learn not to, to help her :( One of my friends, her DS was 3.2 before he said anything other than 'Mummy', 'Daddy' (and like your DD wasn't just for his actual Mum & Dad) and boing.

Thanks Chipping I am just very over anxious about DS and DD3 at the moment...I am trying to throw myself onto other things.

Babies what's up with DS3? Was it DS3 that you were struggling to get to school?

chipping, I normally help out so can hide some stuff! A lot of it was McDonald's stuff ( DN used to work there before emigrating), and a ton of bratz dolls that she only plays with in the bath!
babies hope things start to improve for you! Bloody kids, nothing but a worry!